Hello everyone! I am so sorry! I had this chapter almost done like three weeks ago and I just had so much going on in my life that I couldn't finish it, until now. I also had no intention of updating close to the actual Thanksgiving, let alone after so I really am sorry. And I want you to know that I am completely determined to complete this story, so you people reading, don't worry. I just hope my head hasn't lost all of its creativity and that this chapter turns out good enough for all of you :D please read and enjoy! Also, thank you for the reviews they mean a lot to me ^^
"Who called?" Rachel stepped outside of the bathroom with smile on her face, obviously oblivious of what just had happened. Jesse looked at her with intense eyes and then looked away like trying to avoid her sight; like if somehow seeing Rachel would change his mind.
Jesse cleared his throat, got up from her bed and looked at her one last time before saying.
"I'm sorry Rach, I have to go, something came up and...Yes." He nodded once, he walked up to Rachel and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek quickly. And just before Rachel could protest Jesse's sudden leaving, the door was closed and she was left standing confused and alone in her apartment.
Rachel frowned and looked around, trying to find what had been wrong, what had changed Jesse´s mood so that he wanted to leave all of a sudden. Who had called?
She reached out for her pink phone resting on the bed. The call had been marked as unknown, but that number, she'd recognize it everywhere, that number she had taken so long to memorize and was having a hard time to forget. Finn had called, and she finally understood the why of everything. The curiosity of what they had talked about, and why had Finn called. Maybe it was an emergency, she thought, or maybe it was just stubborn and highly childish Finn trying to find the worst moment to interrupt her life in New York.
As soon as she got herself in bed, the impromptu feeling of suspense filled her stomach and she just had to know why. She dialed Finn's number and at the first ring she decided to hang up, that wasn't a good idea, at all. She sighed long with frustration before turning off the lights and wait for Kurt to come back so she could tell him everything and he could have a better answer for all of this than she had.
"Are you sure you'll be okay here?" Kurt asked for the millionth time that day. His suitcase was packed with all his killer outfits, because he was sure he was going to see Blaine again, and Blaine, of course, had to eat his heart out.
"Could you please stop asking? I'll be fine. New York in the fall, my first Thanksgiving here, I will be more than great." Rachel said with her show face on while more than one lie left her mouth.
"Okay, it's just that, you're all alone." He grimaced after saying. Rachel knew that sometimes Kurt had the lack of being sensitive with other people's hard times and tragedies, but that was just him, he didn't even notice.
"I'm not," she protested, "I have Je-"
"The guy who hasn't talked to you in three days? That Jesse?" He interrupted sarcastically. Rachel bowed her head and bit her lip. Kurt was talking nothing but the sore truth. And although she didn't want to admit it to herself, Jesse had been avoiding her, in every class, and every phone call or text. And Rachel was trying to understand he perhaps needed space to think things through, but she also needed him with her.
She couldn't go back to Ohio with Kurt, because while this was his second visit, this would be her third, and all of her savings couldn't afford that, not that that had ever stopped her before, but this time it didn't feel necessary. It would be, frankly, a waste of everything.
"It doesn't matter anyway." She said frowning at the wall. "I have New York and I have me, that's all I need." She stated clearly, so that it wouldn't be left any dude of hesitation from Kurt or herself, although, for real, there was a lot.
"Okay, great, we can add independent Rachel to the list." He said teasing. "That's one I hadn't in my card collection." Rachel smirked and rolled her eyes. She knew Kurt was just trying to make her feel better.
Kurt took a quick glance at the clock and breathed in long.
"Okay, if I want to make my flight I have to go now, but I don't want to leave you just yet." He spoke nearly pouting. Rachel half smiled at her best friend and hugged him tightly.
"Happy Thanksgiving." She whispered, trying to mostly keep her voice in a place where it wouldn't crack and put her whole facade down. She was fine, she was happy, she wasn't homesick, Jesse was just another guy, every single thing she tried to convince herself of, and hadn't been able to, in a long while, because it wasn't true.
