I don't expect you to understand. Because I can't explain. I knew it was what I had to do. I knew it like I knew that I loved him. I knew it because I loved him.

He didn't return my feelings. He only saw me as a friend, maybe even a sister. And it hurt me, just like it would hurt any sane human being. But at that point in time, I couldn't bring myself to admit just how much it did. Instead I chose to ignore it. Just like I chose to ignore that I had fallen in love with him. Because hurt can destroy things. It can cloud your mind and manipulate your actions.

And at such a critical time, I simply refused to let it do that. Because despite what most people may believe, there are more important things than giving in to your own desires.

You don't like him anymore. You don't like him anymore. You don't like him anymore.

But I do. For Merlin's sake, I'm in love with him!

Oh honestly, do you really believe that?

Of course I do. Because if I wasn't...then I wouldn't be doing this.

Well how can you just stop being in love with someone?

This was precisely the question that plagued Hermione's every waking moment. How could she stop her feelings for Harry when anything he did set her heart aflutter? When he made her heat up and blush and fill her with excitement over the smallest, most insignificant things. How was she supposed to just stop reacting to his piercing green gaze and his intoxicating familiar scent and the way his arm and leg would brush against hers by accident?

How was she supposed to simply stop loving him?

"Hermione, how am I supposed to get over him?" Ginny asked, her eyes downcast as she stared out of the window miserably. "I like him so much, but he doesn't even know I exist..."

"Of course he does, Ginny! You're—"

"Ron's little sister and nothing more. He doesn't even consider me a friend. I mean, I don't really blame him...I can't even form a coherent sentence around him. God, he must think I'm so pathetic!" she exclaimed, burying her face in her hands.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. You just need to be yourself. He doesn't know the real you, Ginny! He doesn't know what an amazing personality you have. You need to show him."

"But how can I? I'm always so nervous around him," Ginny said, finally looking up.

Hermione sighed deeply. "Maybe...maybe you should try seeing other people. Take a break from Harry for a while. Focus on someone else. I know it's probably not going to be as easy as it sounds, but I'm sure there's someone in this school who'll catch your eye. Someone who could get your mind off Harry. And hey, maybe he'll even start to get jealous when he sees you with another guy and realize what he's been missing all along," Hermione finished with a mischievous smirk.

Ginny gave a humourless laugh. "Yeah I don't know about that, but...maybe you're right. Maybe I should just...see other people," she said in a glum sort of voice.

Hermione gave her a kind smile. "You won't regret this."

"Merlin..." Hermione proclaimed breathlessly as the memory replayed vividly in her mind.

Without another second's thought, she rushed out of the dormitory and down the stairs where she quickly spotted Ginny and Dean sitting in a secluded corner of the common room. Dean whispered something into Ginny's ear, causing her to giggle, an action which made Hermione roll her eyes despite herself.

"Ginny, can we talk?" Hermione asked as she planted herself directly in front of the affectionate couple.

"Er...sure," the red head replied uncertainly, taken aback by Hermione's sudden appearance.

There was a moment of silence as both girls stared at Dean who appeared quite oblivious to the situation at hand.

"What?" he asked finally, in somewhat of a defensive tone.

Ginny scoffed loudly. "You heard the woman," she stated. "Leave!"

Dean simply looked confused, but did as he was told, throwing them a bewildered look behind him.

"Men..." Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "So, what's the problem?"

"Who said there was a problem?" Hermione replied quickly, choosing not to look into Ginny's eyes. "Maybe I just want to talk…"

"Hermione, if you interrupted a potential snog session with my boyfriend just to 'talk', then—"

"All right, fine. I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away," Ginny said with a somewhat bored expression.

"Okay…well…erm…the thing is—"

"Bloody hell, Hermione, just spit it out."

Hermione swallowed slowly, doing her best to maintain her composure. "Well, this is going to seem like a very odd question, but...I'm just curious."

"Continue," Ginny said, still appearing bored.

"How did you get over Harry?"

Instantly, Ginny's face flushed a deep crimson colour. "Sorry?"

