Welcome back to TBFF! A special thanks goes out to Arwan, PrettyRecklessLaura, and virgo-valentina for their reviews on the last chapter. I appreciate your support. Thanks again to all for reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Lord of the Rings or Tolkien Enterprises.
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To Be Forever Faithful
By: Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 41: Married
"There, much better." Belegwen said as she put one final stitch into Haldir's cheek where the orc's blade had sliced it open. She originally thought Haldir had just been nicked, but upon closer inspection, Belegwen found the orc's sword had actually penetrated all the way through his cheek. It needed to be sewn back together. Using her amateur skills, Belegwen had rendered his cheek back together carefully, hoping she would be able to heal it enough that it would not leave a scar on Haldir's otherwise unmarred face.
Limping a little as she walked, Belegwen went to fetch Linedhel and have him check her work. The healer rapidly examined Haldir's cheek then said, "Yes, this will do just fine. Now you should try and use your spirit to encourage the wound to heal. You will focus energy from deep within yourself and propel it into the wound as you have seen me do several times now. It takes concentration. This is difficult to accomplish before you understand the feeling you are trying to achieve. Try it on your own for a while first. I will come and help you later, if necessary."
Linedhel rushed off to continue working with the last of the soldiers who had not yet been tended, leaving Belegwen with Haldir at the front of the healing cart. It was dark now, though the night was lit up with a few campfires, as well as several massive fires in the distance where remains of the orcs and wargs were being burnt into ashes. The smoke rising up from the bodies left an unpleasant smell lingering in the air, despite the great distance they had put between themselves and the carcasses.
Turning back to Haldir, Belegwen watched as he indicated with a pat of his hand that she should sit on the cart to take the pressure off her injured leg. Quickly hoisting herself onto the platform, Belegwen found that Haldir was at eye-level with her while standing directly in front of her, waiting for the healing she would attempt.
Gently, Belegwen lifted her hand to his cheek and placed it carefully upon the sewn up wound. Her eyes immediately met with his and she was nearly overwrought with the desire to kiss him soundly. From within his mind, she felt an identical sentiment coming from him as he smiled at her knowingly. Belegwen looked down for a moment, smiling nervously and letting out a long sigh before she looked at him once more, having gotten a better grip on her self-control.
"Perhaps it does not matter anymore. All the soldiers speculate about us now anyway." She mused to him within her mind.
"I agree, yet I feel a sense of propriety from us will help keep the rumors from growing out of control." Haldir answered back from within the confines of their shared minds.
Belegwen nodded in agreement, then shut her eyes and tried to concentrate on using the spirit within her to heal his cheek wound. She felt Haldir's mind go blank also and was thankful that he was trying to help her focus.
After a few minutes, she felt an unusual heat start to build up within her hand, which radiated onto Haldir's face. Gasping, Belegwen was surprised when the heat turned around and pulsed back into her own hand. She felt the heat pass through her body and down to her injured leg, calming the throbbing pain immediately. It then looped back through her and into his cheek, passing back and forth between them with immeasurable speed.
A few moments later, Belegwen could no longer withstand the strong power coursing through the two of them and let go, causing Haldir to grunt and stumble a bit as the healing connection was lost. "What was that?" He asked quickly, looking a bit startled and staring at her in shock.
"I know not." Belegwen answered slowly, staring down at her fingers in awe. She had managed to partially heal Haldir with her spirit and now, in turn, she felt much better herself for some reason. In fact, her leg hardly hurt at all.
What had happened just now between them?
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Haldir eyed the fires burning in the distance as he stood watch on the edge of the camp. He was exhausted after the skirmish with the wargs, but still took his spot as a lookout, ever vigilant of the possibility that additional dangers lurked in the tall grasses surrounding them.
In his mind, he thought back to earlier when Belegwen had healed his cheek. In the past, Haldir had allowed other learning elves to practice spirit healing on him, but found himself impressed with the speed in which Belegwen had caught onto it. Usually the first few tries were not successful for a new healer. However, once she had actually concentrated, Belegwen had been able to partially heal his cheek while only holding onto him for a few seconds.
