Title: Yours Upon Reflection
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Pairings: Lan Xichen/Jiang Yanli (pre-relationship), Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian (pre-relationship)
Setting: MDZS Novel, immediately post-WWX's expulsion from Cloud Recesses.
A/N: This is a prompt fill for the MDZS/Untamed kink_meme_2020 over on AO3 I'm porting over. I actually filled it in multiple fics; this one is in LXC's POV, and was followed by one from JYL's POV. There are other side stories and sequels as well; let me know if I should combine them into one fic or if you're fine to open them from my profile. The series is called, "A Love Both Gentle & Sure".
Cloud Recesses seemed strangely calm and peaceful after the departure of one particularly troublesome guest disciple. For all that it was merely a return to its usual state, after the past few months the sudden transition felt almost jarring.
While the effects of his absence varied depending on the individuals in question, perhaps the most unexpected reaction was that of the young man who sat in silent contemplation in a modest dwelling called the Hanshi.
Lan Xichen stared at the cup of tea he held clasped between his hands, a soft frown marring his expression.
His earlier attempt at meditation had been disturbed by some emotional disquiet. Startled by the unexpected difficulty, he decided to take tea while examining his thoughts and feelings in an effort to identify what was bothering him.
He found himself reflecting on the expulsion of Wei Wuxian from Cloud Recesses earlier that day, and attempted to pin down his misgivings regarding what had happened.
In one world, he would have dismissed his dissatisfaction with events as being solely due to wishing Wangji had not had to lose the company of his first ever friend – on whom he had the most adorable crush! – and been content to return to his meditation after recognising his unhappiness for Wangji's sake. He would have assumed that the lingering sense of injustice and regret he caught himself feeling regarding what happened was simply due to feeling that it was unfair for Wangji to have to suffer the consequences of Wei Wuxian's rule-breaking.
However, violence of the kind Wei Wuxian had committed was forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, so his expulsion was natural and expected under the circumstances. While it was a pity for Wangji, there was simply nothing to be done; aside from hoping that they would meet again in the future and have other opportunities to further their friendship.
That was what happened in one world, and this brief interlude remained unimportant and soon forgotten.
In this one, however, he paused.
Searching himself further, he was surprised to notice that while he did feel disappointment on behalf of his didi, that was not the only thing that disturbed him about the incident.
While he had correctly identified the most prominent reason for his unsettled feelings, he had not expected there to be any further cause of displeasure over the whole thing. Upon further reflection, he recalled the dishonourable behaviour of the Jin heir that led to Wei Wuxian's bout of violence. He realised that, despite the rules against it, part of him felt Wei Wuxian's response had been justified.
Or at least, his emotional response had been.
His physical reaction had violated several important Lan principles, and required punishment; but the fact remained that part of Xichen was disturbed that the provocation he'd been given had not been taken into account in determining that punishment.
Furthermore, the words of the Jin heir that caused the whole mess to begin with violated several more Lan precepts which were equally important, if less easily enforced.
Do not slander others.
Do not judge on appearances.
Do not be rude.
Do not be unfaithful.
Respect others.
Be virtuous.
Be loyal.
Be grateful for what you have.
Act with honour and integrity.
Gossip is forbidden.
Excessive pride is forbidden.
Envy is forbidden.
Talking behind others' backs is forbidden.
Respect and honour your spouse.
The collection of rules Jin Zixuan had broken with regards to his betrothed was longer than the list that Wei Wuxian had violated by punching him.
Xichen found that it did not sit well with him that the only consequence the Jin heir faced was the breaking of a betrothal he was dissatisfied with. While he had returned home as well, his departure from Cloud Recesses had been voluntary. He was neither reprimanded nor punished for the disrespect he had shown.
If he was entirely honest with himself, he felt that all things considered, between the two boys Wei Wuxian's was the lesser offense.
For all that he had gone about it wrongly, he was merely attempting to defend the honour of his family.
In a moment of vicious clarity, Xichen found himself aware that he was questioning the righteousness of the Lan sect upholding the principles in the manner which they currently adhered towards. The tone of his thoughts was shocking to him; feeling almost heretical.
