CPOV

I looked at Ana's stoic and tense posture; she looked like she was in shock. This wasn't how I wanted to do it, I wanted to wait and do it right, but now? I feel like I'm depriving her of another experience. Having been told that Danny was playing dirty, talking to the other families about how I was running things without following Cosa Nostra. Yes, technically, I hadn't signed as the new Boss of the family, but my family could care less about that shit. I'm good at what I do.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she asked, shock still apparent in her voice.

"This wasn't how I wanted to do this; I feel like we're skipping a step…." I tried to explain as I run my hands through my hair. "Before the other families can consider me the official Boss of their family, I need to be married."

"No… no…" she whispered as she jumped out of the chair so quickly it fell to the floor, now it was my turn to be shocked. Did she not want to marry me? Not like I've officially asked her… I mean I want to, but if she's going to react this way. And why wouldn't she want to? What would make her repel from the mere idea, we had talked about being together for the long haul. I know this is abrupt and I sort of sprang this up on her, but I know she was my forever and after all the shit we went through I figured she felt that too. But the way she's acting tells me otherwise.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I can't," she whispered, backing away from me, "I just can't."

"No, Ana," I cry out, I felt like my heart was breaking, "let me explain… this isn't how I wanted to do it-"

"I have to go," she exclaims, I tried to grab her before she yanked the door open.

"Ana, stop," I ran to catch her while she ran down the hall.

"Christian?" Carrick looked at the two of us confused, I shook my head at him and bolted in Ana's direction.

"Stop, please," I yell. Shit, the girl's fast. I sprinted and wrapped my arms around her just as she pressed the button to the elevator. "Were you really trying to leave?" I looked at her anger filling my body, I understand that she would want some space, but not actually leave. She's not only blowing this out of proportion by not even stopping to talk about it rationally, but she's now endangering herself. The former was forgivable, but the latter is not.

The anger I felt for her carelessness, raged inside me.

"Answer me," I growled at her, I didn't want to be so aggressive, but fuck is she being careless. Does she not care enough for her own safety?

"Ye-yes," she stuttered.

"Do you not care about yourself?" I seethe, running my hand through my face. I hadn't looked at her since I stopped her from stepping into the damn elevator, I looked at her small frame. "I understand if you don't want to marry me and that you need your space to think all of this over, but that does not mean you should put yourself in danger."

"I have to go," she murmurs and quickly sidesteps into the elevator.

"No!" I yell, but the doors have closed. What the fuck is wrong with her?

I immediately take my phone out and have my security take her to my parents, she didn't want to stay here, then she doesn't have to. I steeled my resolve to forget about this infraction, she doesn't want to stay with me then the original plan will go ahead. Her father called me yesterday but asked me not to tell her that we were in contact. All he wanted to know was if she was safe and then immediately disconnected.

What a prick.

I hadn't had the heart to tell her, her parents are all pricks. Maybe this was about that, but does she not have enough faith in us? Did she even love me or was it one of those in the moment type of proclamation? Until I can finalize her travel plans, she will stay at my mother's or at any of my other places. At least she'll be safe.

"Bro, where's Ana?" Elliot asks.

"She left," I deadpan.

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" I roll my eyes and walk into my office.

"Christian, are you okay?" Carrick asked as he sat in one of the chairs facing my desk.

"Yeah, just finalizing some travel plans for Anastasia."

"You'll work it out, it was a big surprise."

"Yeah, I don't think so," I murmured and continued working, ignoring him.

"Can you let Ma know that I'm not going to be coming for family dinner this weekend, and can you please ask Ana if she prefers to stay at a hotel?"

"Maybe you should ask her yourself, you're being a bit immature about all of this?"

"She's the one who left without an explanation," I said, slamming my phone on the desk.

"Maybe it isn't about you," Carrick offers.

"Doesn't matter, she'll be leaving soon."

"What about marriage?"

"I'll marry someone, but it will be of my choosing."

"Christian, I want you to be happy and marrying into a loveless marriage isn't the answer."