It had been an odd few seconds though. Not only had Haldir felt her healing him, but the power she had pushed into him had formed a circular conduit of sorts. He had felt her power both going into him and leaving him all at the same time. This was a sensation Haldir had never felt before and he had been healed a great many times in his life.
"So, when were you planning on telling me?" A familiar voice said from behind him, interrupting his thoughts. Internally, Haldir sighed. He had known this conversation would happen eventually.
"Bragolith," Haldir said to acknowledge him, turning sideways to see the warden approaching him. He did not reply to the inquiry, though he was certain his silence said much more than words to his childhood friend.
"Do not play your coy little game with me, brother." Bragolith said, having called Haldir his brother since long before Orophin and Rumil had been born. When they had first met as young elflings, they had been as inseparable as brothers and, if Haldir was honest with himself, he still considered Bragolith to be one of his brothers today.
Bragolith crossed his arms in front of him and leaned in to whisper quietly to him. "You know very well I speak of Belegwen. When did this happen?"
Haldir could tell he was trying not to gain the attention of the other soldiers who were standing guard near them. With an air of discomfort lingering about his persona, Haldir silently led Bragolith further away from the circle so they could speak without the fear of being overheard. In the darkness, Bragolith's grey eyes caught the light of a distant campfire and shined with intensity as they once again met his own. "Well?"
Feeling uncomfortable was an understatement for Haldir as he tried to think of the right words to tell his friend without saying too much. It was really hard for Haldir to state what had happened between him and Belegwen because he was not even certain how this had come about. He knew he could not lie to Bragolith though. He knew Haldir too well and would see right through it.
"It started when she was appointed as my second by Lady Galadriel. We spent so much time together that we… we grew fond of each other." He said, stuttering a bit at the end. Unaccustomed to talking about romantic feelings with anyone, he could feel this conversation would test and vex him more than any other he had endured recently.
"You mean she finally grew fond of you and returned your feelings. I had no idea you were still trying to pursue her after all of this time! Dearest Valar, you have loved her since before she turned 50 and finally, after all these years you have won her heart!" Bragolith exclaimed quietly, looking positively shocked with Haldir.
"I have not loved her since she was 50!" Haldir hissed, immediately denying the claim. Bragolith had hit a nerve and now unwelcome memories from his youth were flooding back into his mind. He had chosen not to dwell on them for a reason.
"You would really deny it to me of all elves, Haldir? I was there when you met her brother! I saw the look on your face when you first spoke with her. Tell me you did not fall in love with her then." Bragolith said, challenging him with his eyes to say otherwise. When Haldir said nothing in return, Bragolith had his answer and continued.
"I know you remember the day Lord Celeborn rode out to the northern border to meet with Marchwarden Annondel and brought along his young ward, leaving her on our talan to explore while they spoke in private on another one. Do you not remember what happened next?" Bragolith asked, clearly trying to bait him into admitting his feelings.
Haldir sighed as he turned away from Bragolith. In his mind, he remembered that day vividly. It had been the first time he ever laid eyes upon Belegwen. She had worn a lavender dress and was thinner than she was now, as if she had not quite grown into her adult figure just yet. She had lacked the well-defined muscles she now sported, having not yet trained a day in her life at that point. Her silver hair had been unadorned and unbraided, cascading gently down her back with a soft and smooth appearance that had made him wish he could reach out and touch it at the time.
"Yes, I remember how you tried to woo her, flirting with her repeatedly until she was terribly cross with you, though she would not admit it out loud." Haldir said, rolling his eyes as he remembered how 'friendly' Bragolith had been with ellyth in those days.
Thankfully, he had grown out of that phase quickly, marrying and having a family of his own before he turned 700 years old. Now Bragolith's elflings were fully grown, off having families of their own while he continued to serve on the border patrols as faithfully as he always had.
From behind him, Haldir could hear Bragolith chuckling lightly. "Yes, but you should thank me for it because it made her focus all of her attentions on you! After all, we both had our bows with us, but she only asked you to show yours off to her." He said with good humor in his voice.