"Well...you fancied him for quite a while, didn't you? And I know I gave you that advice about seeing other people, but I was just wondering if that was what actually did it."

"Why are you asking me this?" Ginny said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

It was Hermione's turn to blush as she tried searching for some reasonable answer. "I-I told you...I was just curious..."

"You've never been curious before," Ginny said, staring suspiciously back at her.

"Can you just answer the question?" Hermione demanded.

Ginny continued staring at her for a moment until she finally let out a long breath she seemed to have been holding. "I never did," she said in a small voice.

Hermione immediately felt an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of her stomach. "What?" she answered breathlessly.

"I never did get over him," Ginny said, staring fixedly at a spot on the carpet.

"But...Michael...and...and Dean! What about Dean? I thought you really liked him!"

"I did! I do," Ginny quickly amended. She then sighed, closing her eyes. "Look, I fancy Dean a lot. But...he's just not the person I picture in my mind when I think about...well...having a family someday."

"And Harry is?"

Ginny's face turned a shocking beet red. "That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant."

"No...I..." Ginny faltered. "I don't even know what I meant, Hermione. He's...he's important to me, okay? He's a part of me that I can't get rid of. A part I don't want to get rid of."

"So...what do you plan on doing? Are you just going to ignore this forever?"

Ginny audibly gulped, an action that might have been somewhat humorous on a different occasion, but instead just made Hermione more uneasy.

"You told me once that Harry wasn't ready. You said he wasn't mature enough. So, I said I would wait." Ginny stared straight into Hermione's eyes. "I'm still waiting."

Hermione wasn't sure what to think or how to feel. She'd been stupid to believe that Ginny had simply forgotten about Harry. There were so many moments where it had been practically obvious that she had not. Yet somehow, Hermione hadn't noticed.

And as she sat down across the lake on that cold afternoon, she realized that a part of her had chosen not to notice. Or rather, to simply ignore it.

She was quite good at ignoring things, it appeared.

But what did this all mean? So what if Ginny still fancied Harry? It's not as if she should care. After all, she was supposed to be getting over him...

Yet, why did her heart suddenly feel as if it were squeezing itself into painful knots? Why did she feel sick to her stomach? Why was her pulse pounding loudly in her ears?

You know why.

Hermione closed her eyes, taking in long deep breaths.

Because he fancies her back.

And just like that, tears were falling rapidly down her cheeks. She felt hollow. Hollow and cold.

She saw brief images flash before her eyes. Images of Harry stuttering and fumbling and blushing. Images of him smiling unusual radiant smiles. Images of him doing strange, awkward, stupid things because he was Harry and because he fancied Ginny.

"God, I am so pathetic..." Hermione whispered furiously to herself.

As she sat there, with her head against a tree, looking up with tears in her eyes, all she could do was wonder why. Why was it that she didn't know? Why was it that everything seemed to be sneaking up on her these days? Not too long ago, she could read people like she could read an open book. Yet now, everything was so unclear. It was like...she'd been in an entirely different world and was just now coming back.

It was the same story again and again. It was the same pile of books stacked beneath her bed. The same sleepless night. The same worry and fear.

It was consuming her. It was taking over her entire life.

But what could she do? She'd been this way for as long as she could remember. Drowning herself in her studies. Giving all her energy to the task at hand.

She was obsessed.

And of course, adding on the fact that she was quite probably in love with Harry. While Harry couldn't care less about her...

It was too much.

It was all too much.

She couldn't take it.

She couldn't...

"Hermione?"

Her head instantly whipped around at the sound of her name.

"What the bloody hell are you sitting out here in the cold for?"

Quickly wiping away the tears from her eyes, Hermione looked up in surprise at Ron. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," he said, gesturing towards her position by the tree.

It was then that Hermione noticed the broom in his hand. "You were practicing?" she asked, quickly grasping on to the subject change.

"A bit," Ron replied looking somewhat bashful.

Hermione smiled at him. "That's nothing to be ashamed of, Ron."

"It will be when I let every goal in this Saturday," he said, not looking at her.

She sighed, genuinely feeling bad for him. "You want to sit down?" she offered, deciding she could use the company.

