John Phoenix was posting reviews on fanfiction dot net under the name "Turnabout Phoenix." You may think that's normal but what isn't normal is that he was posting them as stories instead of reviews.
I, being the man of good faith that I am, pointed out to the incompetent brat that he was posting them as stories instead of reviews in hope that he might stop this but he just told me "they are not non-stories they are stories, they are stories because there is dialogue and narration in them and it ends with "the end" so it's a story not a non-story."
I said "Objection! Some reviews can be written that way too!"
It has been ten hours since I objected with this argument and John Phoenix has not disproven this. I am Enemy of John Phoenix, the enemy of John Phoenix, and I am successful in this argument! And after I was done being successful, I threw John Phoenix into a coffin and buried him alive, then waited for him to be dead. I then filled the hole in and left without leaving a grave so that John Phoenix would be forgotten forever, as he was always meant to be.