{Hey guys, I am back. I know it has been a long time but, life has been insane. I wanted to update this because it is one of my more popular stories and one that I have so many ideas for. I couldn't stop writing this chapter, so I am so excited to put this out. I didn't have time to edit but, I wanted everyone to read this and I will edit later. I hope everyone enjoys. As always, I don't own anything to do with suicide squad or batman. I also do not own the song in this that is Without me by Halsey.

I also just want to make everyone aware that at the end it is sexual so if it makes you uncomfortable you can skip it.}

My fingers ran across the many different fabrics in the one of the many stores that J owned. And by owned, I mean ruled by fear. Once I walked in the girl behind the counter instantly dropped her phone and cleared out the store for me. She looked nervous as she stood beside me with an arm full of clothes that I had chosen as I toured the store. I looked over to Jack who was standing at the door watching me with curiosity. I had yet to actually tell him what we were doing but, I would…. later. I knew his opinion on mine and J's relationship and I am sure that since the accident he was secretly hoping that I wouldn't go back. Not because he didn't want to see me happy but, he worried about me almost like an older brother I guess you could say. I looked back to the rack in front of me and my eye caught another perfect outfit and I smiled widely as I grabbed it and passed it to the girl who was still looking at me nervously. I stepped forward to pass it to her, "Don't be so nervous darling, I will be gone soon enough and then you can get back to whatever boy toy you were talking to," I whispered in her ear as I leaned forward, "Wanna get me a room now?"

She instantly turned three different shades of pink on her cheeks but, did what I asked and whisked me into a room. I tried on at least twenty different outfits but, nothing was working. This outfit needed to be perfect and none of these seemed to scream 'I'm back!' so I sat on the floor and let out a frustrated groan as I let my head rest on the mirror behind me. After a few minutes and hesitant knock came to the wall beside my curtain that separated me from the store. "I am sorry to disturb you Miss Peyton but, I think I may have found the outfit you are looking for." The young women's voice came through the curtain

I sat up and pushed the curtain open, not caring if she saw me in my underwear. I gave her an unimpressed look and held out my hand, "You better hope it does because I am about to burn this store to the ground."

She hurriedly passed it to me, and I closed the curtain. I slipped it on and once I had tied it behind me, I turned towards the mirror. My jaw dropped as I admired my reflection. This was it, this was the dress. It was a deep red it had a deep v that stopped just above my belly button and the fabric that covered my breast as stopped just above my collarbone where it was met with the string that tied it just behind my hair. The bottom of the dress came down to my feet in a flow of fabric but, it also had a slit up the left side so, if I had stuck my leg out it would stop at mid thigh. The back of the dress was open until my tailbone. It not only complimented my body but, it also complimented each tattoo on my body. It was elegant but sexy and I was in love. Another knock came to the room, "Um Miss Peyton, how does it fit?" She asked

I spun fast and opened the curtain placing my hand on my hip as I stared at her as if I were extremely unpleased. She looked even more nervous, if that was even possible, the longer I stared at her. As I watched her squirm I began to laugh, which seemed to put her at ease. "Good. You did good. Shoes." It was all she was getting

But she got the hint and instantly darted off to the right corner of the store and quickly returned with a pair of black strappy stilettos. I sat down on the couch and began to put on my shoes. I took one more look in the mirror and became giddy with excitement. All that was left was my hair, I began to take my hair out of the bun I had placed it in earlier and let my long hair flow down my back in its natural waves. Once I was happy with my look, I turned to look at the girl again. "So?" I raised an eyebrow as I looked at her expectantly

Her eyes lit up and she smiled, "You look gorgeous…like you're going to make a grand entrance." She still seemed nervous as she answered me

I smiled at her as I reached over for my purse that I had thrown on the couch when I walked in earlier. I knew I didn't have to pay a dime for any of these but, she did good and she deserved a reward. I pulled out five-hundred-dollar bills and passed it to her. She seemed hesitant to take it. "Oh, you don't pay for these Miss Peyton." She shook her head to decline the cash.