"What, and freeze my arse off? No thank you."

And just like that all sympathy was lost.

"You know, it may come as a surprise, but they have invented heating charms," Hermione replied, scowling at him.

Ron rolled his eyes but sat down nonetheless.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, both content to simply stare out at the lake, lost in their own individual thoughts.

"You don't have to be afraid you know," Hermione said quietly after some time.

"Of what?"

"Of the match," she said, turning to look at him.

She could see annoyance flash across Ron's features.

"Look, I know you think it's just some stupid game but—"

"No, that's not what I meant," Hermione calmly replied.

"So, what then?" he asked, somewhat forcefully.

"You're good, Ron. You're really good. I've seen you play when you're just having fun. When there aren't a thousand pairs of eyes on you. I know you love it. For Merlin's sake, you could spend hours talking about Quidditch. It makes you happy. But for some reason when you're up there in front of everyone, when the situation becomes more...serious, it's almost as if you begin to hate it. Because there's just too much pressure, too many things that could go wrong. You just want to quit..."

Ron stared at her intently throughout her entire proclamation, his forehead creased in deep thought. "So, what are you saying?" he asked quietly.

"Honestly...I'm not even sure," Hermione replied with a dry chuckle. "Just...just try as hard as you can to ignore the pressure. I know that's almost impossible. Believe me, I know. But maybe instead of focusing on that, focus on how much you love doing what you do."

Another moment of silence fell upon them. Then:

"You really think I'm that good?" Ron asked.

There was an earnest, almost hopeful look in his eyes that made Hermione's heart soften. "Of course, Ron," she said with conviction. "Hasn't Harry told you that a thousand times already?"

"Well yeah, but...you never have," he stated, not looking her in the eyes.

"I haven't?" she asked, confused.

"No, not really..."

"Oh...well, I'm sorry...But why should that matter, anyway?" she said, pushing the thought aside.

"Because it does. I dunno, it's just...different...coming from you," he stated, finally bringing his eyes up to meet hers.

She'd never quite noticed how blue they were until this moment. Perhaps because they seemed so unfamiliar to her. It was like she was staring into someone else's eyes. It was still Ron, but something about him was just different.

And it wasn't really all that bad of a difference...

"...Maybe you should try seeing other people. Take a break from Harry for a while. Focus on someone else..."

Focus on someone else...

Focus on someone else?

Yes...

No!

Maybe..?

You're out of your mind.

"I-I've got to go," Hermione said abruptly, getting up swiftly from her spot on the ground and leaving Ron oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong.

Once she made it into the castle, she practically ran through the corridors (blatantly ignoring the no-running-in-the-corridor rule) until she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady who she nearly screamed the password at, and continued up to her dormitory where she threw herself onto her bed quite unceremoniously.

"I've lost it, I've completely lost it," she whispered to herself as she fisted her hands in her wild mess of hair.

No, no! Absolutely not. Ronald Weasley is the last person I should be looking to as a distraction. It's not as if I should be looking for a distraction, anyway! Isn't that wrong, morally? Should I really be stringing guys along like that?

Wasn't that the exact advice you gave Ginny?

I did not advise Ginny to string guys along! I suggested she try to get to know someone. See if she fancies them. Give it a try. That's all!

So aren't you doing the same thing, then?

I am not doing anything, thank you very much.

Well...would it hurt?

Why would I possibly want to enter a relationship right now!? My life is complicated enough as it is!

Then how exactly do you plan on getting over Harry?

Hermione closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands.

"I don't know. I just don't know..."

There was one thing Hermione had been certain of from that afternoon by the lake. She and Ron had shared a real moment unlike any they had ever experienced. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she had not, in fact, seen a different person behind his eyes that day. Rather, she saw the real person behind his eyes. Something about the look he had given her was just so...honest.

Therefore, she was at a complete and utter loss. In the span of just one day, it seemed like everything had disappeared and become some figment of her imagination.

He was cold. He was distant. He was everything but the person she had seen that afternoon. And for the life of her, she could not understand why.

