Chapter 18: Sharing

Rose's brown eyes bore into his. Severus swallowed hard and his blood began to boil. He clenched his fists, his finger nails digging into his palm. Now that he knew what it was like to make love to a woman, to her, Severus craved more. This new need made him feel weak, which he both hated and relished.

"Do you want to start by coming to my flat tonight?" Rose asked. She wanted to cringe at how shy she sounded. "I could make you dinner."

A smug look formed of Severus's face. "You would cook for me?" he said.

Rose rolled her eyes. "What do you think I was doing when we were in the Shrieking Shack? Letting you starve?"

"It was all oatmeal and soup," Severus pointed out sarcastically. "Can you cook proper food?"

"Yes," Rose said with mock offense. "I will cook dinner and if you're lucky, I will cook you breakfast in the morning," she said playfully.

Severus's heart began to race in anticipation. She suddenly had so much power over him. He wondered if he held similar power over her, probably not.

"On the topic of food," Severus said quickly changing the subject. "Are you hungry?"

Rose tilted her head to one side as if she had to think about it for a moment. "Actually, I am," she told him. Her mind had been so far away from a hunger for food.

"If you'll get off me," Severus told her, "I will get us something from the kitchens."

Rose laughed at him. "Do you really want me to get off your lap, Severus?" she teased him, running her hand up his thigh, slowly inching between his legs.

Severus caught her wrist. "I can't very well get up with you clinging to me," he said a little roughly.

Rose shook her head at him and climbed off. She covered her bare legs with the sheets and watched as Severus stood up, wearing only his briefs.

Severus threw a quick glance back at Rose, feeling her eyes crawling on him. His shoulders tensed. He kept his back to her and dressed quickly. He left the room without another word.

Rose wondered what was possibly running through his mind. She wondered if he would ever stop being so guarded around her. Hadn't she made it clear how she felt about him? Didn't he know that he was completely safe with her?

Severus took quick strides to the kitchens, trying his best to avoid other. He knew that some of the guests were invited to stay in the castle after the ball. He passed the Hufflepuff common room without incident. Severus tickled the painting of the pear and it swung open, letting him into the kitchen.

There the found himself standing in front of Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom.

The boys turned around simultaneously as they heard the kitchen entrance open.

Severus stared back at the boys, daring them to say a word about him kissing Rose last night or the circumstance of their meeting this morning. House-elves ran around loading up three trays with breakfast foods. It seemed fairly obvious that Ginny, Hermione, and Hannah were waiting back in Gryffindor tower, similarly to how Rose was waiting for Severus.

"Morning, Professor," Harry said at the ground.

Severus nodded curtly at the boys and then walked over to a house-elf, trying to speak quietly so that his students did not hear him asking for two of everything.

After several long awkward minutes. Harry, Ron, and Neville were taking quick strides out of the kitchen.

Once safely in the hall, they all stared at each other with wide eyes.

"You don't think," Neville said to the others.

"I really don't want to think about it, Neville" Harry replied uncomfortably, yet he felt shamefully curious about the whole situation. After all, he had just learned that Snape fancied his mum.

"We should see what Hermione thinks," Ron added.

"You know, Hermione can't know everything," Neville said, throwing a glance back at the kitchens.

The boys hurried back to the common room where the girls were waiting for them.

Severus collected the food from the house-elves and made his way back to Rose without meeting another soul.

When he returned to his bedroom carrying a tray, Rose knew immediately that something was wrong. He scowled down at the food as if it had personally insulted him.

"What has you all fired up?" Rose said.

Severus eyed her for a moment. "I'm fine," he hissed, setting the tray on the side table nearest her. Lily's letter and photograph still rested on his side.

Rose raised her brows at him. "You look really tense," she commented, "I thought we knocked that out of you last night."

Severus pressed his lips together, despite himself, he looked amused.

Rose patted the patch of bed next to her.

Severus rolled his eyes and took a seat on the edge of the mattress. Rose moved so that she was beside him.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well, what?" Severus avoided.

