Bound and Determined
Chapter 8
Agitated beyond measure, Pansy paced the study like a caged animal. With the girls in their lessons and Bobby down for his nap, she had nothing but her turbulent thoughts to occupy her. As her eyes lit upon the incriminating liquor cart, she gave the inanimate object a look of such white hot scorn one might expect it to combust and turn to ash.
She felt so incredibly torn. On the one hand, she was absolutely nauseated by the idea that she'd nearly had her wicked way with the rodent in this very room had he not put a stop to it. On the other, the memory of his lips and hands, not to mention every part of his physique she was able to run her hands over, were having an altogether different effect on her body. Seriously! What was the matter with her? It was as if all her common sense flew out the window the moment he was within reach. The prospect of sleeping in the same room as him that evening was causing her all kinds of anxiety.
Consequently, she was running out of time. She had to figure out her game plan and in very short order. Should she kick him out and divorce him? She'd already resolved there was no way she was leaving this house. It was her dream home in every way, and she'd be damned if she would vacate it for him. But staying married seemed too surreal to her. She barely knew the weasel, let alone held any kind of affection for him, sexual attraction aside. Was remaining with him really an option?
Should she demand custody of their children or send them packing with him? Involuntarily, the latter option made her eyes burn and sting, and a painful lump formed in her throat. She fought to force down the unexpected wave of emotion, deeply disturbed by how quickly she'd grown attached to them. Would they even want to stay with her if she left their father or would they choose him? Something clenched viciously in her chest at the notion of not seeing them every day.
Suddenly, a light tapping sounded at the door and Pansy's eyes were drawn to it in a snap. "Hello? Yes?" she responded warily.
The door edged open and much to her relief, her father's smiling yet tentative face peeked in. "Hello, Petal! Up for a visit?"
"Oh Papa, it is so good to see you," she gushed as she made a beeline for him. "I've missed you so much."
Robert Parkinson only managed to make it three steps into the room before his daughter engulfed him in a crushing hug.
"Sweetness, it's only been a couple days," he tried to reason with her, chuckling at her enthusiastic welcome.
"I know," she murmured as she pulled away to regard him. "But it is so bizarre living in this house with complete strangers who claim to know me."
"Pansy, it will take time," he reassured her. "And perhaps your memory will start to return."
"I still can't believe all of this is quite real. You're sure you and Draco aren't pulling a prank on me," she smiled at him playfully, but there was an edge to her voice.
Pansy did not miss the look of despondence that clouded her father's eyes. "It's not a trick, Petal," he provided quietly, then made his way over to the liquor cart to pour himself a Firewhiskey.
"Papa, can I ask you something?" Pansy queried, deciding a change in conversation was ideal.
"Of course, Petal," he responded, happy for a new subject.
Pansy flounced herself onto the settee, crossed her arms and regarded him with a massive pout curling her lip. "Why, in Merlin's name, did you make Percy Weasley your second in command? I simply don't understand."
He looked at his sullen child and felt a wave of aggravation nearly overwhelm him. Where had the strong, vibrant, independent woman his daughter had grown into go? "Because you asked me to," he answered ruefully.
Pansy began to sputter in indignation, "I asked you to? Me? Now I know you're joking."
"Actually, you demanded it," he smiled fondly at the memory. "I didn't outright give him the position to appease you. He was on probation for a good year, much to your consternation."
"I clearly must have lost my head," she insisted, examining her nails with a dismissive air.
"More like your heart, child. I'm not sure what he did to win you over, but you were ridiculously smitten."
Pansy shuddered at the thought. "He must have slipped me Amortentia," she spouted defiantly. "So, what did he do to win you over?" she lobbed his own words back at him.
"He doubled the company's annual profits in less than a year," Robert responded evenly.
Pansy stared at her father momentarily speechless. "Really? Huh… How did he manage that?" she finally asked, clearly gobsmacked.
