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Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises, otherwise I'd be filthy rich and getting a massage and spa treatments while I write this.
ooOoo
To Be Forever Faithful
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 27: Self Admittance
Belegwen was falling. Quickly, Rumil rushed over and grabbed the female marchwarden before she hit the ground and did any further damage to herself. Immediately, he felt her hands latch onto his tunic weakly as she gasped for air. Rumil tried his best to hold her up as gently as he could; she looked terribly disoriented and pallid, her white cheeks tinted with a light bluish-lavender color that was also the shade of her fair lips. There were horribly large bruises of many putrid colors all around her neck, the angry marks emphasized by her paleness. Rumil could sense her fear, though she was trying to mesh her face into one of indifference.
She had almost died at the hands of an angry, murderous elf. Rumil knew that he surely looked as horrified as she after witnessing such a shocking scene:
"Good riddance!" The elf next to Rumil said with a chuckle as Marchwarden Belegwen declared to Erthalion that their duel was over. She had clearly been victorious and was smiling smugly as she turned away from him. "The great oaf deserved to be thrown off of his high horse after being in such a foul state for the past few months!"
Rumil turned to meet his companion's smiling eyes, only to hear a choir of gasps break out among the ranks. He turned his head back around and his eyes grew large with shock at the scene he was witnessing. Erthalion, a long-time warden and sworn protector of Lothlorien, was strangling a fellow elf!
"Vala," Rumil whispered, frozen with fear for a second, before bolting forward with several other wardens to fight off the traitor.
"STAND BACK OR I WILL BREAK HER NECK!" He screamed, staring at them in a threatening manner. He could do it and it appeared he would not hesitate to do so. The elf was mad! Rumil stopped in his tracks upon hearing this and slowly started to back up, fearing that Erthalion would break her neck if he did not. If that happened, it would all be over. While he was holding her like that, there was still a chance of her escaping.
"Erthalion," stated a very calm and reasonable Heledhril, ever the mediator, "Please, put her down. Your anger has spiraled out of control and you are going to kill her, Erthalion. You do not want the blood of an innocent life on your hands-"
"Oh, be quiet," Erthalion growled back while looking around to try and find where Heledhril was standing. "You do not know what I want!"
However, his search for Heledhril had distracted him and Marchwarden Belegwen seemed to realize this. Her restrained hand, which still held her sword, twitched a bit and then lashed out in an attack at Erthalion's face. Immediately, he screamed as she swiped his right ear, cutting the pointy tip clean off! Quickly, she was disarmed, Erthalion now seething at the loss of the Eldarin part of his ear. Because of it, he seemed to tighten his grip on her even more, ignoring the fact that his ear was bleeding profusely.
Belegwen's movements were now beginning to slow down. Rumil could see that it was going to be over soon, panicking at her grief-stricken face that was quickly turning more and more white. "Help! HELP!" He cried out desperately, scanning the fields for someone who could help before she died! "HALDIR!" He screamed, seeing his brother over at the archery range.
Haldir looked over his shoulder at them and a shocked expression flew over his features before he hid it. Immediately, he was barreling over, but came a few seconds too late, as right before he arrived, the Belegwen decided to take things into her own hands, tripping Erthalion quickly by pulling his legs out from under him, then grabbing up his sword and smacking him into the next century with the flat edge. Several wardens gasped and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared as she quickly tried to get up and away from her attacker.
"It is all over now." Rumil whispered to the shaking elleth, holding her up in her weakness. Not that he thought she was weak of course—any ellon or man who had been put in a situation like that would be frail afterwards. Lightly, he guided her chin up a little so he could inspect her bruises a bit closer.
"Oh dear Vala!" He whispered, looking at the colorful abrasions. There were light and dark greens, blues, and purples all over the front of her neck. It looked absolutely dreadful.
A wave of guilt crashed over Rumil as he let go of her chin to hold her up more steadily. If only there had been something that he could have done to help prevent this! None of the elves had dared to move though, all believing that Erthalion surely would have broken her neck as he had threatened.
Rumil felt a tear run down his cheek as he held her closer. The tension had been so great! Vala, he thought he would see her die right there just after having befriended her. To die at the hands of an orc was one thing, an unpreventable problem for some wardens and a dangerous possibility that came along with their job description. However, to die at the hands of an elf, that would have been a real tragedy. Rumil did not know how he would have dealt with something of that nature or even if he could.
