{Hey guys here is another one. Keep in mind there is a lot of flashbacks in it and they were taken from previous chapters. They are in bold so if you don't feel like reading them, I understand. I don't own anything to do with Batman or Suicide Squad only my own characters and anything you do not recognize.}

It had been a couple weeks since I woke up. The strange man never came back so it came as a surprise to me when Jack and Frost came to get me. It was a surprise because they told me they were taking me home. I had no idea what home was to me anymore but, they told me it was the home that the boss and I lived in. I thought back to the strange man with the green hair and tattoos. In truth he scared me but, for whatever reason I felt a strange attraction to him. It was like my body and my heart felt warm and safe when I saw him. When I hadn't seen him in the last two weeks, I felt lonely. I stared in awe at what was to be my home and I was amazed; it was like a mansion! I followed behind Frost into the house and when we walked in, I noticed how eerily quiet it was. Jack walked by with a bag for me and started to walk up the stairs. I watched him for a minute as I stood very still in a foreign place. He stopped and looked back at me with sympathy before looking to Frost who stood beside me. Frost put a hand on my back and gave me a slight push forward. I realized I was meant to follow Jack so I with hesitation I started to walk up the stairs. I followed him up the stairs and past a couple doors before he walked into a room. I assumed this was my bedroom as I walked past him to the huge bed that looked like I would just sink into it.

Jack cleared his throat as he set my bag on the ground. "Boss should be home soon but, for now just relax and there is a bathroom if you would like to shower."

I nodded my head at him and after giving me a tight smile he walked out of the room closing the door behind him. At first, I didn't really know what to do, I started to let my eyes wander around the room. I began to walk past a wardrobe that contained my clothes as I let my hand run across them. My hands stopped on a beautiful dress, it had some ruffles on the bottom and long sleeves in a beautiful teal colour. I pulled it from the closet before looking at the clothes I was wearing. I noticed how dirty I looked and decided a shower wouldn't be a horrible idea. After I closed the door to the bathroom, I placed the dress down and put my hands on the counter and leaned against it. I took a deep breathe and looked at my reflection. They say your reflection is of your true self and that its also a reflection of your soul. But when I remembered the first time, I saw my reflection after waking up and even now it's the same. I don't recognize the person staring back at me and it wasn't just the tattoos that seems foreign to me but, I don't know who I am.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in and I pushed away from the counter before going to the shower and starting it. I started stripping my clothes and I removed the bandage that still covered the cut on my head. As soon as I stepped in and the hot water began running over my body, I let out a pleasurable sigh. I could feel my muscles unwind and all the tension in my body leave me. It was needless to say amazing. I stayed in the shower until the water ran cold and I choose to step out and get dressed in the beautiful dress. It was tight fitting showing my curves and my long legs. When I was sure that I was entirely happy with my look I walked out to the bedroom again. What I wasn't expecting was for Mr. J to be standing in the room, I hadn't heard anyone came in and I didn't know how to react. He had a wide grin on his face, and he opened his arms wide as he began to take slow calculated steps towards me.

I began to look around the room as I twiddled with my fingers. "My, my, my kitten," his voice traveled across the room, "Did you dress up for little old me?"

I gave him a small smile that I couldn't seem to control when I watched him. But I didn't have an answer to his question because I didn't really know why I choose this dress. As he walked towards me, I was taking steps back until my back hit the wall. He dropped his hands to my waist and his face came closer to me. "Kitten?" his voice was low as if being really cautious with me but, then he began to purr as he placed his face into my neck, "This dress…it is ravishing on you."

He began to place light and sensual kisses on my neck, and I began to feel my heart race. I bit my lip as pleasure coursed through my body immediately reacting to him. His hands began to go lower down my thighs and began to push up my dress. He growled as he bit harder and his hands grabbed onto my ass and he pushed me up the wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist. But I couldn't focus anymore, and I let out a gasp not in response to him but, something began to happen to me.

I saw Mr. J on top of me, pinning me down with a wide smile on his face. "Was this what ya felt when he pinned you down?"

I was confused "What?"