"He was well connected in the ministry through his previous job, extremely familiar with all the administrative loopholes that would most benefit the company, and he came from a well positioned family despite our opinion of them. Needless to say, he used these advantages to their fullest extent plus his innate gift for business to navigate the company into new markets."
"And now, you're handing him the keys to the kingdom," she levelled, truly galled by the fact that a Weasley was taking control of her family's company while her father waltzed merrily off into retirement.
"Would you rather I hand it over to Malfoy?" he scoffed in derision. "He'd drive the company straight into the ground faster than you can say 'galloping gorgons'."
"What about me?" Pansy stuck out her chin, still endeavouring to challenge his decision.
"Oh please, Pansy. You have no mind for commerce, and I would block you if you attempted a takeover. Besides, Weasley would give you everything you could possibly want on a silver platter, even if you decided to leave him. You've always had the man wrapped around your little finger."
Although she would never admit to it, there was something deeply satisfying about having a man at your beck and call. "He really loves me that much?"
"Pansy, my dearest and only child, I'm going to give you a piece of advice," he offered gently, taking up a seat beside her on the settee. "There are plenty of pureblood wizards out there who would be thrilled to burn through your wealth and treat you like rubbish in the process. When a man loves you the way Weasley does, you don't toss it aside for something more fun or socially acceptable."
"And how exactly does the weasel love me?" she asked, clinging to her adversarial position.
"Madly and stupidly, and it was that blind devotion to you that served to build my company into a global leader. Weasley has only ever wanted to be with you and keep you happy. You can literally do no wrong in his eyes."
"Is that a challenge?" Pansy smirked at her father coyly.
Robert sighed heavily, feeling all of his seventy-eight years. "Don't gamble with people's emotions, Petal. You could lose far more than the affections of one man. I, for one, value my time with my grandchildren and my retirement. Thank you very much."
A sickening jolt of reality speared through Pansy, lancing her flippant bluster. She hadn't known her children long, but there was no denying she felt their deep, intrinsic link to her woven thoroughly into her magical core. Every moment spent with them only served to reinforce the connection.
"I could more easily stop breathing than give them up, Papa," she stated firmly.
For the first time in their discourse, Robert Parkinson saw a hint of the old Pansy unwittingly surfacing. He dared not mention it for fear of scaring off the emerging identity, but instead wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze.
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Pansy sat at the dinner table with her three children, staring disheartened at a vacant seat across from her. Something about the absence was driving up her hackles. While the girls ate and chatted happily, Pansy felt her appetite evaporate replaced instead by frustration, anger, and something that felt dangerously close to hurt. He had promised to be here. Pansy gave little regard to Bobby who was gleefully launching his food across the room only to have Tibby magically appear to catch it at the last moment then apparate in a snap to his side and feed him. It seemed to be their game.
"Doesn't your father normally join us for dinner?" Pansy asked the girls, growing even more agitated.
"Not always. Sometimes he has to work late, or he takes dinner in his study while he finishes paperwork," Miranda answered plainly.
"Or he's away on a work trip," Penny supplied.
Pansy was beginning to understand why the children were so profoundly affected by her accident and subsequent memory loss. It appeared they were customarily with her for the better part of the day and to lose that constant must have been devastating. Suddenly, Percy bustled into the room breathless.
"Sorry. Sorry. Got held up working through the back log from being off," he offered, moving quickly to his chair. He settled into his seat, then finally met Pansy's gaze. Her upset must have been apparent because his face instantly fell. "Is anything the matter?"
"You said you would be here for dinner," she rejoined, evidently miffed.
His eyes lit happily first with recognition and then dread. "Can we talk about this later when the children are asleep?"
And it hit Pansy square between the eyes. They'd had this argument before. She didn't have a specific memory to grasp onto, but a deep seeded awareness was starting to bloom in her chest.
"Fine," she bit out sharply. Then in a bid to flush out the negative emotion consuming her, Pansy took a deep breath and blew it out quickly. "So, I thought we could play a little game to help me with my memory," she announced, more for the sake of the children.
