Songbird
Summary: She asked for his protection. He gave it to her. But with Klaus Mikaelson everything came with a price and into his web Caroline Forbes went. However that was only the beginning. Mafia!Klaroline AU/AH.
Chapter XI: The Dark End of the Street
...
At the dark end of the street that is where we always meet
Hiding in shadows where we don't belong, living in darkness, to hide alone
You and me, at the dark end of the street
...
You and me…I know a time has gonna take it's toll
...
Mystic Falls
September 2008
Caroline ran her fingers through the tangle of her hair.
She should really throw away her hair straightener. No matter how much she had tried her fizzy hair was out of control. She had kept brushing them and brushing them but it was of no use. Ever since her mom's funeral, she couldn't straighten her locks to perfection as she used to. It was driving her mad. So much that she couldn't sleep. She tried to sleep but she couldn't. Every night she stared at the ceiling and sleep would evade her. It was so frustrating. Almost as frustrating as the mess of her hair was.
Caroline taped one more box. She was packing her mom's things. Logan insisted it would be a good thing to put Elizabeth Forbes' things in the garage and use the free space for them. It would also help her move on and not be so sad since her mother's things only served as a reminder of the loss.
Caroline guessed he was right but somehow… it felt wrong.
Caroline huffed and blew a strand of her hair out of her face. The sunlight streamed through the curtains like fingers of brightness that stung her eyes. Her mascara burned as she clenched her eyes shut and felt wetness gather on her eyelashes. Shit! She didn't need her eyes to get more red and irritated. She had lost count of how many days had passed where she had no sleep. Caffeine was the only thing keeping her up these days but it made her so jittery. The lack of sleep and the endless coffees made her feel lightheaded and antsy. She shivered and felt cold and feverish but most importantly she had black circles under her eyes that looked red as blood and she looked as pale as a ghost. Make-up could not save her now and she had to go to Carol Lockwood in a few hours. She was after all head of the planning committee for the Mystic Falls' pageant. She couldn't back down from her responsibilities. Priorities and all. One dead parent was not the end of the world. Two were not either. She was on her own now. She had to handle her life and she had been organizing this year's pageant fundraising for months. She sure as hell would see it through.
Besides, it was not as if she was breaking down or anything. She held it all together. She was fine. She persevered. She could handle some sleepless nights. Her mother would have wanted her to be strong and carry on with her life. That was exactly what she planned to do. End of story.
The pain would pass. Pain always passed. And she had a fundraiser party to plan.
"Wow, those are really old," Elena called from the kitchen and when Caroline lifted her head from the stash of books she was putting in another box she saw Elena bringing a bag filled with old disks and cassettes.
Her mom used to love collecting old cassettes. Caroline always teased her when it came to that but her mom had grown up listening to those cassettes and when the world turned to the digital age she held on to her tapes. She even kept a cassette-player in the living room that was as old as her tape collection. Caroline remembered her mother telling her how this was the one and only gift Bill Forbes had given her that she had actually kept.
"You should put those in that box over there. It is already labeled," Caroline told Elena that seemed to be too absorbed into checking out her mom's tapes instead of actually putting them away.
Caroline shook her head annoyed. She pushed her hair back and tied them in a messy ponytail.
She gave a sidewise look at Elena that took a tape and carefully put in the player. She fumbled with the buttons carefully and managed to turn on the audio cassette player. The plastic film of the tape started turning. The first sound was nothing but static but the more the tape strip was wounding around the more the grinding noise turned to actual music.
The quality was not the best but melody filled the room and sent a sharp pang of pain straight into Caroline's heart.
…
For you, there'll be no more crying. [1]
…
Elena smiled nostalgically but Caroline gulped down. She couldn't breathe.
Why did it have to be this song?
…
For you, the sun will be shining.
…
Caroline pushed away the box she had in front of her. She fidgeted with her fingers using all her will power to not bring them to her ears to block away the sound. She started trembling. Her eyes started burning more.
"Turn it off," Caroline calmly said but her voice was covered by the volume of the music.
…
And I feel that when I'm with you.
…
Caroline took a deep breath. One more.
But her lungs refused to work. She started shaking so much.
"Turn it off," Caroline said a bit louder but not loud enough. She could barely manage the words. Her voice barely came out.
…
The songbirds are singing.
…
"Turn it off!" Caroline yelled and ran and jammed her fingers on the stop button of the player shocking Elena that looked at her with wide eyes.