"Here, let me help you." A quiet voice said, taking one of Belegwen's arms off of him. It was Heledhril, who looked very concerned and distressed over the current situation. Heledhril pulled her right arm over his shoulder and Rumil put her left arm over his own so that she was balanced between the two of them. "Let's lower her to the ground now." Heledhril commanded, slowly descending to his knees as Rumil mimicked the motion, using his other arm to push her shaky legs out from under her body and into a comfortable sitting position.
"Marchwarden," Heledhril questioned, directing her face towards him with a light touch, "Are you getting enough air?"
She nodded a bit. Rumil watched as Heledhril opened his mouth to ask another question, but then stopped as a shadow fell over him.
It was Haldir and he did not look happy.
ooOoo
Haldir found that his head was spinning at this whole incident. His heart was beating terribly fast and he could not seem to get it to calm down. Belegwen had been strangled. Strangled! And by one of her own, a warden of Lothlorien! A warden whom Haldir had thought was respectable! A warden whom he had previously considered skilled enough to work as a second to himself!
He glanced down at Belegwen and grimaced. She looked as pale as a death, unsteady and… was being held in Rumil's arms?! Shock, anger, and a thousand other emotions flew over him in waves, though he did not let it show on his physical features. "No," he thought to himself, "You must not worry about that right now! Save it for later!" After focusing his thoughts, he ripped his eyes away from that sight and focused on the problem that was laying in the grass by his feet.
It appeared that Erthalion had not faired well in his last moments of the battle and had sustained quite a few wounds. There were two places on his body that had slashes: both his chest and his head, but there was also a chunk missing from the top of his ear, which was bleeding profusely. His other ear seemed to be bleeding too, but the blood was coming from inside of the ear. "That cannot be good." Haldir thought, furrowing his brow as he got down on his knees to examine the traitor.
Grabbing up Erthalion's wrist, Haldir pushed his fingers against the limp flesh as he tried to feel for a pulse. "Sir, is he still alive?" He heard a warden ask. Haldir looked up to find that he was surrounded by quite a few of the wardens who were in Belegwen's class, all bearing differing emotions upon their faces.
"Yes. He has a pulse." He said in a dark voice. He had never in all of his years dealt with a traitor in the woods who was an elf and was not certain how this situation would play out.
"Tell me how this came to be." He demanded, looking at the wardens around him to see who could recant the story to him.
The tall warden who had previously asked the question knelt down to face Haldir and started recalling the terrible tale. "Sir, Erthalion was angry and questioned Marchwarden Belegwen's swordsmanship skills at the beginning of the class, saying she had not taken the class that she is teaching currently. He challenged her to a duel and she agreed to it. They abided by all of the formal dueling rules, sir, and Marchwarden Belegwen was soon triumphant. However, Erthalion refused to admit defeat when she had him at the neck. After a while, she declared the duel was over and turned away. The moment she turned away, sir, Erthalion attacked her and started to strangle her. Many wardens came forward to try and save her, but Erthalion threatened to break her neck. We were all quite certain he would if we moved, so we stayed still and Rumil called to you. Marchwarden Belegwen freed herself before you got here though and knocked Erthalion out with the flat edge of her sword, but I am certain you witnessed that part yourself." He finished softly, looking at Haldir with haunted eyes for most of the tale.
"Very well then," Haldir stated, then quickly gathered his thoughts together again to issue orders. "You two," He said, pointing to two silver-haired wardens in the crowd, "Go retrieve a litter from one of the healer's telain, then come back, load Erthalion up and carry him there. You are to remain there guarding him until I send others to relieve you. Keep a close watch on the traitor and do not allow him to harm anyone if he wakes up. The rest of you are dismissed."
As the elves around him dispersed, Haldir took one last look at the traitor before getting up. His eyes turned now to the victim, who was sitting in silence with an elf kneeling at each side, holding her up, as well as a few other concerned loiterers who were standing behind them.
She looked ill, to say the least. Haldir bit his lip in concern as he approached her and found himself getting angrier and angrier by the second about what Erthalion had done. Such treason, an elf hurting an elf with a thirst for blood! How dare he! How dare he hurt the one he cared for so deeply!
"I have special jobs for you both." He commanded upon arriving a few feet away from the group. "Rumil, I need you to teach my Intermediate Knife Skills class for today. All you need to do is review some beginning skills. Feel free to dismiss them as soon as you are done; you need not fill the entire two hours. Heledhril, you are to wait here until Marchwarden Belegwen's next class arrives and inform them that their class will be postponed until further notice. I will escort Belegwen to the healer's talan immediately." He said, motioning for the two wardens to lift her to her feet.
