The Rock pulled his vintage car keys from the ignition of his black 1885 Mercedes-Benz Patent-Motorwagen and placed them in his right pocket. He burst through the door making his presence known by playing his entrance theme on his phone. This was his workplace after retiring from his prestigious career as the world champion. The Hard Rock Café was the Rock's new ring and cuisine was his art. "Rocko! You showed up 5 hours late again, why don't you take the rest of the day off, eh?" Yelled Anthony, the manager in his annoying Brooklyn accent. The Rock stood in silence for a moment, his superstar presence gaining the attention of everyone in the dining room. Anthony approached the Rock cautiously "Hey Rocko… You uhh.. feelin' alright there, buddy?" The Rock reached up and slowly removed his sunglasses, everyone held their breath. Anthony watched in horror as the Rock raised his eyebrow. Quickly turning, he tried to escape but his pudgy legs weren't fast enough. He found himself on the receiving end of the electrifying rock bottom. There are NO days off when the Rock is in the kitchen. "Listen here Jabroni, you think just because you run the restaurant that you can tell the Rock what to do? When I step into this establishment I'm the star. I run the show. When the Rock steps in here the master of the kitchen! He's the master of the grill! Understand? Let me put this in worlds your backstreet, face stuffing, New York brain can understand: The Rock is like a Legendary Burger, in all its delicious glory and grilled perfection and you." He said, pointing at Anthony's disheveled flabby excuse for a physique. "You're just a starter. Meant to warm the customer up and entice their appetite for when the Rock arrives to deliver the taste bud smackdown!" Anthony found himself reminded of the fact he will never have as much worth as coal sent to Newcastle when in the shadow of the Rock and begin to cry silently to himself. The Rock fired up the grill, and as he did he thought to himself, yet also yelled out loud for no reason other than to establish his kitchen dominance "The Rock can't wait to get home, and play Knack for the PlayStation 4!" Satisfied with the fact that no one dared to challenge him he looked over at the orders. Noticing an order for one of his finger-licking honey mustard grilled chicken Sandwiches, he prepared to work on the dish. After its completion, he places it at the counter "Order up! Come taste what the Rock is cooking!" But as the recipient approaches the counter the rock recognizes him. A man the Rock knows all too well; a two-faced jabroni, the chump of all chumps, and his name is John Cena. "You've got a lot of nerve entering the Rock's place of work. His kitchen kingdom!" He directed at his 2-Time Wrestlemania opponent. "I hold the Girlfriend Championship" Replied Cena, with a large grin across his 16-time Champion face. "Siri, what's my name?" The Rock asked his Apple IPhone 8, "Your real name is Dwayne, but you've asked me to call you 'I love you Dwayne and no-one else" replied Siri, in her monotone, soulless, computer-generated voice. "She's lying to you man" John Cena laughed, he then pulled out his own IPhone 8 "Siri, what's my name" he asked, glancing up at the Rock with the corner of his mouth drawn up in a smile "Your real name is John," Answered Siri "but you've asked me to call you, I actually love you John, and the Rock is a loser" replied Siri. The Rock was taken aback, how? How could this be? "Contrary to what I often say, you will be 'C'ing Me with your girl" Chuckled John Cena confidently "Your time is up, my time is now! With Siri that is AND the girlfriend championship!" he snatched the title from around the Rock's waist where it had been sitting all this time. At this moment; Anthony, the giant engorged loser had finally regained his composure "You're Fired, The Rock!" He screamed. The Rock, in utter shock had no defense against this barrage of bad news did the only thing he could: leave. He shakenly enters his Motorwagon and pulls off into the streets, which were coincidently and very uncharacteristically quite dark and lonely. Gliding up to his mansion; the Rock puts on his adult size Sonic the Hedgehog costume, which he reserves for only the saddest occasions. He then enters his shower in full garb and proceeds to cry in uncomfortable groan man wails. This carries on for quite a while before he runs out of tears. Soon the Rock puts a stop to his sadness and after playing Knack for the PlayStation 4, he regains his confidence and drives back to his job. He enters the restaurant with a renewed fire in his heart; however, when he does he confronted by the smug and unshapely Anthony. "There's a new champion cooking for the Hard Rock Café!" he laughed, his pig-like jowls bouncing all along. "and his name is John Cena!" The Rock, having had enough delivers another rock bottom to his former manager. Smirking at Anthony's carcass and noting how he somehow looks even more pathetic this time he makes a B-line for the kitchen. As he moves forward, the crowd disperses and reforms following behind. The Rock finds John Cena and decides to attack first. He quickly jabs Cena again and again and crowd watches in awe as he pulls back, raises his hand in a clutching motion, then steps forward to deliver the people's punch, knocking John Cena flat on his back. They cheer but Cena is quickly back on his feet. Accumulating more and more people, the crowd is mystified watching as Rock and Cena exchange punches in the kitchen. Cena manages to grab both of the Rock's fists, but the receives a kick to the gut, and a DDT. The Rock, gaining momentum is carried from one side of the room to the other by his own electrifying energy and attempts to hit Cena with the people's elbow. Cena; however, leaps up out of harm's way at the last second meaning the Rock crashes down elbow first into the floor. The Rock attempts to recover but as he stands, His