"St. James, what did you do to her?" Jesse picked up his phone; his entire being misplaced in the middle of the night. The extremely high pitched voice making him open his eyes completely.

"Who is this?" He managed to ask between sleeping and walking toward his kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

"What did you do to her?" The voice demanded again. "I'm calling the police." The dramatic tone gave him a clue as to who the person was; Jesse massaged his temple and a low, hoarse laugh left his mouth.

"Kurt, please calm down. She's okay." He turned on the kitchen´s lights and waited a moment while his eyes adjusted to the shining again. "How did you even get my number?"

"I want her back here now. Why is she with you? Explain this to me." He demanded once again, this time sounding desperate to have concrete answers.

"She called me." Jesse said. "She's sleeping, and also I think that one last question is for somebody else." He said pointedly. Still, it was way too late for be sassing with Kurt, so he said nothing else.

"Listen Jesse," Kurt started, speaking more calm than before. "Just, let her know I'm here and that, uh...Finn left for Ohio sometime around last night, but he's okay, I'm sure of it." Jesse nodded even though he knew Kurt couldn't see him. "And when she wakes up also tell her that I need her too, please." His voice faltered at the last couple of words but he was quick to correct his mistake by clearing his throat; echoing a word or two of goodbye and the phone line went dead.

He went back to the couch where he had been sleeping after he had yielded his bed to Rachel. He tangled himself up with the blanket he always kept on the couch. As he did so, Jesse heard a soft crack and the sticky sound that often came with bare foot touching wood.

"Jesse. Are you awake?" Rachel whispered. He chuckled lightly but kept his eyes closed, too tired to open them up. However he couldn't help but acknowledge that Rachel keeping him from his sleep didn't bother him so much.

"Yeah," he whispered back, not sure why, they weren't going to wake anybody if they talked normally, but still he kept whispering. "Come here, I think this couch is big enough for the both of us."

Rachel took a hesitant step forward and soon enough she was laying down next to Jesse. It made her remember of all the times they had been in the exact same position, lying down side by side, only this was and felt completely different. Only Rachel couldn't say how.

"Can I ask you a question?" She said. Her eyes closed as if she was aiming to get more darkness inside the room

"Sure."

"Did it hurt?"

"What hurt?" Jesse replied, confused and a little sleepy-headed to formulate any possible answers.

"Finn and I getting engaged..." She said this so carefully, that it felt the words could break in any second.

Who could blame her? It was dark and it felt safe; Rachel had so many questions that needed just that to be asked. Besides, she had never been someone who could keep endless doubts inside her mind.

Jesse opened his eyes again at the sound of her words; he almost felt he was dreaming. He had never expected someone to ask him that, least of all Rachel; so he didn't have an answer ready to make him look strong and unaffected. Truth was he hadn't been thinking of himself or his feelings when he heard the news; hadn't really considered it had hurt him, in all the context of the word.

He had felt odd, a lot different because Rachel had always been his way of coming back home and to make sense every time he needed to. But probably it hadn't been fair; he didn't care. She had been the only person in the world capable of making him love and care for someone so fully. She also made him acknowledge the fact that his actions would always come with consequences he wouldn't want to face.

Rachel had engaged to someone else and it felt like she wasn't his to even remember; she was going to be somebody else's wife. Once he thought he'd always fight for the girl, but this was something he wouldn't have gotten himself into, and he hadn't. At the end it may have hurt, maybe it had hurt so much he didn't even feel it.

"Yes." He said finally and with that one word he was able to evoke so many feeling for both him and Rachel. It had make him be in pain, he admitted. But this didn't mean something would've changed; the lucky fact that it had killed every last drop of hope in him wasn't going to change anything now; wasn't going to change the fact that he could not make himself feel different about her, not even if he could've wanted it with such desperation like before.

"I'm sorry." Rachel muttered breaking the darkening silence. He played with the leather of the couch and nodded slowly. Still not seeing the need to ask something like that in the middle of the night.

"Kurt called," Jesse said, after swallowing down his thoughts, "he didn't sound okay." He paused, expecting Rachel to say something explaining or ask a question, but her words weren't there. So he decided to proceed with the other information he held. "Finn went back to Ohio in the night, Kurt says he's safe, so don't worry."

