Chapter song: More Than Enough – Alina Baraz
Chapter 14 – second I'm with you, all my love pour out
CPOV
Friday evening
I stare at her for a few moments and get up and start pacing. She's a virgin... but... how? She dates and...
I don't know how much time passes but she suddenly gets up and starts wearing her heels.
"Well, I can see how this is causing you to have a coronary so I'll just let myself out."
"Be honest, Ana. Are you messing with me? You're a virgin? Who the fuck is a virgin these days?" I bellow and I see a look of shock and eventually dejection mar her face.
"Look, Christian Grey. After telling me all about your colorful sexual past, I don't understand why the fuck you're losing your shit over the lack of color and dullness in mine. I mean what the fuck is up with you men? If a woman has had too many sexual partners then she's a slut but if she hasn't had any, they want nothing to do with her because she's probably a psycho. Meanwhile, you all are revered no matter what your sexual status. I mean, I'm a virgin not a nun who took a vow of celibacy..." She spits out turns to walk away.
"No, you're not leaving." I grab her arm and I see the anger flash in her eyes. She maneuvers to free herself from my grasp but I grab both of her arms behind her back and she gently raises her knee to touch my crotch. Fuck, I forgot about that. The wine is slowing me down.
"That's right, Grey... I can still cause you damage... to what I'm guessing is your favorite body part." The anger in her eyes is alarming but also such a fucking turn on. "You have five seconds to let my hands go or I'll make you scream like a little bitch." She seethes.
I immediately let her go. "I'm sorry... please don't leave. I didn't mean to react that way... It's just that you're so beautiful. How are you still..."
She takes few steps back. "Oh believe me, it's not for the lack of trying. I've been trying for 2.5 years but navigating the New York dating scene isn't a walk in the park like for you upper echelon people."
"Trust me, it isn't that great on my side either." I chuckle but she doesn't react. "I'm sorry, come sit with me and let's talk about this."
She doesn't look at me and I can tell she's debating whether or not she should stay. Me and fucking big mouth.
"Please, baby." I press my forehead against hers and kiss her nose and she nods.
We take our seats but she doesn't look me in the eye.
"Are these men blind, how could they not want you?"
She rolls her eyes. "Look, I've had almost 50 dates in the last two and half years. Less than 10 of those ever went to second dates and only three of those almost led me to lose my virginity territory before I was swiftly rejected."
"Again, were these men blind? I mean... I'm sorry. This is just... I'm baffled." What the fuck is wrong with these men. She's the complete package, she oozes sex appeal.
She looks at me with an exasperated expression. "First time, it was this college guy... we met at a party and went back to his place. I had told him I was a virgin and that I wasn't looking for anything more than a one night stand. He was cool with it. We get back to his apartment and I go to the bathroom to freshen up. I come back out and the fucker is passed out snoring so I did what any self respecting woman in my position would do... I picked up his phone, held it to his face cause you know... face ID and then I ordered myself a nice Uber XL on his account and went home from Murray Hill in comfort and class. Cost him more than $100 bucks. Hashtag treat yourself."
There's a hint of a smile on her lips and I burst out laughing and she laughs too.
"Second time it was this fucking hipster from Williamsburg who was talking about his dream to start an alpaca farm. I was into it, I think they're cute. Anyway, we're taking the train to his place and on the walk over from the station to his apartment building he goes... "so I don't believe in going down on a woman.". I was offended because... I'm all about equality and feel good vibes all around. So I told him sayonara and that I'd come by after a few years to pay my respects to his broken hand and broken dick. Then I turned around an walked off." She shrugs and I try my best to stifle a laugh but I can't.
"Well, I can say with utmost authority that the fucker missed out and I'm glad he did." I smirk and she rolls her eyes. "What about the third guy?"
Her face falls. "He was hedge fund guy. Cute and funny. We were in a cab heading back to his place and we made out a little bit. When we walked into his apartment, he got me a drink and I was upfront with him. Told him I wasn't looking for anything concrete.. blah blah and he straight said 'I don't do virgin training, it's too much work and I don't do clingy.' So I left." She shrugs.