It drove her to such a point that for the rest of that week, it was all she could think about. Again and again, she replayed their conversation in her head. Searching for something, anything that may have upset him.

But there was nothing.

So why was he acting as if he hated her? It simply did not make sense.

"Ughhh!"

Hermione looked up from her spot at the table to find Ginny slumped down in the chair in front of her. "What's wrong?" she asked, surprised.

The girl sighed, rubbing her temples as if she was suffering from an extreme headache. "I just don't understand..."

Hermione waited for an explanation, but none come. "What is it you don't understand?"

"Your bloody friends! My brother, Harry!" she exclaimed. "How in the world do you manage to put up with those two? I would have given up ages ago!"

"Ginny...what are on about?" Hermione asked utterly confused.

The red head sighed again. "Okay, the other day after practice, Dean and I thought it would be...nice...to unwind a bit, you know? So, we found this very deserted corridor to do just that. Then, surprise! Ron and Harry walk in as Dean and I are getting quite heated."

Hermione immediately grimaced at the thought.

"Then, my prat of a brother starts going off about how he doesn't want me snogging people in public. The nerve!"

"Then what happened?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

"Well, we said a few nasty things to each other, I stormed off, and now we're not talking," she replied, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest. "I mean, just because he's never snogged anything but his pillow, doesn't mean he has to go around controlling my life. God, he is so infuriating!"

"Well, what about Harry, what's he done?" Hermione asked, able to guess the answer already.

Ginny let out a noise that sounded somewhat like hiss. "Oh, don't even get me started on him!" she said. "Ever since the whole run-in, he's been completely avoiding me! He won't even look at me. It's like he's disgusted or something, I don't even know. Maybe he thinks I'm some sort of slag, as well."

"Ginny!" Hermione exclaimed. "Don't call yourself that!"

"Whatever," Ginny said, "I can't stand the pair of them at the moment."

"This will all blow over, I promise. Just focus on your game tomorrow, and let's hope Ronald doesn't let his emotions get in the way of his performance," Hermione said, practically spitting out Ron's name.

The morning of the match, Hermione headed down to breakfast somewhat later than usual as she had been doing for the past couple of days. She'd simply grown tired of Ron's unpleasant behaviour, and preferred to interact with him as little as possible. Nevertheless, she paused on her way up the table that morning, standing behind Ron.

"How are you both feeling?" she asked, her eyes on the back of Ron's head.

"Fine," Harry replied.

Hermione looked at him. He seemed to be concentrating on something.

"There you go, Ron. Drink up," he said, handing Ron a glass of pumpkin juice.

She continued staring curiously at Harry. And that was when she saw it. If she had blinked she might have missed the glint off the small flask of Felix Felicis that Harry had surreptitiously hid in his hand.

No...he couldn't...he wouldn't!

Ron had just raised the glass of pumpkin juice to his lips when Hermione spoke sharply. "Don't drink that, Ron!"

Both Harry and Ron looked up at her.

"Why not?" said Ron.

Hermione ignored the harshness in Ron's tone, and instead turned to Harry. "You just put something in his drink."

"Excuse me?" said Harry.

Hermione really wanted nothing more at the moment than to smack Harry hard. "You heard me. I saw you. You just tipped something into Ron's drink. You've got the bottle in your hand right now!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Harry, stowing the little bottle hastily in his pocket.

"Ron, I warn you, don't drink it!" Hermione said again, alarmed.

But Ron picked up the glass, drained it in one gulp, and said, "Stop bossing me around, Hermione."

Looking at the pair of them, she felt as if she'd been slapped across the face. Bending low so that only Harry could hear her, she hissed, "You should be expelled for that. I'd never have believed it of you, Harry!"

"Hark who's talking," he whispered back. "Confunded anyone lately?"

With tears of frustration threatening to spill from her eyes, she stormed up the table as far away from them as possible.

She didn't even want to watch the match anymore, but she decided it was the only way to confirm her suspicions.

As the players flew up to their positions in the sky, she looked over at Ron. For just the briefest of moments, she just knew he was looking straight into her eyes. Even from a distance, she could see something that had been missing for the past couple of days. She could see her best friend.

