His senses returned slowly, one at a time. He heard the monitor beeping beside him and tried to fight past the fuzzy feeling in his brain to bring him out of sleep. Only after a few moments did he muster the energy to crack his eyes open, darting right and left before finally landing on his best friend sitting beside him.
"Hey..." Shay said softly, noticing his eyes open for the first time and running her thumb back and forth over his hand that she'd been holding.
In that moment, his last memory before the surgery came back to him. He had looked to her from the stretcher and she had waved through the window. In that one glance, the reality of the surgery hung between them. He was either going to wake up with paralysis, or wake up with the potential to return to his position as lieutenant of Squad 3.
Consciousness continued to come back, along with more of his senses. He was suddenly aware of the immobilizer wrapped around his chest, holding his right arm tightly against him, and the c-collar restricting the movement of his head. He pulled his left hand from Shay's and instinctively tried pulling at the collar before she took his hand and forced it back down.
"Hey, don't do that," she chided. "Leave it there."
He swallowed hard and she reached for the water beside the bed, offering it to him through a straw while still holding his left hand down. After a few sips, he sighed and she put the water back, putting a hand to his face.
"Welcome back. Are you okay?" she asked, smiling.
"You tell me," he croaked, anxiety rising.
"They said it went great, Kelly."
He raised his eyebrows.
"Really. They said everything went great. They're saying a full recovery," she smiled. "Let me go get the surgeon."
The doctor appeared in the doorway moments later, the very same one that had sat across from him and promised a return to full function in four to six weeks. He looked the man in the eye and cleared his throat before asking, "Did it work?"
The surgeon chuckled as he made his way over to the bed and replied, "We were successful."
Kelly didn't look convinced, so the surgeon continued, "You're only in the collar and the immobilizer until I can do one last nerve function check, and we give the PRP injections. All of the nerve testing we did while you were under anesthesia looked exactly like we wanted. We repaired the fracture in your C5 with a graft from your C6, and the nerves running through your right arm look great."
Kelly allowed himself to grin for the first time since waking and Shay squeezed his hand.
"I'll be back shortly for the exam and the injections, and then you can get out of that collar," the surgeon said, turning quickly to walk out.
Once the man had left the room, Kelly cut his eyes toward Shay.
"Translation?" he asked, knowing she understood a whole lot more about what had just been said than he did.
She rolled her eyes and put a hand on his left shoulder, "He said what I said, that everything went great."
"But the next part?" he asked.
"They used the blood you gave them before surgery to make PRP, platelet-rich plasma, and they're going to inject it around the surgical site to speed up healing," she explained.
She watched him take in the information and close his eyes.
"Are you hurting, Kelly? I can ask them for something for the pain before they start."
He tried to shake his head and winced.
"Don't be a hero," she deadpanned.
"I'm fine. No worse than the pain before the surgery," he answered, stoic.
She rolled her eyes again as the doctor returned, this time with a nurse behind him.
"We're just going to test your nerve function one more time now that you're awake, and then we can get on with the PRP," the surgeon explained, moving to the right side of the bed.
The nurse moved to Kelly's left side, holding a vial up. "Something for the pain before we get started," she said.
Kelly took his hand away and protested, "I'm fine."
The nurse looked from Kelly, to the surgeon, then to Shay, and put the vial back on the counter. "Let me know when you need something, Lieutenant," she said suspiciously.
It was only then that Shay realized why Kelly was declining the help, trying to muscle through without the narcotics. He had promised her that there would be no more pain medications, that he would never do that to her again. She took his hand.
"Severide, don't be stupid. Take the pain meds," she said softly.
Kelly wasn't a stranger to pain. He ran into burning buildings for a living and had been doing it with a broken neck for months. This wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He set his eyes on the wall in front of them, determined, and made it clear he was ignoring her request.
"Before we take everything off, can you wiggle your fingers on your right hand?" the surgeon asked.
Kelly concentrated on doing as he was told. Because of the collar, he couldn't see his fingers, but the burning sensation that instantly travelled from his shoulder through his hand, and the nodding from the nurse beside him, indicated that he'd been successful.
The nurse helped Severide lean forward and the surgeon took the collar off, then released his right arm from the strap around his chest. Severide sat up and did as the surgeon instructed, completing small tasks like extending his arm and moving his head from side to side. The pain was building, but Severide focused hard on the accomplishments, knowing that each one meant he was one step closer to getting back to Firehouse 51.
Finally, the surgeon stepped back and busied himself with the instruments on the rolling table beside him as he spoke, "Looks great, Kelly. Now you're just going to roll over onto your stomach, over this dome, and we'll get the injections done."
Kelly sighed as the nurse brought the domed pillow over to the bed and Shay pulled his sheets back.
"Move slowly," the surgeon warned.
Kelly, with Shay's assistance, managed to roll over and readjust himself in bed, draping his upper body over the dome and letting his arms fall over the sides. Shay switched positions with the doctor, letting him have access to Kelly's right side. As she moved over to the other side of the bed, Kelly turned his head toward her. His face was pale and there were beads of sweat on his forehead.
She took his left hand and wiped the sweat from his hairline before whispering to him, "Please take the pain meds."