Gently, Haldir lifted her chin in the same way that Heledhril had so she would look at him. "Can you walk at all?" He asked softly, looking into her eyes, which now seemed a little more focused than they had previously been. She nodded a bit, but when she tried to step away from Rumil and Heledhril, she almost collapsed, but was quickly caught in Haldir's arms. Cautiously, he lifted her into his arms and started to head towards the healer's talan at a fast walk. Really, he wanted to run because of her poor condition, but Haldir restrained himself, as jostling her around might make the situation worse.
He found himself suddenly looking down at her as he felt her grip the front of his tunic. "Am I hurting you?" He quickly questioned, noting that the look of pain in her eyes had returned.
She opened her mouth and tried to say something, but the only sound she could produce was a small rasping noise. Frowning even more, she shook her head no and then leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. After Haldir checked to make sure no one was looking, he caressed her arm a bit, trying to provide a bit of comfort to her in her time of need. "Everything is going to be okay." He whispered to her, "We are almost there."
About a minute later, Haldir reached Eltirwen's talan. Ever so carefully, Haldir ascended the stairs, trying his best not to let her feet drag against the side of the mallorn. The moment his feet reached the top of the wooden landing, he pushed through the door to Eltirwen's talan without knocking.
"ELTIRWEN!" He yelled loudly when he did not see her upon his entry into the talan. This, naturally, was followed by the sound of a gasp, glass breaking, and a few choice words that need not be repeated. A few moments later, Haldir could hear angry footsteps stomping towards him.
"Confound it all, Marchwarden Haldir! Why do you never knock before enter-oh!" Eltirwen exclaimed, forgetting all of her irritation towards Haldir upon seeing Belegwen. Shock filled her eyes as she rushed over to examine Belegwen's neck. "Oh! Oh dear Vala! Haldir, what happened?" She whispered, already noticeably upset about seeing the terrible marks that Belegwen bore on her neck.
"She was attacked and strangled." Haldir said, following Eltirwen as she motioned him towards one of the patient rooms in the talan. He hastily placed Belegwen down on the bed as Eltirwen grabbed three large, fluffy pillows from one of the room's closets and propped Belegwen up with them so that she was sitting in a reclined fashion. Haldir automatically stepped aside so that Eltirwen could do her work after she got Belegwen comfortable. Once she was done arranging Belegwen on the pillows, Eltirwen bent down to take a closer look at the colorful bruises that were adorning Belegwen's neck.
"Oh dear, it is swelling." She said softly to herself, the reached down to tenderly touch one of the marks, but when her fingers made contact with Belegwen's flesh, a sharp hiss was heard and Belegwen launched herself in the opposite direction, panic obvious in her eyes.
Eltirwen looked rather sad at this. Quietly, she looked Belegwen straight in the eyes and said in a soft voice, "I am so sorry this happened Belegwen. I shall do my very best to help heal you." Then, after giving her shoulder an encouraging squeeze, Eltirwen walked over to the large set of cabinets that were in the room and started rummaging through their contents until she had removed a few items.
"Okay my dear, first you need a spoonful of this. It tastes horrid, but it will help the swelling in your throat go down." Eltirwen stated, smiling at her as she poured a large spoonful of a thick, burgundy syrup and put it up to Belegwen's lips. "Tilt your head back a bit so that it will be easier to swallow."
Haldir watched as Belegwen grimaced when she swallowed. Apparently the pain would make it rather hard for her to ingest anything for a while. Guilt suddenly washed over Haldir at once. "If only I had gotten there faster-"
However, his grim thoughts only earned him a hefty slap on his shoulder. "Now is no time to be on a guilt trip. Here, you can administer four whiffs of this these smelling salts while I prepare her a bath." She commanded, surprising Haldir.
"How did you know what I was thinking?" He questioned quietly.
"I have only seen that face a thousand times before." Eltirwen said as she left the room. "Do not forget the smelling salts!" She called out from the hall.
ooOoo
From the bathtub, Belegwen could hear two voices whispering furiously to each other in the next room over. Craning her head back a bit, she tried to make sense of what they were saying, but found that she could not understand them, being slightly out of hearing range. Slowly, she let herself sink back into the steaming, herb-filled waters. She stared at her small figure as she laid down as well as she could in the small tub. Her body was wrapped in a soft navy blue sheet that had come off Eltirwen's bed in order to maintain her modesty, as Eltirwen had needed Haldir to carry her and set her down in the tub.
Not that he had not seen everything before, of course, but Eltirwen did not know about that.