"You heard me kitten, I know your secret," he sing songed, "You lied to me! You told me that ya have never killed before but that was a lie. So once more is this what ya felt when your life was in his hands. When he killed your parents, and no one was there to save you." And he placed a knife against my throat

My heart raced as the flashbacks began to flood my mind. My head hurt and I didn't know what to do, I froze. Even though J continued to kiss me and rub against me.

A man and a woman ran around a small apartment in an obvious panic. The woman picked me up and ran a little girl to a small room placing her in a closet. "Stay quiet, do not make a sound until I come back for you." She spoke quickly and in a hushed voice

Tears streamed down her face and she hugged her knees to her chest ignoring the strands of blonde hair that dropped into her face. Her mother's screams echoed in the room before the bedroom door was opened.

The little girl's hands covered her mouth in a tight grasp trying to control her breathing. Her continuous stream of tears slipped between the cracks of her fingers. She wouldn't make a sound, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was run out to her parents and cry. Fear coursed through her blood as she watched the dark silhouette of the man walked through the room. She watched as he stood by the bed and rolled his shoulders, "Little pig, little pig let me in," his voice came out as an amused laughter

J removed my underwear and I began to wiggle in his grip, "Let go." My voice came out in a whisper

The same little girl was now on the ground with a man twice her size above her with a gun to her face and an image of a bat behind him. he pulled the trigger she managed to shove it away from her face sending it crashing to the floor. She tried to fight and move away, she tried to hold back the tears as his hands wrapped around her neck and began to squeeze. Her eyes focusing on the light as she grasped at his hands gasping for air. Her breathing was becoming more rapid and her vision blurry and just as she was about to give up, she felt the gun he had drop wrap around her hand. She had no knowledge of how to use a gun and pull the trigger four times in his face, neck and chest.

"Peyton!" J voice brought me back

He held my face in his hands as he looked at me worried. But as soothing as his eyes could make me feel I couldn't help the suffocating feeling I felt in my chest. I began to wiggle harder and shove him harder. "Get away from me!" I shouted

My hand swung out and connected with his face and he dropped me. "What the fuck Peyton!" J shouted

I didn't stay to listen. I ran, I had no idea where I was going but, I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I ended up running into another room and I shut the door and locked it. I stared at the door trying to get my breathing under control. A slam sounded through the room, "Peyton open the door!" J booming voice came through the door.

I placed my hands over my eyes and tried to get my breathing under control. But what I could assume was my memories just wouldn't stop.

J was on top of me, both of us naked and he was nipping at my ear, and my arms wrapped around his back and I whispered in his ear, "Harder J."

He did what I said, and I bit my lip in pleasure and wrapped my legs around his waist so I could meet his thrusts. I could feel my stomach tightening, and J began to pick up his pace. I began to whisper his name in pleasure. "Cum for me baby, I want to hear you scream." He said huskily

He went faster and harder into me and as I found my release and screamed his name. Shortly after he stilled and spilled into me. We didn't move at first as we tried to catch our breath. I was the first to let go as he rolled over onto his side. He pulled me closer to his chest, and as I laid there, my eyes grew heavy. "Sleep my queen because starting tomorrow we will wreak havoc on our city."

"We will be gods, "I muttered before I let sleep consume me

On top of all the emotions I was feeling my head started to hurt and I groaned in agony. J continue to hit the door calling out for me. I grabbed my hair and squinted as I looked around the room, I was in. I took notice of the weapons that surrounded me, "What the fuck." My voice came out in a gasp

I was in a wheelchair in a big dark room with a table and what appeared to be a phycologist across from me. I leaned forward on my knee a little more a dangerous smile rising on my face, "I know your secrets or more specifically your dirty little secrets. You want to know about Mr. J huh? Well you know very well I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is there is man out there, a man that is very dangerous but is so dangerous that it is so thrilling to be near him. To be touched by him, kissed by him...even just to be looked at by him makes you curl your toes with pleasure. Its electrifying but you wanna know something else about him?"

I watched as she licked her lips in anticipation, "He isn't yours to have!" I yelled suddenly as I pushed off the chair

The doctor was so shocked at my sudden action she didn't even have time to react as I shoved her to the floor. Her body froze under me and I could hear the guards storming into the room but not before I leaned into her ear, "My life is mine to live and not you not the fucking police will keep me from living it."

