"Boss, you got a minute?" PJ knocked on his doorframe
"Ahh sure what's up?" he took his glasses off
"It's about Maggie" he closed the door behind him
"Let me guess she refused to go home?" he sighed when PJ sat opposite him
"I don't know why you lot are always getting me to talk to her she never listens"
"I don't know about that, seems to me you're the only one who can get her to listen"
"Yeah well that didn't work last night" he huffed
"Did something happen after I left?" Tom placed his glasses down
"Define something"
"PJ…" he used his deep voice
"She was a little emotional and some items were thrown around the room"
"Items?"
"Specifically a photo of her and Robbie"
"Anything else?"
"Hmm-no not… not that I can think of" he quickly arose to stand
"PJ what aren't you telling me?" Tom followed suite
"Nothing" he shrugged moving towards the door
"PJ!"
"Look it's not.. it's not important" PJ held his hands up
"Did something happen between you two after I left?"
"Boss…" he began saying when a knock at his office interrupted them and PJ pulled back the door to reveal Maggie standing there
"What?" she looked between them both in confusion when Tom stared at her in surprise
"Nothing" he shook his head
"I didn't realise you were…"
"It's okay we were finished anyway" PJ cleared his throat
"PJ…" Tom tried to stop him, but he was already out of the office and moving towards his
"Is everything okay?" Maggie raised an eyebrow
"Fine, what can I do for you Doyle?" he sat back down
"Well you said when 'm ready we needed to talk about yesterday…"
"We don't have to do that now, what about the chicken berg you were working on with Stewart?"
"Open and shut case, the shop had a fresh out of the oven dozen when we arrived" she shrugged with a grin
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he looked at her sadly
"With all respect isn't it you who's always saying it's important to get the information right away?"
"Yeah but he's your brother"
"Was Boss… was my brother"
"Right sorry…"
"If you don't want to do it now, then I've got a stack of paperwork I could be doing" she pointed into the open area
"No.. no it's fine, do you want anyone to sit in? PJ? Maybe Ben?" he questioned
"Can it just be us?" she bit her inner lip
"If that's what you want"
"I don't need a scene made"
"Sure, come in sit down" he motioned to the chair opposite him
"Dosen't it need to be a recorded interview?" she closed his office door
"In this case I think it'll be okay" he pulled out a pen and paper
"You sure we shouldn't follow procedure?" she smiled sadly
"I know it's not going to be easy but.. just try and remember what you can" he picked up his glasses and placed them back on
"Where do I begin…" she took a deep breath
"Where ever you feel most comfortable"
"Right…" she bit her lip
"Maggie…" he sensed her holding back the tears, moving to stand he shifted around the desk leaning on it slightly he reached out for her hand slowly taking it in his "Loosing a loved one is never easy, no matter if their your brother, mother, cousin it's always going to hit hard"
"How… how did you get past it?" she croaked
"I didn't, I still don't loosing Nell was hard but I know she wouldn't want me to stay broken" he rubbed her hand for comfort
"He died… died right in…" she let out a breath at trying to still hold back the tears
"It's okay to cry everyonce in a while, it dosen't make you weak"
"Crying dosen't bring him back" she pulled her hand back and moved to stand
"Do you need some time off just too…"
"PJ's been in your ear?" she stood near the window
"No I'm speaking as your friend here not your Boss" Tom shook his head
"Being here it's…" she looked out the window at PJ who was laughing about something with Ben
"Doyle?" he shifted off his desk, stopping behind her he placed a hand on her shoulder
"He's not coming back"
"Maggie…" he looked at her sadly when she turned to face him
"He's not coming back, when we lose someone, when someone dies, they're gone forever and there is nothing, there is nothing… nothing we can do that is going to bring them back"
"I get your trying to protect yourself, putting this wall up but.."
"There's nothing wrong with that" she continued to hold her tears back
"Maybe not, but the wall of your will keep out so much more that just pain"
"I feel hopeless, I could do nothing to save him I couldn't save my own brother"
"No.. you did save him Doyle, when you arrested him all those months ago sending him in there kept him safe" Tom tried to assure her
"Not for long" she gave him a sad smile
"Don't keep yourself closed off Doyle, there are people here who care about you and all we want is for you to be happy" he wrapped his arms around her in a hug,
looking out the window sadly when she rested into him letting the tears fall
"The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them, if this is what love is supposed to feel like I don't… I don't want it"
"Oh no Maggie, you don't mean that" he rubbed her back
"It hurts I just want to make it stop"
"Death.. It's a rough one, you see the person every day and then… all of a sudden they're gone"
"Please can you just make it stop…" she struggled
"It will get better, you will feel whole again" he pulled back looking down at her now teary face
"And what if it dosen't"
"Then you'll always have us to make you whole again" he kissed her forehead
"Can we just get on with this…" she wiped her cheeks with the back of her sleeve
"Are you sure your…"
"If I don't do it now I'll have to do it later" she smiled sadly and moved back to the chair
"Sure" he nodded wiping his own tears away,
taking a deep breath he pulled down the curtain to give them some privacy from the prying eyes of her colleagues.