"He's an asshole." She raises an eyebrow and I realize how much of I hypocrite I am. "I know... I'm not different. I freaked out on you too, I shouldn't have. Especially after what I told you."
"Christian, I don't really place any high value on virginity. I mean for the longest time I was afraid and then I was so annoyed of feeling that way so I bit the bullet and starting dating. I mean I once watched this TV show, it was a medical drama and one of the patients who comes in was like this woman in her 30's who waited till her wedding night to have sex. Didn't even masturbate... I mean bless her heart, right? Then on her wedding night, they are physically unable to have sex... because her vagina closed up, it's called vulvar vastibulitis. CAN YOU IMAGINE? That is like my worst nightmare. So yeah... I do not want to end up like that. I just wanted to get this all over with. I guess this is also my fault too, I mean Katya says I put out these man repeller vibes sometimes" She speaks with complete seriousness and I have to bite my cheek to not laugh.
"I'm sorry baby, but I have to laugh... " She gestures me to do so with her hand and I continue to laugh my ass off. She sags back on the sofa and waits for me to calm down.
"I'm glad I could provide you some primetime entertainment." She grumbles.
"Come here." I hold my hand out and pull her on top to straddle me and kiss her with abandon. "I don't know where you've been all my life. You're perfection... and now... I get to have you completely."
"So does this mean you're going to fuck my brains out?" she wiggles her eyebrows and I have to laugh.
"Eventually." I pepper kisses from her lips along her jawline to her ear." but first I'm going to make love to you and show you how much I adore you... and then I'll fuck you hard to make up for all that times I had restrain myself." I bite her earlobe and she gasps.
"In that case, I suggest you get right to it cause I'm a woman on a mission. Chop chop!" She sasses making us both laugh. I have no idea what to do with this woman and I love every second of it.
I carry her to my room and she asks to use the bathroom.
"Okay promise me something."
"Yeah, sure."
"DO NOT fall asleep. Please." She tries to keep a straight face but we both laugh.
"I couldn't even if I tried." I give her a quick kiss before she turns to walkaway and I slap her ass making her gasp and giggle. "Admit you liked that."
"I admit nothing, Grey." She sasses before closing the door.
APOV
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
OH
MY
GOD
I get done peeing and look in the mirror to give myself an effective pep talk. Need to make this quick because I can't have the Greek god out there fall asleep on me.
The millions of voices in my head are all clamoring like they're on the fucking trading floor at Wall Street to get a word in but I have no time for that.
Sabotage Susan, wait outside the gate. It's an electrified fence so don't even try to climb it.
Pornstar Pam, keep it at a solid 5, need to keep him interested enough to come back for more.
Wedding and Family Planner Wanda, I'm pairing you with Sabotage Susan. You're scary as fuck sometimes.
Sassy Sally, try to keep it at a level 2 for the remainder of that night.
Virgin Vicky, sorry Hon but we're throwing you off the boat tonight. It was nice knowing ya.
I fix my hair a little and follow Katya's little maneuver to give it that glamorous... oh what the fuck ever. I'm going out now.
I open the door and walk out and I suddenly remember I forgot to shove a bottle of Xanax down Nervous Nancy's throat. When I'm back in the room, I see Christian on his phone standing by the window. He's taken his jacket and shoes off and holy fuck I'm way too nervous now. He senses me and gives me an enigmatic smile that I'm unable to return because for some reason, I want to burst into tears.
WHAT THE FUCK STEELE?
He comes closer to me and cups my face before kissing me tenderly. Okay, this is good. Just kiss me into oblivion. That should shut Nervous Nancy up real good.
"Um... I'm on the shot by the way and you already know that I've never been with anyone but you." I mumble nervously trying not to picture all the different women he's had sex with.
"Thank fuck you haven't... I'm clean too. I got tested the week after Memorial Day and I haven't been with anyone in more than a month." I nod. "I've always worn a condom while having sex but with you, I don't want to... if you're comfortable with that."
