Sabine's gaze fell on Adrien, then on Marinette, then again on Adrien. Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in the situation. Frozen with fear, the two teenagers did not dare to make the slightest movement.
They had been discovered.
Completely, stupidly, undeniably discovered.
"I-I... I... I promise you that there is an explanation", Marinette stammered awkwardly under the piercing gaze of her mother, while Adrien flushed with shame.
"I don't doubt it," Sabine replied mechanically.
As the heroine of Paris began to stammer out some weak excuses, her mother interrupted her with a brief gesture of the hand. Sighing heavily, Sabine Cheng pinched the bridge of her nose before again raising her eyes to her daughter and her boyfriend.
"I want to see you in the living room in ten minutes," she snapped at them. "I need to talk to your father a bit first," she clarified, training her penetrating gaze on Marinette, "then the four of us will have a little chat."
Now dangerously pale, the heroine of Paris mechanically nodded, while an equally pale Adrien did the same. Sabine gave them one last look, then finally turned on her heel to leave the room.
"Oh nononononononono," Marinette moaned just as the trapdoor closed on her mother. "I am done. We are done. My parents will never want you to come back again. And I'm going to get punished. I'm going to get punished so badly! I will not be allowed to go out until I turn eighteen. No, until I turn twenty-one!"
Letting herself fall flat on her bed, Marinette buried her pale face in her hands. A gasp of horror escaped her a few seconds later. She rose up as sharply as if she had been moved by a gigantic spring, her bulging eyes fixed on Adrien.
"And Ladybug?", she said in a plaintive tone as she began to pace nervously around her mezzanine. "How am I going to save the world as a Ladybug if I'm locked in my room until I'm twenty-one?"
She accompanied each of her words with large jerky gestures, while her breath became more and more panting.
"My Lady, calm down", Adrien advised her with palpable concern, while glaring at a hilarious Plagg. "I think you're hyperventilating."
"I'm not hyperventilating, I'm breathing fast!", Marinette immediately replied, before letting out a brief cough.
More and more worried, Adrien stood up smoothly to stand next to his girlfriend, whose chest was rising and falling at an alarming rate. He slipped an arm around Marinette's waist, before suddenly realizing that he had absolutely no idea how to appease his partner's legitimate panic. Normally, he would probably have found the right words. But now, he was himself far too close to a panic attack to think properly.
"Ok ok ok", he said feverishly, "try to think of something that can help you relax... The ocean, for example," he continued with an enthusiasm that was all the more admirable as he felt like he was dying inside. «It's great, the ocean! It's relaxing! You can... You just have to imagine that you are a seagull which flies over the waves..."
"A seagull which flies over the waves, takes a plastic bag on its head, rushes straight into a storm, is struck by lightning and is locked up in its room until it is twenty-one years old," Marinette stubbornly mumbled.
As Plagg let out a thunderous burst of laughter - that earned him strong remonstrances from Tikki-, Adrien bit his lips sharply, before a nervous smile spread across his face.
"I am not sure that a seagull can be so unlucky, Princess", he replied, hugging her, as much to comfort her as to reassure himself. "And no one is going to lock you up in your room until you're twenty-one."
The two teenagers spent the next ten minutes trying to calm their budding panic attacks, with Tikki's kind help and under the mocking laughter of a clearly more amused than compassionate Plagg. Then, once they had both regained a semblance of control of their distraught emotions, they both went to the living room with as much enthusiasm as a pair of convicts to their gallows.
As agreed, Tom and Sabine were waiting for them, sitting on their couch.
Adrien and Marinette advanced without daring to meet their piercing eyes, before settling down at the other end of the sofa. The pale complexion of the two teenagers offered a striking contrast with their cheeks flushed with shame. They had never felt such a strong desire to be anywhere but here. In comparison, even Hawkmoth's harsh attacks or Chloe's virulent outbursts of anger seemed to be a more attractive perspective than the embarrassing situation they were in.
"Okay, before you say anything", said Marinette in a tense voice, "I assure you that there is a perfectly logical explanation for this."
"Very well, we are listening to you", Tom replied immediately, crossing his arms while awaiting his daughter's explanations.
Oops, again.
"Brilliant idea, Marinette", the girl thought bitterly. For the moment, she had not the beginning of an idea to explain the presence of Adrien in her room and in her bed.
"Adrien is Chat Noir, I am Ladybug, and we often rest here on our way back from patrol?" True, but impossible to confess. "He came here to study and we both fell asleep without wanting to?" Why not, but it didn't explain why they had concealed the teen's presence. "I didn't realize I had locked him up in my room by mistake when he came to visit me yesterday at noon?" Not credible. "Somebody threatened to kidnap Adrien and I'm hiding him under my quilt for his protection?" Even less credible.