The ID caller wasn't someone he knew, but somehow Jesse had seen the number light up his screen before and he decided to answer. The street was crowded, not like he could remember any differently. He stopped in the corner of a street, passed a hand through his hair and placed his phone against his ear.
"Hello?"
"Look St. James, my plane is about to take off, so I don't have much time to do this, you need to get it fast." Jesse smirked and shook his head. Of course, it was Kurt, he's got to remember the number.
"What is it Kurt?" He questioned looking up to the sky, it was going to be a rainy day.
"Are you kidding me? I call you and Rachel doesn't, something weird? Yes, yes, I'm sorry lady, this is kind of important. No, well, then you'll just have to wait!" Jesse let out a small laugh but then his face went back to serious street walker.
He just didn't know what to say to her, he saw Rachel and it was like words had been taken away from him. He concluded, he needed space to think things through and maybe Rachel did too. It was just best for the both of them. And he just had to admit what he hadn't wanted to; he missed Rachel more than he had ever missed performance, and that wasn't exaggerating, the thought just made him realize even more how much he cared about her, because performance was his entire life, it was what his life had been built around. It was his everything, but like he had said before in one McKinley auditorium, and had been his one very truth at the time and now as well. Rachel was who mattered more than fame and show bis, she was who mattered more than everything. And he missed her.
"Where is she?" Jesse asked suddenly, getting out of his clouded mind.
"She's in our apartment, alone, is thanksgiving." Jesse nodded, understanding what he most likely was supposed to do. "Go, St. James!" Jesse laughed.
"Thank you." He said genuinely. "Happy Thanksgiving, Kurt." He remembered.
"Yeah, uh, you too."
She could order something, she could watch a movie, a musical to be exact, but she had discussed every single one with Jesse, they had disputed if that one actor was better than the one before. Which one of them could sing certain song the best, who could pull off that one kind of dance move, who knew more about musical theatre, and the funny thing was that at the end the both of them ended up winning and losing, and they just couldn't end up a tie.
So she decided to go to sleep early and when she'd wake up the next morning the homesickness would be almost gone and the uneasy feeling of missing something would be too. Her pajamas and the sound of rain outside were helping her get asleep, but just barely because there was just this sentiment that something was going to happen, and also, she had been waiting for Kurt to call and tell her he was alright, and that he had made it safe to Ohio. But that wouldn't come, she knew it, Kurt would be too caught up in greeting and food, in family and friends to call her. She had been the only one who couldn't make it to Ohio, like she had promised to her glee friends. Home for the holidays. Yeah right. And she hadn't told Kurt, or anyone for that matter, but she hadn't exactly wanted to go.
The rain started to intensify. In Ohio it was mostly just cold this time around the year, she still was getting used to the bipolar weather of New York but so far she liked it, like she had been born to live there, in the big apple. Some noise startled her.
One...two...three knocks on the door, the fourth one came as more insistent and the first situation she thought of was Kurt forgetting something and coming back for it, but that would be odd since Kurt had taken a cab to the airport four hours before. Her head went ahead to the second scenario while she got up quickly from her bed, which included a producer and some headhunter, and to be frank, to Rachel it seemed less likely than the first one. Her head stopped toying with the possibilities as she opened the door with one strong pull.
"Can I come in?" His hair was wet, that was the first thing she noticed, then the clothes which were as damp as his hair was. Jesse was carrying two bags, which sure enough, were keeping takeout from some restaurant.
Rachel's heart deemed at the sight of Jesse like this and smiled unconsciously. She had just missed him so much, more than she would have ever let herself admit. Rachel throw herself at Jesse and rested her head tightly on his chest while her arms were firmly tangled around him. She heard something being dropped to the floor, the bags with the food, then his arms were rounding her and his chin was on top of her head after he kissed her forehead chastely. They stayed like that for short minutes until Jesse talked.
"I'm sorry." She didn't want to get away from him, so she hold onto him even more than she already was. Rachel nodded.
"It's okay, the important thing is that you are here now." She said truthfully.