"Well, the only woman I wanted to marry ran away from me."

"Don't be so impulsive, give her some space, she will come back to you if you two are meant to be."

"How can you be so sure?"

"She looks at you the way my mother looks at me," he shrugs and stands up, "just think about it."

xx

I spent the rest of the afternoon dealing with Ana's flight. If my father is willing to act out our ruse then that gives me a little time to figure her out this shit. The next meeting with the five families will be in two months, which means to I need to figure out this marriage deal pretty fucking quick. I love Ana, but I don't think she feels the same way for me.

That alone is killing me; if I were out right now I would most definitely find some shit to kill.

I was interrupted from my musings by the shrill ringing of my phone.

"Grey," I said tersely.

"Sir, Miss Ana is in the lobby, shall I let her in?"

I paused for a moment; she's probably here to pack up her things. Despite all of this shit, I still can't get her out of my mind. The way she smells and the way she moves, her blush, fuck… no stop thinking about her.

After a few minutes, there was a stern knock, she's here.

"Sir, Miss Ana's here," Wes introduced her.

"Just let her in, no need for formalities," I motioned for her to come in, but never looking away from my computer. I couldn't look at her in fear of what was going to happen. Look what she's done to you, you fucking pussy.

I feel her presence in front of me, but still, I don't look up. I vividly hear the door closing quietly; it was silent for what seemed like hours. I know I was playing a stupid game, but my ego's been wounded.

"Christian," Ana says quietly.

"Yes?" I said, and for once hearing her voice didn't soothe me it only fuelled my ire. She left me. She promised that she wouldn't, but then again she's lied about loving me. I can't trust her.

"Can we talk?" she asks softly.

I grunted, "Oh? You want to talk now?"

"Yes."

"I'm a little busy finalizing your travel plans," I said nonchalantly. I know low blow, but really I'm not thinking straight.

"Why?" she asks.

This time I actually looked up, "Are you kidding?"

"No…"

"Well, let's see I bring up a possibility of marriage," I seethe. "But you left too quickly for me to mention that it didn't mean that I was planning to marry you." Fuck, Christian, you're a dick, but I really could care less at this point.

I heard her gasp which made me finally look straight into her eyes and felt immediate guilt as her eyes filled with tears. Great, you've just made the woman you love to cry.

"You don't have to be cruel, Christian," she whispered and got up from her seat.

"You can stay in one of my hotels, I'll have Wes escort you," I continued to drive the wedge between us.

"Thank you," she says softly as I heard her quietly sob. It crushed my heart to hear her cry, but my pride kept me rooted to my chair.

I immediately called Wes to make arrangements for Ana to be escorted to Bayshore.

As the night drew on I continued to drink, I knew I couldn't blackout, so I tried to keep my emotions in check. I couldn't let go. No, she can't have control over me like that anymore.

By the time I had dragged myself to bed I had finished the rest of the bottle, I slept on her side so I could smell her, but really that was just my punishment. I couldn't deal with it anymore, so I went into a guest bedroom to fall asleep in peace.

xx

I didn't answer or leave my house for three whole days, I think today is Sunday. I can't be too sure, Elliot had come to my office at some point, we set up one last meeting with Danny. I've implemented the takedown of his "empire" instead of striking one at a time, it will be simultaneous, but Danny will be left to me. I know there will be a backlash with the other families, but we're prepared for it.

"Okay, get up! I did not raise you to be a weak man," Grace said as she entered my bedroom. I had the housekeeper change the sheets, pretty much remove everything that was Ana. I didn't need any reminder that she wasn't in my life anymore, I was already living it.

"Ma, I'm trying to sleep," I groan.

"Fuck you are," she exclaims, "it's 2:00 pm. You missed church… and Ana, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I told you I wouldn't come to Sunday dinner, therefore no church."

"To hell, you're not!"

"Ma, stop yelling."

"This is where our future lies?" she scoffs, "With some man who runs away with his tail between his legs when life gets hard. I know what Ana did, but this? This is far worse. You're catatonic."