I sighed as I placed my purse back down, I then grabbed her hand and shoved the cash into it. "Its for you, without you I wouldn't have found this amazing dress. Keep it up because I will be back, and I expect you to be here again. Don't make me change my mind because when I change my mind, I tend to be drastic."

She pulled her hand away with the cash in it as she nodded. With that taken care of I picked up my purse and began to walk towards the door the Jack was holding open. "Thank you for your business Miss Peyton, good luck tonight with wherever you're going." She called after me

As I reached the doorway, I smiled widely at her, "Sweetheart, I am not the one you should be wishing luck to."

Jack followed me back to the car and held the back door for me and helped me into the car so I wouldn't get my new dress dirty. Jack still remained quite as he drove to the club J was at tonight. I stared out at the passing city light thinking back to the news articles about the havoc he had been causing lately. He sent me away to stop me from being in pain but, he did so even though he was in just as much pain. We have never said I love you, it's a feeling neither of us were familiar with but…I was starting to wonder if we were just in denial because I knew that I was in love with him. Once J had spoken to me about fear and I was starting to wonder if we were both fearful of admitting how we truly felt about one another. "So, are you going to tell me what you are doing yet?" Jacks voice pulled my attention to him

Our eyes connected in the rear-view mirror and I bit my lip in anticipation. "I want him to know I am back and that I remember everything. But you know me I can't make everything easy. Its not just him, people have been talking. Some people say I have died, some people think we are not together and other think I ran away. I want everyone to know I am here to stay."

Silence filled the car again, "Why go back to him…you had a clean get away." Jack asked

I almost didn't hear him he said it so quiet. I took in his body posture which seemed rigid. So, I was right he was hoping I wouldn't go back. "I love him Jack. He gets me, we are the same person and I feel empty without him. You know everything he has been doing lately even you have said he seems worse then normal. Have you wondered why? Because he is in pain…I am in pain and I don't want him to be in pain anymore. We have been through this before Jack I know you worry but, with you by my side what could ever happen?"

He pursed his lips but didn't say anything back. He knows very well that we would just go around in circles if he argued back. Once I set my mind on something, I would never change it. Not to long after he pulled up to the back of the club. "Jack, I need you to do something. Make sure he is in his lounge and doesn't come down. I also need you to make sure the stage is empty and once I tell you I need you to turn the light off. Wait until the first course before turning the lights back on. But Jack makes sure he is watching." I instructed

He nodded his head and got out of his side before helping me once more out of the car. "Are you sure about this, I can always turn around…he would never know." He asked me

I genuinely smiled at him and placed a hand softly on his cheek, "I am sure, thank you," I leaned forward and kissed him softly on the cheek before I pulled back and gathered my dress in my fingers, "Now go quickly."

After he walked in, I peaked into the hallway and saw no one and then I looked the stairs on my left as I watched Jack disappear up them. Once I felt I was safe I walked quickly through the hallways until I got to the backstage. I stood beside the DJ for a moment as I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "When the lights go out give me two minutes before you play this."

He took the disk from me and then looked up at me before smiling back at me, "Welcome back."

As I walked towards the curtain the singer for the night began to storm off the stage as she was shooed off by one of the many men that J had throughout the bar. As she saw me her angry look instantly turned into shame and shock. I smiled at her as I placed my finger to my lips. She quickly walked past me, and I peaked through the curtain to the windows at the top of the room where I knew he would be. My heart raced as I caught a glimpse of him, seeming to be yelling at someone, typical. My hands began to shake as my nerves finally set in. I stared at them for a minute curiously before I gave them a few shakes. I grabbed my phone from my purse and texted Jack that I was ready. I placed my phone back in my purse and shoved it onto a shelf as smoothed out my dress waiting for the lights to go out.