It had been the first time Haldir had seen her smile. Belegwen had looked so serious when she first arrived on the talan, but holding his Galadhrim bow in her hands had brought her a measure of joy. She had been so beautiful in that moment as he taught her how to hold it in both resting and ready positions, his hands resting carefully upon her own for the very first time-
"You blush, brother!" Bragolith teased, having walked around to face him once again. He was no longer minding the volume of his voice, which earned him a loud shushing sound from a mortified Haldir. Bragolith quickly quieted down before replying, "The truth is evident on your face! The two of you both fell in love that day! You fell in love with Belegwen and she fell in love with your bow!"
It was true; if Belegwen had felt anything for him that day, it had not shown. Even when Lord Celeborn and Marchwarden Annondel had given him permission to help Belegwen shoot an arrow from his bow, she had not indicated any sort of affection for him, not even when his hands had wrapped around her own and helped her pull back the bowstring that was far too strong for her to manage on her own at the time.
Though Haldir was certain he had not intended it, Bragolith's words branded his heart painfully with hurtful memories he had long ago put behind him. Elves only fell in love once in a lifetime and, though he was loath to admit it, Haldir had fallen in love with Belegwen all those years ago. The feeling had not been returned though…
Not until now, more than three millennia later.
"That was a long time ago," Haldir said quietly, pain evident in his voice. Even now when it seemed so certain she loved him, he could not help but wonder if she would not accept his love. She had not loved him back then, after all. Perhaps she never fully would.
It hurt him terribly to think about it.
"Yet here you are, married to her at last. Why have you kept it a secret?" Bragolith asked quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder and gripping it firmly.
"I have not married her." Haldir replied unsteadily, the iron control he was well known for barely holding together at this point. Bragolith had a way of making him see things more clearly, but these thoughts were starting to cause fear to well up within the pit of his stomach in a way he had not felt for a long time and Haldir did not appreciate it. Still, he could not help but wonder if there was some truth to Bragolith's statement.
Is that what he had done? Had he married her a few months ago without realizing it?
"No?" Bragolith murmured, eyebrows elevated in consternation at his reply. "It certainly seemed as though you had today."
"Do not speak in riddles to me. Of what do you speak?" Haldir asked, feeling anxious over Bragolith's hypothesis. What had he done today that would give away his feelings for Belegwen so easily?
Bragolith laughed nervously, before leaning in to quietly say, "Haldir, never in my life have I seen two soldiers fight alongside one another as you did with Belegwen today. Both of you were obviously connected together through a bond. There is no other way for two elves to work together like that without words passing between them."
He drew even closer and whispered, "You knew what she would do before she even moved, Haldir, yet you dare to tell me she is not your wife? Deny it all you want brother, but I can see the truth."
"If that is what has truly happened, it… it was not what I had intended." He stuttered, feeling very uncomfortable with where this conversation was headed.
"Then what did you intend by it?" Bragolith asked, unwilling to let him end the conversation so easily. "And does not Belegwen deserve your eternal loyalty, seeing as you have bonded your body with hers?"
"I am uncertain of what Belegwen wants." Haldir admitted painfully. "This is a very complicated situation and I do not want to presume anything when it comes to her."
Bragolith's face suggested that he did not believe Haldir. However, he finally drew his interrogation to a close. "Have it your way brother, but be forewarned: the soldiers whisper of it and are starting to choose sides between the two of you. Some say you have married her in secret and forced her to take the blame for what happened in the forest. Be careful brother, for their unrest grows and there are many whose loyalties are with Belegwen."
Watching as Bragolith turned to walk away, Haldir cursed under his breath. He found himself overwhelmed with the emotions Bragolith had so effortlessly drawn out of him. He had not wanted to remember his youth and his passion for Belegwen that had been unrequited for so long, nor had he wanted to entertain the possibility that he had indeed married her without realizing it back in Caras Galadhon.
Now that he had started to think about it though, he could hardly get himself to stop.
Even more importantly, he wondered what he could do to fix the situation in the ranks that had the potential to ruin everything. He was going to need to come up with a plan, and fast, that would unite the group once again so they could concentrate on fighting the battle that awaited them at Helm's Deep.
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"Linedhel," Belegwen said as she watched the healer putting away materials in the darkened medical cart. "Have you finished with the last of the injuries?"
"Yes, I think we can finally take a few minutes to relax." He replied slowly, trying to speak while concentrating on organizing some various tonics in vials.