Kelly took a deep breath before setting his jaw. "I'm fine," he said again.
She sighed, and he squeezed her hand quickly to reassure her. He felt surgeon open the back of his hospital gown and slowly remove the dressing from between his shoulders.
The nurse came to Shay's side of the bed and took his hand from her, injecting something into Kelly's IV quickly before he could protest.
"It's just something to help you relax," she said quickly. "It's standard."
Kelly turned his eyes back to Shay and she nodded reassuringly, taking his hand back from the nurse and squeezing again.
As the drugs started to take hold, he closed his eyes, the sounds of the surgeon behind him seeming a little more distant. He felt someone, maybe Shay, maybe the nurse, lift his head gently and turn it back into a straighter position over the dome so that when he opened his eyes, all he saw was the white sheet on the bed.
"You're going to feel a pinch and a burn a few times while I numb the area," the surgeon explained.
Kelly felt the small needles pierce his back, but he almost laughed to himself as the burning sensation the doctor warned about was a small fraction of the burning he'd dealt with every day since the accident.
While the doctor waited a few moments for the anesthetic to take effect, Kelly closed his eyes and enjoyed the carefree feeling of the drugs. The pain was there, but certainly farther away.
"Okay, Lieutenant, this is it. Two syringes, one on each side of your spine. You're going to feel slow pressure. Try your best not to move," the doctor said from behind him.
Kelly took a deep breath and set his stare on the sheet in front of him, making a conscious effort to relax his upper back and his arms. He didn't feel the needle, but as soon as the doctor pressed the plunger on the syringe, the pressure on his spine built quicker than he could adjust. His breathing hitched and tears immediately stung his eyes as he squeezed them shut.
"Breathe, Kelly…" he heard the nurse say.
He tried to gain control of the shallow, shaky breaths coming from his chest to no avail. He grit his teeth and cursed the monitor beside him as the beeping got faster, giving away his rising heart rate to everyone in the room.
Shay felt his muscles tense and moved closer, stroking his arm.
Kelly felt like someone was squeezing his neck from behind, trying to crush the bones in his spine. As the pressure grew, he tried to take a full breath, only to hear a groan escape his gritted teeth.
"That's it. The first one's done," Shay said in his ear, trying her best to encourage him. She stroked his hair before placing her hands firmly back on his shoulder, keeping him still.
"Breathe, Kelly. Are you ready to go again?" the surgeon asked, putting a hand on Kelly's right shoulder and gently pressing down, communicating to him that he needed to try to relax.
The pain wasn't building anymore, but it certainly hadn't subsided either. Shay leaned in close to his ear, "Sev, please…"
He knew she wanted consent for pain medication.
"Do it," Kelly choked out, giving the surgeon permission to continue and ignoring Shay's pleas.
"Take a deep breath," he was instructed. "Your heart rate is getting too high."
Severide forced himself to take a full breath in through his nose and brace himself for the second injection. He blinked his eyes, watching the tears drip off his face onto the bed below him, and firmly set his jaw again.
He didn't know how the pressure could get any more intense, but as the doctor started pressing the second plunger, he quickly found that he pain was spreading from his upper back down through his shoulders and arms. It took every ounce of strength to stay still, and he knew even then that he wasn't completely successful.
He tried stretching out his fingers on both hands, then quickly clenched his fists again, trapping handfuls of the bed sheet underneath him. He felt Shay pull the sheet from his left fist and replace it with her own hand, squeezing his tightly. His breathing turned to panting, quick, shallow breaths barely moving air. He started to turn his hips, desperate to bring his knees to his chest in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure spreading into his lower back. The nurse quickly put hands on both hips, pressing them firmly back into the bed and he moaned, a guttural noise he didn't even recognize.
Shay blinked back her own tears, watching her best friend squirm against them trying to find relief. She squeezed his hand and whispered, "Almost done. Just breathe."
Severide tried to take a breath and couldn't stop the low-toned yell into the bedsheet as the pain climaxed and spread through his body. Every muscle was tensed and he suddenly felt chilled from the layer of sweat that had broken out all over him. He heard the monitor beside him start to alarm, signaling his heart rate had reached an upper limit for the procedure.
"Lieutenant, that's it, we have to give you something," the nurse said from behind him, already drawing up the dose from the vial. He tried to protest, only to have his body betray him by letting out another moan.
Just as the nurse pushed the medication into his IV, the surgeon put a hand on the back of his head, "That's it. It's done."
He panted, trying to regain composure, embarrassed by his behavior. The pain medication almost immediately gave him just enough relief to gain control of his breathing. The pressure was still intense, but the pain was dulled slightly. He felt Shay help him turn his head back toward her and kept his eyes closed, concentrating on his breathing while she wiped the tears and the sweat from his face. He opened his eyes and met her gaze.
"She's going to give you more, Kelly, hang on…" she said softly, squeezing his arm.
"I'm—,"his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to talk through gritted teeth.
"You need it. You can't heal like this. You're too tense and in too much pain," she told him with more authority this time.
As the nurse administered the second drug, Kelly finally felt his eyes get heavy. Shay stroked his hair as he closed his eyes and she breathed a sigh of relief as she felt his muscles start to relax.