"Severus." Rose gave him a meaningful look.

He sighed. "I ran into Potter and his friends in the kitchens," he said as if this was supposed to mean anything to her.

"So?" Rose said with confusion.

"So," Severus said bitterly, "It looked a bit obvious, me getting two breakfasts to bring back to my bedroom."

Rose smirked. "Maybe they just thought you were really hungry."

Severus's scowl deepened.

"Why does it matter?" Rose pressed.

"I don't want people gossiping about us?" Severus snapped back.

Rose thought for a minute. "What could they be saying," she mused. "Did you see that girl in the red dress leave with Severus Snape. I bet he took her down to his dungeon and had his way with her."

"You know, you're ridiculous," he told her.

Rose laughed. "You know, you're paranoid."

Severus shook his head and then looked down at his hands. "People are going to think that I slipped you a love potion," he said miserably.

Rose felt a prang of grief at his words. She took his hand. "If it wasn't made obvious by last night," Rose told him, "let me just tell you, that I find you extremely sexy."

Severus felt himself get hot around the collar. He was still not looking at her.

"I believe you're blushing, Severus Snape." Rose grinned. She leaned in and kissed his neck, feeling the heat radiating off his skin.

"Of course not," Severus returned quickly, bringing his attention back to her.

Rose was smiling at him. She was giving him that look, like she thought he was the best thing in the world. Severus's eyes narrowed at her, not in anger but in speculation.

"What?" Rose asked, surveying him too.

"It's just the way you look at me," Severus said more to himself.

"And how do I look at you?"

"You look at me like you love me," he said skeptically.

"That is because I 'do' love," Rose told him firmly. "I thought we already established that." Rose chuckled slightly. She was just so happy, unbelievably so. She didn't think it was possible for her to feel like this again. "And sooner or later you are going to have to believe me."

"I just…" he paused trying to take everything in, "don't see…" Severus trailed off thoughtfully.

"You don't see what, Severus?" Rose asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"You don't see how I could love you?" Rose guessed bluntly.

Severus cringed at her words. "Well, it sounds insipid when you say it like that."

"It's not," Rose said, "However, it is a little sad." Rose scouted back and laid herself down again. The breakfast forgotten. "Come here."

Severus just looked back at her, not sure what it was she wanted him to do.

"Well, come on," Rose pushed.

Severus moved to lay beside her. He expected her to wrap herself around him like she had done before, but instead she pulled at his arm, indicating that he should move into her.

Hesitantly, Severus placed his head on Rose's chest, instantly lulled by the sound of her beating heart.

Rose began to stroke Severus's hair gently, lovingly.

This felt so bizarre, but so wonderful.

Severus caught hold of one of Rose's hands. He clung to her tightly as if trying to prevent this moment from ever leaving him.

"I love you for so many reasons," Rose whispered to Severus, "but most of all, I love you for your capacity to love."

Severus took in a slow breath. He still was not convinced this was happening to him.

"Severus, could you do something for me?" Rose asked

Severus tilted his face towards hers. "Anything," he said.

Rose believed him. She smiled lightly. She was not asking for much. "I want you to tell me more about yourself."

That was not what Severus was expecting 'anything' would be. "Don't you already know enough about me," Severus said drily, resting his head against her body once more.

Rose began playing with a lock of his hair between her fingers. "I feel like I know the important things about you," she said. "However, it's weird to be in love with a man and not even know his favorite color."

"I didn't realize that was a prerequisite," Severus retorted.

He felt Rose shrug beneath him.

"Green," he sighed. Rose felt his body tense.

She threw a glance over at the picture of Lily that was still face down on the side table. Rose visualized Lily's emerald eyes. Nothing could be easy with this man. "Yeah," Rose said at last, sparing them both an awkward silence. "Green is my favorite color too."

Severus sat up. "Are we through with this?" he asked.

"You only just told me one thing about yourself," Rose said, sitting up too. "I want to know everything."

"Believe me, you don't," Severus said roughly.