Once the lights went out, murmurs of confusion settled among the crowd instead of the laughter and cheering that was in place before. I took a big deep breathe in before I walked out onto the stage. I was careful as I walked to the mic stand in the middle of the stage. I adjusted it to be my height and closed my eyes as I waited for the music to begin. I looked up to where the only light in the place was which was where J's room was. He was looked around with caution almost expecting something that would go bump in the night. I smiled as I realized I was what went bump in the night and in this moment, I just hoped that J missed me as much as I missed him. I wanted him to want me back and I wanted this night to be special. As the music began to play, I took one more deep breathe as I settled my hands on the base of the mic. I closed my eyes as the last image I saw was J watching the stage in curiosity, "Found you when your heart was broke. I filled your cup until it overflowed. Took it so far to keep you close. I was afraid to leave you on your own. I said I'd catch you if you fall. And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all. And then I got you off your knees. Put you right back on your feet. Just so you could take advantage of me. Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there. Feeling so high but too far away to hold me. You know I'm the one who put you up there. Name in the sky. Does it ever get lonely? Thinking you could live without me. Thinking you could live without me. Baby, I'm the one who put you up there. I don't know why. Thinking you could live without me. Live without me. Baby, I'm the one who put you up there. I don't know why."

As I let my voice trail off the light began to turn on. Just before I began to sing the next note, I opened my eyes. The crowd was no longer moving, and everyone was shocked to see me. But that was not who I noticed. Mine and J's eyes locked and as I continued to sing, I wanted him to know that I was me again, "Gave love 'bout a hundred tries. Just running from the demons in your mind. Then I took yours and made 'em mine. I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind, "I raised my hand out as if I were catching something in the palm of my hand, "Said I'd catch you if you fall. And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all, "I then made a cutting motion with the same hand before I made a cup motion with it and began to move my hand up with my palm up, "And then I got you off your knees. Put you right back on your feet. Just so you can take advantage of me." J was the first one to break eye contact

He turned quickly on his feet and shoved his cane into Frost's hands before he disappeared from view. I kept singing knowing exactly where he was going and I only had a minute at most, "Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there. Feeling so high but too far away to hold me. You know I'm the one who put you up there. Name in the sky. Does it ever get lonely? Thinking you could live without me. Thinking you could live without me. Baby, I'm the one who put you up there. I don't know why. Thinking you could live without me. Live without me. Baby, I'm the one who put you up there
I don't know why, yeah."

Just as I finished the second course, I saw a flash of green move past the backstage curtain. I pulled the mic from the stand and turned to face him. It had been so long since I had seen him that I felt like it was a dream. My heart was racing a hundred miles an hour. He looked so handsome in his suit and I assumed he just finished a meeting. He had on a deep purple suit with a white button up underneath. He had it buttoned only until his rib cage so you could glimpse his tattooed skin underneath. His hair seemed like he had been running his fingers through it for hours. He only did that when he was stressed and for as hopeful and excited as he seemed in that moment. I could see the pain in his eyes and the worry, I could see what my absence had done to him. So, as I prepared to sing the last part, I took a step to meet him halfway. We stood so close but, not touching almost worried that whoever moved first would break. "You don't have to say just what you did. I already know. I had to go and find out from them. So, tell me how's it feels. Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there. Feeling so high but too far away to hold me. You know I'm the one who put you up there. Name in the sky. Does it ever get lonely, "Neither of still hadn't moved and I choose to be the person who would. For as much as J put on this scary insane persona with me, he could be vulnerable. I reached forward and placed a hand on his cheek. That's all that it took, His one hand grasped my hip and pulled me into him while his other hand grasped my chin as he rested his forehead against mine, "Thinking you could live without me. Thinking you could live without me. Baby, I'm the one who put you up there. I don't know why."

I felt so right in this moment and it was like we were the only two people in existence. I kept my hand on his cheek but, I dropped the mic so that I could place hand on his chest. "You're here." He whispered as if he still couldn't believe that I was here in front of him, touching him

"Im here." I confirmed

He began to laugh and in reaction to his infection laugh, I smiled at him and tilted my head. He took the hint and plant a kiss on my lips. He lips were rough and I knew he had been chewing on them. When he was stressed or worried it was a habit, he thought no one else noticed but, I did it. His lips formed with mine and his hand on my hip grasped me harder as his other hand moved from my chin to my hair where he grasped my hair lightly. We were so focused on the moment neither of us thought we would share again that we forgot about our audience. That was until an eruption of cheering filled the once quiet room. We turned to look among his customers, and I had a grin that went ear to ear. I was so happy and content and as I peered at J, he seemed to feel the same as me. I leaned up to whisper in his ear, "Let's get out of here, unless you're to busy?"

