The first thing to greet Shinji when he awoke was that familiar white ceiling. It's brightness stung at his aching eyes, and the smell of chemicals lingered in the air, creating a stagnant sense of death.

"Good to see you're awake." The unwanted voice of Kurtz roared into Shinji's thoughts.

Shinji groaned, and attempted to ignore the invasive presence. "You're not getting away that easy by the way, I've been cooped up way too long with nothing to do, so you better believe I'm gonna keep talking." Kurtz spoke with a huff.

"Fine… go ahead…" Shinji spoke, desperately trying to keep quiet and hope Kurtz would leave him alone, which seemed less possible the more time went on.

"Listen kid, you've got problems big time. During our little charade with Perceros, we attracted your boss's attention. That blonde bitch doctor's been scanning your head a lot, trying to find out whatever provoked the Evangelion to go berserk." Kurtz laughed. "Ahh if only her and that one you call 'Misato' knew what was really in your head…" Kurtz sighed at this, and Shinji kept listening, unsure of what to do. "Shinji, we seriously need to talk about you, all kidding aside. I've been trapped in your mind for the last three days you've been out with nothing to do besides shift through your memories, and if you keep doing this to Rei, Misato and Asuka...well that's hell you're walking into. They will leave you, Rei and Misato have done nothing but try and be kind to you and you've done jack shit for them man, seriously" Kurtz lamented

"But… they only want me around to pilot the Eva… just like Father does… that's all anyone wants of me." Shinji softly spoke, as tears formed at the edge of his eyes.

"That's damn untrue and you know it, you're too self centered to admit it. Maybe at first that's what Misato wanted, but she's grown to care about you, Rei has too. And you know Rei doesn't care about you piloting Eva. Your father's a cold asshole, I don't know why you still try and impress the bastard. Seriously Shinji, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong and that you believe I'm wrong one hundred percent." Kurtz spoke.

"You're...you're wrong! I know it! None of them care! If they really cared they wouldn't make me pilot Eva… they'd let me be normal like Toji… or Kensuke…" Shinji cried

"Christ kid… you're being the very definition of pathetic right now. Somehow Shinji you've managed to convince yourself everyone is out to get you. No one in this world gives a flying fuck about you Shinji, you and I both know this. So tell me, if they don't care, then why do you pilot Eva?"

"Because Father wants me too… and Misato… even if they don't care… at least when I pilot Eva they pay attention to me…" As Shinji spoke, Kurtz mentally slapped him.

"That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever… ever heard. You're so fucking arrogant that you're blind to even your own thoughts Shinji. You're right about only one thing, you pilot Eva for people's attention. Not because they won't pay attention to you otherwise, but because it strokes your ego. You pilot that giant metal heap because it makes you feel special, as if you're more important than anyone else. And you cover all of this shit up with a faux sense of self entitlement and victimization. Everything is either NERV or your father's fault when it isn't, and you know it Shinji. So as long I'm stuck with you, you will be knocking this shit off. It's pathetic Shinji, it's fucking pathetic." With that, Kurtz disappeared from Shinji's mind for a while, leaving the boy with tears in his eyes and taking the words from his mouth.

Misato looked at her watch with a huff, and it read 18:15. Asuka was supposed to be out of surgery a quarter of an hour ago, yet here Misato was waiting on her to be finished up. Impatiently she tapped her foot against the cool tile floor, disgusted at having to wait and unnerved at the silence of the NERV hospital's waiting room. Misato looked up and the bright lights, and surveyed the rest of the room. All of it was white, bleach white, as if someone was waiting at the pearly gates of Heaven.

"Miss Katsuragi? " A solemn voice rang into the waiting room. Misato looked up and hesitated to respond.

A "Umm, I'm here" escaped her lips, and as it did an thinly looking old man made his way into the room. His disheveled coat had small stains of blood on it, and in his hand he carried a clipboard with uneven papers clipped to it.

"Miss Katsuragi? I am Doctor Mori. I was in charge of the Second Child's recovery surgery, and I am pleased to announce everything went well" Misato sighed and allowed her posture to slump at hearing this "-But I'm afraid there was one scar we couldn't completely remove. It runs down the inside of her left thigh. Luckily it is not too noticeable, but be warned she will never forget it is there, and it will stay on her mind for the rest of her life. Which brings me to my second point" Dr. Mori said with a sigh, and adjusted his glasses as he peered at his clipboard. "Sadly the worst of the damage was not something we can so easily fix. Her external injuries were minimal, but psychologically she will be extremely scarred by this Miss Katsuragi. I'm afraid the damage isn't in the sense of something like a car crash where the victim displays paranoia and a general unease of things for a few months or so. With the Second Child it couldn't be this simple, but her Ego will be shattered. She is fully capable physically to pilot the Evangelion, which I know is all that you and NERV care about, but mentally she may never have the desire to pilot again, or the rashness that she used to display. The Second Child's ego, if I may be so bold, has always been… damaged... to put it lightly. Every medical record on her lists this, every psychological evaluation NERV has ever done on her lists this."

"What are you implying, Doctor." Misato coldly spoke.

"Miss Katsuragi… to put it bluntly… the Second Child has been broken since youth. The brash, bombastic 'I can do everything' and 'I'm the best at everything' persona she has displayed is nothing more than a façade. In reality all she displays it for is for attention but to also push people away. She doesn't want them close enough to hurt her. Since this ego of hers has been crushed, she may develop depressive symptoms, if she does and they persist, bring her back and we can schedule therapy for her. One other thing, judging by the reports, her and the Third aren't too different psychologically, so maybe try to get them to interact a bit more. It may help them." Dr. Mori concluded, and walked out of the waiting room. Misato stifled calling out to the old doctor, and merely stood there, guilt ridden and defeated for no real reason at all.

Two days had passed since Shinji had been released from the hospital, and he hadn't heard from Kurtz at all. Shinji felt saddened by this. He knew the man was right, but he struggled to accept that.

For Shinji, today was supposed to be important. He and his father were meeting at his mother's grave. But for some reason it didn't feel right to Shinji, his father was even quieter than usual. Neither spoke to the other for the entire trip, even when Shinji sat flowers upon his mother's grave. Until finally Gendo spoke.

"Man survives by forgetting his memories, but there are some things a man should never forget. Yui taught me that… I have no pictures of her anywhere, nothing but what is in my heart to remember her by…"

Shinji didn't know what to make of his father's words. But Kurtz did. "It's his way of covering the fact that he's running away from the pain that she's gone. You two aren't as different as you'd like to think Shinji." Kurtz lamented, and with his words, was gone.

Shinji felt Gendo turn around, and when Shinji turned around he heard Gendo start to speak. "It's time, I'm leaving now." Gendo stated in his usual monotone voice.

"Father! I umm.. I'm glad I got to talk to you today…" Shinji said, his cheerfulness in vain. As Gendo simply walked away, unfazed by what the boy had said to him.

"Don't lie to yourself, it only makes it hurt worse in the end…" The haunting voice of Kurtz burned into Shinji's mind. And with those words, Shinji was left confused… and alone.

Author's note: All Properties go to their respectful owners. I do not own Evangelion nor do I claim to own Evangelion, I simply came up with the idea for Kurtz and this story.