Author's Note: So sorry for the late update. Between having no internet on a campsite for over a week and the chapter itself turning into a bit of a Goliath, it got away from me.
Chapter 9
As the fog of sleep began to clear from her mind, Pansy became acutely aware of an arm slung around her middle and a firm chest pressed against her back. Although the feeling of being cocooned in solid warmth was an incredibly pleasurable sensation, Pansy's curiosity got the better of her and she chanced a glance over her shoulder to determine the identity of her bedmate.
She gazed at the man beside her in wonder, watching his slow, even breaths. Something about his boyish features and peaceful expression made her chest swell with affection. Without warning, her mind came fully into consciousness and she recoiled in disgust and mortification at the reality of the position she was in.
"Get off me. What, in Merlin's name, do you think you're doing?" she screeched, shoving Percy's arm away and scooting herself to the other side of the bed.
Percy looked about with blurry, confused eyes. "Beg pardon? What?" he mumbled, still mostly asleep.
"You were groping me, you tosser," Pansy growled at him.
Percy sat up dazedly, still trying to gather his bearings. Casting about in bewilderment, he muttered, "I'm sorry. I… I must have forgotten myself."
He scrambled out of bed, doing his utmost to avoid any kind of eye contact with her. As he stood there trying to regain his centre, Pansy's eyes involuntarily travelled the course of his body and her mind flashed to an image of him completely starkers and dripping wet.
"Or… or you were trying to cop a cheap feel," she lobbed back, dragging her eyes back to his face and attempting to shake the desire starting to churn low in her belly.
Now completely awake, his eyes settled on her in hooded disdain, "Oh please, Pansy, I did nothing of the kind. If you recall, you asked me to sleep beside you last night."
"The effective word here is "beside", you pig. If I wanted a foray into bestiality, I'd shag a mountain troll before letting you lay your gross, sweaty paws on me," she spouted haughtily.
Percy's posture went rigid and a ripple of tension worked its way through his jaw. Features taut with indignation, he bit out quietly, "Well I assure you that won't be a problem in the future."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Pansy snapped, an inexplicable wave of anxiety suddenly squeezing her chest.
Percy began to collect his effects from the nightstand and refused to look at her. "Obviously, you and Healer Wood were mistaken. I am of absolutely no use to you. It would seem you are better off on your own."
"That is not what I said," Pansy whinged.
"What you said and what you meant are perfectly clear. You do not wish to have me anywhere near you. Now if you'll excuse me," he finished, moving to leave.
"Oh no, you don't. We are not done here," she barked, hauling herself up on the mattress and marching toward the end of the bed as he made his way around it and headed toward the door.
"Oh, but we are, Princess," he rejoined, turning to face her dead on.
"Don't call me that," she snarled, poking him in square in the chest to emphasize her authority.
"Please don't do that," he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"What? This?" She poked him harder, taking a strange kind of delight at his growing irritation.
"You are acting like a child," he forced out through clenched teeth.
"I'm sorry. Does this bother you?" she poked him three more times in quick succession and giggled at the redness overtaking his face.
"Stop that!" he barked, grabbing her hand to stay another jab.
"Or what?" she levelled, calling him out.
They stood inches apart in a charged stalemate. His eyes skittered briefly down to her lips and then back up to her eyes and Pansy felt as if she was going to burst from the anticipation. He swallowed down a wave of sudden unwelcome lust, then released her hand and broke from their staring contest.
"That's what I thought," she taunted him. "You're a chicken shit. It's any wonder you were sorted into Gryffindor."
Percy's hands instinctively came up to grasp her hips and he pulled her hard against him. Instinctively, Pansy brought her hands up to his chest to brace herself, feeling her heart race at the sudden contact. Drawing deep, slow breaths, she fisted his shirt in her hands and drew him closer. Their lips hovered mere inches apart as their breath mingled in a tempting dance. Pansy saw a spark of uncertainty flash in Percy's eyes and as he started to retreat, her last shred of restraint snapped.
"Sod it," she murmured.
