Chapter 17: Like Her

Rose stirred first.

She couldn't say the time. The room was so dimly lit, even in the daytime. Rose had not noticed last night, but there was a window in Severus's bedroom. Except the light admitting from it was a ghostly green. They were under the lake.

Rose hoped that no one or thing was swimming by last night.

She carefully turned to look at Severus. He was fast asleep. Rose had seen Severus sleep countless times but never like this. He looked peaceful. His brows were not furrowed, and his lips were relaxed, not distorted into a frown.

Rose wanted to kiss his lips but refrained. She couldn't bear to wake him from his restful sleep.

Perhaps it was the sex.

Who knew, that all Severus Snape needed was to get laid.

Rose sat up in bed and let her bare legs hang over the side. The back of her right calf rubbed against something with a pointed edge. Rose bent down. There was something tucked under the mattress.

Rose briefly checked over her shoulder to make sure that Severus was still asleep before reaching down.

Rose looked at the photograph first. It was old, crinkled, and only half there. It was of a beautiful redhaired woman. She was laughing at something; she was so happy. It was a magical picture. It was moving, making Rose feel like Lily Potter's ghost was closing in on her.

This was a personal, unique space Rose had shared with Severus and somehow Lily had found her way into it.

There was also an end to a letter, which held no significant meaning to Rose, but it did hold Lily's love.

As Rose stared down at the artifacts, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. 'Let him go,' she thought as she looked at Lily Potter's lovely face.

Suddenly the picture and the letter were ripped from Rose's hands, so fast that the paper sliced her palms. Droplets of blood dripped down her wrists.

Rose turned towards Severus slowly, afraid to see what she had done.

Severus's eyes seemed to burn red. His face was hard and stony.

"I'm sorry," Rose pleaded at once. "I…" she didn't know what to say. Clearly these treasures were not for her to find, but now that she saw them, she could never not see what she saw. Rose could now never forget that her first, and probably her last, time sleeping with Severus was done so atop a perfect memory that Rose could never compete with.

The tears that threatened to come, now rolled down her cheeks and she began to sob quietly.

Taken aback by this reaction, Severus's face softened slightly. He carefully placed Lily's photograph and letter face down on the bedside table. He then picked up his wand.

"Give me your hands," he said. His voice was cold and rough.

Rose looked at her hands. She hadn't even noticed that she was bleeding.

Rose narrowed her red rimmed eyes at Severus, although the effect was diminished.

"Don't be difficult," Severus told her, reaching out.

Without planning to, Rose placed her hands, palm up, for Severus to heal. As soon as Severus grabbed onto her by the wrist, Rose's tears stopped. As their flesh met, Rose seemed to be feeling something beyond physical sadness.

Severus ran his wand over her cuts. Rose snatched her hands away the moment he was done. She dried her eyes quickly.

"You shouldn't have been going through my belongings," Severus said darkly, but with less anger in his tone than before.

"Those," Rose gestured to the side table, "were poorly hidden," she snapped. "But yeah, I should've minded my own business."

"You should have," Severus confirmed firmly.

Something crossed over Rose's mind, making her feel nauseated. "Were you thinking of her last night when you were with me?"

Severus looked at Rose scandalized. "Of course not," he returned bitterly. Then he thought for a moment. "Were you thinking about Tiberius?"

"No," Rose replied, hating herself for it. Would Tiberius have forgotten her so easily? Severus certainly had not let go of his lost love.

Was Rose just some horrible, heartless monster. She loved Tiberius with everything she was, but now he was not the only man who filled her thoughts and her heart.

Rose let her shoulders fall; she felt so defeated. "Severus," she began in a dead tone, "What is your patronus?"

Severus's lips formed a fine line. He seemed as if he was considering not answering her question. "A doe," he finally replied.

Rose nodded, unsurprised. "And what was Lily's?" she asked.

Severus's silence was a clear enough answer for Rose.

She turned away from him and put her face in her hands. She thought about how she believed that she could never love another man after Tiberius died. She thought her heart was so broken that it would eventually stop beating. She had been wrong and now she had nothing to lose.

"Do you think," Rose began, sitting up straighter, summoning all the courage she could muster, "that maybe you could care for me as well?"

"Rose," Severus warned.

Rose turned around to look at Severus. He was looking off to the side, refusing to meet her eyes.

"At least tell me about her."

Severus froze. He felt like he was walking into a trap.

"I'm not trying to trick you," Rose said, reading his expression. "It's just, every time I picture her, I imagine this flawless, beautiful creature and I can barely believe she existed." Rose blinked quickly as she felt tears welling up in her eyes again. "She must have been an incredible woman to have you love her so deeply."

Severus took in a sharp breath and moved his gaze to Rose. Severus's expression was unbelievably sad, like he had never smiled a day in his life. "She 'was' an incredible woman," Severus confided in Rose. "She was beautiful, smart, funny without being cruel, and she was unfathomably kind. She could always find the good in others, even when they couldn't find it in themselves."