She got the tape out harshly almost breaking the old stereo and then she stared at the cassette she held in her quivering hands. Her mom's handwriting was on it. She had written the title of the song with a pen on the etiquette. Tears blinded Caroline but she refused to let them fall. She panted as if she had run miles.
When Elena tried to touch her she stumbled back as if she was struck by electricity.
She felt faint.
For a moment there she didn't know where she was. She shook her head. It was throbbing. She was so tired but at the same time, she was so on edge. It was as if she was constantly pumped with adrenaline.
Elena stared at her worried and Caroline dropped the tape on the table before she straightened her blouse and wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans.
"We need to finish this. I need to meet with Mrs. Lockwood in an hour," Caroline mumbled and turned back to her mom's books and started discarding them in the boxes in front of her no longer caring for organizing them by genre and author. She only wanted to be done.
"Maybe you should not go to Carol's committee Care," Elena tried, her tone soft, "It is too soon. Just take some time and-"
"I'll be fine," Caroline interrupted her, biting out the words and Elena gave her a look of disbelief.
Elena had also lost both of her parents and knew how it felt. Elena that was so supporting and compassionate and perfect and could handle grief with dignity.
But Elena had Jeremy and her aunt Jenna. Elena wasn't completely alone like her. Elena was an orphan too but she still had a family. She had no one.
"Care-"
Elena's placating tone was so irritating. Caroline wiped the burning mascara out of her eyes. She would have to re-do her makeup now and she was not in the mood for Elena's patronizing sympathy and understanding.
"I'll be fine Elena. Logan will be there and I'll be fine."
Elena Gilbert gave her a pitying look.
She hated that look. Everyone looked at her like that. Matt. Elena. The whole town. She had to get out.
But she had nowhere to go.
"You keep saying that," Elena protested, trying to make her see reason as if she was mad or something and Caroline realized she didn't even have the energy to glare at her. She didn't feel anger or despair or pain.
She felt nothing.
She pushed the box away. Storing her mother's memory away.
"I'm fine."
She felt nothing. She was fine.
She was fine. She felt nothing.
Some people were squeamish with blood. As it turns out she wasn't.
Caroline lately went through endless sessions of Klaus' lessons on how to be a criminal but even so, there was a line he never allowed her to pass.
The torture part belonged to him and even though she was as good as he was in the mind games she would never be as good as he was at slowly hacking people. He used to keep that part of his job hidden from her but now he no longer did. It was an unsaid agreement between them. She had asked him to allow her to get into his world and Klaus no longer held back.
She had watched Kol torture men before and even Stefan but now she finally understood why everyone was so terrified of Klaus. Others knew what crippled and what hurt in the body but Klaus knew how to cripple and destroy both the body and the soul and there was a part of him that relished in doing both. There were times when his rage was silent and he was detached and those were the times even she felt waves of dread ran through her…and then there was that sickening smile of perverse sadism and pleasure he got whenever his victims screamed and whenever warm blood covered his hands. It made her wonder how it was possible for a man like Klaus to be able to touch her with such gentle tenderness and yet to still be able to doll out such pain without mercy. It should turn her off but there was a part of her that was turned on and she didn't know what was wrong with her but there was nothing Klaus could do to turn her away now.
And she didn't turn away. She didn't avert her eyes even now that she watched Klaus torture a man without end for hours. The screams had long died out as did the pleading but truly the only reason that made her squeeze up her nose in disgust was the fact that Klaus wasn't careful and he had just ruined one more of the shirts she had bought for him.
Bloodstains were not easy to wash. Especially from such delicate fabrics.
She sighed as she eyed how Klaus was now practically bathed in blood. Exasperated she only ran her hands over the touch screen of her tablet. Marking down dates and checking out the information she had gotten from Klaus' inquiries from the last four gang members he 'handled'.
The last biker was now slowly bleeding out and Caroline knew that Klaus had gotten all the information the man had to give. She encrypted the document with Bonnie's code making sure that no one would be able to hack it. She rose her eyes and when Klaus glanced at her and she gave him a stone-cold nod.
It would do. For now.
She didn't flinch when Klaus' knife hacked into the gut of the man and tore him apart. Blood splattered everywhere and then the hollow breathing of pain slowed down until there was no life left in what was left from the man.
Klaus stepped back from the corpse he left hanging on the chains and gestured to his men to take the body away.
Caroline ignored the commotion as she watched only Klaus that went to the bench and threw the blade on the rest blood coated instruments and wiped his hands with a cloth. She turned off her tablet and peeked at the exit of the basement. Klaus' men had taken the mangled corpse and had left closing the door behind them.