She pressed her lips to his in a bruising kiss and snaked her arms around his neck. With little regard for propriety, she roughly deepened the kiss and Percy, confounded by what was happening, could only hold tighter to her as if gripping desperately to a lifeline.
It had been so long since she'd kissed him like this, her need and desire invading him, that all reason quickly fled his mind replaced by a desperate, overwhelming drive to touch and taste every inch of her. Percy wrapped his hand possessively around her thigh and pulled her into him, eliciting a light, appreciative moan from her. When he lifted her off the bed, Pansy instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, and they fell in a heap onto the mattress.
As their kiss broke, Percy latched his lips onto a point just below her earlobe and Pansy inhaled sharply, arching into his lithe frame. Then as he lathed open mouth kisses over the alabaster expanse of her neck, she wove her fingers into his frenetic red curls to keep him in place and panting frantically, squeezed her eyes shut to calm the dizzying effect he was having on her.
Percy pulled away to regard her with barely controlled lust, settling himself into the cradle of her hips. In doing so, he inadvertently pressed his hard length intimately against her and Pansy gasped at the blatantly fantastic feeling. Percy covered her lips with his, swallowing her subsequent sigh as if to devour the sound. Craving more of the friction he'd accidentally created, Pansy ground her hips against him, causing Percy to break their kiss and choke softly. His obvious pleasure drove an electrifying burst straight to her core. She took his face in her hands and pulled him in for another needful kiss, and Percy allowed himself to ease his weight onto her.
Suddenly, the door swung open without warning and Penelope bustled in, her eyes focused down to the charts in her hands. "Good morning, Pansy! How are you th… Whoa! Wow. Sorry… I'll come back later." And with that the good healer scampered off quickly, slamming the door shut behind her. Pansy groaned in frustration and let her head fall back onto the bed, while Percy pressed his forehead into the mattress and struggled to catch his breath.
"I should go," he panted softly beside her ear before reluctantly pulling away and moving off the bed.
Propping herself up on her elbows, she had the ephemeral thought that he looked rather delicious all discombobulated with bedhead hair and eyes darkly clouded with lust.
"Fine," she puffed, sitting up and leaning back against her hands. "But we're not done here, Weasley. You're moving back into this bedroom whether you like it or not."
As his hand fell on the doorknob, a bashful smile flirted its way over his lips. "Only if you play nicely."
"Do you promise to spank me if I don't?" she tossed at his retreating figure and was rewarded with something between a whimper and a groan from him.
She was going to throttle Penelope.
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Percy stepped out of the room and gently pulled the door closed. He reached up to press his hand against the cool wood and marvelled at how quickly things had escalated. He was so bloody confused. One minute, she was hurling insults and sending him looks of utter loathing. The next, she was snogging him senseless.
"Well damn, Weasley! You are one smooth operator." Percy jumped and turned to find Penelope Wood staring at him with a devilish smirk.
"Penny," he stammered dumbfounded, and he felt his ears and the back of his neck grow hot.
"I'll be honest. When I suggested you sleep in the same room together to give her a sense of security, I thought perhaps somewhere down the line you two might be able to reconnect. One night though? That must be some kind of record."
"Oi, shut it, Pen," Percy grumbled, but he couldn't quite subdue the smile threatening his lips.
"Another five minutes and I suspect I would have been scarred for life. Maybe hang a tie on the door next time, yeah?" she teased playfully. "Seriously though. What happened? I had to move heaven and earth to get her to agree to the arrangement in the first place."
"She had a night terror. Scared the living shit out of me. I hadn't realized they were that bad. I never want to hear her scream like that again, Pen. She asked me to sleep beside her once I managed to calm her down."
"So, are you moving back into your room?" Penelope asked hopefully.
"I… I don't know." Percy scoped about, disquiet marring his features. "Is it strange that I feel like I'm cheating on my wife? I mean, this is Pansy… but she isn't my Pansy."
"It's not that strange really. Give her time," Penelope offered, growing earnest.
"She still doesn't remember any of us," Percy reasoned, a gentle kind of sadness seeping into expression.
