09-10-2020: Happy Birthday Ana!

I am so sorry for the delay on this. I have an outline for this story but when it came to writing down everything, I just ran out of inspiration and I lack the discipline because I get these new ideas and I get gung ho about writing them and I burn out. I know I promised two updates a month but that seems to be a little reach right now. I want to aim for at least once a month. To all the new faves and the reviews asking where I am, I'm sorry. I hope you all have been well.

I deleted the original chapter 16 - authors note because I can't honor it anymore. So here's a brand new chapter 16.

Chapter song: Lift Me Up - Mree

Chapter 16 – you make me wanna give my heart away

APOV

Sunday afternoon

I've lost my appetite. Mia whisked us to a local lobster roll place and we found ourselves a nice seats by the water. A million thoughts kept running through my mind as I tried to remain present. We tried to talk about things but the thought of what was going down back at the Grey holiday home was looming over us like a dark cloud. Yet here we were, sitting out and soaking the sun on a beautiful day.

I took a small bite of my chipotle lobster roll when my phone beeped. We had been here for about 45 minutes by this point

"It's Christian, he's saying that they left." I announced.

"Took him long enough. We'll head back in a bit, I wanna take my time and savor my food." Mia said through a mouthful. She looked like a little five year old which made me laugh. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing, you just look hilarious."

Mia responded with a cheesy grin and continued to scarf down her food. I looked at Katya who was equally lost in thought. I called out to her and she gave me a sad smile before returning to her food.

Once we arrived back at the house, Christian and Elliot walked straight to us, engulfing their women in hugs.

"Man, I really need to get Joe out here ASAP." Mia sassed and I immediately felt guilty. I can't imagine what it must feel like for her to watch her brother's date her new friends and to long for someone she loves who is so far away.

"You okay, baby?" Christian cupped my face. I nodded and gave him a smile. Elliot and Katya had already walked further into the house while we remained in the foyer. "You know I'll do anything to protect you right? You mean too much to me." He whispered against my lips. I nodded but in that moment I wanted to cry and I hated myself for it. I hated feeling vulnerable and this man was breaking down my walls that I had so carefully constructed over the years.

"I'm fine." I gave him a weak smile trying to maintain my composure. He leaned further to give me an all-consuming kiss that left me breathless.

A few minutes later we all were seated on a variety of chairs and couches in the Grey living area. I was seated with Christian on the loveseat with Grace and Carrick on the couch across from us and Mia, Katya and Elliot sitting on the couch to my right.

It's pin drop silence and the air thick with tension. My fear is that the tiniest sound would cause everything around me to explode.

CPOV

"Ana, darling... as you know the Kavanagh's were just over and things are well..." Dad looks towards Elliot sympathetically. "Tense and confusing to say at the least."

Mom is silent and torn. I can see her battling all this internally.

"Kate has made some accusations against you and—"

"I can imagine what those accusations are." Ana finishes his sentence for him with her gaze fixed on the floor. "She said I was crazy, didn't she?" Ana looks up at him.

"She alluded to that, yes."

Ana nods with pursed lips. I give her a hand light squeeze before kissing her temple. She looks at me and give me a small smile.

"I'm not crazy. I don't take any medication. What she is referring to is a time in my life when I lost my mother." Her voice catches in her throat momentarily and she looks to Katya who gives a her slight nod of encouragement.

"I was 11 when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had to watch this strong and beautiful woman wither away in front of my eyes into complete oblivion. I was 13 when she died and it was my first term at St. Francis. I was heartbroken. She died in the middle of the school year and..." She stops and shakes her head closing her eyes and looks up again. "I was just 13 years old. I still needed my mom. Kate was assigned as my peer mentor of sorts. She was a junior and we became good friends. I sort of confided in her a bit and we became close friends. When my mom died, Mrs. Kavanagh was incredibly sweet to me and she kind of took me under her wing. My dad and Katya's mom were so heartbroken, Katya and I were dealing with own heartbreak given what happened so it just became easier for me to talk to Kate's mom. It was like having a mom without the sadness." She stops and wipes her eyes.