"Yeah, I'm okay with that..." I mean, not that I know the different between condom sex or without. I totally should've asked Katya about that. Shit. He looks down at me with a devilish smile, god dammit why are you so good looking?
The next thing I know is that my dress is somewhere on the floor and I'm lying on his bed as he kisses me all over. I try not to moan but Pornstar Pam is a determined broad this evening.
"You're so beautiful, Anastasia." He whispers into my neck moving down to my breasts before sucking on them like he's been starved for decades. I arch my body up because the sensation of what he's doing is both painful and incredible at the same time. After a few minutes he moves further south and kisses the insides of my thighs.
"How about I sample the cherry again before I pop it?"
I can't help but giggle. "Feel free to sample away... have as many as you'd like." I hear him chuckle and suddenly I hear him rip my VERY EXPENSIVE LINGERIE OFF.
I sit up. "What the hell, Grey. That shit was expensive... you owe me." He looks up with a smirk and no remorse. I should really smack him.
"Baby, I'll buy you all the lingerie you want..." He keeps his eyes on me and drags my hips closer to the edge of the bed and sinks his face... holy shit, this is hot. Watching him, watching me as he eats me out.
PAM! HONEY, I DON'T THINK WE'RE READY FOR THIS.
I throw my head back as I lose myself in the rhythm he sets. I try not to pull on his hair but fuck, this man can really sample a cherry. I mean, how the fuck should I know... but then again, as long as I'm happy and getting off, that's all that matters right?
Suddenly I feel him insert one finger... oh wait, another one now... two fingers and yep, he finger fucks me and wait a second what is that... it feels amazing. I moan loudly and my hips almost buck off the bed... is that the elusive g-spot? Just as I'm wondering I feel that familiar feeling of everything tightening south of me and I scream out his name but he continues on till I can barely register what's happening anymore.
He plants a small kiss on my clit telling me I taste even sweeter than before, this man really knows what he's doing. He rises to take off his pants and boxer briefs... and to say I was not ready for the sight of what he was packing was an understatement. Sure, I had an idea that he was big... but not THIS big. I'm sure he can register the shock on my face and he smirks.
"Your body will adjust baby..."
"Really, cause your situation looks like it will murder my situation and I only have one of this. I can't exactly amazon prime another one."
SHUT UP SASSY SALLY.
I cover my face and fall into a giggle fit. I hear him chuckle while he climbs over me and I feel the mattress dip a little. I'm so nervous now and I can my face heat up and my eyes sting with tears. He takes my hands away from my face and looks down on me. I can feel him hard and ready to go on the inside of my thigh.
"What's wrong baby?" He asks with sincerity and it's enough to shut me up but I feel the tears about to spill out but I control myself.
"I'm just a little nervous... " I swallow and tear my eyes away from him. "doing it with someone I was never going to see again, took the edge off... but... I guess, I don't want to be a less than satisfactory experience for you."
Don't cry, Ana. Why the fuck are you being such a baby?
He leans down and kisses me deeply. "Ana, every experience with you has been more than extraordinary... you have nothing to be nervous about." I nod but still can't bring myself to look at him. "I'll go slow... "
"Will you restrain me?" I don't know how I feel about that, I guess I should've really thought about it before.
He tells me he won't, that he trusts I'll respect his boundaries, which I immediately promise I will.
He kisses me with his hands wandering all over my body, I feel him grind against my clit causing me to moan his name over and over again till he slowly guides his tip to my entrance and inch by inch he slowly sinks himself into me.
"God, baby... you're so tight and warm... you feel so good." He hisses.
Really? Cause it fucking hurts for me, champ. I yelp out in pain and tears prick my eyes and I feel my entire body yell out 'intruder alert, intruder alert.'
He crashes his lips to mine and tries to distract me from the pain. "Breathe baby, take deep breaths..." I slowly nod do just that but go damn it, this shit hurts. Soon it starts to subside and I feel marginally better.
"I'm going to move baby, I'll go slow." And he does, slowly it goes from painful to pleasurable and I begin to meet him thrust for thrust, pulling on to his hair.