She was done.
"So. It's actually very simple," Marinette began, praying with all her might to find a plausible excuse along the way. "You'll see."
Then she stopped, already short of ideas.
Done.
"Yes?", encouraged her father, raising an attentive eyebrow.
Done, done, done.
"It's really nothing, in fact. I'm not sure it's worth telling you," she resumed with a nervous laugh, finally giving up trying to explain anything. "It's not interesting at all... Really not, I assure you", she added, while her parents' expression clearly showed that they were on the contrary very, very interested.
Completely, totally, definitely done.
"Everything my fault!", Adrien intervened abruptly, startling the Dupain-Chengs.
Marinette looked at him with a mixture of surprise and hope, but the frantic expression of her partner indicated that he too had thrown the first sentence that crossed his mind without thinking of an acceptable explanation.
"Yes, uh, it's because of... Well, you know...", he stopped miserbly, before glancing desperately at Marinette.
"Ah yes", she resumed nervously, not knowing what else to add, "The... Well, the... Well, he... Yes, yes, absolutely! But you can tell them, I think," she concludes with a wave of her hand towards him, inviting him to continue her story.
" No you !", Adrien exclaimed in a panic-stricken voice, shaking his head vigorously from right to left.
An alarmed expression painted itself again on the features of Marinette, who opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, her big blue eyes wide with stress. Her resemblance to a fish thrown out of his jar would have been comical in other circumstances, but at this moment, the two teenagers clearly didn't want to laugh.
"Yes, so, uh... In fact… It all started yesterday," she began in a tone she hoped to be convinced, but which unfortunately did not deceive anyone. «It's... Uh... It's..."
"In fact, I had a fight with my father last night, and I went out of my house to clear my head," said Adrien, in a dazzling crisis of common sense.
It was certainly not the best excuse in the world, but at least it offered the benefit of being vaguely believable.
"Yes, that's exactly it," Marinette adds in a loud voice. "Outside. He was outside because he had a fight with his father."
Tom and Sabine exchanged a skeptical look, before turning their attention back to the teenage couple.
"None of this explains why you spent the night together", resumed Sabine calmly, obviously far from being satisfied by this poor outline of explanation.
"I-I... I p-proposed to him to come here to talk about it," Marinette stammered hastly.
"In the middle of the night?", her father immediately said, frowning slightly.
"This... I-It wasn't planned," gasped the distraught girl. "It's just... It's that... He... He arrived late? Because... Because he got lost?"
Oops, again and again.
Adrien buried his face in his hands, helplessly witnessing the legendary ravages of Marinette's flushes of panic, which conscientiously destroyed the few credible explanations that they had so far managed to provide. As if there were the slightest chance that he would get lost in the few streets that separated their respective homes.
Streets that he walked several times a week to spend time with his charming girlfriend, by the way, which made Marinette's lie even less credible.
"And I suppose this is not the first time Adrien got lost to your room?", Sabine asked inquisitively, obviously giving up on getting a clear and precise explanation of the teen's presence.
"I-It is?", Marinette stammered unconvincingly, when Adrien let slip a shameful "No".
The two teenagers immediately exchanged a desperate look, before blushing even more.
"N-No, it's not the first time", admitted Marinette, looking down.
She heard her father breathe a heavy sigh, then raised her head when her mother continued her merciless interrogation.
"Can we know how long has this little game been going on?", asked Sabine in a dangerously soft voice.
Marinette remained silent for a while. Normally, she could have traced with the most perfect accuracy the slightest events and information relating to Adrien. But right now, her brain, paralyzed by apprehension, was clearly no longer able to perform any calculations.
"A-A few w-weeks", she mumbled miserably, while Adrien murmured "four months and seventeen days" in such a low voice that only his girlfriend could hear him.
Surprised by such accuracy, the heroine glanced sharply at Adrien, whose face was lit up with a shy smile.
And for the first time since her mother had surprised them, Marinette suddenly felt herself breathing more freely. This was perhaps the most appallingly embarrassing situation they had ever found themselves in, but at least they were facing it together.
(Although the fact that they had been together that very morning was at the heart of the problem they were facing now, but that was another debate.)
While Marinette's thoughts were delightfully escaping reality, the Dupain-Chengs seemed not to be done with this story. Sabine exchanged a meaningful look with her husband, who nodded slightly in collusion. Then, she let out a slight fit of coughing which immediately brought back Marinette to the present moment.