"Believe me, I do," Rose threw back.

Severus pressed his lips together and his brow furrowed. "What if I tell you things you don't like?"

"I'm sure there will be things that I won't like," Rose told him. "Don't forget, this is not my first time with a man who-"

"Yes, I haven't forgotten," Severus interjected coarsely.

Rose rested her head on his shoulder. Severus's body instantly relaxed. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in closer. "That way you look at me," he began in a barely audible whisper, "I don't think I could bear it if you ever stopped."

"I don't plan to," Rose assured him, taking his hand in hers.

"What exactly do you want to know?"

"I told you," Rose said, "everything."

Severus said nothing.

"What about your family?" Rose prompted.

"What about them?" Severus said coldly.

"Wow," Rose said, "you are really not going to make this easy."

"You need to be more specific."

"Clearly," Rose said with exasperation. "Where are your parents? Do you have any siblings?"

"My mother is dead, no idea where my father is, nor do I care to know, and no I don't," Severus answered quickly.

"Okay," Rose said. "Well, that told me very little."

Severus sighed.

"You told me once that you are not a pure-blood," Rose remarked. "Is one of your parents a no-mag?"

"My father," Severus confirmed.

"And your mother?" Rose pressed.

"Since when have you been so interested in blood status?" Severus asked sarcastically.

"You know, you could make this far less painful on both of us if you would just answer my questions properly and not give me ambiguous, half remarks."

"Fine," Severus said darkly. "My mother was named Eileen Prince. She was a pure-blood, who was disowned by her blood-supremacist family when she decided to marry Tobias Snape."

"That seems very brave of her," Rose commented.

Severus let out a humorless laugh. "My mother was anything but brave," he said coldly. "She was weak. She was the witch, yet she let the muggle have all the power over her."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked.

"I mean, Tobias Snape was a horrible excuse for a human being," Severus spat, "I never knew how my mother could have ever been in love with him. All I ever saw was an abusive, drunk, who enjoyed overpowering those weaker than him."

"Like his son?" Rose asked, staring wide-eyed ahead of her. She imagined a little, black-haired boy, scared, and unprotected. It made Rose want to cry.

"Yes," Severus agreed, "like his son."

"When you say abusive…"

"Do you want me to paint you a picture?" Severus said angrily.

Rose pulled away from him. His face was pained and furious at once.

His gaze slid over Rose's frightened face. She looked clearly bothered that she had upset him. "I'm sorry," he said roughly. He took both her hands in his, trying to show her that he was not angry with her. "My childhood," he explained, "was not…ideal. The only happy memories I have were those at Hogwarts or with-"

"Lily," Rose finished.

Severus slipped his hands away from her, leaving Rose feeling empty.

"When was the last time you saw your parents?" Rose asked hesitantly.

Severus cleared his throat. "I saw my mother last when I was 19," Severus told her. His tone was so matter-of-fact, Rose didn't know what to make of him.

"Was that before you became a deatheater?" Rose wondered.

"Yes," Severus said briefly. "She died shortly after that."

"How did she die?" Rose asked.

"You ask so many questions," Severus hissed at her.

"I have so many questions," Rose told him.

"My mother became ill," Severus continued. "She died at a muggle hospital."

"Were you there when she died?"

"No," Severus said in a hard tone.

"And your father?"

"Rose," Severus said. "That's enough for today."

Rose just nodded. She looked off to the side, unsure if she had made him vex with her. She wondered if Lily knew everything about Severus. She probably did. Rose knew she couldn't expect to catch up in one sitting. Severus had said that she didn't need to compete, yet Rose still feared that she was running a race and was inches behind, destined to take second place.

"I'm not angry with you," Severus told her, reading her expression.

"It's just-"

"I know," Severus assured her. "Rose, you have to understand that I'm not one for sharing anything about myself." He reached out to brush his long fingers lightly against her cheek. "I will try, for your sake. I will hate every moment of it," he said at an attempt at humor; Rose smiled slightly. "but I will try."

"I'll take it," Rose said.