"Perce, her memory isn't going to come back as a distinct "ah ha" moment. It may start as vague impressions or brief images."
Percy's mind drifted back to their dinner conversation the prior evening and he felt a surge of hope overtake him. What he wouldn't give to have his wife back. He was going to be lost if she was gone for good.
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Pansy laid staring blindly at the canopy above the bed, her mind far away and her heart chasing an elusive emotion. Intimacy had never been like that before. With other lovers, she hadn't been able to turn off her internal monologue during sex. There was always a running commentary of judgment and observation, as if she were watching the proceedings from an outside perspective.
With him just now though she had ridden mindlessly on the desire coursing through her veins and the sound of her heart pounding in her ears, and all they'd done was snog with some light groping. She could only imagine what the sex must be like, the notion making her grow uncomfortably aroused. What was even more frustrating was that she couldn't quite manage to grasp onto the feeling that was ricocheting through her ribcage. It was right there. She could almost touch it.
A quiet knock at the door disrupted Pansy's musings, and she eyed it with both dread and hope. What if he'd decided to come back?
"Yes?" she responded breathlessly.
"Hola!" Penelope peeped as she edged the door open. "All clear?"
"So now you knock," Pansy grumbled, angry with herself for feeling disappointed.
Penelope entered quickly, a sheepish yet gleeful expression dancing over her countenance, and pressed her back against the door as she shut it. "Sooooo…."
"Soooo…." Pansy answered back, parroting her tone.
"How was your night?" Penelope asked lightly, making a few notes in her charts as she pushed off the door and made her way to the foot of the bed.
"Only one nightmare," Pansy supplied elusively.
"Was Percy's presence helpful?" Penelope inquired, the picture of innocence and professionalism.
"Yes, he was able to comfort and calm me."
"Apparently," Penelope mumbled under her breath.
Cocking a solitary eyebrow, Pansy crossed her arms and gave her healer a pointed look. After a few beats of purposely ignoring her, Penelope met Pansy's gaze and tried to maintain a sense of decorum but both women began to sputter and burst out laughing moments later.
Penelope gracelessly plopped down on the bed as her fit of giggles finally subsided. "Really, really sorry, Panse. It was truly the last thing I expected to see coming in here."
"You're telling me. I honestly can't explain what happened. We were arguing and then…" Pansy shook her head perplexed. "Sitting here now, the notion of being intimate with a weasel repulses me to no end. But evidently you stand Percy Weasley in front of me in a ratty old shirt and a pair of boxers, and I want to ride him like a bicycle. Sweet Circe, the things that man can do with his tongue."
"Helga's saggy tits, Pansy, I did not need that visual in my head. Thank Merlin I haven't had breakfast yet."
Pansy chuckled quietly at Penelope's reaction, but grew pensive. "Were we always like that? Or is just because of the disruption to the bond? It feels really intense."
"I can't be sure. You two have always been affectionate with each other. The fact that you have three children already and you don't appear to be slowing down any time soon should speak volumes though."
Pansy nodded but seemed agitated and distracted. "What can you tell me about my current relationship with Draco Malfoy?"
Penelope tensed, uncertain of how to answer. She didn't want to cause drama, however knew she needed to be honest with her friend. "How do I put this nicely? You have two best girlfriends. I'm one and… and Draco is the other. You two are very close, but it's definitely platonic."
This explanation somehow made sense to Pansy. She'd known Draco for as long as she could remember. They'd grown up together. Though she understood they'd dissolved their marriage contract and broken their engagement in favour of pursuing love matches, it would have been strange to not have him in her life at all. That didn't explain his behaviour in the hospital though. Why had he tried to encourage her romantic advances if they were just friends?
Seeming to read her train of thought by her troubled expression, Penelope leaned forward and placed a hand on Pansy's arm. "Hey there. Not saying it was the wisest course of action playing up to you in the hospital and he certainly caught an earful from Harry, but Draco may have just been trying to keep you calm until Percy arrived."
Pansy nodded again, but felt doubt clouding her mind. She was certain there was more to it than that, or else he wouldn't have tried to flirt with her again in the restaurant, albeit miserably. She was missing something, a key piece of information.