"Am not, Elliot came on Friday and did some work."

"And now it's Sunday, you need to get up."

"She doesn't love me," I said to no one.

"Is that what she told you?"

"No-"

"Listen here Christian, you will sober up, have a bath, and then get ready for dinner."

"I don't want to."

"You are not missing Sunday dinner, because you feel like you're not getting your way, man up. Did you not listen to what she said to you that night?"

"She didn't say anything-"

"Yeah, I heard, just get up and get ready. I'll be right outside; I'll drive us back home."

"Fine," I groan. I drag myself out of bed and downed of painkillers and punished myself with a scalding hot shower.

"Ready," I groaned as I saw my mother sitting with her legs crossed on a couch.

"Great," she smiled tightly, "let's go."

xx

Kate has been trying to talk to me the entire time that I had been drinking on the couch, but I've been successfully ignoring her chattering.

"Where is she?" she asks, "Ana…"

Did she really just ask why the fuck Ana wasn't here? I quirk my eyebrow at her and stand up to refill my drink. I really don't want to hear her voice and Ana's name in the same breath, I downed my third drink as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Hey bro," Elliot booms from the other side of the room, "you missed church, you lucky bastard."

"Yeah," I grunted and bee-lined to the ottoman in the room.

Then I felt her gaze.

I didn't look up, because if I did I would fracture. Fuck, you're pussy.

"Hello, Christian," she whispers, her soft voice was near me.

I grunted my response and drank the rest of my Dutch courage.

"Can we talk?" she spoke softly.

"I don't see what we would have to talk about," I said sternly, my gaze still fixed on a spot on the wall.

"Dinner's ready," Grace exclaims.

Fucking finally. I stood up, but apparently, she hadn't moved from her spot, thus I came face to face with her. My only weakness.

Her usually beautiful and vibrant blue eyes were dull with dark bags. She looked like she had lost a little bit of weight, too. Was she feeling the effects as much as I had?

Though despite all of that, she was still so beautiful. Maybe in a more morose kind of way, but beautiful nonetheless, especially since I hadn't laid eyes on her for what seemed like forever.

We all walked into the dining room, unlike the family dinner we had only a week ago. I was sat next to Elliot, my father at the head of the table with the ladies sitting directly across from us. Ana was in the middle, looking so small and fragile. All I wanted to do was lunge across the table and hold her, smell her, feel her skin on mine, that electric shot that ran throughout my body was sorely missed.

Dinner went by as usual, well as usual as it could be. Ana and I didn't contribute to any of the conversations unless a question was directed right at us and even then all answers were pretty generic.

After dinner, I tried to excuse myself and try to head home, but my mother would have none of that. She insisted that I have some brandy with the men while the ladies talk, fearing my mother's wrath I conceded.

"What's up with you, bro?" Elliot asks as the door closes to the study.

"Nothing," I groaned, "why did you bring Ana?"

"It's all ma's idea," he shrugged, "you should talk to her, she hasn't been handling with it well… better than you, but still pretty bad."

"Stop this foolishness, Christian, you're being a lot more stubborn than usual. Your work is suffering too." He patted my back, "Sawyer and Elliot had to deal with the South Americans."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked fury boiling in my body.

"You're not in the right frame of mind, son."

"I'm the head of the family, everything goes through me," I gritted out.

"Doesn't matter," he gives me a pointed look, "you've locked yourself away, drank into a stupor and all for what? A woman who will gladly put your problems to rest, if only you would listen to her."

"You know nothing about our problems," I sneer.

"Do you know how many times Ana has asked to see you?" He squeezed my shoulder, "I had to counsel her against it. Could you imagine if she had walked in on you in your state?" he shudders.

"That wasn't your decision to make," I clench my fists.

"It was," he says softly, "you weren't in the right frame of mind-"

"You think that I would hurt her?" I punched the desk; "I would never lay a finger on her."