"You're mine now, Ana... tell me you're mine..." he growls.
I open my eyes and I see him staring down at me with a feral look as he rolls his hips into me. Yours? I find myself wanting to agree with him but I hear Feminist Fran yelling 'you only belong to yourself' in the distance. Shut up, biatch.
"Yours." I breathe and he gives me a triumphant smile before locking me in an all-consuming kiss. I feel myself climb higher as soon as I feel his fingers play with my clit. I let go screaming his name but he keeps going and starts to thrust into me harder as I ride the wave of my orgasm.
"Fuckkk Ana... Fuckkk." he roars and stills, I feel him empty himself inside of me. I see his face tense and even in this moment he looks beautiful. I bring my hand to his face and pull him down for a kiss while he trembles, falling on top of me, completely spent.
He pulls me with him so that we're lying side to side for a while, not saying a word but just kissing each other. I feel a wave of emotion take over me again. Not this again. I'm suddenly weary, is this just a chemical reaction or am I falling in love with him? He said he didn't want anything fleeting. He said my touch meant more...
I knew it, Sabotage Susan just landed in my backyard again. The bitch has a flying broomstick.
CPOV
So this is what intimacy is. Flynn has been harping on about this for years and I thought he was stark raving mad. I started to only mildly consider the idea after Theo died but no woman in the past two years ever made me want that... sure, sex I wanted as a pure physical need but the emotional need of intimacy... never.
"How are you feeling?" I ask her between kisses.
She replies with a shy smile. "I'm good."
"Being with you was better than I imagined all these weeks... felt like heaven..."
"It felt a little like hell for me for the first minute or two... but then we moved into heaven territory." She giggles making me laugh.
"Does your brain ever take a break?"
"Sadly, no. It's a blessing and a curse." She shrugs.
"You know what this mean, I have to fuck you now. It's the only way to shut you up" I smirk and she laughs out loud and nods. I give her a quick kiss and bite her bottom lip. Before I can be inside her again she squirms a little asking if we should maybe clean up. I tell her I don't care about that shit, all I want is to be inside her...
I line up my cock with her entrance and slowly push myself into her. Her body arches and she bites her lip. The sight drives me insane. I pull back out and slam back into her over and over again. Having her under me like this, knowing that I'm the only man who's ever made her feel like this... and if I have my way, I'll be the only man who will ever make her feel like this. It's better than anything I have ever imagined since the first time I saw her.
"Christian..." She calls out throwing her head back with her eyes shut. I lift her legs and throw them over my shoulder making her scream out..."fuck Christian... yesss..."
"Open your eyes, Ana." I command her and she complies. I want to look into her beautiful eyes every time I buried deep inside of her like this. The way her body looks spread out in front of me, how it feels in my hands, the warmth and softness of her skin, the sound of her voice. This could never get old. I need more and more of this.
She clamps down on me and I can tell she's close. I'm too fucking close and I want this to last longer but I can't hold on for much more. I start to massage her clit and she moan louder.
"That's baby... cum for me Ana I want to feel you." I pound into her relentlessly and a few thrusts later we both lose ourselves in each other as she screams her release and I shout out mine.
I fall onto her a panting mess. Holy fuck that was all consuming. This woman will be my undoing. I pull out of her and she whimpers but I hold her close, feeling her heartbeat close to mine. This feels right.
After a while we go to the bathroom and I, much to her protest, help her clean up. I don't know why she feels so ashamed... I'd wear those sheets like a badge of honor if I could. Her body is perfection and I can tell I'm going to have make her see it the way I do.
"Um... I can sleep in one of the guest rooms. I don't want to be the reason you're uncomfortable if I accidentally touch you or cause you to have a nightmare." She mumbles as we walk back into the room.
"I want you next to me." She looks at me wide-eyed. "The nights where we spoke before I went ot sleep, I slept a little better... I think if you sleep next to me, I'll sleep well." I kiss her forehead and lead her into the bed. I pull her close to me, her back to my front and hold her tight.
"Goodnight Speedy." I kiss her neck.