"Can you tell me about what I was working on in the lab? Why I'd be playing around with the marriage bond if I was so happy with Weasley?" Pansy asked, uncharacteristically allowing herself to be vulnerable.
Penelope glanced about and shifted uneasily. This was the conversation she had been fearing because she honestly didn't understand her friend's intentions. Leading up to the accident, she knew Percy had been working long hours on both the expansion into South America and the succession transition and Pansy was feeling isolated with the children and neglected. It was one thing to consciously know your husband adores you and quite another to feel like you're at the bottom of the priority list regardless.
"That I don't know. You were being incredibly secretive about it," Penelope provided, although the dismay cutting a path across her brow belied her attempt to be supportive. "We should get you moving. Your appointment is in less than an hour."
Pansy could only hum noncommittally in assent. This conversation had left her with more questions than answers unfortunately.
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An hour later, Percy and Pansy sat side by each in the small office in complete silence, an unusual energy simmering between them that neither was quite ready to acknowledge. Their early morning escapade had instigated a definite shift in the bond. Pansy felt hyper aware of Percy's presence, the incessant bouncing of his leg fraying her very last nerve.
"Where is that bloody woman?" he muttered, his agitation starting to brim over.
"Calm down," Pansy hissed, placing a hand on his knee to stay the nervous tick that was driving her mental. "I'm sure they're just reviewing my charts."
Pansy glanced at her hand and felt an impulse to edge her hand higher tickling the back of her mind. For his part, Percy froze unable to even draw a breath, as the slight buzz from earlier had amplified to a deafening rush in his ears at the abrupt contact. Pansy allowed her thumb to swipe gently over the fabric separating her hand from his skin and wondered dazedly at how best to eliminate the barrier. In a rush, Percy slid his hand beneath hers and laced their fingers together.
"Alright there?" he inquired shakily.
"Yes, just… just don't let go of my hand," Pansy commanded, disturbed by the acute inclinations threatening her better judgment.
Percy nodded distractedly. Then, without thinking, he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss to it before returning their entwined hands to his knee. Pansy watched the entire interaction in awe, feeling a resurgence of the affection she'd experienced when she'd first awoken in his arms. She shifted her focus forward and tried to calm the torrent of conflicting emotions waging a war inside of her. Suddenly, the door burst open and in scurried a stout, little powerhouse of a woman.
"Thank you for your patience," Healer Marshall managed, huffing her way to her seat behind the desk that separated them. "The team just wanted a bit more time with those notes you provided, Mrs. Weasley." As she sat, she observed their connected hands and a hopeful smile split her round face. "So, I see you are starting to reconnect. That is very encouraging."
"We have good and bad moments," Percy provided, unwilling to allow his hope to carry him away.
"As to be expected. Have any of your memories started to return?" Healer Marshall asked, redirecting her focus to Pansy.
"No, not really," Pansy answered, feeling defeated.
"She… she's not remembering per say, but she seems to be grasping onto items of significance."
Pansy glanced to him quickly, confused by what he could possibly be referencing.
"Really? Such as what?" Healer Marshall inquired further.
"Well, we as a family were talking about her favourite things last night… colour, flower, dessert… you know… and I brought up a special dessert from our courtship and she seemed to catch my drift…. so to speak… um…" Percy flushed deeply, powerless to continue.
Recognizing his meaning immediately, Healer Marshall tried to school her features, but her amusement was clear. "Is that so? Pansy, what were you thinking when discussing that particular item with Percy?"
"Honestly?" Pansy asked, feeling mild embarrassment creeping up on her.
"Yes," Healer Marshall responded with warm patience.
"Deeply aroused," she answered plainly.
Percy began to cough and sputter, and his face grew impossibly redder.
"I take it from your reaction, Mr. Weasley, that is an entirely fitting response from Mrs. Weasley to the dessert in question," Healer Marshall offered. "This is all very encouraging and leads me to my other questions. Have you consummated your bond since the accident?"