The teenager froze, mechanically clenching her fists around her knees.
Her parents had not yet talked about her punishment and they were very clearly about to bring up the subject. It was unthinkable that they would let such a breach of their rules pass without cracking down. Adrien's visits would certainly have to take place under the strictest supervision, assuming that they were still allowed. The Jagged Stone concert that Marinette was scheduled to attend the following week was likely to be ruthlessly cut from her schedule. Not to mention that she could certainly say goodbye to her pocket money for the coming months.
"Well", her mother began in a firm voice. "I suspect that you certainly don't want to hear what I'm about to tell to you..."
Marinette let out a heavy sigh of resignation.
That was it.
The punishment. The cancelled dates. Her room, until she was twenty-one.
"…but are you two careful?"
What?
"Because you know that it is important to protect yourself..."
WHAT?
"...although I hope you are responsible enough to—"
"WHAT?" yelled the two teenagers with magnificent synchronization.
No, no, no. Young heroes could hardly believe their ears. Marinette's parents did not think that...
"Listen", resumed her mother patiently, "I guess you don't want to have a child at your age, and I personally find myself a little too young to be a grandmother."
They did.
"No! N-No, that's not...", painfully stammered Adrien, flushing so quickly and so hard that the skin of his face seemed to have suddenly caught fire. "It doesn't...We don't...We don't have..."
"IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL!", Marinette screamed, her voice higher than ever under the combined effects of embarrassment and surprise.
In shock, the unfortunate teenage girl paused for a moment, as a burning shame painted her cheeks with a scarlet red even brighter than that of her partner. It would definitely be a miracle if she survived that day, as her body now seemed divided between killing her from a heart attack or instantly consuming itself of embarrassment.
"I-I don't... I never...", Adrien continued awkwardly, struggling to align two coherent words. "Marinette and I have not... I never wanted to... Not that you are not-", he corrected himself abruptly, throwing a distraught look at his girlfriend, who stared at him in amazement. "I mean, you're d-definitely the most beautiful and extraordinary girl I've ever met, but I... I... I..."
Groaning in shame, the teen buried his burning face in his hands.
"I'm really not ready for this kind of thing...", he whined in a plaintive voice.
"Neither do I!", Marinette immediately adds, without being able to prevent herself from flushing a little more when hearing Adrien describe her 'beautiful' and 'extraordinary'. "Really, really, REALLY not ready", she hammered with conviction, as her voice flew into high-pitched shrill again.
Tom and Sabine gazed at them for a moment. The two teenagers, red with embarrassment, settled on the sofa as if trying to disappear through the cushions. With a bit of luck, perhaps they would discover mysterious ways of going through the walls that would allow them to blend into the floor and escape quickly, quickly, very quickly.
And very far.
They didn't dare look up, staring at the floor with an almost unbearable intensity, as if the floor of the Dupain-Cheng's living room had suddenly become the worthiest thing of attention in the whole universe.
They had never been so embarrassed in their lives.
But unfortunately for them, the merciless parents of Marinette did not seem determined to end their painful torment.
"This 'kind of thing' can happen a lot faster than you think," Sabine said with extraordinary serenity under the circumstances. "You may not be ready now, but you are already spending nights in the same bed. "
"Yes, SLEEPING !" Marinette moaned. "Just. Sleeping. "
At her side, Adrien now took his head in both hands, curling up on himself as in a vain wish to disappear from the painful attention of Dupain-Cheng.
It was a real disaster.
He wanted to disappear underground, to flee the country forever, even to fly into space if possible. He wanted to take his brain out of its skull and wash it with bleach, in order to try to erase the least residue of this painful conversation and this embarrassing morning. From the severe education he had received, the distraught hero knew he should have been able to show more composure, but all the guardians in the world could never have prepared him for such a conversation.
Cruelly indifferent to the emotions that her words inspired to her young audience, Sabine resumed her speech with the tacit approval of her immense husband.
"Listen, you never know", she continued in a firm voice, "If one day you want to start having this kind of relationship ..."
" MOM !", Marinette immediately shouted, hoping to interrupt her at last.
"... you will have it, with or without our consent. So Tom and I think it's best for you to be prepared for any eventuality. "
Biting her lip violently, Marinette let out a groan of despair.
Her punishment.
That was her punishment.
Whether they were aware of it or not, beneath their understanding exterior, her parents gave her a slow, stinging humiliation that was far worse than any punishment she could have feared. She was going to die of shame, right here, right now.
Still seated beside her, Adrien hardly seemed to be in a better mood than she was. His gaze was strangely still, riveted straight ahead, and he seemed to be on the verge of a stroke.