Deciding that it was best not to think about Haldir at this time, Belegwen closed her eyes and tried her best to relax. However, when she shut her eyes, she saw Erthalion's eyes glaring back at her and she immediately snapped them back open again. Those eyes would haunt her dreams now.
He had tried to kill her, of this she had no doubt. She would not ever forget the feel of his hands around her neck, her burning lungs, the sea... For the first time in all of her long years, she had felt the sea calling to her and she had welcomed it at the time. Death had been so near that it scared her to think about it.
"Oh Vala." She whimpered to herself, pulling her legs close to her body and wrapping her arms around them protectively. Wanting to be even smaller, she leaned in more and rested her head against her legs now, curling into a ball. She did not move when she heard the other two elves enter her room again, as she was gravely upset.
Belegwen heard Eltirwen sigh as she felt the healer's hand rest upon the top of her head, stroking her dry part of her hair soothingly. "I'm sorry I have to do this, my dear. This will only take a minute." She said softly. Confused, Belegwen lifted her head to look at the healer, only to feel a great burning sensation as a rag with some sort of cream on it touched her neck.
"NO!" She rasped and maneuvered away from the healer who had inflicted pain upon her neck, splashing water out of the bath in the process.
She looked up at Eltirwen, totally bewildered, only to see her giving some sort of signal to Haldir with her eyes. Before she could move away, Belegwen felt his strong arms embrace her, holding her in place firmly. "I am sorry my dear, but this is for your own good. It will just take a second if you hold still." Eltirwen offered her, looking at her in a concerned fashion.
Her hand was reaching for Belegwen's neck again. Panicking once again, Belegwen struggled as much as she could, then yanked herself forward with all of her might to avoid the touch of the cloth.
This resulted in pandemonium.
A giant splash could be heard behind her as water seeped out of the tub when the Marchwarden of the Galadhrim was pulled in! Though slightly shocked that Haldir was in the tub with her, Belegwen continued to struggle against his iron grip. Water poured out of the tub while their bodies fought each other.
Finally, she found herself giving up though, as Haldir had managed to push her up against his chest and was now holding her there quite tightly. "Do it now Eltirwen!" He called out to her.
Again, Belegwen resisted him with all of her might, but it was to no avail. In her weakened state, she could not pull herself away from him. He was simply too powerful. Biting her lip, she writhed in pain as the cloth touched her neck, burning her battered neck with every stroke, no matter how light. She desperately wanted to cry, as the two elves tried to help her quickly, but she held it in. She could never cry in front of Haldir; he would think her weak and pathetic and Belegwen could not have that, not after she had earned his respect as a leader.
Finally, the pain subsided as the cloth was taken away. Still tensed up, Belegwen wheezed a bit, trying to catch her breath after all of her struggling. She felt Haldir's strong arms finally slacken a bit, but they did not fully let her go just yet.
"Haldir, are you okay?" She heard Eltirwen ask, sounding a bit worried. "It looked like it hurt when you were pulled into the water."
"I am fine." Belegwen heard him reply abruptly, feeling his chest rumble a bit as he said it. "Though I shall require some new clothes. I cannot walk through Caras Galadhon looking like this."
"Oh, very well. I shall go find a maid in the warden's hall and have her bring me some of your clothing. I will return quickly. Sit tight and do not get out of that tub until I get back and clean up all of this water! I do not want to treat more injuries when I get back because you slipped and fell! And yes, that means you Haldir!" She called out loudly, turning to point at Haldir for emphasis before she turned and carefully left the wet room.
Both wardens sat in silence, staying completely still until they heard Eltirwen's door open and close, signaling her exit from the talan. Then, both breathed a sigh of relief at the same time and sunk deeper into the tub, Haldir's arms wrapping around her once again and pulling her very close to him.
"Are you okay? Can you speak?" She heard him ask her, his lips touching her ear lightly as he questioned her.
Belegwen leaned into him as best as she could and tried to relax against his chest. "I think so, yes." She said, though she was immediately appalled by her warped voice that refused to raise its tone above a whisper. She frowned at this. "I sound terrible."
"You look terrible too. You should see that neck of yours; it is quite a sight to behold." Haldir said to her softly. "Are you certain you are okay? Can you breathe well?" He asked quickly, rubbing her stomach ever so gently in an attempt to comfort her.
Though he was trying to hide it, Belegwen could hear the worry in his voice. Smiling a bit, she slowly rotated to her side so she could look at him. She smiled even more at the sight; there he was, fully clothed in the bath, looking down at her with great intensely. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled into his neck. "I can breathe better than earlier, though it is not back to normal yet." She rasped softly, stroking his cheek and looking up at him, "There is no need to worry about me."
