Out of Mirkwood
Scribbles-on-Parchment
November 16, 2019
Chapter 19 – A Grief Too Deep
Êmand gently shut the door to Legolas's room and sighed heavily. He was going to find who had shot that arrow and what they had meant by it. It was the least he could do for the only two Sindar left in the royal family for he, himself, felt personally responsible for the death of the elfling.
The Silvan shook his head to try and clear it of these sorrow-filled thoughts. As he turned away from the ornate oak door Êmand jumped, startled to see that someone was watching him.
"Valar Meldir," Êmand put a hand to his chest feeling his heart pounding in the rush of adrenaline that had flooded his body, "Why must you hide in the shadows like that? Had I had my weapon in hand…"
The ellon broke off at the solemn look that had appeared in the dark brown eyes of the commander. Meldir stepped forward as Êmand's words died away, a sad smile flitting across his face.
"Goheno nin mellon. It was not my intention to startle you. I was walking past and saw that the door was open and for a moment I thought… it doesn't matter."
The Silvan reached out and put a hand on Meldir's shoulder
"You thought that perhaps this had all just been a dream and that Legolas was in here."
The brown eyes of the commander sparkled with unshed tears.
"I cannot bear it mellon. The pain that I see in Kélion's eyes and that which I feel in my own heart is more than I can endure. It is breaking me."
Êmand closed his eyes for a moment as Meldir said this for he knew exactly how the eldar was feeling.
"What if I had found the orc camp sooner? I could have saved him. Yet instead I wasted too much time searching the west woods when I should have gone south. When Haeren came back holding that lock of Legolas's hair I knew that I was too late. I failed him Êmand; I failed Kélion," the young commander looked down at the floor, his hands clenched at his sides, "I would rather it had been me that was killed. For now I am doomed to watch my best friend slowly fade and then the rest of the Greenwood along with him. It is a far more cruel fate than being killed by yrch. This is torture."
The older Silvan knew the strong bond of friendship that had grown between the crowned prince and Meldir. They had grown up together, never leaving each other's side, having the loyalty of brothers. It had been this loyalty that had gotten the eldar promoted to Captain of the Archers. Legolas had also been like a brother to the ellon and Êmand knew he was hurting deeply.
We all are.
After a moment of silence between the two, Meldir straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Well, I must attend to my duties. You have not seen Kélion have you?"
Êmand was instantly reminded of the two Sindar sitting under the tree, grieving together, comforting each other.
"He is out in the garden with his adar."
Meldir looked startled. "With Thranduil?"
"It might be better to see to him when he is finished. However, I am in need of your assistance."
The commander raised a slender eyebrow, "Then pray tell me what help I can offer you."
Kélion walked slowly out of the royal garden. He had been relieved the area had remained empty for so long. Perhaps Thalion had seen him and his adar together and had forbidden anyone from entering. He would not be surprised if this were the case, for this place was never so empty and lifeless.
As the prince set foot into the palace, he glanced back and saw his adar still kneeling by Legolas's grave, head bowed. The Sinda quickly turned away from the sight, tears prickling in his eyes. He would not cry again; he had been doing far too much of that today.
The ellon let the door close softly behind him before he began to make his way down the hallway towards the royal wing. The costly dark blue robes and tunic he had worn for his brother's funeral were growing increasingly uncomfortable, he needed to change. The soft padding of his soft boots on the cold, stone floor were the only thing to be heard in the deserted halls. Where was everyone?
Kélion shook his head and pulled at the collar of his tunic irritated. How was his adar able to wear clothes like this everyday?
Coming to the door to his own room, the crown prince put his hand on the handle and halted. Someone was coming towards him down the hall.
And he was not wrong, for it was only a moment later that Thalion came into view looking very agitated. The Sinda pulled his hand back from the handle and went to meet his adar's advisor.
"Care to tell me what is on your mind?"
The Silvan looked up quickly as the sound of Kélion's voice.
"I was not expecting to see you. Where is your adar? I must speak with him."
"He still grieves. I do not believe that now is the right time to bring him ill news."
"Then I shall tell you for I feel that one of you should be told."
Kélion felt his heart quicken. What more could Eru put him through? How much more could he lose before it crushed him?
"Is it Meldir?"
"How did you know?"
The prince felt his heart plummet, "So this is how it is going to be. One by one all those I care the most about will be taken from me. How badly injured is he?"
"What? Meldir was well when I last saw him. What I came to tell your adar is that Êmand and Meldir have left the palace."
This was not what the Sinda had been expecting to hear.
"Why?" Kélion demanded. If both ellyn ended up dead… he did not want to think about this.
"That I do not know. I was told by the guards at the gate that they left not long ago armed for battle. I fear greatly that they have gone to track down and kill the yrch that… that killed Legolas."
The prince turned away from Thalion and jerked his door open, anger filling his heart.
How could they be so selfish? Did they not care what would happen to him if he lost anyone else dear to him?
Once in his room the eldar began to tear off his silk robes as the Silvan watched from the doorway.
"What are you doing?"
"Going after them," the prince flung the rich clothes onto his bed, "I will not see them suffer the same fate as my brother. I am doing what I should have done for Legolas. I am going to stop them," he turned to look at his adar's advisor, "And you will do nothing to stop me. My mind is made up."
Thranduil sensed Thalion behind him, but he did not move. He could not. The Sinda felt frozen in place. For a moment, while he had been sitting with his oldest son, the pain in his heart had diminished some. The memories they had remembered and shared together had taken the elven king back to happier times. The sound of Legolas's laughter still rang in his mind, causing his heart to clench painfully. He would never get to hear it again.
"Mellon nín, I am sorry to disturb you but there is something that I fear you will want to know."
Thranduil sighed deeply. What had he done to deserve such grief? Why did the Valar hate him so? He could take little more.
"Tell me mellon, what foul news do you bring me?"
He did not turn to look at the Silvan but stayed on his knees in front of his wife and son's graves.
" I did not think you needed to be told; however, things have gone beyond my control. Êmand and Meldir have left the palace armed from war. I told Kélion of this and he, well, he went out after them. I could not stop him."
The Sinda's head jerked up. He looked at the eldar behind him, his fierce, sorrowful gaze startling the already flustered advisor.
"So, my fate is to lose everyone I love? And after I lose my last son will you too then be destined to die? Or will Eru spare me that pain and instead allow me to go first?"
The Silvan elf took a step back at the intensity of the grief that was flowing from the King. He had never before seen Thranduil look so defeated, so helpless, so lost.
Thalion knelt before his friend and grabbed the king's shoulders
"Not all is lost yet mellon! How have you given up so easily? Kélion is lost in his grief and has followed Meldir and Êmand to try and stop them from destroying themselves. You cannot blame him for that. He is blinded by his pain, but your eldest son is not dead."
The eldar thought this would bring the Sinda to his senses, but instead the king's blue eyes darkened and he turned away looking back to Legolas's grave.
"My son is dead and I will soon follow. Go and save Kélion if you wish but you are only condemning him a slower demise," the king's voice sounded tired and emotionless.
Thalion stumbled back, his heart crumbling as a soft choke escaped from his lips. Thranduil had given up; this was the first sign of fading.
The Silvan ellon turned away and walked slowly back out of the royal gardens. The death of the young prince had destroyed the king, yet at least Legolas would never have to know that his death would be the cause of ruin for them all.
Elvish Translations:
goheno nin – forgive me
mellon- friend
yrch – orcs
adar – father
mellon nín – my friend