"I think I'll make you an appointment with my gynecologist as soon as possible", Sabine suddenly told her daughter. "You may discuss with her about what contraception is best for you. "
Unable to formulate any coherent word, Marinette let out a strange strangled noise. Adrien, meanwhile, was shaken by such a sudden cough that he thought for a moment that he was going to end up dying of suffocation on this sofa.
Which, from his point of view, would certainly have been less cruel and painful than the slow torture that Marinette's far too accommodating parents put them through.
"I know that we often think instinctively of the pill", resumed Sabine, that the two teenagers were now staring with growing fear, "but don't take it badly, my dear, but you are so distracted and clumsy that I'm not sure that's the most appropriate for you. "
"I-I ... And I'm SURE I don't want to talk about this now!", Marinette retorted immediately, throwing distraught looks at her teammate.
Now pale as death, Adrien nodded vigorously in approval. This conversation had to stop.
Here.
Now.
Neither he nor Marinette were able to hear even one more word, it was obvious.
"Yes, yes, sweetheart", replied Sabine absent-mindedly, before embarking on a long and detailed presentation of the different options available to her daughter.
A few minutes later, Sabine Cheng's instructive presentation had plunged the proud and prestigious heroes of Paris in a state of distress and bewilderment that would certainly have made Hawkmoth jealous.
Struck with a strange torpor, Marinette looked straight ahead, not daring to turn her eyes to her parents or her teammate. Adrien, meanwhile, was now much more aware with female contraceptive methods than he would ever have wished to be.
Nervously drumming his fingers on his knee, Adrien swallowed hard. His heart was pounding feverishly in his chest, seeming to be either ready to explode in shame or about to run away, ripping the bars off his rib cage, only to die quietly in humiliation.
It couldn't be worse.
It really couldn't be worse.
It-
"Of course", suddenly intervened Tom, "There are condoms too. "
Never tell yourself that things couldn't be worse, the young hero noted mentally, in a superb effort to maintain some semblance of sanity.
"Ah, by the way, honey, can you pass me the shopping list?", Sabine said to Tom, ignoring the half-scared, half-scared look the two teenagers gave her. "I'll note to take a box. I'll leave it in your room", she told her daughter.
"W-We ... NO !", Marinette yelped, suddenly recovering the use of speech. "It's not worth it. Really NOT worth it ! Since we tell you t-that... that we don't... T-that we're not... "
"Yes, yes, I know," replied Sabine absent-mindedly, while quickly scribbling a few words on the paper her husband had just handed her. "But you might as well be careful. "
"Get me out of here," Adrien moaned with sincere despair, while Marinette buried her face in a pillow to stifle a loud scream.
When Marinette's parents let them go - a dozen long, painful and embarrassing minutes later - Adrien hastened to leave. Happy to have an opportunity to also escape the suffocating atmosphere of her living room, Marinette immediately offered to walk him home.
The two teenagers were now walking side by side through the streets of Paris, looking as dazed as if they had both taken a terrible blow to the head. They advanced with a mechanical step, their cheeks still red with stinging embarrassment. Contrary to their habits, they did not even dare to hold hands as the embarrassing speech of Dupain-Chengs still danced in their memories.
"I-I ... I don't know if I will dare to come back to your home one day", stammered Adrien, still shaken by this harsh morning.
"I don't know if I will dare either", moaned Marinette, feverishly passing her hand over her face. "It's ... It was ... I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life!", she concludes, flushing even more.
"Believe me, it's the same for me," replied Adrien with a nervous laugh.
A slight silence hung between the two teenagers, before Adrien spoke again.
"You ... If you prefer, for the next few times, we can meet at my place", he suggested with a pale smile.
Marinette gave him a sharp glance, before shaking her head from left to right.
"N-No, it's okay... I think it might be better to keep my room as a meeting place", she replied thoughtfully. "Well, if you don't mind," she resumed while smiling at him too.
"For you, I should be able to overcome this terrible trauma", replied Adrien with a mischievous grin. "But are you really sure that it's okay?"
"Y-Yes", Marinette stammered, embarrassment painting itself again on her still red face. "At least with my parents, the damage is done. "
As her partner raised a questioning eyebrow, she continued:
"Can you imagine if your father discovers us too? What if he also imposes THE talk on us? "
Adrien's eyes widened in horror at the thought of the illustrious Gabriel Agreste speaking about adolescent hormones and the benefits of contraception.
"T-You are right, my Lady", he approved in a blank voice. "Your place, it's perfect. "