As the guards pulled me away, I licked her from the bottom of her jaw to just below her ear. I felt her cringe from underneath me and I rejoiced with the feeling of power over her. Laughter exploded around the room as I was roughly pulled off the doctor and slammed against the floor.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I felt completely out of control. "S-s-stop." I whispered

I was skipping down a hall with J among others behind me. As I was consumed with my thoughts, I could hear my name being faintly called from behind me. Whoever it was sounded panicked. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face the group, to see J rushing towards me and not only Frost's and Jack's guns raised but the groups behind me. Before I could turn around to see what they were all talking about, I felt a sudden and immense pain from the back of my head. My body gave way and I could barely hear the guns that were being shot at someone behind me. My body was heavy and my vision blurry. I could barely feel when J managed to grab me before I hit the floor. I tried to blink away the tears to look at J. From what I could tell was he was trying so desperately to speak to me. To tell me something but I just couldn't hear it. His hand came into my vision and I could see red all over it. What happened? What was going on?

I tried to lift my hand, but it was so hard. "J?" My voice came out with a crack before I could hold on any longer and I allowed my eyelids to close.

Just as the door broke open behind me, I fell to the ground on my knees. "Stop!" I screamed as loud as I could

And they did stop but, it was followed by darkness.

~~MR.J~~

(J p.o.v.)

When I saw Peyton in that sexy dress it took everything in me not to rip it off right away. My kitten wasn't feisty like she used to be, she was like a scared doe and I had to be careful. What I didn't take into account was how she would react. At first it was good, her body molded to mine just perfectly and she reacted well to me in that moment. But just as wonderful that moment was it ended just as quickly. Her body went rigid against me and when I stopped to look at her, she looked in pain. I didn't like to see her in pain, it made me feel things I wasn't used to. But, then again, she always seems to make me feel things I didn't know about.

I tried to be gentle which was not me. I tried to get her to come back to me but, all I got was a slap to the face. I didn't know how to react at first. Should I react in anger? But before I could really do anything she had taken off. I chased after her as she ran into my weapon room and locked herself in. I slammed my fists against the door, as angry as I wanted to be, I was reacting over worry. I couldn't see her, I couldn't know that she was safe. I was frustrated but the sounds I wanted to come out of my mouth were growls and shouts. I knew I was probably scaring her more then helping. I heard footsteps behind me, and I saw Jack looking between me and the door. "Boss?"

I began to slam my body against my door. "Peyton's in there. Something's wrong." Was all I could get out between the impact of my body against the door.

"Where is the key?" Jack said trying the doorknob

"Ya think I didn't think of that idiot!" I shouted at him as I pushed him into the wall behind him. I was seething now my body rising and falling in reaction, "I haven't had the key for two years." I mumbled as I continued to slam against the door

She was so quiet in there, "Peyton!" Jake and I yelled at the same time

"Fuck it." I had no more patience

I pulled out my gun and aimed at the door and shot my gun a couple times. Then I shot my foot out as hard as I could. The door swung open just as Peyton's screams filled our house. I watched as she collapsed on the floor, I ran up to her my thoughts racing to when she had been hit in the head, it was like déjà vu. I rolled her body in my lap to make sure she was okay but, it looked like she had just fainted. I pushed some hair from her face ignoring the fact that Jack was watching us. I just wanted to focus on her. I knew there was one thing that I had to do, really the only thing I could do. I didn't want to hurt her and what just happened was a good sign that I was. I knew what I had to do. I picked her up as gently as I could. I turned to face Jack again. "Go get the car, pack her stuff. She needs to be safe and I will make sure she is." I ordered as calmly as I could my eyes never leaving her calm face.

(End of J p.o.v.)

4 weeks later

I sat in my windowsill watching the night life of the city. My memories had slowly been coming back but, I still had gaps. It frustrated me to no end, I didn't feel like myself I was missing a huge portion of my personality. I sighed as I looked to the moon for the answers, I desperately wanted like I did every night. After what happened at the house J put me up in a penthouse glass apartment. It was really fancy and honestly to big for me. But at least I had Jack, he rarely left me alone unless he needed to leave either for J or to pick me up something. I looked across the room to the box that was sitting on my bed. When I had woken up here, it was there with a letter on top. I remembered reading it and as I looked at the box after I've been scared to open it. I looked to my hand were the letter rest loosely in my hand. I opened and read through it again.