I pulled away to look at him and I giggled at the look of excitement in his eyes. I grabbed the mic from the ground and spoke, "Free round on the house cuz' I am back bitches!"

More cheers spread throughout the club and I placed the mic back in its place. I turned and grabbed J's hand in mine and in the other I grasped my dress before I began to drag J through the hallways to the back door. Jack was standing there waiting with the keys to the car dangling from his fingers. I grasped them fast and gave him a thankful look before I continued on the way to the car. I let go of his hand as I began to make my way to the driver's side. "Where do you think your going kitten. I am driving." He said to me as he tried to grab the key.

I quickly pulled my hand from his grasp and moved fast around the car, "No, I want you to take you somewhere special so get in."

I gave me an inquisitive look but, got into the car without an argument. I got into the driver's seat and reached into the back. I pulled out a blindfold and passed it to him. He took it and laughed, "Kinky."

"Just put it on."

He did what I asked and slipped it on. To make sure that he wasn't cheating I waved my hand in front of his face. When he didn't react, I turned the ignition over and began to drive. "When did you get your memories back?" He asked as I drove

"Maybe three or four hours ago."

"And you're just telling me now?" he sounded slightly irritated

"Where is the fun in that." I giggled in reply

He didn't answer just laughed along with me. Within twenty minutes we were at the destination. "Can I take this off now?" He asked as I turned the car off

"No…not yet." I quickly hoped out of the car before I ran over to his side, guiding him out of his seat.

I grasped his hand in mine, "Do you trust me?"

It was a heavy one that once again we never truly asked. Sure, we joked about it but, we were never asking in a serious manner. He seemed to hesitate, "Yes." He said no hint of a joke he was serious

"Good."

I began to pull him along through each floor and stairs until I got to a familiar place. I guided him almost to the edge and I let go of his hand and stepped back. "Okay you can take it off." I told him as I clasped my hands behind my back.

He took it off as fast as he could and the excitement in his eyes seemed to have grown as he took in his surroundings. "You brought me here once and you told me that this place saved you. I told you what made me. We have something in common with both moments in our life do you know what that is?" I asked

"What?" He asked genuinely curious

"Freedom. We both gained our freedom," I turned to face the acid bath and I smiled, "This is also the place where we shared our first secrets…Can I tell you something?"

"Always." His voice sounded closer than before but, I knew he was still watching me from a distance

"J I would like live for you. Normal people would say die but, I would never die for you, I would live for you. Death is a part of life but, if I died and you died with me, I would roll over in my grave. I want you to live for the both of us as I would live for you. You have caused so much careless havoc in the past month as I lost my memory," I looked over my shoulder at him, "Would you say that you lived for me?"

It took him a moment to answer, "No, I was upset-"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk that is not what I asked nor what I want," I faced the bath again, "There are so many things I have not told you and with everything that has happened this past while…well when I woke up, I realized how much regret I held. I regretted not telling you that I truly love you, I regretted that I didn't tell you to live for me and not die, I regretted not telling you that I want to spend my life with your crazy insane journey with you and only you because that is when I feel alive. I know that this is new ground for both of us and I do not expect you to answer me. But when we were here last you told me that I couldn't take that last jump until I let go of my fear as you have. So, I am letting go of my fear now once and for all."