But just like that, he was gone.

Not surprisingly, Gryffindor had won the match. And even less surprisingly, Ron had played an absolutely fantastic game. But while other people were cheering madly, Hermione only felt disappointed.

She stood outside the changing rooms, waiting for Harry and Ron to exit. However, when it seemed like they were the only two left, she made her way inside.

Twisting her Gryffindor scarf in her hands, she looked at them with a determined face. "I want a word with you, Harry." She took a deep breath. "You shouldn't have done it. You heard Slughorn, it's illegal."

"What are you going to do, turn us in?" demanded Ron.

"What are you two talking about?" asked Harry.

"You know perfectly well what we're talking about!" said Hermione shrilly. "You spiked Ron's juice with lucky potion at breakfast! Felix Felicis!"

"No, I didn't," said Harry, turning to face them both.

Hermione could feel herself start to heat up with anger. "Yes you did, Harry, and that's why everything went right, there were Slytherin payers missing and Ron saved everything!"

"I didn't put it in!" said Harry, grinning broadly.

Hermione watched as he slipped his hand inside his jacket pocket and drew out the tiny bottle that she had seen in his hand that morning. It was full of golden potion and the cork was still tightly sealed with wax.

"I wanted Ron to think I'd done it, so I faked it when I knew you were looking." He looked at Ron. "You saved everything because you felt lucky. You did it all yourself."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. She looked at Ron in awe, ready to congratulate him, to tell him she'd known all along he could do it.

Then all of a sudden, he rounded on her, imitating her voice. "You added Felix Felicis to Ron's juice this morning, that's why he saved everything! See! I can save goals without help, Hermione!"

For the second time that day, she felt as if someone had slapped her across the face. "I never said you couldn't—Ron, you thought you'd been given it too!"

But Ron had already strode past her out of the door with his broomstick over his shoulder, leaving Hermione at a complete loss for words.

She stormed out of the changing room, leaving Harry behind. But right now, she didn't care. She didn't care about anyone. She was too tired of caring.

Entering through the portrait hole, she was immediately hit by a wall of noise. The celebration party was in full swing. She tried her best make her way to the spiral staircase that led up to the girl's dormitories, but it felt as if she was attempting to break through a brick wall. So, instead, she settled for a secluded corner of the common room where she hoped no one would see her.

She was just so angry. Why was it that everyone she cared about treated her like dirt? What had she ever done wrong? All she ever wanted to do was help. That's all she ever wanted!

Last year, it was Harry treating her this way. Always blowing up in her face, yelling, screaming. This year it was Ron. What did she do to deserve this? What did she do?

Like an idiot she'd gone and fallen in love with Harry. And like a bigger idiot she thought she could get over him. But like a complete and utter fool, she thought that Ron could help her.

The way he had looked at her...no one, no one, had ever looked at her like that. And for just one moment, for one maddening, heart-stopping moment, she could have sworn she saw love in his eyes.

But she was so stupid...

Suddenly, it seemed as if the entire common room was cheering. She looked around confused, but then she saw it. Right there in the middle of the room was none other than Ron and Lavender, wrapped so closely together it was hard to tell whose hands were whose.

She looked at them. She felt nothing. In fact, she was absolutely numb.

And somehow, like they always did, her eyes found Harry. He was standing next to Ginny, who was telling him something. Something that made him laugh. And Hermione watched as she patted his arm. She watched as his face flushed the lightest of reds.

And she was no longer numb.

Now all she felt was that squeezing sensation around her heart. The nausea inside her stomach. The pain in her chest.

All she felt was hurt.

And she couldn't take it anymore; the common room was just too suffocating. She needed to breathe. Fighting her way through the brick wall of people, she ran towards the portrait hole as fast as she possibly could with tears streaming down her face, and opened the first classroom door she could find.

She took a seat on top of the teacher's desk, pulling her legs close to her body as she rested her head on her knees.

She felt a power surging through her, a raw source of energy that she just needed to be let out. And without even thinking, she pulled out her wand and cried out: "Oppugno!"