Leaving them alone.
Caroline set aside her tablet and stared at Klaus who now gulped down mouthfuls from a vodka bottle as she walked at him.
She glared at him and touched his shirt with distaste with her perfectly manicured nails.
"Seriously?" she nagged and Klaus rolled his eyes before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"What do you propose love?" he mocked her, "should I start wearing an apron?"
Caroline's lips pushed to a reluctant smile that she tried to suppress.
"Wouldn't hurt," she commented humorously when Klaus shook his head and she took away the bottle from his hand and brought it to her lips. She loved the taste of the strong alcohol and didn't take away her eyes from Klaus' gaze that burned as he watched her drink.
When she put down the bottle and licked her lips she hummed pleased before she wrapped her hand around his, intertwining her fingers with his bloody ones.
Klaus' narrowed his eyes not expecting this just as her lips crashed with his. She tasted vodka and blood and moaned. It was the taste of bloodthirst that set her on fire the most.
Their bodies swayed and their kiss grew deeper. Caroline started pulling the blood-stained shirt off his shoulders without letting their lips part. The tongues danced and she wanted more. So much more. She didn't care for the blood that was now ruining her own expensive clothes. More so she didn't mind at all when Klaus ruined her own shirt by tearing it apart making all the buttons fly in every direction.
His hands gripped her ass and lifted her up making her skirt go up as she wrapped her legs around his middle.
It was when Klaus pushed on the table all over the blades and the rest of the weapons and tools clattered that his eyes snapped open and he realized what they were doing.
He stopped.
It was her reaction that was delayed. She didn't realize at once that Klaus had no intention of continuing what they had started and when she did she felt lost.
Caroline heaved and gave him a confused and frustrated look. He flew back as if electricity had hit him and quickly pulled her up and made her stand on her feet again.
She didn't know what was happening but Klaus looked upset.
"What's wrong?" she asked baffled.
Klaus gestured to the place they were and Caroline was surprised to see him so aghast. He looked almost embarrassed and she didn't even know why.
"Wrong place," Klaus started apologetically, "wrong time-"
"Wrong equipment?" she joked as she kicked away one of the blades that had fallen from the table he had thrown her on and when Klaus followed her movement he blinked before he let out a curse that startled her.
He went from apologetic to furious in seconds and Caroline was puzzled to see him retrieving his shirt only to tear it to ribbons with angry movements. Caroline watched him with wide eyes as he came close and pressed the cloth on her bleeding leg.
Caroline looked down and noticed that one of the blades had grazed her thigh in the place where her skirt had lifted and she shrugged. She hadn't even felt it.
"It's okay," she assured him and Klaus pressed his lips until his face turned to a pale mask of pain and anger.
"Nothing of this is okay."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Caroline questioned him sharply as she yanked his hand away from her superficial wound.
Klaus watched her intently for a few long seconds and it was one of the rare times she couldn't read him and it threw her completely off balance.
She didn't like it.
Klaus' ran his hand through his tangled hair. He retreated but that made Caroline's frustration rise even more.
What the hell was wrong with him all of the sudden?
Was he rejecting her? Since when? And why?
All her insecurities rose at once. Klaus had never made her feel that way. Why now? What was happening?
"You are still bleeding love. You should take care of that," he sighed.
She pouted and checked her leg before she gave him a daring look.
"How about you take care of it instead?"
Klaus let out a long breath.
"Let us go upstairs and I'll -"
"No, no," she interrupted him mischievously, "it might get infected till we go up. Such a serious injury and all that," she mocked him.
She then retrieved the bottle of vodka and walked at him provocatively as Klaus watched her speechless.
"You can use the vodka," she proposed with a shrug and Klaus stared at her as if he had never seen her before, "as a disinfectant," she clarified, extended at him the vodka and watched him expectantly.
"Caroline-"
"I never expected the fear and terror of Chicago to have such delicate sensibilities really. It is endearing sweetheart," she imitated his accent and Klaus' eyes turned to slits just as she taunted him by drinking slowly from the bottle without taking her eyes from his.
She remained unfazed and didn't react at all when Klaus took the bottle off her mouth roughly.
"You are playing with fire love," he warned her.
"Burn me then," she challenged him and her breath hitched when his eyes darkened. He came closer and his toned muscles brushed against her bra.
Klaus towered over her, his mouth an inch away from hers.