Peyton my love. I am at a loss and I hope you understand. I can't watch you in pain anymore. When you are ready, I have left a box with a surprise. I hope one day we will meet again but, you will want for nothing my Queen.

Since I had been here, I had heard of the destruction he had been causing. It had increasingly gotten worse as of late. When I would ask Jack about it, he brushed me off saying it was his way of handling things. I looked to the box again and I dropped the paper from my fingers. I walked up to the box and picked it up as I inspected it. Why was I scared of a box, it is a box a square wooden box? I felt silly. I took a deep breath and opened the box not taking a second to regret the decision like I had done so many times before. Inside the box was two items. One was an outfit, one that became very familiar it was a green bikini top and sparkling green shorts with a fabric that was almost like a deep purple cape that was sewn into the back of the shorts.

I picked it up and inspected it but, as I saw what was underneath it, I dropped the outfit. I grabbed it from the box and held it in one hand. It unraveled in my hand and I stared at the whip as I ran my fingers along the textured material. That's when it happened, the memories flooded fast. All of them. The box slipped from my fingers and hit the ground-breaking apart.

J and I stood a little distance away from each other as I stared at him. Instead of how playful he was the other night with me, his serious and angry face did not change. He seemed to be staring at my body and I looked behind me to make sure no one was behind me. When I saw no one, I smiled at him and bounded towards him. I slipped onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Earth to Mister J?"

His eyes didn't leave mine but, when I placed myself in his lap it seemed that his body relaxed a little. But that couldn't be possible right? Ha, it had to be something my mind made up. His hand gripped my hip and he nipped at my ear suddenly. "Did that asshole do this to you?"

We both knew who he was talking about and at that moment I wanted to shrink into a corner and hide. I had completely forgotten about my back. His fingers caressed my skin on my back, and I suppressed a shiver. His light touch was almost like it was taking away the pain. But, me being as stubborn as I am, I quickly slipped off his lap and spun around into my kitchen, "I was thinking of making something to eat any requests?"

He didn't answer me, and a small squeak escaped my lips as he pushed me into the counter so that I was bent over it. He was leaning over me, so his groin was pressed into my back side. One handheld my neck so I wouldn't move while the other continued to caress my back. As his hand got closer to where it was the worst he growled and pushed harder into me. "Answer me." he ordered

"Yes, I disobeyed him so therefore I get punished. Is that what you want to hear? I am sure you've done it too." I spat back

(End of flashback)

This time we were in the club both of us facing each other as everyone else stared at us in apprehension. J raised his arms in the air and loomed over me. My stomach knotted with the pleasure I was roused with seeing his attempt to intimidate me, "I gave you your freedom and I can take it away! If I want to find pleasure with other woman I will! If I want to kill people, I will! If I choose to take you I will, and you want to know why?" He stepped towards me and his hand hovered over my face, "Because I am me, I am the most feared man in all of Gotham and you will not change that."

I shoved him away from me and began to poke at him after every statement I began to make, "You do not own me! I am free whether you like it or not! I can kiss who I want, fuck who I want do whatever the fuck I want! You can't lock me away and you can't treat me like a piece of shit you scrapped off your shoe! I am better than that! You don't own me, you don't claim me and if you do then your mine and no one, not even that hussy can touch you!"

The most animalistic growl I had heard escaped his mouth and he pushed me quickly and hard into a wall. I shut my eyes for a second from the pain and when I looked up, I saw a gun pointed directly at me. At first, I hesitated, this game wasn't supposed to go to this extent, I just wanted his attention. But I wasn't someone's property especially when he was not my lover. I wasn't going to back down, if he was going to shoot me, he would whether I had something to say or not. "What are you going to do J huh? Shoot me? Then do it," I pressed into the gun and glared at him, "Then do it, what are you waiting for!"

I heard the gun click as the safety was removed and I shut my eyes as he yelled prepared for the bullet to pierce my skin.