Rachel breathed in shakily and found the darkness no more soothingly than before; that's why she had come to Jesse, but he wasn't touching her, not even in a finger. Like he was around some very valuable artwork. However, she said not a word about this thing she had noticed and turned on her back to face him; not feeling at all uncomfortable with their closeness, but rather wanting more. She pushed her head softly against his chest and closed her eyes, feeling how again tears streamed down her cheeks. Rachel didn't know what it was what made her cry this time; she only knew how badly torn she felt and she couldn't handle it anymore. This feeling, however, only ceased when Jesse had her in his arms.

Coffee.

That was all he could smell while he was waking up. There was no longer the intoxicating perfume, which had filled his dreams during the night. Or a beautiful girl to invade his personal space. Anyway, the thought of coffee gave him all the energy he lacked to leave the couch.

Jesse followed the delicious smell to the kitchen and watched how Rachel moved from one cabinet to another searching for the cups she had been missing. He noticed quite fast that she was in one of his dress shirts and sweatpants that made her look smaller than she actually was, the night before he hadn't noticed what she had been wearing, but he told himself again he must've had.

The sight of her like this made him smile wide and suddenly his face started heating up; something inside his eyes felt like sparkles ready to be released and he knew precisely what was happening to him. Everything fell into place; he felt exactly like he had felt watching Rachel rehearse back in that ugly dance studio in McKinley or more appropriately called: The moment Jesse was officially fucked.

And it was ultimately too far now to save himself from the fire, he just hoped he wouldn't burn this time around.

"Hi," Jesse practically breathed out, with his eyes wide open. Rachel jumped in her place and turned around with a grin on her face. He had to think about why she seemed to be so happy; she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she had spent almost all night long sobbing in his arms.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me stay here, and for last night. You really helped me." Rachel said.

"Don't worry about it Rach, that's what friends do." He tried to reassure himself again and again that he could handle being attracted to Rachel this easily. But words weren't helping his case much. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm...hanging." Rachel turned his back to him almost immediately. He wasn't sure of what her face looked like in the exact moment, but he was pretty sure she no longer displayed an attempt of a smile on her face.

"Rach, you're going to be okay, I promise." Jesse walked toward her side cautiously. "I'll make sure of that." He placed a hand on her dressed shoulder and she did nothing for a minute.

"I made you coffee." Rachel said slowly, ignoring what he had said to her and sighed before turning around to look at him directly. Her smile a statement that she had, indeed, improved her show face; still, he could see through it.

"It's just me..." He paused. "You know you can talk to me."

Jesse wanted to be there for her, more than anything, but this time around he wasn't so sure if he could just sit there and listen about Finn. He had never been able to do such thing before he came to New York. This time it felt like he couldn't hear the name one more time in his life, but he knew had to and he would.

"I texted him all morning long and called him a crazy amount of times, he never answered. I just..." Rachel looked down to her feet, "I want to know where we're standing; I want to know if I can be free now." Jesse frowned and tilted her chin up for her to look deep into his blue eyes.

"Rachel, you know you don't need his permission or anybody's to be free. He isn't the only one who gets a word in your relationship." He paused. "He isn't in control of this, of you, not this time. You have to do what you want to, what feels right for you." Jesse stopped holding her chin, but she did not look away. Her eyes changed suddenly and a determined trace marked her olive face.

"I will, but I have to talk to him...in person." She looked right into Jesse's confused gaze. "I have to break up with him the right way, face to face is the only option."

The confusion on Jesse´s face was replaced by amusement instantly. And her face didn't look sad anymore.

"You're going to fly down to Lima?" Jesse raised a brow. "We have classes on Monday." He said skeptically.

"I know, and I'll be right back to them in no time." She insisted.

"Do you have the money to do so?" He grabbed two mugs from the middle drawer, sure enough Rachel hadn't been able to find them. "You do know plane tickets cost money, don't you?"

"I thought you were supportive of me! Stop looking for 'buts' in my plan." He snorted once he had left the mugs on top of the counter.

