"Fweee-!" Barbara clapped her hands to her cheeks in an effort to make her mouth function. It almost worked. "Immawat?"

"Well," Erika said, "technically it's not popularity, really. Like, there's only so many of us, and it's not as if people are unpopular or hated per se, just—"

"Wait wait wait wait, wait!" Barbara waved her arms frantically. "I'm the most popular girl in school?"

"Uh, yeah?" Erika seemed legitimately confused. "Did you not know that?"

"No!" Barbara flushed a deeper shade of red. "W-why am I at the top?!"

"Good question." Amanda quipped. Hannah bopped her in the shoulder.

"I mean, you're super cute, so that helps a lot." Erika looked thoughtful.

"HUWAAAAH?!"

"Plus you have pretty good grades, you're nice, you're into Night Fall which is a big bonus among a lot of students…" Erika hummed. "I mean, there's lots of reasons. I can't speak for other people, you know."

Barbara floundered, metaphorically if not a touch literally. Usually when embarrassed, people's brains are said to "short circuit", but Barbara's brain didn't really short circuit so much as it did pop and deflate, slowly, like a balloon, leaving nothing but a sad, floppy, rubber shell behind.

Luckily, Diana had managed to come to terms with her own placement on the list (or at least bury and suppress her emotions on the subject, like a true Cavendish), and decided to speak up.

"Alright," Diana said, "I do believe this has gone on long enough. Regardless of your 'club' I have no intention of—"

"Hey, hey," Hannah interrupted, "how popular am I?"

Diana frowned. "This really isn't the time to—"

"Oh come on, Diana," Hannah waved her hand, "it's not that bad. Besides, everyone else got to hear their rank. I want to hear mine!"

"O-oh! Sure!" Erika smiled.

And smiled.

And smiled.

Hannah coughed.

"A-aren't you…" She hesitated. "…aren't you going to look?"

"U-um…" Erika stared at an interesting spot on the back wall. "W-well…"

"Come on already," Hannah huffed, "I don't care if it's bad. Just look up my name."

"O-oh, yes!" Erika bit her lip. "…um…?"

Hannah blinked and frowned.

"Y-you don't even know my name…?"

"I-I do!" Erika nodded vigorously in denial. "I-I totally do! Y-you're…um…"

Hannah smiled hopefully.

One of the other club members whispered rapidly into Erika's ear.

"O-oh! Right! I remember! You're Barbara's friend! Anna!"

"HANNAH!" Hannah exclaimed, her smile falling to pieces.

"Hannah! Yes!" Erika smiled cheerfully. "Hannah Australia!"

"ENGLAND!" Hannah half-sobbed. "THAT'S NOT EVEN THE SAME CONTINEEEENT!"

"I take it back, this is the funniest thing I have ever seen." Amanda grinned wildly.

Sucy stuck her knuckle into her mouth and bit down, fighting the urge to laugh uproariously.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?!"

"S-sorry," Erika waved her hands apologetically, "I-I didn't mean anything by it, just…well…"

"I'M WITH BARBARA ALL THE TIME!"

"Y-yes, but, well, people pay attention to Barbara and not—ooh, that came out wrong…"

Between Erika's failure at making the situation better, Amanda's stifled giggling, and Hannah's despondent blubbering, the conversation had risen to a din. Diana pinched the bridge of her nose.

"ENOUGH!" She shouted over the group. "This is exactly why I considered these clubs to be problematic. Hannah, are you okay?"

Hannah slumped over into one of the library chairs, her facial expression dead to the world and mumbling something about "all her work being for naught".

"I'm not sure if that's a yes, but…" Diana looked pointedly at Erika, "As far as your little club is concerned, regardless of this whole debacle, Akko is suffering a severe magical reaction—"

"So she is a child!" One of the club members shouted.

Diana sighed.

"—which has reverted her to childhood, yes."

A few of the club members let out a series of high-pitched squees.

"But…" Diana made a point to glare at the group. "This is not something to be proud of. We do not know how or why Akko was turned into a child, nor do we know how to change her back just yet. As such, you will refrain from…" She waved her hands to emphasize her point. "…drooling over her as you are now."

"But—" Erika began.

"No buts!" Diana huffed. "I will not have you making Akko uncomfortable, and we have already decided to avoid telling her about her predicament for the time being. Your presence would only complicate matters and serve to confuse the poor girl. Now return to class immediately. And be forewarned that I will be informing the professors of this little…popularity ranking business."

The club let out a series of disappointed noises, with one of them—Diana couldn't quite tell who—shouting "narc!" as they turned around and shuffled away. The last of them filtered out the door, shutting it quietly but firmly, as if they were angry but didn't want to damage the door by slamming it.

Diana let out a sigh of relief, pausing briefly to think.

The door creaked open and one of the club members stuck her head back in.

"Can we at least get pictures?"

"OUT!" Diana ordered, causing the club member to retreat.

Diana rubbed her eyes, alternating between sighing internally and sighing externally.

"O'Neill," she said, "please refrain from any outbursts."

Amanda mumbled a response, but it was muffled by her hand pressed up against her mouth.

Lotte cautiously crept her way towards the redheaded ragdoll currently slumped in the chair, the way one might approach a particularly skittish puppy.

"H-Hannah?" Lotte gently placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Are…are you okay?"

"GONE!" Hannah shouted and jerked upright, causing Lotte to jump back in surprise. "IZALLGONE! EVERYTHING I WORKED FOR, BYE-BYE, NO MORE!"

Her voice was cracking, warbling between notes at random.

"H-Hannah…" Barbara said.

"I could have handled being last," Hannah said as she leaned her head over the back of the chair, "I could have handled that. But they didn't even know my name?! WHYYYYYYY?!"

"You shouldn't worry about this kind of thing," Diana sighed, "it's merely a bunch of childish nonsense."

"Childish nonsense that I worked hard for!" Hannah shot back.

"…I'm going to assume that sounded better in your head." Diana folded her arms.

"I tried my best to be popular!" Hannah whined. "It's not fair! I rubbed elbows with the right people! I wore the right fashion! I'm next to Barbara all the time and I'm still not popular?!"

She bonked her head down on the table and sobbed loudly into the wood, covering her head with her hands.

"Was it the Night Fall? I tried getting into it, I swear, I just couldn't understand the part in the first book where they do the ritual at Stonehenge!"

"U-um," Lotte coughed, "t-that was the fourth book."

"AW, COME ON!"

"H-Hannah…" Barbara put a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's okay. It doesn't matter how popular you are, we're still your friends. I'm still your friend."

Hannah sniffled and glanced up. Barbara smiled gently.

"I'll always be your friend," she said, "does that make you feel better?"

Hannah smiled warmly, looking Barbara deep in the eyes and absorbing the compassion that radiated from her expression. She took a deep breath through her nose.

"Not really, no." Hannah said, and promptly collapsed back onto the table, incoherently blubbering something about her social life being over.

Barbara winced and frowned at the display, unsure of how to proceed.

"Don't bother with this foolishness," Diana huffed in annoyance, "she'll get over it."

"Yeah," Amanda snorted, "but until then we have to listen to it."

A short while later, the library door creaked open once again.

"Sorry we took so long…" Jasminka's hushed voice was barely audible, but clear and crisp. She walked in, carrying an apparently exhausted Akko over her shoulder. "Akko spotted one of the janitor goblins and chased after them, only for her to get distracted by a different fairy and—"

Jasminka blinked, digesting the scene before her in her mind.

"Did…we miss something?" She tilted her head.

Hannah continued to sob quietly into the table.