Both Percy and Pansy stared at the healer flummoxed by her audacity.
"I… I don't feel that is entirely appropriate of you to ask," Pansy responded, thoroughly put out.
"Although I understand your reluctance completely, it is a very necessary question, especially in light of what we established from your notes."
"We have not yet been intimate," Percy interjected, then gave Pansy a surreptitious glance sideways. "We came close this morning, however."
Healer Marshall nodded mutely and made some notes in her file. "This is another uncomfortable question, but I assure you it is also necessary. Mr. Weasley, when was the last time you and Mrs. Wealsey engaged in sexual relations?"
"I… Why do you need to know that?" Percy stammered, becoming agitated.
Pansy looked to Percy again with concern and noticed he seemed to be growing increasingly out of sorts.
"Has it been greater than three months?" Healer Marshall pressed on undeterred.
Percy's eyes skidded over to Pansy briefly then he looked away unable to meet either woman's gaze. "Yes," he mumbled.
"I thought so," Healer Marshall murmured more to herself as she made additional notes.
"Are you kidding me?" Pansy burst. "How could we possibly have gone more than three months without shagging? I can barely keep my hands off you now and I don't even know you."
"Actually, Pansy, I believe your abstinence had to do with the experiment you were conducting at the time of your accident," Healer Marshall piped in.
"Excuse me?" Percy snapped, re-engaging in the conversation.
"It is some very exciting work, Mrs. Weasley. My team is in complete awe of what we believe you were trying to accomplish."
"Can you please enlighten me, as my wife apparently didn't think I needed to be in the know? What exactly was she up to that would have been worth risking her life and our marriage?" Percy growled, relinquishing Pansy's hand in order to grasp the arm of his chair.
Both Pansy and Healer Marshall looked to Percy in astonishment, momentarily speechless. Healer Marshall blinked down at the paperwork in her hands and tried to formulate a response that would diffuse the situation.
"Mr. Weasley, I was mistaken when I previously asserted in our first meeting that your wife was attempting to dissolve your marriage bond. We now know that most definitely was not the case. I recognize that was incredibly insensitive of me and I'm very sorry for subjecting you unnecessarily. We now believe she was trying to alter the marriage bond, however, whether it was supposed to be permanent or temporary is unclear."
"Why, on earth, would she want to alter our marriage bond?" Percy leaned forward, ignoring Pansy whose focus was solely fixed on him.
"It's complicated. But I feel it's best to discuss this fully. Have you ever heard of surrogacy?"
Both Percy and Pansy shook their heads in the negative.
"It is a muggle practice whereby a woman carries a baby for a couple who is unable to have children. This is almost unheard of in the magical world for a number of reasons. A witch who would physically be able to carry a child for a couple would be young and unmarried, but most likely not possess the emotional or psychological fortitude to follow through, leading to any number of nightmare situations for all involved. Conversely, a married witch perhaps with children of her own may have the emotional maturity, but her marriage bond would have severe adverse effects on the fetus, leading to miscarriage or major developmental issues. Your wife was attempting to alter the composition of the marriage bond, so that a surrogacy pregnancy could be possible."
"What… what does this have to do with how long it's been for us?" Percy asked, dread clawing its way up his spine.
"I suspect she was using herself as a guinea pig of sorts. In theory, the witch's body needs to be neutral for as long as possible before conception can safely take place."
Percy looked down, staring at nothing but his eyes darted about frantically. "You have got to be fucking joking," he muttered more to himself. "Are you kidding me with this shite?" he burst, standing abruptly and beginning to pace.
"What is it, Percy? I… I don't know what you're talking about," Pansy panted, becoming alarmed by the aggression and tension rolling off him in waves.
"All those months of the cold shoulder and pushing me away… All those damn excuses…" he rambled. "When, the fuck, were you going to tell me you were planning on carrying his child?"
"Who?" Pansy begged.
"I… I can't do this right now. Excuse me," Percy begged off before storming from the room.
"I need to go speak with my husband. Is there anything else you need to discuss with me before I take my leave?" Pansy asked, her voice trembling dangerously.