"You don't have your anger under control when it comes to her son-"

"I would never fucking hurt her," I exhaled slowly. I would only prove his claim, so instead, I took deep breaths. I stand up from my chair and head out the door without a goodbye to neither my father nor my brother.

I opened the door and hastily stepped out; resulting in me colliding with the one woman I tried to side-step from all night. Ana.

"Christian, may we speak somewhere private?" Ana's small voice filled the long, empty hallway. I shook my head and tried to step away, but she was too quick and grabbed my arm to stop me from walking away. The same electric shock passes through my body making me inadvertently shiver, fucking hormones.

"If we must," I murmured.

I led her to a spare room, situating myself on a chair near the window; she grabs another chair and places it directly next to me.

"Christian, I'm sorry for running-"

I snorted at her, I know I'm not being mature, but fuck propriety.

"You left me," I said, "I told you that I needed to get married, but instead of talking to me about it, you leave. You left me without a word.

"I know," she interrupts me, "I panicked, it wasn't-"

"You, it was me," I laughed sarcastically finishing off her sentence, "I know you didn't mean the shit you said, and I was so fucking sick for you that I believed it so easily."

"No, Christian-" she grabbed my hand, but I yanked it away. The look on her face was of pure sorrow, I immediately felt my guilt rising.

"Enough, I don't want to hear anything else," I said abruptly, "you are detrimental to my lifestyle and I can't afford any more distractions." I looked at her as her eyes filled with tears, but I couldn't stop. She needed to leave. "You are to leave in two days; your travel itinerary has been planned and will take you to an undisclosed location, you will have everything you will need. I'm afraid the only communication you will have to the outside world is a weekly grocery list."

Her body slumps in defeat, she nods her head and stands up.

"Thank you," she whispers.

I hear a faint 'I love you' before the door closes behind her. Just like that, I let the only other woman I love walk away from me.

After a few minutes I hear loud shouting coming closer to the room, I ran my hand through my hair to relieve some stress from the night.

"Christian Grey Gambino, get your fucking ass off of your seat," my mother bellows. My mother seems very demure and sophisticated, but if you truly knew her, you'd know she is a product of her environment. Born and raised in Brooklyn, she swears like a sailor and her right hook is a frightening sight.

She stalks up to me and smacks me upside the head, "You're letting the only woman who will put up with all of your shit walk away. I didn't raise you to be a dumbass."

"Ma, she doesn't want to be with me!"

"Are you kidding?" she cried out, "She begged Carrick to let her see you, but because you were wallowing in your own filth he advised against it. I know you would never lay a hand on her, but no one should be subject to your tirades. You never once let her speak, you just ran your mouth like the stubborn man you are."

She seethes, "Christian, she wants to be with you, can't you see that? She ran because of her past, I knew her mother, and if I were her daughter I would be just as fucked up as Ana is. Now I know that she is a wonderful, brave, and a bright young woman, but believe me when I say that she is still harbouring much of her tribulations from her past. This isn't my story to tell, it's hers, now you can be the man I raised and actually listen to her or be the fool who lets her slip away. She loves you, trust in that."

xx

I lay in bed tossing and turning, thinking about my mother's words. I was just being stubborn, not letting her speak, but the woman crushed my heart.

But I will confess that I'm partly to blame.

I ran my hands through my face, I love Ana and the last few days have been hell. Unable to eat, sleep, or even do any fucking work. My affection, well more like obsession with her is unhealthy. Especially when it appears to be one-sided.

I looked over at my clock 1:35 am, I couldn't even think about anything but Ana. I missed her in my bed, her voice, the way her fingers traced circles on my chest, most of all I missed her. It's like living without a limb.

Only one more day until she's safely tucked away in a little corner of the world, who knows when I'll be able to see her again? And having to find a woman to marry just to appease the other families makes me feel sick. The only woman I can see with me is Anastasia, despite my present and her past, she's the woman I want to be with. Flaws and all.

Without another thought, I pick up the phone on my bedside table and called the front desk at the hotel Ana was staying in.

After being connected, I inhaled deeply as Ana's sad voice filled my ear.

"Hello?"