"Goodnight Lurch." She giggles and I breathe in her scent.
Saturday morning.
I stir a little and reach out to find Ana's side of the bed empty. I open my eyes and see her sitting on the window ledge across from me in my shirt taking pictures of the early morning. I check my phone and it's a little after 5:30am. I lazily crawl out of bed and wrap my arms around her waist as I sit behind her and nuzzle her neck.
"It's so early..." I whine.
"I couldn't sleep..."
"New place?"
"Yeah and I had this guy feeling me up... " She giggles. I put my hands under her shirt and start to cup her breasts and twist her nipples making her laugh. "Did you sleep okay?" She asks turning her face back to look at me.
"Really well. It's the first night in a... I think ever where I didn't have a nightmare. I think you're my dream catcher Miss Steele."
"We aim to please, Mr. Grey." She smiles and pulls me in for a kiss. We sit like this for a while, looking out as the city wakes up and the sun climbs up from behind the buildings.
"You look beautiful in the morning light, baby. Just like when I saw you at the beach that day."
"You're not so bad yourself... especially when you were walking towards me all Baywatch like... I almost jumped you but then I remembered that I'm a lady.." She giggles.
"Missed opportunity in my book."
"Let me guess, you've been counting all those missed opportunities and intend to make up for them?"
"Yes, starting right now." I growl and lower my hand to play with her pussy. "Are you sore?"
"Um..." She closes her eyes for a few seconds.
"Ana?"
"Sshh, I'm doing an internal systems check." I chuckle. This girl is really something else. "Yeah, I am a little sore... "
"Then come on, I'll make your feel better. We can have a bath and then go eat some breakfast."
"Are you cooking?"
"Sure, if you want to have charred eggs and burnt toast." I smirk making her roll her eyes.
After a relaxing bath we ventured into the kitchen and I, actually, by some miracle was able to help make breakfast without burning on breaking anything. She started me off by frying bacon, which is definitely easy and fool proof... for the most part.
She winces a bit before taking a seat and I should feel a slight bit of remorse but I don't... only because it's evidence of my being there.
"Don't look at me with that smug face, Grey. It's so unfair that women have to go through pain no matter what."
"I'm sorry baby but I'm I can't help but feel pride that I've been where no other man has or ever will."
"Ever will? That's mighty presumptuous of you." She shrugs and takes a bite of her egg and cheese sandwich.
"Miss Steele, I only ever talk in absolutes. So yes, ever will." I smirk.
"Only if you don't fuck up or piss me off... so we'll see." She smirks back and I get up and pull her to me and kiss her hard making her moan.
"Don't sass me Miss Steele, I always get what want."
"Then it goes both ways, Grey. I better be the only woman in your life from this moment forward." The look of intensity in her eyes is sobering. Of course she's the only woman in my life. She's the only woman I've ever really wanted.
"You have been since the day we met."
She gives me a sweet smile and I have her sit in my lap as we finish our breakfast and continue to talk.
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"I have a shoot with Jack." She grimaces. "It was booked in advance when I was filing out his calendar with my availability. I can't get out of it since Cruz, his official assistant is on vacation starting yesterday."
"So you'll be working with him alone?"
"No, there's a team of 6 people, in addition to the models. It'll be like any regular day... "
"I was hoping we could spend the whole weekend together."
"I'd like that but if I wasn't working with Jack then I'd be at the Diner. I mean I took today off... which means I have to go home tonight to prep for tomorrow."
I wanted to sleep with her again and have another nightmare free night.
"How about we got and get your stuff. You can spend the night here and I'll drop you off at Jack's tomorrow morning."
She takes my hand in hers and gives it a light squeeze. "Okay... we can do that."
"What about the diner do you really need to work there?"
"I don't, not financially for a while but I've been working there since I was 16. It was good therapy for me after the Kavanagh shit. Helped me not be so anti-social. Plus it's been a part of my life since I was a kid. My mom and Reen have been going there for years. So it's kind of a family tradition. Also, Horowitz gets grumpy if he doesn't see me for a few days."