"Kate and her mom have a contentious relationship because she's a daddy's girl. Ethan is also completely on the Senator's side. So Agnes was often outnumbered and for the most part cast aside and lonely. Kate would make fun of the fact that I'd stay in the kitchen talking to her mom rather than spending time with her and our friends in her room. Anyway, when I was 14, I came across the Senator and his intern who happened to be Kate's senior at St. Francis a few years ago, in a compromising position in their home office. I told Kate a few days later, urging her to tell her mom and at first she ignored me which I found odd and then she humiliated me at school only to apologize in private and lure me to a house party where she plied me with spiked drink and have me sexually assaulted, excepted my good friend figured out what was happening and called the cops before anything could really happen. Except, there were videos of me in a compromising position. My friend JR was able to hack into their CCTV feed and get a copy of the video but he couldn't get into Kate's phone for her copy of the video. When I went to report her at school, she had already reported me saying that I was harassing her and then the Kavanagh's strong armed us into taking a settlement and signing an NDA."

I see mom and dad's look completely dumbfounded and silent. Elliot is sitting with clenched fists, no doubt wanting to strangle Kate. I wrap my arm around Ana and pull her close to me but she doesn't cry. I know how much she hates talking about this. I've tried to get her to open up about her mom but she just shuts down.

"Ana, I'm so sorry." Dad begins.

"I can't believe that's who she is." Mom mumbles in disbelief.

"To be honest, we all do stupid things when we're kids, I had hoped maybe she really had grown up and was different but when she came over on memorial day weekend, she cornered me in Mia's room and threatened me. Which is why I made up an excuse to leave.

"What?" Grace gasps. Ana averts her eyes and silently nods. "Why— oh god, Ana sweetheart..."

"It's okay. Part of my agreement was to stay a 100 feet away from her, I didn't want to cause a scene."

"Kate told me that the Senator is being considered to replace the current VP in the upcoming election or definitely a prominent cabinet position." Elliot shares.

"OH HELL NO." Mia groans. "Are you for real?"

Grace ignores them. "Kate told me her mother has been very sick. Early onset dementia. She remains indoors and under constant supervision. She led to me believe that it's been so hard on her and the family and I believed her." Mom shakes her head. "

"What?" Ana looks up in tears.

"You didn't know?" Grace asks.

"N-no... I purposely didn't keep up with them. She was so kind to me... she even tried reaching out to me after everything, I don't think she ever knew or maybe she did, I don't know... because she would keep calling me but I blocked her number and then disappeared." Ana chokes out.

"Ana, I have a law school buddy of mine who is a brilliant criminal lawyer, I think you need to explore your options. We can—"

"No. I don't want to pursue this." Ana states firmly which earns a collective gasp from all of us except for Katya.

"Why not?" Mia blurts out. "The bitch is psycho and we need to get rid of her."

"Mia, language, please." Grace scolds her.

"Mom, shit has hit the fan and you get with the program." Mia intones and looks back at Ana.

"Ana, we need to do something." I tell her but she shakes her head.

"I get that you all mean well but this is ultimately my decision. This happened 8 years ago and I don't want to relive it. This will not just affect me, but my father, Katya and her mother as well. I just started out in my career. I cannot have the Kavanagh's coming after their businesses and their name. This is my final decision, please don't try and convince me otherwise."

"Ana, please reconsider. At least explore your options." Dad urges her but she shakes her head.

"It means the world to me that you want to help but my decision is made."

There wasn't much we could do to convince Ana. She became withdrawn after that. After dinner we went out for a walk on the beach but she barely said a word to me.

"Talk to me." I nuzzle in her neck while she lays in my embrace with her back to my front. We've been laying in bed for a while she's been lost in her thoughts.

She lightly shrugs. "There's nothing to say, it's just that, I haven't really talked about my mother's death... ever." She pauses. "I mean ever since things happened with Kavanagh. I've barely talked to Katya about it. I also kind of don't need to, she gets it because she went through it too but today, having to pour my heart like that in front of everyone..." her voice breaks.

"I'm sorry baby." I offer and hold her tight. "You can talk to me about anything, Ana."

She turns over and we lie ever closer, face to face. She looks into my eyes and gives me a small smile while her finger traces my lip. "I know."

I lean forward to give her a quick kiss but she pulls me in further to deepen in it and becomes urgent. We spend a few minutes making out and grinding against each other.

"Why couldn't you soundproof this room?" She asks out of the breath. I chuckle while kissing her neck.

"You're just going to have to work on trying to control yourself baby." I smirk before kissing the top of her nose.

"Fuck you, you like that I'm a screamer." She giggles.