He now looked a little uneasy. She saw glistening in the corners of his eyes, unshed tears that were on the verge of falling. He held them in though, seemingly unwilling to let them fall in her presence currently. She stared into his eyes and saw that his walls were once again down. His very soul, pure and kind, was staring back at her and his worry for her was quite visible. "I though... I mean, it looked like you might…" He whispered after a while, raising a hand to stroke her cheek gently.
"I know," she whispered, placing her hand over his when it stopped moving on her cheek, "I heard the sea call out to me." She murmured in a haunted voice, her eyes widening as she remembered the terrible moment again. "I was scared."
"You had reason to be." He said softly, then bent down to kiss her. All he managed was a small peck before he pulled away though, as they both heard the door open, marking Eltirwen's return.
And the secret remained a secret for the time being.
ooOoo
"There." Haldir stated as he finished tucking Belegwen into her own bed. Eltirwen had released her an hour ago, saying that she would send special broths down to the dining hall for Belegwen to consume until her throat had recovered enough for her to have solid food. Other than her neck, there was nothing really wrong with her and so Haldir had escorted her back to her talan, despite the fact that he was still a little worried about leaving her alone for the night.
"Do you want me to stay?" He asked her as he situated a small extra pillow under her neck, just as Eltirwen had instructed.
"Yes, please. I do not wish to be alone tonight." She whispered, looking a bit nervous. Immediately, she looked away from him. "I am sorry. I should not burden you with this."
"It is not a burden." Haldir said, shaking his head. "You are not a burden to me."
He quickly took off his tunic and undershirt, then tossed them aside before getting into the small bed with her, being careful not to disturb her neck. He laid down on his stomach and placed his arm around her, resting it just beneath her breasts. He turned his head to the side so he could look at her, but frowned when he saw that she was not happy.
"You must think me weak then, which is almost a worse predicament." She said sadly.
"Weak?" He questioned in disbelief. Quickly, he adjusted himself so he was holding up his weight on his elbows, then used one of his hands and lightly turned her head so that she was facing him. "Why would I think you weak? You are my second—you best me at swordplay all the time! You have never turned away from danger, but faced it with all of your strength and intellect. You have narrowly evaded death on several occasions, yet you still battle on, ever the warrior! My dearest Belegwen, you are by no means weak. Never have I thought that about you. Never." He said passionately, hoping to relieve some of her self-doubts.
A long time passed where she simply stared into his eyes, thinking about what he had said. Finally, a small smile touched the corners of her mouth. He smiled back at her and reached out to stroke her silvery hair, twisting a tendril around his finger after he ran his hand all the way to the bottom of the locks.
Silence reigned now. Slowly, he felt her shift in the bed and roll towards him, her lips caressing his and putting him into a state of pure ecstasy with their languid motions. They found a new rhythm on this night, softer and gentler than ever before. Slowly, they rolled over together as one, their bodies burning with desire for one another.
"I need you." She whispered softly before leaning up and bestowing him with another sensual kiss.
Haldir broke away from her kiss for a second after hearing this. "Are you certain?" He asked, questioning her with his eyes. Indeed, he knew she was not weak, but any elf would surely be tired and in pain after going through what she had endured during the day. He did not want to hurt her or inhibit her healing in any way.
"Yes!" She said more urgently now, grasping his buttocks and pulling him in as close to her body as she could. "Please Haldir, I need this. I need you." She rasped, desperation in her voice.
That was all the invitation that Haldir needed. With an arrogant grin on his face, he kissed her passionately, pulling her against him carefully as he caressed her back. All he could think about was pleasuring his lady. "Yes," he thought to himself, "She is my sweet warden and all that I want."
Haldir gave in. Long had he avoided thoughts about her being anything special to him, but looking down at her now as her face scrunched up with pleasure at his ministrations, he knew he would love no other.
He loved her.
Haldir shivered at the thought. It was all so new to him and overwhelming, yet he could not stop thinking about it as he touched her. What would it be like to have her at his side for all time? Was it possible? Would she want it?
He wanted it.
He wanted it badly.
As he joined with her on this night, he thought about marriage, even though he knew it was impossible. He thought about them being in public together, not having to guard their actions. He thought about elflings…
Elflings.
What Haldir did not know was that Belegwen was thinking about the exact same thing.
ooOoo
Edited by P.G. on 05/26/20.
Did you like it? Was there too much fluff? Let me know what you think! Have a great day!
-P.G.