He purposely let the bottle tilt and she hissed when the fiery liquid dribbled down her leg and mingled with her blood.
The rough pad of Klaus' thumb wiped the last drops of vodka from her lips smearing her face with what was left from the lipstick his previous kiss hadn't wiped away.
They stared at each other. It wasn't foreplay this time. It was a challenge. It was war. And they had never looked at each other like that before.
Caroline grabbed one of his necklaces and pulled him down. When Klaus saw the bird necklace she was holding his gaze turned to stone and the kiss that came next was more of a bite rather than a kiss.
The bottle fell from Klaus' hand and broke in a thousand pieces on the floor as they madly attacked each other with teeth that bit and hands that left bruises.
They pushed and pulled taking in the worst parts of each other.
Caroline took over and claimed all control as she unclasped her bra letting it fall to the ground and quickly started unbuckling Klaus' belt as he tore away her skirt and panties.
There was no gentleness or love. There was only need and primal instinct. This time the moans that filled the room belonged to a different kind of torture.
In the end, it was Caroline that pushed him back, this time against the dirty wall with the chains and stains of blood. It was her that pulled him to her by the leather cord of his necklace she was holding turning it into a noose around his neck and it was her that pulled back from their kiss only to drive her gaze into his as they both struggled for breath.
"Fuck me!"
Her order was a command Klaus could not refuse.
She had tempted him to burn her but he was the one turned to ash.
Caroline's fingers were wrapped around one of the necklaces he wore. The leather cord was tangled between her fingertips and the metal shape of the bird was almost luminescent in the dark.
His fingers absentmindedly caressed Caroline's hair as he felt her breath grazing his naked chest.
Time was moving at a glacial pace. Caroline was sleeping with an expression that resembled a gentle smile but truth was that her smile even in her sleep didn't seem genuine to him.
He unlaced her fingers from the necklace that now felt more like a noose around his throat.
Every night was torment. For him. His mind was becoming a bleak scary place in the night hours and he didn't need to sleep for his nightmares to come out and laugh and play.
Every night he held Caroline in his arms and every night she slept peacefully while he recounted every moment he had lived with her ever since he had met her.
And he realized that he…missed her.
She was there, by his side. But he missed her.
He had loved her fire. Her light. Her strength.
He had loved her quirks and everything that made her so distinctly…Caroline.
Only now that was missing. Klaus had her in his arms, every night, and it was as if Caroline wasn't even there.
And it was then that Klaus realized why Caroline was sleeping so peacefully every night and why he couldn't sleep at all. He realized why there were no more nightmares haunting her anyone. Why her soul wasn't been torn apart.
Caroline's soul wasn't bleeding as he had expected. She wasn't affected by anything. She wasn't traumatized or struggling.
It was the oddest thing really.
No one could be that indifferent. That cool and that bloodthirsty out of nowhere. It took time. It took a certain transition. It took pain and not apathetic nonchalance.
It, unfortunately, had taken him some time to understand why that was happening and it only took pushing Caroline him against a wall and fucking him raw with blood on his hands for him to realize it. It was in that moment when he was inside her and instead of feeling bliss he felt dirty. It was when he looked into her eyes realizing that he couldn't bear that vacant gaze of hers. Lust was there. But nothing else.
Caroline's soul had allowed the darkness in and it was now calm but not because it was at peace. It was because it was frozen.
And he had let it happen.
Caroline defeated her enemies and her ghosts and gave into his world without allowing herself to give in to the pain or facing the consequences of her actions and for doing that she retreated into a place inside her head where he couldn't reach her. Where no one could.
Caroline's survival instinct had led her to emotionally cripple herself and she continued on as if nothing had happened.
And how unforgivable was he that he encouraged her to do that? How selfish was he that he had preferred to look away as the best parts of hers were fading away only because that meant he could keep her?
Only to realize that this wasn't what he had wanted in the first place.
Not like this. Not for her.
Not for them.
Klaus gently kissed the top of Caroline's head.
He had made a mistake. A grave mistake.
He had brought this beautiful girl into his world and tied her by his side when he should have set her free.
The fact that he wanted her either way, the fact that he could appreciate every side of her, and her light and her darkness, didn't mean that it absolved him from not giving her her best chance.
He put his needs first. Caroline was like his personal drug and the more he had her the more addicted to her he became and the more he kept her close.
And just like an addiction, the result was toxic and decay followed.
He should have set her free even if it meant letting her go. Even if it meant waiting for her forever to come to him even if she never would.