Exiting Tom's office an hour later Maggie smiled sadly at her colleagues when she entered the locker room
"Guys…" Tom moved into the open area
"Boss?" PJ questioned standing near the sign in book
"Maggie's going to take a few days off, there's some things she needs to sort out with the funeral and…"
"Is she okay?" Ben piped up
"I think she's struggling more then she cares to admit so, just take it easy with her for a while" he cleared his throat when Maggie entered with her bag
"I guess I'll see you when I see you" she stopped next to PJ signing out
"Take care of yourself Doyle" Nick patted her back on his way to the kitchen
"Can I have a word?" PJ looked at her hopeful
"Um.. sure" she nodded placing her bag down and following him into his office,
her eyes catching Ben's slightly when she closed the door behind her.
"You decided to take some time?" he stood near his desk
"Well the Boss he… he kind of didn't give me a choice" she grinned slightly
"Sure.."
"Listen PJ, about… about last night"
"You're having regrets"
"What?" her eyes widened
"About what we did, crossing that friendship boundary"
"No, no that's not.. are you?"
"Absolutely not" he reached a hand out for her,
she slowly took it and he pulled her to stand in front of him
"PJ…" she rested a hand on his chest "if this were the last time you were gonna see me, what would you say?"
"What?"
"Just.. hypothetically"
"Well firstly I'd say thank you" he looked at her sadly
"Thank you?"
"And then I'd say I love you and I always will"
"Don't do this" she pulled his hands off her waist and stepped back
"Well this is a goodbye isn't it?" he crossed his arms
"Don't make this harder than it needs to be"
"You're not just taking leave are you?" he sensed her hesitation
"I'm thinking about moving back to Melbourne…"
"Melbourne?"
"To be closer to Dad…"
"What about us?" his voice cracked
"There isn't an us, there's never been an us"
"Because you never let there be, Maggie last night I thought.."
"There's something else" she took a deep breath
"What else could there possibly be?"
"Ben saw us… this morning in the locker room"
"What hugging?" he tried to make a joke out of it
"No.. and there's more"
"Okay?"
"Ben.. he kissed me" she leant against the wall for support
"What?" he turned his back to her
"I understand if you hate me…" she watched him pace over to the window
"That's the problem…" he scoffed
"PJ…"
"I don't want to hate you Maggie"
"Why not, I don't deserve anything more"
"If I hate you then I have nothing left" he turned to face her again
"We can't do…"
"I will do whatever you want, just please…"
"I can't" she moved to the door jumping when PJ moved quicker and stopped in front of her leaning against the door
"Please stay"
"It dosen't matter what I do or what I choose you and I we don't have a future" she shook her head
"Mags…"
"If I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting everyone around me there's nothing I can do leaving it's the only option" she reached for the door handle
"If leaving is what you want…"
"PJ" she looked at him sadly
"I want you to know it's okay…"
"I love you I really do it's just…"
"It's okay… I understand.." he struggled moving aside from the door
"I'm sorry…"
"I know but I can't say it, saying the words it…" he tried to hold back the tears
"I leave tomorrow night, if you change your mind" she took a deep breath pulling back the door she made her exit.
...
"PJ?" he entered his office
"I'm really not in the mood" he rested back in his chair
"I know mate" he sat across from him
"Wasn't exactly an invite to sit down Nick"
"How long?" he crossed his arms
"What?" he shifted forward
"You and Maggie, how long have you been in love with her?"
"Ahh three, four years" he sighed
"And Maggie, she feels the same?"
"She's leaving Nick what does it matter now anyway?"
"If you love someone you have to tell them"
"She already knows mate, last night we both confessed we told each other how we felt and.."
"You slept together" he stated knowing it wasn't a question
"I told her it was okay Nick, I told her it was okay to go"
"Why the hell would you say that?"
"If she's not happy here I'm not going to make her stay no matter how much I…" he looked at him sadly
"You didn't say it did you?"
"Say it?"
"Goodbye"
"No… those words mean forever and if I don't say it maybe there will be hope"
"We're all going down to the pub after work you coming?" Nick moved to stand
"Nah mate, I don't think I'll be much company" he picked up his pen
"Don't stay here mate, wallowing by yourself won't achieve anything"
"Yeah"
"I'll shout ya a beer if you come?" he grinned stopping near the door
"Pretty sure you already owe me one from the last game of darts anyway" he laughed softly
"So I do" Nick nodded moving through the doorway
"Buy me a packet of chips as well as you've got a deal"
"Aww I suppose I can do that"
"Thanks Mate"
"Yeah, yeah"
"No I mean it Nick, thank you" he smiled sadly at him
"What else are friends for" he pulled the door closed,
dropping his pen back on his desk PJ ran his hands across his face his mind running over time.