movements are countered by Cena who set's the Rock up for an Attitude Adjustment. John Cena then covers the Rock for the pin fall and Anthony hobbles his Michelin man body over to count "1, 2, 3" he fast counts, screaming excitedly. The crowd, in disbelief, is heartbroken and naturally, because John Cena won, he retains his job at the Hard Rock Café as well as the girlfriend championship. They say the Rock left that day a changed man. The loss of his job, his phone girlfriend, and his chance at redemption put The Rock in a downward spiral further deteriorating his mental state. He became bitter, he stopped exercising, stopped eating right. He became paranoid and erratic, attacking anyone who dared even mentioned his name. The Rock found that even playing Knack for the PlayStation 4 couldn't cheer him up. He realized that he had now hit rock bottom and proceeding accordingly with attention-seeking social media culture was about change his twitter profile picture to a crying anime boy. One day; however, the wrestling/cooking/girlfriend gods smiled upon the Rock and told him to improve as a person. He started by playing more Knack for the PlayStation 4, started working out again, and improving his eating habits. The Rock was ready to change for the better but before he could do anything else he received a call that changed everything. "I heard you haven't been doing well, Rock." Vince McMahon said through the phone. "I want to help you redeem yourself. Here's what I propose: You versus John Cena! at Wrestlemania for the position of head chef at the Hard Rock Café AND the girlfriend championship" the Rock was taken "But Vince, how can you decide who the head chef is at the Hard Rock Café?" "Easy" replied Vince "I bought them out!" They shared a laugh at Vince McMahon's billionaire antics "Let's Rock" the Rock yelled out loud before training. The Rock physically pushed his body, working it back up to peak physique in the few days leading up to his match, and he finally found the time to beat Knack for the PlayStation 4. Backstage, The Rock took notice of his nemesis, the man that took his Apple IPhone girlfriend and his job "Looks like we're slated to have a match." The Rock yells out, announcing his presence. Looking at the booking card with the past month's events, John Cena smirks. "You're in over your head, Rock. Face it, you're losing another job tonight!" to this the Rock cocks an eyebrow. "The being alive job!" Cena stammered "I mean can you even beat Knack for the PlayStation 4?" he laughed yet again with a smirk on his face, "I beat Knack for the PlayStation 4 Yesterday, and I'm beating you tonight, You're going to regranite" The Rock reassured Cena. "It's the franchise boy, Vince McMahon owns me" Cena replied back, trying to install fear into The Rock. ""I'm a boulder boy, and you're a just a fruity pebble" The Rock spoke, reminding John Cena of the time he was a cereal mascot. The match began, and Dwayne ran over to put John Cena in a Triangle Hold, "The Rock's got Cena in a Love Triangle Hold" responded Michael Cole, who was just as annoying as always. John managed to break free and perform a Belly to Back Suplex on to his opponent. The Rock was being stomped on, but before Cena could get a fourth stomp in, Dwayne grabbed his leg and tripped him. The Rock grabbed a nearby chair and threw it at Cena who blocked it with arms. Cena, noticing an opportunity grabbed the chair and smashed The Rocks head with it, Dwayne got up and went in to the ring, but it was a trap, Cena also attempted to get in, but was thrown in from the ropes. Dwayne performed The Peoples Elbow, but this time, he finished the move. Noticing his opportunity, The Rock picked up John Cena, and hit his finisher, The Rock Bottom. "1, 2, 3" The referee counted, The Rock won, he picked up his apple to hear his name "Siri, what's my name" The Rock asked, just as he did weeks ago, "Your name is Dwayne, but you've asked me to call you, I love John, not you, I never loved you, And I never will. Also Knack for the PlayStation 4 was bad. "replied Siri, in her monotone soulless, computer-generated voice. "What?" exclaimed Dwayne, knowing he didn't ask for a name change. "I broke into your house and spliced together clips from Disney's Moana" answered John Cena, telling of what happened, but both men had a bigger problem to deal with, Anthony. He walked out to the ring armed with an 1891 Carcano Rifle, he was packing heat, and he wanted revenge, "I want revenge" he shouted out loud, he then held up Dwayne's copy of Knack for the PlayStation 4 and shot it. Although The Rock was fast and furious, knew not to approach, and what to do The Rock had a plan they both agreed on, Cena would sneak up on Anthony and hit him with an Attitude Adjustment, while Dwayne distracts him. The Rock had to find any shelter and not get hit once, he leaped to safety, and Anthony missed, but that's exactly what he wanted to happen. He laughed like a crazed maniac, he had set a trap the day prior, and Dwayne fell into a hole. Cena hit his current boss with three Attitude Adjustments, and he was downed to the ground, The Rock, now having climbed back up from the hole, decided to Re-enact his experience from the Hard Rock Café fight, went to the ground as Cena pinned Anthony, The Rock went and counted "1, 2, 3". The Rock had now finished counting, called for the bell to ring, and held Cena's arm up, for he was the winner of the match, and Dwayne's friendship. Both men would later change their names on their phones. John Cena got a job as a sales office worker in Massachusetts, yet still works for the WWE. Dwayne got his Apple girlfriend back and quit the WWE to become an elephant poop catcher. Anthony was arrested after gaining conscious for illegal possession of firearms, first degree attempted murder, and destroying the masterpiece known as Knack for the PlayStation 4. He is serving a life sentence in a maximum security prison.