Instead, he taught her how to build the same walls he had built around his heart a long time ago when he chose to turn into a monster than face his demons with a human heart. Humanity was a weakness and he had banished it to hell. It wasn't until he destroyed Mikael and Esther that he realized that his greatest enemy wasn't them but it was the vile thing he saw in the mirror. He was his worst enemy and he was unloved. He was alone. He loathed and destroyed and hated. His love was just as toxic as his hate was. His siblings could attest to that. And in the end no one could hurt him more than he was able to hurt himself.
It wasn't until Caroline Forbes came into his life and brought with her everything he had thought he had destroyed in him that made him bear his worst impulses and everything he was. Caroline had taught him how to love and in return, he taught her how to hate. He may have put her first but what did he know of love?
And now Caroline was damaged and he couldn't help her.
She was the only one that could help herself.
He only knew one of one thing for sure. It was too late for him.
He only hoped it wasn't for her.
...
Detroit
February 2013
Caroline rubbed the back of her neck tiredly. She needed to drink something warm and go to bed already but had just come down from the stage. The smoke from the club always irritated her eyes and throat and tonight was not an exception. She had sung all night long but lately these nights were becoming longer and longer.
Maybe it was time to move on. She had settled down for longer than she had first intended. Rebekah's club had been a good environment for some time but lately, she couldn't handle the pressure…or the attention.
She couldn't lose herself again and yet she was losing herself every time she faced Klaus Mikaelson's piercing eyes staring at her night after night. It no longer felt as if she sang for the crowd of Loup Rouge. It felt as if she was singing for him and him alone.
He was there every night. At his table. His eyes boring into her until she found herself struggling for breath.
He had been inviting her to sit at his table ever since Rebekah had introduced her to him and every time she declined his offer. Politely but persistently and yet he persisted nonetheless. Ever since he had seen her singing on stage he never missed another performance of hers.
And then the gifts came. Flowers and chocolate and expensive jewelry. It wasn't until she actually strode to his table and told him to take a hint and stop showering her with his stupid gifts and leave her the hell alone that she realized how dangerous Klaus Mikaelson was. It would seem he had expected her reaction and that was why he had been sending her all those gifts, to begin with. He had wanted her to go to him. To face him face to face. To be angry, to lose her control and so she did and it brought a sinful smile in his lips and made her realize she was in too deep already. He looked at her with admiration and challenged her to give him a chance.
It was frustrating. How charming he could be. It was frustrating. And he was more than that. He was intelligent and persistent and clever. It was a bad combination because she knew who he was. Everyone knew who he was.
Klaus Mikaelson was the epitome of danger and every inch of that danger resonated in every part of hers that was attracted by everything he was and everything he could offer her. She couldn't deny that he was a breathing temptation and she was finding harder and harder to resist.
Maybe she should really leave Detroit. She had enough money to travel now. She could go to Europe.
Or even return home.
No. Not home.
She would never go back there but there were so many places she could go even though lately, even that possibility paled in comparison to how exciting life could be if she took up Klaus on his offer and let him show her the world.
Caroline opened the door of her dressing room and forgot to close it when she turned on the lights and saw a jewelry box, wrapped up in a neat beautiful satin white bow, on the vanity table.
She bristled at that and let out a huff.
She marched to the table and harshly unwrapped the bow while shaking her head. She already knew this was from Klaus. No one else could enter her dressing room in Rebekah's club and this was a signature move of his.
"Just give up already," she muttered and opened the box expecting to see another set of diamonds but instead she frowned when she realized that this time inside the box was a folded paper.
She set the velvet box aside and carefully unfolded the paper and froze.
A gasp escaped her lips.
Impossible, she thought.
And yet…
This was far more than an expensive gift. This was a drawing. Her drawing.
So that was what it was she realized.
She remembered when a few nights ago Klaus watched her keenly but there were times for the first time since she had met him when his eyes would drop and she would miss the warmth and intensity of his gaze. She should have been relieved to have those moments of respite but instead she had grown curious at what he was writing down that made him look so absorbed and pensive only for him to return his gaze back to her far more intently than before. He would stare at her with a furrowed brow and then turn his attention back to his notebook. She had wondered back then if he was writing something about her but she had never expected him to have such talent.
Klaus Mikaelson had sketched her. Singing on stage.
And she looked beautiful.