He swiftly calmed himself by reminding himself that it was not the principles themselves which he doubted, nor was it the pursuit of righteousness; only the method through which they were judged and upheld. And while it was currently not his place to question his Elders or the practices by which his sect lived, he would one day be the Sect Leader. At that time, such things would be within his rights to investigate.
Not only that - if he was aware of changes that could make their sect more faithful to their own doctrine, it would then be his duty to guide his sect towards the more righteous path.
Upon coming to this conclusion, he resolved to set aside the matter to consider more extensively at a later date, when he could afford to give it the time and level of attention it deserved.
For now, he turned his thoughts to the final issue that bothered him – the unacceptable truth that the party who had been most harmed by the whole fiasco was the one with the least guilt. Namely, the innocent Jiang Yanli.
The furrow between his brows deepened as he considered the impact of events of her.
While they were not close in any manner of the word, he had met her at the last Discussion Conference held at Lotus Pier, and found her charming and delightful. They had run into one another quite by accident, and fallen into a pleasant and engrossing conversation that lasted several hours. Having lost track of time, they were startled to realise how much time had passed when they had initially only intended to exchange pleasantries before going on their separate ways.
Afterwards, Xichen was lectured by his uncle on the impropriety of spending so much time alone and unaccompanied with a young woman. He was embarrassed and slightly disturbed by the implication, as Jiang Yanli was not yet twelve at the time, and he himself was newly fourteen. Therefore the idea that there could have been anything improper in their brief association was an uncomfortable one.
While she was not unattractive – she had seemed pretty for her age, he supposed, though he had not been particularly concerned with her appearance at the time – but the thought of expressing interest in a girl her age made him balk.
Still, he had resolved to be a bit more cautious in the future, and to be more mindful of things that could be damaging to a young woman's reputation. He resolved to ensure they were not unaccompanied the next time they saw one another, in order to keep things proper. It didn't even occur to him at the time that they might not run into one another again.
For all that she was a bit more than two years younger than he was, she was interesting and well-educated enough that speaking to her had felt like conversing with one of his peers. They shared a number of interests, and he found some of her thoughts and insights quite fascinating.
It meant that it was a slight disappointment to him when he didn't see her again for the rest of the conference.
When he mentioned that he might like to exchange letters with her, his uncle launched into yet another lecture on propriety. Apparently, it would not be appropriate for him to send letters to another man's betrothed. Never mind that the 'man' in question was all of twelve, and the betrothed even younger.
This resulted in another bout of discomfort at the implication that he might have designs on the then-eleven year old.
Rather than attempt to articulate just why he wished to form a friendship with a girl who was younger than himself without ulterior motives, he decided to drop the idea and simply be grateful for the companionship he had found with Nie Mingjue.
The incident was soon forgotten, but he found himself thinking of it now as he considered his once almost-friend.
Regardless of her feelings towards her – now former – betrothed, he had no doubt that she had been hurt by the manner in which things had ended. Even moreso had she cared for him. But indifference or distaste towards him would still not have eliminated the cruelty of it. It was likely that she was at least slightly humiliated, and the rumours that would spread outside Cloud Recesses were unlikely to be kind.
As he thought about it, he found himself feeling certain that she could use a friend right now.
He resolved to write to her soon, and offer her support and encouragement while she undoubtedly needed it.
Errant thoughts and unsettled emotions thus suitably quelled, he finally reached a tranquil enough mental state that he felt he could continue his meditation unimpeded.
Jiang-guniang,
I realise that it may seem strange for me to contact you so suddenly, when we have not spoken in a little over four years. I apologize if this letter is unwelcome.
I found you to be quite pleasant company; intelligent, cultured, and kind. Your knowledge of art and appreciation for many of the same artists whose I enjoy myself made for enjoyable conversation; your opinions and interpretations of many of my favourite pieces was both impressive and enlightening.
I had originally intended to write to you after the Conference where we met; but my Uncle explained that my motives in doing so could be misconstrued, which stayed my hand.