"Oooh, I love games," Penny tittered happily.
"Let's start with some easy questions. What is my favourite colour?" she asked animatedly.
Both girls' hands shot up as if they were in lessons and Pansy giggled in amusement. "Penny," she named.
"Emerald green. That was an easy one," she stated proudly.
"Yes, it is. Slytherin through and through," Pansy stated pompously. "What is my favourite flower," she asked next and the girls were a little slower to respond. Miranda raised her hand uncertainly. "Yes, Mira."
"I'm pretty sure it's orchids. That's what daddy gets you every year on Mother's Day."
Pansy had to think about it. As a child, she'd always preferred her namesake flower, but something told her it had changed. "You know, I think you're right. What is my biggest pet peeve?"
"Tardiness," the girls answered in unison without hesitation.
"How shocking," Pansy deadpanned, sending Percy a pointed look. He appeared to have become withdrawn and was focused entirely on his dinner. "How about one for your father." At the mention of his title, Percy's eyes shot up.
"Pardon?" he sputtered.
"We're playing a game of sorts and it's your turn. What is my favourite dessert?" she asked, a challenge dancing in her eyes.
Percy cleared his throat and she could see he had an answer but was debating with himself. "Chocolate pudding," he finally offered.
"Ha! No it's…" but Pansy stopped, a wave of arousal flooding her system. Confused, she looked to Percy only to find he was blushing clear to his roots. "I… Um… Maybe you're right on that one. But it's been a long time, hasn't it?"
"Yes, it has," he murmured, taking up his utensils with a decidedly forlorn look, and resumed the shovelling of food into his gob.
Pansy had the distinct impression they were no longer discussing desserts. "Perhaps we could have some soon then? To celebrate me being home," she offered innocently enough, batting her eyes and taking a delicate bit of her meal.
Percy began to cough and sputter violently on his food in response, confirming her suspicions.
"Daddy, are you alright?" Miranda asked concerned.
Percy grabbed his napkin and covered his mouth as he continued to clear his airway. He trained his eyes on Pansy as he did so, but finally answered when he was able, "I'm fine, Mira. Thank you for asking."
Pansy could only sit primly as she picked over her dinner, a victorious smirk teasing her lips.
"Can we focus on our dinners, please? I'm famished," Percy asked, visibly frazzled.
"I'll bet you are," Pansy muttered into her water before taking a sip.
"What was that?" Percy stuttered.
"Nothing," she piped up pleasantly, which only seemed to increase his agitation.
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Pansy poured over the notes in her hands baffled by what she could possibly have been trying to do. When she'd initially found them on her first day home, she'd dismissed their importance and shoved them back into her nightstand. But now, she felt they were key to her recovery. She had always excelled in potions when at Hogwarts, but this was well beyond anything she'd ever studied before. Even more astonishing was the fact that the complex series of potions were of her creation.
Contrary to what Healer Marshall suggested, Pansy was begrudgingly becoming more and more convinced that she hadn't been attempting to dissolve the marriage bond at all. Regardless of how much she disliked Weasley, rationally she knew her abhorrence was due to long held prejudices and had nothing to do with him as a person. If she looked at their situation objectively, she recognized they were well off; her children adored her; and Weasley, for all his faults and foibles, would bend over backwards for her. What witch in her right mind would want to give that up, love be damned?
She quickly dismissed the notion she'd been having an affair. No wizard had secretly solicited her affections in the past week, she'd never been the type to engage in one night stands, and Draco's interest seemed lukewarm at best despite his best efforts to convince her otherwise. He was definitely up to something though, that much was clear. The whole concept of Potter and Draco as a couple still boggled her mind. Also to be considered was the annoyingly visceral sexual reaction she had to Weasley whenever he was in close physical proximity to her.
She resolved that she needed to provide these notes to Healer Marshall at her check up in the morning. Perhaps the woman and her team would be able to make heads or tails of them. Pansy heard a light knock at the door and quickly stowed the notes back into her nightstand. She kicked off her slippers, swung her legs up onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard.
