Two of us

Word count: 1124 words

Note: I feel angsty so I'm gonna make people cry because I want to vent. I hope you enjoy this angst drabble!

Song that inspired this: Two of us by Louis Tomlinson

The dull ring of the bell signified yet another drawn out day of school had passed. The halls flooded with students of all grades either conversing with their friends and fellow classmates or rushing to their lockers to get out of the building to begin with their elaborate plans for the weekend.

One particular student sauntered out of one of the math rooms, his hazel colored eyes -which glimmered with dullness- scanned his surroundings with a severe lack of interest, his mind for whatever reason was racing more than usual. He neared the school library, with each step his heartbeat started to accelerate, his mind turning hazy.

Pushing the door open, he was met with what he now knew as the embodiment of sunshine. "Saga-Senpai!" He dragged his gaze to the lively underclassmen, his striking pair of emerald eyes lit up when they laid on his one true love. The frown on his face remained the same but his heart fluttered seeing that luminescent smile on the underclassmen's face.

How could something so insignificant as a smile ignite that warm fuzzy feeling within him?

The next thing he knew, he was sitting across from the brunette and was mindlessly listening to him babble on about another literary magazine he recently acquired. Seeing an excited Ritsu was a pleasant sight, the way his eyes glowed like that of shimmering stars in the night, with each word that came out of his mouth put him in a trance.

"Senpai? I have a surprise for you." When he was brought back to the real world, he was surprised that his brain didn't register Ritsu's nimble fingers ever so slightly touching his own, almost silently wanting his fingers to entwine with his own. A light hum was all that came out of his mouth, a part of him was genuinely curious as to what the underclassmen had gotten him this time.

Ritsu was usually the one to give him small gifts with some sort of meaning behind them, the item had either reminded Ritsu of him or based on a comment he offhandedly mentioned. While deep down it made him happy to know he was thinking of him, it made Saga feel loved. But he couldn't help but wonder how the hell did he remember such things. Was this a part of being in a relationship?

A colorful novel color caught his eye, a transparent cyan box was right in the middle with shimmering stars scattered throughout the cover. The moon, in its crescent phase, was safe inside the box with the words 'The box that held the moon' at the very top.

While his face betrayed nothing, his heartbeat drummed against his ribcage his gaze turned to his lover. How did he know Saga wanted to read this? His hand reached up to ruffle the man's hair with a small yet very genuine smile. It was his form of affection, he wasn't exactly great with expressing things with words. It was their own thing.

"I don't know what to say really." He started, opening the book to a random page as his smile widened. "Thank you Ritsu. I appreciate the gift."

It was at this point Saga Masamune knew he was in love. It was at this point he knew he had found his sunshine.

/GG/

Moonlight spilled into the dark messy room, the surroundings of the man who was laying on the bed was like that of a horrible watercolor piece from a toddler. Salty tears stained his once clean pillow cases as his brain played those bittersweet memories on repeat almost as though his brain was trying to tourture him. But at that moment, Saga felt he deserved it after letting the love of his life run away like that.

December 24th held two significant events. The day before christmas and his birthday. He just turned the ripe age of 20. Another birthday without Ritsu, another birthday back alone in suffocating silence without Sorata. He rummaged through his bed and his fingers grazed across smooth material underneath his pillow.

Saga pulled out a book from the pillow and while there was no light in the room he knew exactly what it was and why it was there. 3 years ago today, his ex lover had given him that very book as a birthday present, he could vividly remember what facial expression he had whilst giving it to him along his heart drumming in his chest as he saw a note folded and tucked in on the first page. Sure enough, when Saga opened the book the note was in its exact spot almost as though he hadn't opened it all those years. Running a hand through his hair he stood up and trudged towards the lightswitch, each step held sadness and regret.

Sadness for what his life had become, an emotional breakdown caused by finding out his love had a fiance and him and his father were not biologically related and regret for the chuckle that escaped him when the underclassman asked that innocent question. He loved him! No one had ever invoked such emotions out of him. Ritsu had given him hope that things could turn around, he was his sunshine. But his sunshine was gone all because of him.

The lightswitch flipped and the light temporarily blinded him. Rubbing his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of his messy room, clothes and books strewn across the bedroom the smell of his sorrow was overwhelming. He sat back down on his messy bed taking a deep breath before unfolding the note with shaking hands, his stomach twisted and churn in both fear and anticipation.

Happy birthday Senpai. I know things are not exactly ideal at home, I hope when things get dark you read this book and remember me. I love you

~Oda Ritsu

He just couldn't deal with the world. Such sweetness and consideration oozed out of a simple note. It was official, he knew he didn't deserve him. How could someone so kind, innocent and considerate ever put up with someone like him? It made absolutely no sense to the man. In the darkness of the room, a small voice temporarily filled the room with the occasional sorrow filled hiccup. "Ritsu, I'm so sorry, as long as we're apart I will always be sorry. I hope you're doing okay."

Saga clung onto the dwindling hope that one day him and Ritsu would be reunited. Just him and Saga and no one else.