Rose nodded several times, processing what she was being told, every word was like a punch to the stomach. "Like I said, incredible." Rose tried to sound nonchalant.

"You remind me of her," Severus whispered.

The surrounding air was suddenly churned thick.

The moment the words left his mouth, Severus instantly regretted them. He could see from Rose's face that he had said the wrong thing.

Her face fell. "I don't think I could ever compete with her memory," she mumbled. "You must know, Severus, how I feel about you."

Severus shook his head slightly. "If it wasn't for your patronus," he paused, searching for the words. "I never would have guessed that you could possibly…" he trailed off.

"That I could love you," Rose finished, her voice strong.

Severus's heart began to pound painfully against his ribcage. "Rose," he hissed. He leaned towards her slightly, yet there was still about a foot between them. "You don't have to compete."

"What are you saying?" Rose whispered.

Severus reached out to her and, before he could change his mind, he took both Rose's hands in his. "I like how you are similar to her," he uttered, hardly moving his lips, "And I love you for the ways that you are different."

Rose held her breath, unable to process the words she was hearing. "You love me?" Rose gasped.

An expression that held both desperation and elation washed over Severus's face. "Yes," he answered her softly. His eyes flit to Lily's photograph and letter on the bedside table. "I think I will love Lily until the day I die," Severus told Rose because she needed to know.

"I know," Rose assured him. She felt the same way about Tiberius.

"She was never mine," Severus admitted, his tone a mixture of bitterness and clarity. "But you, Rose…" his eyes bore into hers.

"I'm yours, Severus," Rose said gently.

"Get over here," Severus hissed, pulling her by the arms. Rose let herself fall into him. He kissed her, passionately and without hesitation. She was his.

After several minutes, hours, or days, they had to come up for air. Rose immediately moved in for another kiss, but Severus pulled away. His playful mood darkened. He sat up, his back against the headboard. Rose continued to lean into him. She climbed into his lap, so she was straddling him. She pressed her forehead against his; his black hair curtained their faces.

"I am going to disappoint you a thousand times over," Severus whispered to Rose. "I have no idea how or where to begin."

Rose ran her fingers through his hair. "Neither do I," she admitted. "I have no idea how to be in a normal relationship with no hiding or fear."

Severus raised his brows at her. "I'm over 10 years older than you and I was a deatheater," he said. "This is not going to be a normal relationship."

Rose rolled her eyes. "At least it won't be boring."

"And moving forward from this point?" Severus asked.

"We could do couple things," Rose suggested with a shrug. "Like go to movies and cafes and hold hands on park benches and stuff."

"Well thought out," Severus said sarcastically.

Rose laughed. "We will just have to wing it."

Severus pulled Rose into him and held her against his chest. His heart was beating fast. "We have to be extremely careful," he told her. "I will not allow a repeat of what happened in Diagon Alley." He pressed his palm against her cheek, shielding her from the potential threats buzzing around in his imagination. "Perhaps it would be best if-"

"I am going to stop you right there," Rose said, straightening up. "If you were going to say, it would be best if we kept our relationship a secret, I swear I will jinx you."

"Rose," Severus said slowly. "Be realistic. Many people are going to have a problem with this whole situation."

"So, we are a situation now," Rose said with an eye roll. "My answer is no, Severus. I refuse to hide another relationship. Plus, a ballroom full of people already saw us kissing." Severus scowled. "The secrecy train has already left the station."

Rose could see Severus working something out. He took hold of her again, hugging her tightly to him. "I refuse to live this life without you."

Rose could hear her heart pounding in her ear. "You won't have to," she told him steadily.

"You mustn't…"

"I mustn't what," Rose said into his shoulder.

"You mustn't do anything stupid," Severus said.

Rose let out an errant nose. "I will do my best."

"I do love you," Severus breathed in her ear.

"I love you, too, Severus," Rose grinned.

Severus could hardly believe that this was happening to him. "I know I am not always the easiest person to deal with," he said.

Rose laughed and kissed his cheek. Rose sat up straighter in Severus's lap. She brushed his long hair away from his face. Severus briefly closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. "So, we are actually doing this?"

"It would seem so," Severus said.

"We will figure it out," Rose said.

"We are both intelligent people," Severus said.

"Plus, we love each other," Rose added.

Severus cupped her chin in his hand. "Yes," he said to her seriously. "We do."

XXX

READERS,

So, this is the official UNOFFICIAL ending. They are together now, but I want to know how Severus Snape will be in a romantic relationship. I think the following chapters will be little linear one-shots. Please review and tell me your thoughts. ALSO, I am taking suggestions on situations you would like me to write about with Severus and Rose as a couple.

Thank you so much for reading!

Sincerely,

Thora Jane