"I'm sorry, it's just that there are a lot of them buts. Besides, does it have to be you who goes to him?" She frowned thoughtfully at him and grabbed the two mugs to serve the coffee inside them.

"Because I'm breaking up with him, not the other way around." She argued.

"Yes, but...that doesn't mean anything...I'm sorry, I'm having trouble concentrating; that's kind of my favorite shirt. Please don't spill coffee on it." She stopped pouring the coffee to look at the dark gray shirt she had picked randomly from Jesse's closet, then back to the mug and laughed evilly making the coffee pot move ungraciously around and equally making Jesse's heart stop every time a brown drop left both the pot and the moving mug. "Rachel, I'm serious here." He stepped closer from where he was standing and took what she was holding in her hands. Rachel stopped laughing and took a second look at the shirt.

"I'm keeping this. It's actually really comfortable." She ran a hand up and down the soft cotton material.

"I know, that's why it's my favorite." His face was death serious but he couldn't keep it that way for too long, not around Rachel at least. Not when she was pouting at him.

"You don't have to worry anymore about coffee stains, because it's mine now." Jesse stopped drinking his coffee at her words. He knew he wouldn't invite her over again; she would keep everything she'd like. But still, he smiled at the simple thought.

"No, it's not. And you're not going to Ohio." He stated. "It´s a crazy idea."

"I don't need your permission or anybody's, I'm taking your advice, you should be proud of me." Rachel finished her coffee and placed the mug in the sink. "I'm going to change now. I need to go see Kurt."

She was out of the room before Jesse knew it. He chuckled with a shake of his head, he placed his mug in the sink as well and looked at the clock which was high on the wall. It was just 10:30am and if Rachel was just stubborn enough he would have to take her to the airport and carry whatever luggage she would bring. He well knew, deep inside, that she would get away with whatever she planed now and for the rest of her life. So why even argue?

Jesse walked out of the kitchen and laid down on the couch again; he grabbed the unfinished book resting on the table next to him. He seriously couldn't remember why he hadn't finished reading it and why he'd still have it; Jesse opened it where the bookmark was and instantly saw why he hadn't dared to open it up in a while. It was a picture, the only photo they had taken of Rachel and him while dating for the first time; his arm around her, his eyes only on her and both their mouths laughing. That weird kid with the afro had been stalking them for weeks, hoping he could get and interview and a hot picture for his new gossip blog. Jesse had been sick of him and agreed, alongside Rachel, to let him take a picture of the two of them smiling. Then, he remembered why he put it inside that book; he hadn't wanted to see anything that could remotely remind him of Rachel once he was set to forget her. So he hid away any evidence of their romantic relationship ever existed.

A door opened and it made his train of thought stop; he walked on to the hallway and watched how Rachel stepped out of his room with the clothes she had worn yesterday on, with one single difference noticeable: she was still wearing his shirt.

"You know, that gives the wrong impression." Jesse said, making a gesture to his shirt.

"I don't care, not really." She walked towards him and hugged him suddenly, he reacted as quickly as he could and hugged her back. "Thanks," she whispered, "for my new shirt and everything." She teased.

Jesse laughed and stepped back. "Anytime."

After she walked out of Jesse's apartment, Rachel was glad to find out that the sun had come out beautifully, the light still fell on her, soft and soothing; days like those always made her feel at peace. She knew that flying down to Lima wasn't the best idea, and probably Jesse was right, but this was important to her; she needed a proper closure to this relationship, and she decided she couldn't go on without it.

When she was halfway home she thought of Kurt and Blaine and how the both seemed to be so emotional back at the park. She had gotten too caught up in her own problems that she didn't even thought of her best friend and what happened to him next; she just assumed he had made it home safe with Blaine and that everything was fine. But once Jesse said Kurt didn't sound okay, it all began to make sense.

When she finally crossed the city and winded up in front of her door; she was aware that once she opened it, fairy tales and the happiness they had been living under since high school, would be entirely gone. A sudden feeling of extreme sadness overcame her when she thought of this, but she was also happy at last that all charades would be gone. Rachel entered her apartment with that one last thought.