"In a few minutes, perhaps," Belegwen said, feeling ill at ease as she realized she was about to give away her secret out of necessity. "I… I have something else I need you to take a look at."
"You have injuries other than your leg? Why did you not say so earlier?" Linedhel questioned, putting the vials down before walking over to her and squatting down next to her as she sat on the edge of the cart.
"This is more precautionary than an injury… I just need to be certain that all is well." Belegwen said quietly, not meeting Linedhel's eyes as he stared at her with unbridled curiosity.
"Your words confuse me Belegwen. What do you need me to examine?" He asked as his eyes gave her a quick once over, scanning for an obvious problem.
"Can I trust your discretion on this matter?" Belegwen asked quietly. "I have only discovered this today and have yet to tell anyone."
"I am well-versed in discretion Belegwen. Now please, tell me what is ailing you." Linedhel said. He watched as she closed the curtain to the cart, then drew up her robes to reveal her protruding stomach.
Linedhel gasped, much to Belegwen's dismay, before immediately walking over to her to examine her. "You went into battle like this? Have you felt discomfort since the battle? Does anything feel different?"
"No, I did not sustain any hits to my middle during the battle and nothing feels any different than it did before." Belegwen said thoughtfully, thinking deeply about the last few weeks. "I am more tired than I normally am though and perhaps a bit more hungry, now that I think about it."
"Those are normal symptoms of your condition and do not raise any concern. How long do you suspect you have been this way?" Linedhel asked, reaching for her stomach, then stopping short and meeting her eyes. "May I touch it?"
"I think I have been this way for nearly six to seven months now and yes, you may," Belegwen said, allowing him to touch where the elfling was within her. He pushed on the mass lightly in several places, then left his hand in one spot for a minute while she felt him harness power from within himself, perhaps to check on the well-being of the elfling? Belegwen was not certain what he was doing, but allowed it nonetheless.
"Hmm… well, nothing seems to be out of place and your elfling has a strong spirit about him. If you are truly that far along though, you should be a little larger than you currently are."
"Him? You know the elfling is an ellon?" Belegwen asked with a sparkle of excitement in her voice.
Linedhel smiled much more largely than usual and replied. "Yes, I can feel his spirit. It is an ellon."
Belegwen sat down and placed her robes back over her middle, then cradled it affectionately with both of her hands. "What must I do to help him get to the size he should be?"
"Starting tomorrow we will feed you two bites of lembas bread per day. One bite is enough to feed the appetite of a grown ellon, but it is not enough for a pregnant elleth. I will also start to forage for supplemental foods as we ride through the plains. With all the marching you have been doing, coupled with the elfling you feed, you have simply not been getting enough food. We can remedy that easily enough."
"What else must I do to ensure this goes well?" Belegwen asked, absently rubbing the bulge that she had quickly grown attached to.
"No more battles or sparring until the elfling has arrived." Linedhel said with a firmness in his voice that told Belegwen he meant it wholeheartedly. "You have been very lucky so far in this respect, but you must be more careful to ensure the elfling's safety. Even if you are not in a delicate state, he is. You must also get more sleep; I will send you to the back of the cart in the afternoon to nap for an hour or so. This will help you maintain your strength. If you feel any discomfort or unexpected changes to your body, you will let me know. As long as you are feeling well though, the elfling will more than likely be feeling well also."
"Yes… Very well then." Belegwen said, falling deeply into thought. This situation seemed manageable enough, though it was a bit unnerving to know that she would need to put her sword down for nearly half a year-
"Dearest Valar, look at your leg! It has already healed! Did another soldier heal it for you?" Linedhel asked, interrupting her thoughts with a voice filled with confusion. Belegwen looked down and noticed what Linedhel was staring at. Her bare legs were still sticking out of her robes and the leg that she had landed on earlier had only been partially healed by Linedhel when he examined it. When they had last looked at it, it had been riddled with dark blue and purple bruises.
However, it was no longer even slightly discolored. It looked as though her painful slide through the grass had not even happened! Belegwen had noticed the pain had went away earlier when she had healed Haldir, but had not had time to inspect it until now. It looked as good as new, though she had not tried to heal it herself!