"In return," Severus said, "you have to be patient with me."

"I can do that," Rose whispered.

Severus gave her a quick nod. "Now eat your food. I'm sure it's gone cold with all your jabbering."

Rose rolled her eyes at him. She grabbed two muffins off the tray and offered one to Severus.

The both began picking at the pastries

"Now I believe you owe," Severus told Rose.

"Owe you?"

"Tell me more about you."

"I don't have anything exciting to tell you," Rose remarked. Her love affair with Tiberius was probably the most intriguing story she had, but she wasn't about to tell Severus about that now, nor did she believe that that was what he wanted to hear.

"I'm not looking for exciting," Severus assured her.

"Okay," Rose said between bites. "One mundane childhood coming up." She began. "Well, I already told you that my parents are 'muggle' doctors. I am the middle of three children. We all have 'R' names." Rose rolled her eyes. "I have an older brother named Ryan. He's a lawyer and he is married to a woman named Maggie. They have twin girls, Olivia and Sarah. My nieces are probably two of my favorite people in the world and they are four." Rose grinned as she talked about her family, yet there was a sadness behind her eyes. She had told Severus once that she had not seen her family in over a year. He could tell that she missed them terribly. "My younger sister is Rachel; she is only a year younger than me. People sometimes think we're twins. She's still in school to become a history professor."

They continued like this for two hours. Severus asked Rose question after question. He learned that she collected rare plants, that her favorite novel was 'Jane Eyre,' and that her childhood pet was an imaginary dog named Walter. She told him about how her family first discovered she had magic. She was six and she'd accidently turned her brother purple when they had been arguing. It was at that point did a group of witches and wizards come to her house to explain to her and her family that she had a special gift.

Severus learned that Rose's parents were kind people, though, they had high expectations for their children. Rose spent a lot of her childhood busy learning. Her only friends in the muggle world were her siblings. She went to Ilvermorny, like most North American witches and wizards. She had a group of friends there, but she had lost touch with them after she moved to England, though, the distance had nothing to do with it.

Severus absorbed every drop of what she was telling him, living in her world that was so beautiful and pure.

"You have the upper hand yet again," Rose said.

"How so?"

"You know everything there is to know about me," Rose told him. "I still know hardly anything about you. Pretty soon you will have nothing else to ask me and you'll become bored."

Severus smirked at her, feeling oddly lighthearted by all her childhood tales. "Never," he said shaking his head slightly.

"Well you say that now," Rose teased as she stood from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked, his tone suddenly serious.

Rose picked up her dress from last night, it was left in a heap on the floor. "Home," Rose told him. "If I'm going to entertain you tonight, then I better clean up my flat. I don't want you to know that I'm a slob quite this early into our relationship."

Severus stood too, already fully dressed.

He watched as Rose pulled the t-shirt over her head. He began to breathe heavily.

Rose stepped into her dress.

Severus moved behind her. He carefully began to lacy up the back of her bodice. They both knew she could have just done it herself with magic, yet Severus needed an excuse to keep her there longer.

When Rose was dressed, Severus draped this cloak over her. Again, Rose was wrapped in Severus's warm, comforting smell.

They walked together up to the main floor and through the entrance. They only met a few ghosts along the way, but the spirits turned their transparent gazes, as they floated by, to see Severus Snape holding hands with a young woman. The paintings too, whispered as they passed. Pretty soon the whole castle would know that Professor Snape had shared his bed with the beautiful healer.

Severus walked Rose to the edge of the grounds, beyond the boundary of magic so that she could disapparate.

"Until tonight then," Rose said sweetly.

Severus nodded. He was not ready to let her out of his sight. "You will go straight home."

"Yes," Rose agreed.

"Alright," Severus said.

"Alright," Rose returned. Severus still had a firm grasp on her hand. Rose's eyes flit to their intertwined fingers.

Severus released his hold.

Rose stood on her tiptoes. She caressed Severus's face in her hands, then lightly pressed her lips to his.

She disapparated.

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