"About that, you need to tell him you've moved on." I chuckle.
"I'm not saying shit, you deal with him. Fight for my honor." She laughs.
After breakfast we spend she tells me she has two calls scheduled; one with a small brand that wants to work with her and another with her dad for later. I tell her I'll be in my study to go over some work emails and calls and that she can come find me whenever she's done.
An hour or so later I walk into the kitchen to get something to drink when I hear Ana arguing on the phone.
"Jesus, Dad. I really love you but you are such a pain in the ass sometimes... No, why can't you just trust my judgment on this?... "She rubs her forehead as she paces to and from the length of the window. "Well you know what, then you shouldn't have homeschooled me all those years. Mia is a nice girl, Katya who is definitely more street smart than I am feels the exact same way. She's not like the Kavanaghs, her family is really nice... Dad... please stop... if you're not going to take into account anything that I say then we need to end this conversation. Nat Geo wants an answer by Tuesday so just text me your final decision on that... no dad, we're not discussing this anymore and I am never telling you anything about my social life from here on out. I know you want to protect me but I've been through enough humiliation in my life to last me a lifetime and fuck up my self-worth. I don't need constant reminders of that from you... fine. I love you. Bye."
She hangs up and growls angrily in frustration and sits down on the floor at the edge of the window. I see her wipe her eyes and take a deep breath.
I walk a little closer and call out to her.
"Are you okay?"
She tenses and shrugs. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying. I don't cry." She spits out.
I take a seat next to her and she looks away from me, hiding her face.
"What's wrong, Ana? What did your dad say?"
"He asked me why I wouldn't facetime and I said I was at a friends place for a sleepover. He's weary of Mia and your family... given my experience with the Kavanagh's. He's just being overprotective."
"So you didn't tell him about us?"
"Well, he wouldn't have taken the news all that well given his reaction to my sleeping over at Mia's. If I told him I was dating her brother who happens to be an eligible billion bachelor... I mean one google search and he would've lost it. As of now, he only knows that I photographed you for the GQ cover."
"I'd like to meet him whenever he comes back in town to make him feel at ease, if that helps."
"I don't think that's a good idea." She breathes. "not this soon, I mean."
"Why not?"
"Christian, we're still getting to know each other and my dad is... intense. Like sure, he's a hippie but when it comes to Katya and myself, especially after the whole Kavanagh situation... I mean the man shoots first and asks questions later." My eyes go wide and she giggles. "Not literally of course, I mean, he'll be an asshole to you is what I'm saying. I'm his kid... and I'm a girl so he's just being a pain in the ass dad. I need time to ease him into the idea of us seeing each other."
I nod and try not to let the idea of her not wanting to introduce me bother me that much.
"I guess you get your anger from him."
"Yeah... like father like daughter." She mumbles.
"Next week is July 4th? I'd love for you to come spend it with us in the Hamptons."
"I don't know about that... I mean as what, we just... this just started... " She swallows and looks away for a second.
"As my girlfriend, Ana. They already know about you."
'WHAT?"
I chuckle. "Yeah, I told them I was trying to get to know you. Mom and Dad are ecstatic already. Mia's already threatened to cut my balls off if I fuck up. So I think we're doing really well so far, besides you'd be the first woman I'd be introducing to them as my girlfriend."
She giggles and gives me a quick kiss. "I'd be honored, Mr. Grey."
"Good, now let's go. I want to indulge in my new favorite pass time." We both get up and I take her hand and lead her to the couch.
"What's that?"
"Being buried balls deep inside of you." She laughs out loud and I silence her with a kiss.
A/N: time for some fireworks in the next chapter and not the kind that light up the sky. Hah! Any guesses? Also, Ana needs to chill doesn't she, she's always ready to kick someone's ass. Let me know what you think.
VRB Mariposa: CG wouldn't be CG if he wasn't into opening Pandora's box. Haha.
susancollins522: oh they're going to get what's coming to them... but more secrets need to be revealed! that's where our buddy Welch comes in.
krooela: omg, thank you. means so much, since I love your stories. I hope you'll write another one soon.