"No, Rach, listen." His arms weren't around her anymore and he lifted up her chin so that their eyes met. "I'm sorry I was so insecure about us, about you. I promise it will never happen again, it's just that, since life started for me, you are what I have always wanted the most and for some reason I never get to get you, completely, and the thought that I can now, it just seemed odd. Finn called when I was here, he just kept saying he was going to get you back..." He paused and looked away. "Anyway, I just thought you'd be better with him, you have been." He concluded and Rachel frowned. Maybe she had been ordinarily happy with Finn, but just the word 'better' didn't fit into those memories. It fitted into others, it fitted into right now.
"There's no one better for me than you." Rachel's own words caught her off guard. She realized then how much she had always believed on that statement, even before she had moved to New York, always lingering secretly in her mind.
Jesse had to acknowledge that she had just quoted what he had known all along about her, only it had been hidden for Rachel's perfect high school dream and the comfort that came with it. It was time to let it out too.
"Then we're on exactly the same page."
"So I said: 'you girls are going to need another cup." Everyone laughed at Puck's joke even though to Kurt it didn't make any sense and he started to worry about how maybe that was what it was going to happen for now on. That everybody would have new groups of people to hang out with whom would have different points of view and senses of humor. And he just didn't want that to happen. Not just yet at least. "Yeah but, guys I'd like to propose a toast to almost all of us keeping our promise to come home for Thanksgiving." To Kurt and to everyone it was pretty sure Puck was talking about Rachel and in the way he did, the way everyone were sharing glances almost spitefully, it made Kurt feel bad.
"Yeah! Cheers!"
"Cheers to us!"
"Kurt, how is Rachel?" Santana asked, with a big fake smile on her face. He could easily tell that Santana's life wasn't full of happiness like she had been telling people it was.
Kurt shared a glance with Finn almost too quickly for anyone to notice. He hadn't exactly thought through what was okay to say, but then again, Rachel hadn't prohibit anything to him, hadn't asked him to hide anything about her life or who she was currently dating and just for the slightest little tiny moment Kurt thought he could keep it a secret and spare himself any kind of trouble from either sides of the field.
"She's dating St. Jerk again." Finn announced, all eager to be the one to break the news even though it wasn't his place to, it wasn't anybody's place to. Just Rachel's.
"What?" Mercedes almost yelled trying to not spit her drink all over everyone. "How? When?"
"Yeah, I didn't even know he was in New York." Puck said indignantly as if he would have had the right to know first.
"I did." Quinn admitted. "I'm sorry Finn. She emails me every other week so we are kind of keeping in touch. I´m happy for her." Quinn's comment seemed to ease the heavy air that had started to grow between the friends. Kurt smiled at her thankfully.
"Just to answer everyone's unspoken questions. They've been dating for almost a month now. Jesse is in NYADA and has really changed." He said the last part also as a reminder to himself.
"You call him Jesse now?" Finn asked, scowling at his step-brother.
"Well, that is his name, Finn." Quinn intervened.
"Is Rachel happy?" Santana asked all of a sudden and everyone turned to see her. That one very question nobody had ever heard her ask, but in that moment everyone was wondering themselves the same thing so much to pay more attention to just that.
Trusting that his call to Jesse did any good, Kurt just answered by instinct. "She is."
"She did look like it last time I saw her." Mercedes remembered. "And no matter how much I may had disliked the guy before, her happiness is all that matters to me." She said smiling. "Please let her know that." She said now directed to just Kurt.
"That's all that matters to us." Puck spoke for everyone in the table, except for just maybe Finn who kept frowning but didn't said a thing.
"Hello?" Rachel answered her phone giggling and walking towards the fire escape ladder, stepping out of her apartment just for a moment. "Kurt? How is everything?"
"Well, if I am to trust your giggling and voice I'd say that not better than you right now, but it's okay." Said Kurt and Rachel smiled. She liked when people on their own noticed her mood and she didn't have to be spreading the news around.
"How's everyone? Did you talked to the guys?"
"Uh, yeah. I actually just had a meal with them, you know, maybe that was not the best move since Thanksgiving dinner comes next but I just had missed the BreadSticks food so much."