Kurt wasn't in the living room or in the kitchen, she walked further in and caught a sight of what was a very depressed Kurt. He didn't look at her when she stepped inside his room; but she did see him, all of him: he was sad and wrecked. She felt she needed to look the same in that moment, but she had had help to overcome that, and Kurt hadn't. But now she was there with him.

"Kurt." He got his eyes out of whatever he was watching in his laptop; the blue of his eyes drowned on the red that surrounded it and the black pajamas he was wearing made his skin look paler than it was.

They stared at each other for a while, analyzing the other´s cover. Once that moment was over, Kurt sighed out in relief and gasped like he had been holding in all out of his choked breath. Rachel took off her white blazer and walked towards Kurt's bed, she let herself fall on top of it and laid next to him; he grabbed her hand in a soothingly and strong. .

"We are going to be fine." He said with a raspy voice that almost cracked Rachel's heart. She had heard those words by two people today and she knew she would be, eventually and with help.

When she was sitting on her window sit inside the plane for Ohio, it finally sunk in; she was on her way home to do what she had been so frightened to even imagine all of her high school career: break-up with Finn. She couldn't help but let some tears go. She hadn't let herself cry since she left Jesse's apartment again. Kurt had been crying a lot, and she had to be a rock for her best friend or neither one of them would've left the pizza box and the Gilmore Girls marathon package that Blaine had sent over.

Rachel hadn't asked what exactly happened between the two of them but, given that Blaine was sending Kurt all those gifts and flowers something must've been wrong and shattered.

She looked outside the round window of the plane; her favorite thing about coming to and leaving New York was that she could look at all the cheering, colorful lights in the night and the romantic sight that the city inspires in the day. Only this time it did nothing to her, and the lights only became a blurry fuzz with the tears threatening to leave her eyes.

She waited until the plane was entirely on the air to fish for her cellphone inside her handbag, once she got it, Rachel scrolled down her home screen and found nothing with Finn´s name in it. And for the thousand time in that same week she felt like the obedient puppy girlfriend, waiting by the phone. Rachel did not want to be that. And the fact that she knew those would be the only terms her long distance relationship with Finn could work, hurt her like hell.

She was certain he wasn't going to move to New York anytime soon, because he liked Lima and the speed of his life there; she was even more certain that she would not go back to Ohio because of him, not permanently. But both Finn and she deserved to do this in person; their relationship deserved this. Rachel tried to reach out for Finn again, but every time her call went straight to voice mail she lost it more and more.

When the plane landed and she was out the gate, Hiram was waiting for her. She had lunch with him and proceed to fill him in all that was happening and why she was truly there. Rachel told her dad about Jesse magically appearing in her life again in New York and told him everything from the beginning to the present day. His dad didn't seem to have any useful advice but his encouraging smile was enough for her to feel better.

Rachel drove all the way to Finn's house, then when Carol told her he would be working at the tire shop, Rachel directed herself there; Burt told her Finn had been spending a lot of time in McKinley. She should've thought of looking for him there earlier; she knew where to find him when he was in trouble.

The streets and turns to the high school that she knew by heart seemed to be foreign to her now; as if somehow those four years had been fractioned in little pieces and slowly erased from her mind, those four important years of her life. Once she pushed open the double doors of the auditorium, she couldn't help but feel nostalgic, but strangely so. It didn't feel like it must have: it didn't felt like coming home; it just felt like walking into a very familiar and dear place, but nothing more. She had been expecting more.

"This is where you proposed to me and you reminded me this is where we had our first date. Is also where we first met. Do you remember that?" All the memories of people that they used to be and songs they used to sing were very well stuck in her head and holding onto everything she recalled. Rachel knew that even if she wanted to move on, that was not going to happen because of this auditorium, because this glee club had mark her life and all the friends she made were forever; the loves weren't exactly like that, especially not now.

"Yeah. Glee rehearsal, you uh...you really freaked me out." And every time they went back to exactly that moment that although now it seemed sort of sweet, for her it would always be a moment to feel awfully ashamed of. He didn't look surprised to see her, almost like he had been expecting her, but she didn't let that take her out of focus.