A small ring of yellow birds flew straight out of her wand and began circling over her head.

"Hermione?"

She looked up at the door surprised.

Harry.

She shifted her gaze elsewhere, afraid he would see her tears. "Hello, Harry," she said in a brittle voice. "I was just...practicing."

"Yeah...they're—er—really good..." said Harry.

The two were silent for a moment. She realized she couldn't just explain to him why she was crying. It wasn't as if she could just proclaim her love for him in this empty classroom and then call it a day.

She wondered briefly why he even followed her out of the common room. Did he notice her crying? Did he wonder what was wrong? Did he have any idea in the world why she was so upset at the moment?

No, he couldn't possibly.

She decided to pretend like there was nothing wrong. After all, she was good at pretending, wasn't she? "Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations."

"Er...does he?" said Harry.

Hermione looked at him strangely. He had obviously seen Ron...everyone had seen Ron. So why was he pretending that he hadn't? "He wasn't exactly hiding it, was—?"

The door behind them burst open then to reveal Ron, laughing, pulling Lavender by the hand.

"Oh," Ron said, drawing up short at the sight of Harry and Hermione.

"Oops!" said Lavender, and she backed out of the room, giggling. The door swung shut behind her.

As Ron looked at Hermione, she saw once again, a sort of hatred in his eyes. But she simply stared back at him. Whatever his problem was with her, she refused to show him that she cared.

"You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside," she said quietly. "She'll wonder where you've gone."

Despite her external resoluteness, however, her enchanted birds seemed to sense the anger inside her. Anger over the cold and heartless ways he'd been treating her. After she'd tried her best to make him feel better. At a time when she felt so very low, herself.

It was worthless. Everything was worthless. The enchanted yellow birds attacking Ron and making him flee the room was worthless. The look of concern in Harry's eyes as he sat down next to her on the floor, placing her head on his shoulder as tears streamed down her face, was completely and utterly worthless.

Yet she continued to cry. She cried for a lot of things. She cried for Ron, she cried for the war, she cried for her parents, she cried for Dumbledore and the horcruxes and the prophecy, but most of all, she cried for Harry.

She cried for the way he made her feel. With her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her and his scent filling her nostrils, making her heart beat quicken dangerously. How it felt like absolute heaven to be in his arms. To be comforted by him. To feel so incredibly safe and warm and relaxed. And happy.

She cried for the way he made her feel so happy.

As her sobs slowly subsided, and her shallow breaths turned into deep breathing, she finally looked up at him. She hadn't been this close to him for as long as she could remember. She could see every detail of his face so clearly. And as her eyes met his, her heart seemed to melt with the power of his green gaze.

How she adored the colour green...

Slowly, beyond her conscious control, her eyes travelled downwards towards his lips. She wondered madly whether they felt as soft as they looked. Because they looked so incredibly soft...

Butterflies continued to erupt inside her stomach, to the point where it was almost painful. To the point where she desperately needed to satisfy them.

And she knew how. She knew exactly how to do just that.

She needed to taste him. Just once. Just once.

She needed to run her fingers through his silky soft hair.

She needed to snog him in a dark broom closet.

She was feeling things she'd never felt before. Things that scared her and excited her at the same time. Things that she needed.

But as she looked back into his emerald green eyes one last time, she realized with heart breaking certainty that all of it, every single part of it, was completely and utterly worthless.

Because she saw no love reflecting back.

A/N: And by that I mean no romantic love...obviously since he does love her as a friend. But anyway...I'm so incrediby sorry that this took me forever and a day to post. But its extra long so I hope that makes up for it? Once again this is a pretty depressing chapter. But I can assure you that upcoming chapters won't all be as depressing as these last two have been. And overall, even though this story is a 'tragedy', there will always be light hearted comic relief moments because otherwise this would be suchhh a drag to read. Anyway, I really hope you like it! I know some of you may possibly hate parts of it...and I apologize for that, but...I have to do what I have to do. It hurts me just as much as you, trust me. I would love some feedback as always! Thank you so much for reading :)