I raise my face to look her in the eye. "You're right, I love hearing you scream my name but unless we want to scandalize everyone, you might want to keep that smart mouth shut while I fuck you."

She giggles as we make quick work of getting rid of our clothes. She stops me just before I get ready to enter her.

"Christian." Her voice breaks a little and she swallows, placing one hand on my cheek. "I'm falling in love with you."

I look at her stunned. Not because I don't feel the same way but because—

I see tears form in her eyes but she gives a small smile. "You don't have to say it back I just wanted—"

"I love you too, Ana." I cut her off. "I've been in love with you since I first saw you." I sink my cock into her and she gasps, closing her eyes. "I love you so much." I whisper as I begin slowly thrust into her.

She softly moans my name as I go at a slow pace, biting her lip and soon enough she's close.

APOV

We continue to quietly whisper I love yous while his hands roam all over my body.

I've got all the ladies in my head under padded lock and key in the basement but now that I've said what I needed to say and he's confirmed that he too feels the same way, I open the lock and peek in. I see all the ladies sitting on a metal trunk while Sabotage Susan screams to be let out from the inside of it. They're all grinning at me with thumbs up like a bunch of embarrassing moms.

Wedding & Family planner Wanda comes running at me, begging to plan the wedding but I silence her immediately. One emotional achievement at a time, I tell her.

"I love you." Christian whispers grazing his lips against mine and making me giggle. I'm lying in his embrace face to face on our sides.

"You just love fucking me." I sass and he spanks me hard that I gasp. I don't why, but it's hot. Painful but kinda hot. Not that I'd ever let him know.

I see Pornstar Pam look up from filing her nails. 'Bitch please, you'll tell him eventually."

"I love spanking you too." He smirks.

I take a deep breath. I need to make sure he's heard me from before. I don't know how billionaires think but I have a pretty good Idea that they're not used to being told no.

"Christian?"

"Yeah baby."

"Promise me you want go after Kate for what happened with me."

"Ana..." he tightens his jaw. I know he's not happy with my decision but it's my life that will be affected the most.

"Christian, it happened so long ago. I don't want to start something where I lose again. I won't be able to handle it. I've got my whole life ahead of me, I don't want the negative press to affect my credibility. Please try and understand."

"I can't let her terrorize you like this. I won't let her." He says with finality. And I place my hand on his cheek. I love him so much in this moment but I don't want to take a chance.

"Christian, please." He just stares at me. I know he's trying to somehow will me to concede but I've made up my mind. I lean in and give him small kisses and climb on top of him.

"Are you trying to sway me with sex?" he asks with his hands massaging my ass.

"Is it working?" I wiggle my eyebrows and he laughs.

Monday morning

CPOV

I wake up and find myself lying on Ana's stomach. I plant kisses leading up to her neck. She grumbles and tries to swat me away but I can see the smile on her face.

"Wake up." I whisper.

"Go away. I'm closed for business." She groans.

"I'm your only customer, you need me." I chuckle before thrusting two fingers in her core. She's warm and wet, like always. "You seem very open for business baby."

She moans trying to hide her face but I climb on top of her and consume her as she falls into a giggle fit.

After two rounds, she pushes me off and goes for a shower to get ready for breakfast. I know she wants me to back off from the Kavanaghs but there is no way in hell I'm letting that bitch off the hook. If I can't go after her for Ana then I'll catch them for something else and I will bury them in the ground.

From: Christian Grey
To: Francis Welch
Subject: Project K.
Date: July 6th, 2020 – 8:12AM

Welch. Project K. Full meltdown.

Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holding, Inc.

From: Francis Welch
To: Christian Grey
Subject: Project K. – commenced.
Date: July 6th, 2020 – 8:19AM

Commenced. I have a development. This conversation needs to be had in person. I will make an appointment with Andrea for tomorrow morning.

Francis Welch
Director of Security, Grey Enterprises Holding, Inc.

A/N: Full meltdown? BRING ON THE THERMONUCLEAR HELL!

Again, I'm terribly sorry for the delay.

NEW STORY ALERT: DON'T LEAVE ME HERE

What happens when you wait too long? Your secrets eventually catch up to you and you miss out on what's important and true.

Do I have a problem? Yes I do. My brain can't stand still. I have a new story called Don't Leave Me Here, an AU set in NYC.

Tis angsty but it's different from this one. It has 17 chapters so far and is narrators POV which is a new style for me. Check it out and let me know what you think!