"Come in," she called out with a sing-song voice.
Percy entered quickly, making minimal eye contact with her before heading straight for the ensuite bathroom. She really shouldn't have expected more from him. Although enlightening, dinner had been a truly awkward affair.
"Wealsey," she called to him.
"Hm," came a barely audible mumble from the partially open door and Pansy couldn't control the eyeroll this instigated.
"May I have a word with you?" she supplied.
"I will be done shortly," was his tight-lipped response.
"Take your time," she sighed more to herself.
Percy emerged moments later, but immediately set to scurrying about preparing himself for bed. Pansy watched him with growing impatience, wondering when he'd finally muster the courage to meet her piercing stare.
"Weasley!" she finally barked, causing him to jump slightly and meet her gaze. "Are you always late to dinner, if you show up at all?"
Percy scoped about and searched for an answer, propping his right hand on his hip while scrubbing at the back of his neck with his left hand.
"It's been a busy time transitioning authority from your father to me, and the expansion into South America has been a whole different bag of crazy. Then I had to clear the back log from regular operations when I took time off to…"
"You work too much," Pansy stated flatly. "I have no idea whether it was a part of why I did what I did with the marriage bond potions, but it's hard not to conclude I was feeling neglected."
Dropping his hands, Percy moved to the temporary cot that had been set up for him and plopped himself down. He gave an inordinate amount of attention to the hands he'd clasped in front of him.
"As much as it pains me to admit, I have no doubt you love me." Percy's eyes shot up to meet hers, but she held up her hand to stay his comeback. "My father has taken advantage of that love for over ten years now to grow the company and line his pockets. I'm not saying we didn't benefit either, but… but underneath all the grandeur, you're no better than a glorified house elf, Weasley. Is that really what you want?"
Percy struggled to answer. "It was worth it when you felt the same. Now that you…" Percy was unable to continue, momentarily looking skyward while shaking his head then driving his glassy eyes back to his tightly clasped hands.
"I'm not going to lie. I can't pretend to feel something I don't," Pansy rejoined firmly.
Percy could only nod his head mutely.
"That's not to say I would be opposed to you trying to convince me. Although I'm dubious, my father made a fair point. You brought about the impossible once. Who's to say you can't do it again," she finished with false nonchalance, shrugging her shoulders dismissively.
"Don't play with me," Percy answered darkly, his voice thick and strained.
She met his fixed gaze head on and refused to flinch or look away. "I couldn't be more serious."
As they held each other's gaze a silent agreement passed between them.
"Goodnight, Pansy," he offered, as he laid down and tried to settle into the strange bed.
"Goodnight, Wea… Percy." Pansy replied quietly, wondering if she was finally losing her mind agreeing to give him a chance.
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Percy was ripped from a dead sleep by an ear-splitting scream. Without pause, he sat up and launched himself out of bed toward where he knew Pansy to be. She was thrashing about violently, and her terrified shrieks drove his panicked mind into overdrive. He leapt onto the bed and laying alongside her, desperately wrapped his arms around her to stay her manic flailing.
"Shush Pansy, I'm here! It's alright. You're safe," he cooed to her, brushing a hand over the crown of her head then down her arm.
Upon hearing his voice, she began to calm and blink a few times, bringing herself into consciousness. Her eyes found his in the dark and she immediately dissolved into wracking, uncontrollable sobs. He hugged her close and as she continued to tremble and cry, she clung harder to him. Hooking his arm behind her knees, he sat up and pulled her into his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and began to rock her gently, all the while whispering softly. The door to their bedroom cracked open and a sliver of light spilled into the room. Percy squinted at the silhouette standing stiffly in the doorway.
"Mira, is that you?" he called out softly. "What is it, baby?"
"I heard mummy screaming. Is… is she alright?" the girl replied, voice quivering and full of worry.
