A/N: I had to get creative since apparently FF doesn't support strikethrough text. So every time there's something LWJ crossed out because he didn't mean to write it and it made him feel uncomfortable and exposed after realising what he'd written, I put it in {-these-brackets-like-this-}
Day 1, AWY
This evening while on patrol I encountered a misbehaving guest disciple. {-His-smile-was-ridiculous-.}
Normally I would have simply confiscated the contraband, either escorted him back to the dorms or prevented him from re-entering during unauthorized hours, and subsequently reported him for punishment. As is proper.
While I did try to do as I should, for some reason the encounter upset me enough that I drew my blade on him. I kept getting distracted by his eyes; {-their-colour-was-strangely-mesmerizing-.}
I will have to copy "Righteousness" and "Virtue" 5 times after classes tomorrow.
He was a magnificent fighter, who never actually drew his sword from its sheath. His form was breath-taking, and I enjoyed sparring with him far too much. I don't understand why. My reaction to his presence was very strange.
Just looking at him made me feel somewhat ill, {-yet-also-excited-?-}
I felt almost dizzy, and both too hot and too cold all at once. My stomach felt strangely unsettled, and my breath kept trying to catch in my throat. I couldn't think straight.
It was terrible; {-yet-there-was-something-incredibly-thrilling-about-it-too-.} Even thinking of him now makes these odd symptoms return. {-Why-does-he-make-me-feel-this-way-?-}
The whole time, I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
{-And-I-can't-stop-thinking-about-him-now-.}
I was just so startled and overwhelmed by everything I was feeling that I failed to restrain my temper. The loss of control on my part is both shameful and embarrassing. It was a terrible lapse in discipline, and I will have to make an effort to avoid allowing it to occur again.
It would perhaps be best if I avoided interacting with that particular disciple any further. {-Why-does-the-thought-of-that-feel-so-upsetting-?-}
Ultimately, I decided not to assign punishment; as the alcohol was disposed of and he returned to his dorm on his own, and he had previously pointed out that he had only just arrived, and therefore could not be expected to know the rules already. It was, unfortunately, an understandable explanation.
Ignorance is no excuse; but with the confiscation of his alcohol the only rules he was truly breaking were those regarding curfew, and being out of bounds.
As he had already managed to re-enter, and went to his dorm on his own, I felt that perhaps being subjected to an unexpected and unwanted duel had been enough of a punishment for the night.
I shall simply mention to Uncle tomorrow that perhaps going over the precepts before any other lessons take place would likely be an appropriate way to ensure all the guest disciples know exactly what is expected of them during their stay.
{-I-look-forward-to-seeing-that-boy-again-tomorrow-too-.}