"No, I did not have another heal it for me. However, I noticed the pain went away when I healed Haldir's cheek." She said, carefully describing to Linedhel the power that had passed between the two of them when she had used her spirit to heal his wound.
Belegwen watched as a small knowing smile from appeared on Linedhel's face while she finished her description of the power that had pulsed between them. "You know what happened then?" She asked him, watching his face carefully while waiting for an explanation.
"What you have experienced is a phenomenon that occasionally occurs between married couples who share the deepest of bonds with one another Belegwen. When an elf goes to heal another elf who shares a close bond with them, sometimes they end up healing themselves as well." Linedhel explained.
"When two bodies and minds are connected closely, they often consider one another to be an extension of themselves. Therefore, when one gets healed and the other needs healing, they are both healed together, almost as if they are a single entity, if you will."
"Wow," Belegwen whispered, in awe of what had happened. Haldir considered her to be part of himself? "Surely this means he loves me!"
"I must offer my congratulations Belegwen, for I did not know that you and Haldir had wed. He will surely be ecstatic to learn about the elfling you carry! I extend my wish of great joy to you both." Linedhel said, bowing before her with a hand over his heart to show the sincerity of his words.
Belegwen said nothing in return though, her mind trying to process the last thing Linedhel had said. Indeed, she had suspected this possibility for a while now. Hearing someone say it out loud made it seem even more likely though.
Perhaps she had married Haldir after all.
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"Why do you watch her so? You know you are supposed to be keeping your distance."
Erthalion jumped in surprise before turning to see Heledhril standing behind him with a judgmental look on his face. Erthalion had the grace to look a bit embarrassed, knowing he had been caught red-handed doing something that he knew he was not supposed to be doing. Heledhril was one of a very small number of elves that were still willing to speak with him though, so he decided to be honest with him, even though he knew he was no longer in his good graces.
"I want to figure out why I did what I did Heledhril." He replied quietly, turning back to watch as Belegwen and Linedhel exited the back of the medical cart, talking quietly amongst themselves. "I want to understand this crime I have committed."
He felt Heledhril's hand grip his shoulder tightly and looked back at him to find the blonde elf studying his face intently for a moment. "I am uncertain that you should be seeking out this information. You would be better off not remembering the anger you harbored for Belegwen. It weighed heavily upon your heart then and it would not be beneficial for you to remember it now."
"If I understand the crime though, perhaps I can move on from it. I wish to right my wrongs, Heledhril." Erthalion explained. "I want to try and make things right between myself and Belegwen."
Most importantly, Erthalion wanted to move on. He hated the looks he received from other wardens whom he had counted as friends at one point, Heledhril included. If he could find a way to right the wrongs between himself and Belegwen, perhaps his other friendships could be mended as well.
Perhaps he could find some measure of hope for his own life.
"Erthalion, I will remind you once again to stay away from Belegwen. Do not give any of us reason to believe that you will approach her. It will not go well for you if you do." Heledhril said, a mild threat coming from his lips. Erthalion felt the reach of that threat deep within himself.
His friend did not trust him anymore. Nobody did.
"We will be watching you. We will not allow any harm to come to her." Another voice said from the shadows nearby. As if to reinforce his own sentiments, Rumil stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the campfire, eyeing him warily.
"You are to stay away. We will escort you to the other side of the camp and you will maintain the distance between yourself and Belegwen. Have I made myself clear?" Rumil threatened.
Erthalion sighed before answering. "Yes."
Before they escorted him away though, he looked Belegwen's way, only to catch her eye for a moment. She had seen him watching her and traces of fear appeared on her face as he was grabbed roughly by the two elves beside him and pulled away from her.
There was so much about this situation that Erthalion did not understand, though he wished to. He did not recognize the feelings that Belegwen ignited within himself when he looked at her.
Indeed, why did her look of fear bring about a feeling of satisfaction within him?
Erthalion did not know, but he intended to find out.
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I'm getting all amped up about this story as we approach the climax! I'm so excited to write the end! I know I have left some loose ends in this chapter, particularly concerning the conversation between Haldir and Bragolith. Never fear, all questions will be answered in due time. I will try to have another chapter up soon. Thanks for reading!
-P.G.