"I stopped by your house and the tire shop. I should've known you would just be here, though." She spoke, thoughtful. However, he continued with his monologue, ignoring what she had just said.

"I know it sounds sort of weird but I just felt like singing up here. It seemed to help me figure out stuff before." Rachel felt exasperated, she had always been a patient person, especially with Finn. But what the hell did he understand about her presence in that auditorium?

His voice sounded so carefree and calm, that it almost seemed that the past few months hadn't happened for him. And Rachel was almost sure he was making himself believe they hadn't and wanted to drag her down to that stupid, although very tempting, lie.

"Yeah, I would've just, you know, come here first," she felt like she was about to snap at him, "Only if you had picked up your phone or answer my text messages, instead I had to get on a plane and drive around town looking for you like an idiot."

"Sorry, I just needed time to think." He looked away trying to distract himself from the issues that were presented in front of him, like he always did. At this point, Rachel knew every reaction he had and its meaning. .

"You had four months! I hated you for what you did to me at that train station." And truly, he had had a lot of time to think, backpacking through Georgia, of all places. He wasn't in college, he didn't have a job. He had nothing but time in his hands.

"I was trying to help you." And Finn's intentions were true, he had been trying to help her. He had kind of let her go, in his mind; he had let her be without him, in his own way.

"I hated you!" Finn frowned, Rachel had never yelled at him, never this raging way. He felt like he was looking at a complete new Rachel, and the worst; he felt intimidated by her, that couldn't be a good sign. "But then when I got to New York, I thought about how much you love me and how hard that must have been for you and I thought: this is what a man looks like; this is how a man loves." She tried to calm herself and made emphasis with her gestures but Finn didn't seem to react in any way. "But you not telling me where you were for four months, and sneaking out before sunrise without saying goodbye, that is not a man, Finn." Rachel said spitefully.

"You were gone last night, I had no idea where you were and I figured I would let you live your new life in peace! I'm trying to give you your freedom." He argued; his frown getting deeper. His head thinking of very valid argument he could enter a fight with.

"I don't need you to give me my freedom," Rachel thought of Jesse then, and what he had said with rightness. "I don't need your permission to be free. I'm a grown woman. I don't need any words from you to do what I want."

Everything she hadn't thought about when Finn proposed; everything that Quinn had said and hadn't made sense to her at the time, did now. He had been trying to keep her inside a box and that's what he accomplished at the end. Finn took something beautiful and put it inside a box, and since then, she thought, they had been throwing and hitting themselves against those walls, destroying each other as they kept.

"Like your movies buddy?" He said this slowly and carefully, knowing his words would hit a nerve somewhere.

"I didn't do Jesse, okay? You know that. And how do you think I felt without you? Alone, I needed a friend." She tried.

"He's in NYADA, he's in NY, and he's with you. You act like that doesn't mean anything, Rachel, but it does. How do you think I feel knowing he's there all the time; that he's with my girlfriend and I'm not? I mean, I know I have nothing left to offer; I barely even graduated high school and my life has absolutely no direction." He talked more focused now and his eyes barely shifted away from her face.

"Don't you get it? When it comes to you I'm always that moon eyed girl who made a fool out of herself at our first glee rehearsal. And I don't want to be her anymore, because I know I am so much more. And I want you to accept that, more than anything, I swear; but even if you could honestly tell me you could try. I can't do this anymore." Rachel gulped and took a step towards him; this was something she wouldn't have been able to do a year ago, three months ago and not even the day before. "We're done."

"Wow, what am I going to do with my life? I don't have my girl, I don't have a job; I don't have a place in this world." And he was probably right, but nothing was sure when it came to life. The only thing Rachel could be certain of was that Finn's place wasn't with her, wasn't her heart.

"You have you, and that's better than anyone else in this world as far as I'm concerned."

Rachel stepped closer with all the intention to kiss Finn goodbye, but once she saw his kind brown eyes…she realized she didn't need to. Maybe those really were the complete wrong eyes to look at, and those the complete wrong lips to kiss.