"Nothing that Healer Wood can't convey on her next visit. I'm sorry for causing such pain yet again. For what it's worth, your work on this has been nothing short of astounding. You may have opened the door of parenthood for many witches and wizards who have had to suffer through being childless."
"Considering I have zero memory of any of this and my marriage appears to be falling apart as a result, you'll excuse me if I'm feeling less than thrilled. Thank you for all that you've done."
Pansy stood and hastily made her way to the door without a backward glance.
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Pansy found Percy gazing vacantly out a large window, his face completely devoid of emotion. She studied him for a few minutes, watching the subtle changes in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," she finally forced out.
"Why? You have no memory of what you've done. There's no sense in you apologizing," he replied glibly.
"Regardless of whether I remember or don't, I still hurt you. So right here, right now. I'm sorry."
Percy briefly looked to the ceiling then down to the floor and cleared his throat. When he brought his eyes up to meet hers, she flinched at the raw hurt etched into his features.
"I should get you home. I have a lot of work to catch up on," he offered in a tired monotone.
"Shouldn't we talk about this?" Pansy pushed.
"What's there to talk about? If you never get your memory back, can you honestly say you want to stay married to me? You can barely tolerate me as it is. If by some miracle your memory does return, then I can guarantee we'd have the mother of all rows because of your little secret and probably end up divorcing anyway."
Pansy scanned his face and was overcome by the defeat seated in his eyes. "What if I want to stay with you?" she challenged.
"Oh please, Pansy. You don't need me for my money. Your father is beyond wealthy and you're his only heir. And Merlin knows you could have any bloke that caught your eye."
"But what about the bond? As odd as this sounds even to my ears, I don't think I could let myself be with anyone else."
"That feeling will likely dissipate once the bond is dissolved," Percy insisted.
She watched as he tried to covertly swipe at the wetness on his lashes and her throat constricted at the sight. Pansy cast about for another argument, the feeling of him slipping away making her desperate, but she came up empty-handed.
"What if I don't want it to?" she contended, sticking her chin out pompously.
Percy growled in aggravation and marched over to a set of benches across the way. Plopping himself down, he propped his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together tightly.
"Pansy, you don't love me," he ground out.
"But you love me, right? Even with all of this… whatever this is," she demanded, as she sat down precariously beside him. "No one has ever loved me like that before and I feel like I could have feelings for you if I tried."
"Being in love with someone isn't a matter of trying or forcing yourself, Pansy. You're either in love or you're not," he hurled at her as he stood and moved off to put some distance between them.
She sat and considered his words for a moment. "Then I am," she stated with finality and he stared at her nonplussed. "I think… I just haven't been able to pin down the feeling yet."
He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in exasperation. "Pansy, you can't just announce that you're in love with me then add a conditional of an 'almost' or a 'maybe'. You're not in love with me, alright? I think I'm a fair judge of your feelings after ten plus years of marriage. Why are you trying to convince me otherwise?"
"Why are you trying to talk me out of what I'm feeling? Maybe I am. Maybe I've never been in love with someone before, so I don't know what it feels like. But this sensation in my chest is intense and overwhelming and frankly scares the shit out of me. Yes, I can't stand you for right now. But the thought of losing you… of not having you with me is truly terrifying. So shut your gob and let's go home."
Pansy wasn't certain when she'd started crying, but she roughly wiped at her cheeks and sniffed proudly. Percy simply gaped at her gobsmacked, then shook his head slightly to clear away his shock and moved to stand directly in front of her.
"That was the worst proclamation of love I've ever heard," he mumbled, folding his arms around her, and pulling her into a hug.
Relief flooding her system, Pansy wrapped her arms about his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest. "Whatever, Weasley. You get what you get, so stop complaining."
She could feel the rumble of a chuckle vibrate through his chest as he leaned down and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. "It won't happen again," he murmured softly.
"See that it doesn't," she sassed back.
Imperceptibly, his arms cinched more tightly around her, and Percy fought hard to keep the lump in his throat under control and the fresh tears that stung his eyes at bay.