Although we haven't spoken in quite some time, I have always considered you to be – not quite a friend; but a friendly acquaintance, at least. Someone who I could see myself becoming friends with in time; life has simply not offered us the opportunity to do so.
It is in the spirit of that almost friendship which I write to you now.
The events that have recently transpired here in Cloud Recesses were most unfortunate; and I fear they were ill-handled.
Wei Wuxian was treated as the most guilty party in the situation, when in fact he merely attempted to defend your honour – albeit in a totally inappropriate way. As I recall you saying you considered both him and Jiang Wanyin to be your younger brothers, I hope that hearing a possibly skewed account of what happens does nothing to strain your relationship.
Jin Zixuan was treated as more of a victim, rather than the instigator of the altercation, as my investigation has shown to be the fact. In my opinion, he had rather earned young Master Wei's considerable ire.
I do not claim to know your thoughts or feelings regarding the recent dissolution of your Betrothal. Whether you greet its end with relief or heartache, it has nonetheless come about in a most unpleasant manner.
While we are not close, I can only imagine what you must be going through as a result.
My opinion on the matter may not be welcome; but I must nonetheless express that I believe you will one day be happier for this turn of events. You deserve far better than to be wed to a man who would treat you as Sect Leader Jin treats Jin-furen. A man may not be his father, but young Master Jin's attitude towards you speaks much of his character – none of it good.
As painful as this may be for you now, I hope that it frees you to one day find someone who will strive to be worthy of you in all the ways which young Master Jin was not.
Please do not ever feel that there was any failing on your part that caused this. From what I know of the situation, it has more to do with a spoiled boy being determined to emulate his father than any true reflection on yourself. Therefore you have nothing to be ashamed of; I am sure you have only grown more impressive in the years since we met.
In the meanwhile, I wish to offer my sympathies for your struggles, and the promise of a non-judgemental audience should you wish to tell someone your woes.
Or, if you would prefer to be distracted, we could always discuss our younger brothers again.
Your Wei Wuxian was quite determined to befriend my Wangji; though I don't know if he realised quite how much of an impact he made on my didi. Wangji still struggles to express himself, but I could tell he enjoyed your brother's company. I fear he will be lonely in the absence of his first friend.
You may be interested in hearing some of the things your brothers have been up to in their time here...
A/N: While I tried to be as true to the original prompt as I could, I think things got a bit more serious than the prompter was looking for.
(I blame the author RoseThorne from AO3 - she's made me consider Lans in general and Xichen in particular to be very philosophical and prone to deep and extensive introspection. It made it next to impossible for me to write Xichen's thought processes without them turning into serious and thorough reflection on his beliefs and understanding of the world.)
I cut it off fairly early on in order to keep it mostly focused on the soft and sweet aspects of the prompt without getting into anything more serious. This means that it's more of a pre-relationship than an actual relationship, however.
I then broke it down into two parts, one from each of their perspectives, to post as a series. This leaves it open for me to eventually add further installments showing their relationship development as the heavier parts of canon come around, without the pressure of leaving it as a WIP. I'm not promising to continue it for sure, but I would like to do so ideally.
Whether I add more to this beyond the promised two installments (of three chapters each) or not, I hope that what I've come up with will satisfy the prompter!
I'm basing this on novel-canon.
Prompt:
Lan Xichen cannot understand, for the life of him, what the Jin heir found so displeasing about the Young Lady Jiang. She is cultured, well-mannered, and not to mention beautiful. After all the stir of the Jins officially ending their long-held betrothal agreement with the Jiangs settles down, Lan Xichen finds himself more and more curious about the young woman herself.
My eyes were just opened to this pairing and I would just like something soft with them. Can be book-complaint or CQL, dealer's choice. I just think they have really soft potential! They're both so giving of themselves, it'd be fun to see they are when then *want* something. They can bond over the duties of being the eldest sibling and to their clans, laugh over the differences in their own siblings, discuss literature and play games...
Not to mention that the Lans would surely approve of JYL...
Just! Soft! I'm not looking for anything in particular besides just a sweet little love story (or snippet, I'm not picky).