"She just had a nightmare, but she'll be ok," he tried to reassure the child.
Still shaking, Pansy gently pulled out of Percy's embrace to look to Miranda at the door. She shifted off his lap and turned herself completely toward the child.
"I'm alright. I'll be fine," Pansy stuttered out, swiping at the tears on her cheeks, although the action did nothing to stem the tears still pooling in her eyes. "I'm sure a hug from you would chase the monsters away completely though."
Miranda skittered into the room, and sitting on the bed, snaked her arms around her mother's midriff. Pansy wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders and laid her cheek atop the child's head, certain she was taking more comfort from the connection than she was giving.
"You really scared me, mummy," Miranda murmured into her shoulder.
"I was really scared," Pansy answered back with brutal honesty. She pulled herself out of the child's arms and giving her an adoring look, tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Now it's back to bed for everyone."
Miranda levelled Percy with a very serious look. "Daddy, you are going to stay with mum, right? You're not going to leave her alone."
"Yes baby, I am," Percy confirmed, "Do you need me to tuck you in?"
Miranda's eyes shifted between them uncertainly, and Pansy could see the child wanted her father to carry her to bed but was displeased by the prospect of leaving her mother without comfort.
"It's fine, Mira. I can manage without your father for a few minutes," Pansy teased.
Miranda leaned in once again to give Pansy a quick hug and kiss, and then was happy to be scooped up by Percy. As he walked out of the room with her hoisted on his hip, Pansy could hear him chiding her, "You know, you're going to be too big to carry soon."
"Never going to happen, Dad," Miranda retorted, and Pansy snorted at her sass.
Pansy laid back down and mulled over the dream still fresh in her mind. This time, it ended with the beast on top of her clawing its way up her legs on the verge of lunging at her. It had red, feverish eyes, long matted hair and sharp serrated fangs. She shuddered at the vivid and horrific images in her mind and nestled down deeper under the covers. Percy ambled back into the room a few minutes later and hesitated when he came to the bed. He looked between his temporary cot and Pansy curled up in a tight ball.
She glanced up at him and seemed to be on the verge of tears again. "Can you lay with me for a bit until I go to sleep?" she asked timidly.
The all too familiar words from her ricocheted through Percy, bringing him back to another time and he swallowed hard. "I can stay with you as long as you need me to," he assured her, and he climbed back into the bed.
Pansy only nodded and unfurled a little from her tense fetal position when he stretched out beside her. Percy stared up at the ceiling, suspecting this was going to be the ultimate test of his self-control. How was he possibly expected to fall asleep with her so near and not be able to hold her? Oddly however, his eyelids felt unbelievably heavy and his eyes slid shut after only a few minutes. He ruminated as he drifted off that although she was an altogether different person now, the mere nearness of her felt soothing to him.
Pansy watched in quiet wonder as sleep claimed him; his breathing becoming slow and even. She felt calm and safe having him near, but a nagging at the back of her mind kept her from following suit. She debated against the impulse. Would it wake him? If it did, would he object? Pansy decided to throw caution to the wind and follow her instinct. Tentatively, she reached up and laid her palm on his chest. He shifted only slightly and sighed but otherwise remained asleep. She felt the steady, constant beat of his heart pulsing under her palm, and the rhythm lulled her into a deep sleep.
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Author's Note: Thank you everyone so much. I know it has been ages, but I honestly believe I was not in the right place in life to tell this story when I first posted.
Lady Mage: I'm thrilled you're still here. I promise to update more frequently than once every 10 years. Lol.
ScarlettMeadow23102: I will try my utmost to have updates posted every two weeks.
: I'm happy to be back. I've really missed writing, but just wasn't in the position to with family and work obligations.
parkastoria: I know exactly how you feel. I have some stories by other authors that I regularly revisit. It means the world to me that you feel this way. So, thank you!
theflowofmusic: Helloooo! That decade flew. Happy to be back though.
angelXofXlighting: I'm so happy to be back and that you're here for the ride 😊