Disclaimer: characters and what not belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just here to fix/fuck a few things up depending on your views or team.
Jake was about to blur the lines again . . . .
We had gone to the movies, it was supposed to be a group of us, most people had the stomach flu or didn't want to go to a movie with me again, cough Jessica cough cough, so it was me, Jake and Mike. Mike was now tossing his cookies in the men's room. I had called his mom to have her come get him and offered to follow her back to the Newton's in his car and Jake would follow me and take me home after. That was the plan, and it was a good plan until Jacob had to go and pat the seat next to him and like a dumbass I went knowing he wants more than a friendship. Sure as shit he put his arm around me, my instincts screamed for me to move away and shrug off his arm. Instead I took a moment to ponder. I had been having good dreams involving a house and Jake and kids and the whole apple pie American dream I should want according to societal standards so I didn't pull away. I did the unexpected and leaned in and took the hand on my shoulder in mine and squeezed lightly. Then I felt Jake kiss the top of my head.
"I know this is difficult for you, thank you for letting me have this moment," he whispered.
"Jake," I sigh, "We have a lot to talk about, there are things I need to tell you." I replied
"Bells, it's okay, just let me have this moment to pretend that you aren't going to put me back in the friend zone, " he pleaded.
"Jake it's not that, look once we drop off Mike, can we go to First Beach and talk, please?" I ask
"Of course Bells, anything for you," he says as he looks into my eyes
Then impulsive me gives him a soft peck on the lips
"Thanks Jake"
Then we sit in comfortable silence waiting for Mrs. Newton to arrive.
After she arrives and gets an empty popcorn bucket for Mike everything goes as planned, except now I have time alone to think while driving Mike's car to his house. My thoughts race, wondering if whatever is happening between Jake and I is a betrayal and if it is whom am I betraying the guy who didn't want me or is exploring this a betrayal to myself or am I doing this out of some obligation to Jake? AHHHHHHH my anxiety is making my head spin and I know I'm going to cry. We drop off Mike and I hand over his keys, as soon as I shut the door to Jake's car and I'm buckled in I take his hand and the flood gates open. Jake lets me cry while tracing calming circles on the back of my hand and driving. This is when I know it's going to be okay, he doesn't ask me for an explanation, he doesn't press, he just lets me feel and he always has through all this. Yes he's helped me pick up the pieces but he's never told me what to do with them. As we arrive at First Beach I start to shake knowing I'll have to tell Jake everything!
I hear his door open and shut as he exits the vehicle and I pull my knees up to my chest and hang my head in my lap, tears still streaming down my face. My door opens, the seat belt is released and I reach my arms out knowing Jake will be there, he lifts me up and I curl into his chest as he carries me to "our log". Jake just holds me and lets me cry while stroking my back and kissing the top of my head.
"Take your time Bells, whenever you're ready, I'll listen" he reassures me.
"Jake, why do you have to be so fucking nice to me?" I mumble, "I am a terrible person, you should hate me." It doesn't escape me that this is similar to what fuck nugget Edward told me when we first met. Jake grabs my chin in his thumb and forefinger so I have to look at him.
"Listen carefully, because I only want to say this once, You are NOT a terrible person Isabella Marie Swan, you are the kindest, most giving person I have ever known. I know you have been through some terrible shit so maybe sometimes you act irrationally, but after my mom died and now this shit with Sam and Embry, I have done the same, but one thing I am sure about and always know I can count on is my love for you Bells, I know we're young but even though you're only 18 and I'm only 20 we've been through some shit that has aged us so I think we're mature enough to know when something is real, and whatever this is between us is the start of something real, I am in love with you, and I was taught that when a man is in love with a woman he treats her like the rarest gem and I know it scares you but I can be patient Bells"
Then he gently kisses my forehead. I touch my forehead to his and look down as I take a deep breath to tell Jake just how I feel.
"Jake, I'm damaged goods, Ed…..Edward," I choke, "shattered me, you helped me find the pieces and let me slowly put myself back together, you've been here for me in a way no one else has been, and you deserve a woman who isn't damaged, who doesn't need to be fixed"
Suddenly there is a finger on my lips.
"Shhh Bells, you don't need to be fixed, when I say I love you, I mean all of you, even the broken bits, fuck Bells those might just be the best parts because it's what brought you to me."
"Jake, when I was with Edward he gave me a family, told me he loved me, but I always felt not quite good enough, then he took that all away and told me it was because our relationship was just a game to him, that they were moving and he never loved me, he gave me the world then tore it away and it broke me, I wouldn't survive that again Jake, I am terrified to let you in and to love you back and to accept your love, shit just telling you this makes me want to run and hide." I tell him between gasps for air and shaking in fear.
"There are so many what ifs Jake, what if I lose you to Sam's gang or your dad needs you or you decide to get out of La Push or so many other things that could take you from me, and I just don't know if I could handle that."
He takes my chin into his hand again so he can look into my eyes.
"Bells I swear it would take an act of Taha Aki for me to do anything that would cause you more pain, I will never willing leave you, I. Love. You." He declares
Then he passionately kisses me, and even though I didn't think I was ready I kiss him back because kissing has never felt this indescribable.
Author's Note: I actually don't know what to title this yet so I am open to suggestions. I also know how the story is going to end but I am not sure how much to include for the middle as far as Victoria and Laurent so that's also open for suggestions.