(End of Flashback)

I closed my eyes as I realized that in his own silly way, he would be opening up to me. Would it be so bad that one person would know the secret that I had held onto since that night? So, I would answer his dangerous question, "I felt…I felt powerless, angered, betrayed at first but, then I realized I had survived. I had no family, the bat didn't come to save me, and I had just killed a man. I then felt like the strongest person in that moment and," I opened my eyes to meet his as I admitted the biggest secret of all, the whole reason I had built my special little world, "I liked it. I liked the feeling of his blood on me and that I had taken his life. I felt more free in that moment than I had in my whole life before I meet you."

With every sentence his eyes grew wide and excited and playful. She knew in that moment that he would never let her go and she would never want to. "Good girl! Now," He said as he jumped away from me and began to push me quickly to the edge. I almost had to stop myself from falling over the edge, if he had managed to push me off I would be swimming in a bath of ACE chemicals as the tub read, "My secret is that, that is what made me. It saved me and one day it will save you to."

I looked over at him alarmed, what was that supposed to mean. "One day I want to share everything with you but not until you learn to concur that." He explained as he pointed at my eyes

I squinted in confusion, "I don't understand?"

"Fear my dear Peyton, its fear. Trust me when I say that everything you want is on the other side of fear."

I looked down at the tub of chemicals with curiosity and interest. One day I would be like him.

He cupped my face and brought his lips to mine. "You're my queen." He mumbled against mine

"And you're my king." I mumbled against his.

This time I didn't pass out. But I finally found it. The piece of me that I was missing. "Pey?" Jack's voice came behind me

I assumed that the loud sound the box made as it crashed on the floor. But I couldn't care at that moment. My arms fell to my side and I took a big deep breathe. My head fell back, and a giant smile overtook my face. I raised my hands slightly to the side and I began to giggle. That giggle turned into a loud laugh. I had a big plan to make my entrance back into the world. One that involved J's club and a nice long bath.

"Jack get the car."

I just wanted to start off by thanking.

Heather- Here is another one thank you for your reviews, I know it isn't what you thought but the next one will be good

Riddicks-gurl1988- Im glad you enjoyed that I didn't want to drag it on to long and I hope it lived up to what you expected. I didn't want J to abandon her, but I couldn't let it be to easy

8goose8- I know that the whole lost memory thing can be overdone sometimes I am glad that you enjoyed it thought

Jen The End- Yay! I am glad

beth626- A perfect balance. I find Harley entices it where Peyton is his mate and his equal. Someone to balance him

orangeporqupine- The thing is their reality is twisted it isn't so much that she saw him reaching for her but, that she felt abandoned and betrayed if that makes sense. But, from the sounds of it you like it, so I hope you continue to like it

I also want to thank everyone that has favorite since the last update and continues to do so.

snowwhitealice, 8goose8, Scatha-Bastet, death-becomes-her3, Alexandria139, Super20464, Potatis02, MayumiLaufeyson, , Sammywammy5, AnaBananaxx3, BeatriceSmith-2, brittany2010, beth626, blushingpixie, Jmah0ca, Kat-Chan711, angelvoice15, BitterSweetG, Dreamreader13, Jadeamelia, Girloveshugs, xxwhiskey13xx, samanthakahlo, HawaiiRiri, Angharad83, detripdoktor, Lady El Bass, Idon'tknowwhatIamdoing.1

I also want to thank everyone that has followed since the last update and continues to do so;

hjkayla40, snowwhitealice, gilmorefreak23, KleinemauZzZ, Scatha-Bastet, Sigma Em, death-becomes-her3, Alexandria139, Super20464, Superwholock881, CaliGirl17, Potatis02, Random2Friends, dreamsmadereality, MayumiLaufeyson, , dreaminggirllivi2, TweetieT, UltimateYaoiAddict, BeatriceSmith-2, brittany2010, beth626, Loverinthelibrary, blushingpixie, Jmah0ca, Kat-Chan711, angelvoice15, BitterSweetG, Dreamreader13, Jadeamelia, Girloveshugs, samanthakahlo, , Linamarie96, iWasDamned

UNTIL NEXT TIME!