He didn't say anything but, I wanted to show him that I had let go of my fear by doing the last step to my plan. I began to take off my heels before I curled my toes on the edge of the floor preparing myself for what could be my last moments. With one final breathe I shook off the last of my fear as I began to step off. But when I took the step it wasn't the freefall that I thought I would feel. No, I felt arms wrap around my waist pulling me away from the edge. He held me in his arms and silence fell in the room. I was confused I did not understand. I was taking that last step to commitment. "Peyton," his voice sounded broken, I tried to turn to face him but his grip on my waist tightened, "No don't look at me. You said that I have let go of my fear but, you are wrong. I haven't let go of all my fear. Before I met you, I did not know what it was to fear…I was fearless. But, hearing you made me realize that I am fearful of one thing…you. It seemed so silly, laughable even to have fear. When you forgot me, I realized I didn't know what to do without you. I was lost and angry and I took it out on the city. No matter how many banks I robbed, people I killed or tortured, even batsy could not fill the hole you left. You may be ready to let go of your fear but, I am not ready to let my fear for you go. When I am ready to let go of my fear, we will take the final step together."

I felt his arms loosen and I twisted to face him fully. His arms tightened once more as I held his face in my hands. Tears had graced my eyes while he spoke, "Will you live, or will you die for me?" I asked

His eyes searched mine, "I will live for you."

"I love you." I decided to push it one further

If he wanted to drop his fear, he had to admit to the feelings with both know we felt. His voice seemed caught in his throat but, after a moment he pushed through his fear, "I love you."

A rush of passion surged through me and I pulled his face to mine. I kissed him as if it would be my last and he didn't hesitate to kiss me back. His arms traveled from my waist to my thighs where he picked me up and I wrapped my thighs around him. The slit in my dress separated to allow him in between and I could feel his boner rubbing against my wet panties. I moaned as he began to move us, and he rubbed against me with every step. The friction was causing me to go insane. As my back hit the pillar, I pulled my lips away from his as I gasped for air. He didn't pause as he kissed down my neck to my collarbone where he began to nibble. Normally I would want the teasing and I would want to drag it out as long as I could but, I hadn't had sex in what felt like forever and all I wanted was him, "Please J." I begged

I felt his grin against my skin and he waisted no time in ripping my panties of and pushing his pants down. Before I had a moment to beg again, he had lined up with my opening and pushed in. I groaned as he gave me a moment to adjust. "Fuck your so tight." He breathed against my neck

I grinded my hips into him so he would get the hint to move. He complied and started moving hard and rough and I threw my head back in ecstasy. "J." I moaned breathlessly

I began to meet his thrusts the best I could given our position. "Peyton." He growled back

He pushed me harder into the wall never breaking his rhythm and he let one hand travel between my legs. He began to barely touch my clit and I began to see stars. He was teasing me, and I just wanted my release. I placed a hand in his hair and roughly pulled his head back as we stared at each other in complete lust filled craze. "I want to cum J, start fucking me like you mean it."

"Yes, my queen."

He did exactly what I asked for. He began to thrust harder and his finger began to circle my clit faster. I pulled my nails roughly down his open chest leaving fresh blood in their place. He hissed but never broke his stride. "J…Im going….to cum….please don't stop!" I screamed out in pleasure

My moans echoed in the empty building. Before I knew it the heat in my stomach exploded in a feeling of euphoria and J's movement became a little more erratic before he to came inside me. He didn't pull out, but he allowed my body to collapse against his. My eyes felt heavy but, my heart filled with so much love with his next words. "I will always love you Peyton but, don't leave me again. Of course, I will live for you but, I want you to live by my side."

I knew that this would probably be one of the rare moments where we talked like this but, it will be a memory that lives with me until the day I die. After all who can say that they made the Joker feel something beside laughter

Thank you I would like to start of by thanking my new people who favorited my story and the ones who have stayed;

Edsheerancamogie, Xanthe99, Roaring-River67, mbacke043172005, Rubby, DarkeAngel10, CoraPearson, RKOforlife01, AstralFang1020, AlenaNova, draculaura12041998, Kirra Isla

I also want to thank everyone who has followed and has continued to follow;

lilNekolil, Rubby, emmabou, DarkeAngel10, CryingRosex3, Veloxi, .Death.01, CoraPearson, RKOforlife01, VampireBaby101

As always, I would love reviews to know how you guys are liking but, until next time!