"Even after Isabel told you she had food poisoning there?"
"Even after that." He assured.
"So, what is everyone been up to?" Rachel said. She didn't know if she was doing a good job of hiding her furious curiosity, because she didn't want everyone to know just how truly she liked gossip.
"Santana's in college, still. Puck says he's living it out in LA. Mercedes is starting out as a background singer for some artist I don't know much about. Quinn had been bragging about entering some kind of secret Nazi sorority in Yale and Finn is trying to figure out how to run a glee club, he asked us to mentor some of his kids, but I said no, you know how I hate children." Rachel laughed out loud. "What?" Kurt said with his high pitch voice, frowning.
"Kurt, the people you're referring to as children are just two years younger than you are."
"My point exactly. Children." Rachel laughed a little more before giving up on the fact that there was no way to make Kurt change his mind around.
"I'm glad everyone is doing fine." Rachel said smiling and playing with the drops of the cold rain that were flowing down the ladder iron bars.
"They know about you and St. James." Kurt said slowly.
"You told them?" Rachel asked simply, calmed and focused on the inside of her apartment which just seemed to be warmer and warmer at every minute she spent out in the cold.
"No, Finn did. They all say they're happy that you're happy...you are happy, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am." She sighed. "Jesse came by a little while after you were gone, he apologized, and he brought food from this amazing restaurant downtown, you know neither one of us can cook. We were watching Chicago before you called." She said beaming with happiness. "Thanks for calling him by the way, he told me." Kurt chuckled and nodded, sure about how Rachel could almost see him do it.
"Anything for you." He assured. "Happy Thanksgiving, Rachel."
"You too. Enjoy your dinner and say hello for me to everyone, please."
"I will. Love you, see you soon."
"Bye, I love you too."
Rachel climbed down the fire escape ladder, closed the rigid window and walked towards the couch where Jesse was laying on.
"How's Kurt?" Asked Jesse who after seeing Rachel scoped over in the couch. She sighed.
"He's fine..."
"What's gotten in to you? Did he say something that upset you?" Jesse asked, his brow frowned in obvious concern. Rachel took the sit beside Jesse and let her head rest on his shoulder.
"No, nothing. It's just that...I miss my dads, the times I went over to Ohio were full of events and things I had to do. I didn't spend that much of a time with them and Thanksgiving was always so full of traditions, now I miss everything." Jesse grimaced. He loved how Rachel has the family he never did. But he always considered that he didn't miss his home that much because of how not close his family is; that he was able to move on so fast just because of that. And it was awful.
"It's okay to feel homesick, Rach. But you'll see your dads at Christmas and it'll be worth the waiting. You'll see." She half smiled at him, not being able to give him a genuine smile because if she attempted to, the tears would start to fall. Jesse gave her a peak on her temple and protected her with his embrace. Thinking of just how much his life had turned around in such a little amount of time. That had happened to him twice and both of that times had been because of Rachel. Now, he couldn't imagine his life without her, not even with the slight acknowledge of her whereabouts.
"I don't ever want to be alone again, Jesse...can you promise me I won't be? Please." Rachel said. Jesse turned to see her and watched how her eyes had gave in and the path that tears had marked was so visible because of the light.
"You won't Rach, I promise. Even if I'm not with you, you won't ever be." He held her tighter and grabbed her hand until her breathing was softer and he realized she had fallen asleep.
Jesse could acknowledge the harm he had done to people before in his life. He had to learn that words do actually hurt people and that things are not handed to you just because of how badly you want them to. That you have to work and make an effort for your dreams to come true; and that was one thing Rachel had taught him long ago. She had had to show everyone she did had what it's needed. She also taught him that the only way to grow as a person is to know that the things you do have consequences and you cannot take it lightly. He had admired Rachel for a long time now, but it wasn't until he was sweeping the tears off her face and holding her that Thanksgiving night that he realized...
"I love you."
Aaaaaand...that is it for now, I hope you liked it :D please leave me a comment with your thoughts on this chapter. I will update this soon, promise, hopefully before Christmas. And I wish you all a happy December ;)