She ran her fingers over the lines that shaped her form. She looked…so…
'Is this the way he sees me?' she thought with wonder and gulped down. Her heart was speeding up. There were excitement and dread inside her building up. As if she had swallowed down a thousand butterflies that now flapped their wings and threatened to burst out of her. She knew Klaus Mikaelson was dangerous for her. He was reaching to parts of her she had wanted to ignore. He was pulling and pushing and her defenses were crumbling. She could run away. She could go to the other side of the earth but how could she outrun what threatened to become a feeling inside her?
"Why won't you give me a chance sweetheart?"
Caroline closed her eyes. His voice was warm and gentle and it should have startled her but instead, it made her ache.
When she reopened her eyes she saw him through the mirror. Klaus was leaning against the doorframe and he looked at her with so much longing and so much hope.
His question was direct. No more games.
She noticed how he was watching his drawing in her hands and the paper fell from her hands. It felt as if it had burned her and she took a step back when the drawing fell close to her legs.
Caroline took a deep breath. This wasn't good. She had to run away. She had to find a way out of this. With her past, she should know better.
Chemistry…attraction…love…
She couldn't fall into that trap again. Not with someone like Klaus.
Images of Logan entered her mind and that fire that grew inside her turned to ice. She knew the consequences of a bad decision. She knew what could happen if she trusted the wrong person. She couldn't pay the same price twice and maybe Klaus wouldn't physically harm her but men like him could hurt others in far more destructive ways and she had only just mended her broken heart again. She couldn't afford to have it shuttered again. This time it wouldn't heal. She couldn't take such chances. It would be easy. But where would it leave her?
Maybe she had turned to a coward but her morality, her fears, every lesson she had been taught now screamed at her to keep Klaus away.
And Klaus Mikaelson was not like Logan. He would never let her go. That much she knew. That much she could tell. And what was worse was that maybe she would not want him to let her go either and she had fought too hard to be free only for her to squander her chance away like this. She would not become anyone's trophy or obsession again.
So she put on her brave face and let the hostility spill out of her. It was the only way to cover everything she felt. It was the only way to protect herself.
She narrowed her eyes and glared at Klaus' reflection.
"What happens if I don't?" she coldly asked him.
Oh yes. She had heard the rumors. She knew what happened to those that denied Klaus Mikaelson but she was not one of his victims or worse even one of those that feared him and bent backward to serve him. She was not going to be one of those women that flocked around him begging for his attention either. Klaus Mikaelson had a reputation with women too.
Maybe she should have shared his bed when she had first met him and maybe he would have moved on the next day as he did with all his other conquests that never managed to keep his interest for more than a night.
But she had to go around and make it a challenge for him and now it was too late to just have a one night stand with him and move on. Deep down she knew this wasn't an option for her anymore. This wasn't just lust and infatuation. This game was lethal and it was a dead-end with no way out.
Klaus' eyes mirrored her reaction and he narrowed his eyes and Caroline tensed when he straightened his body and approached her.
She turned her head around only to see him staring her down. So close to her now. He looked at her as if he could read her thoughts. As if he could strip her naked from the inside out.
"Do you think so low of me?" he drawled, his tone inciting and yet wrapped in darkness and promise.
She steeled herself and did not back down.
"Yes."
For a moment there Klaus seemed surprised and almost crestfallen but she must have imagined it because then his eyes gleamed with amusement and determination and he smirked. It was as if her answer ignited pride and satisfaction in him. The blue of his eyes turned into black and his eyes fell on her lips. The air thickened between them.
There was an onslaught of emotion crashing over her. She was trapped in the middle of the storm and all she had to do was lean over and taste sin itself.
Klaus' body slanted forward and Caroline held her breath when his nose almost touched her neck. He inhaled her in and then slowly lowered his body down. His eyes tracing every inch of her body making her feel so exposed and vulnerable. He was so close. His movement felt like calculation and intimidation but instead of filling with dread her body hummed with desire. What she wore on stage for singing, silk and satin, offered no barrier between her and Klaus that now went on one knee before her, never taking his eyes away from her making her blink when she realized that he had reached for the drawing she had dropped.
Caroline found it harder to breathe as he got up slowly taking her in with his eyes in an even more impossibly intense way making her feel both desirable and trapped in her own skin.
He towered over her and then looked down at the sketch.
"Truly pales in comparison," he muttered and shook his head disappointed confusing Caroline as he eyed her apologetically, "I am afraid I' didn't do you justice, sweetheart," Klaus observed and Caroline draw a sharp breath when Klaus tried to tear the paper.
No! He couldn't do that!
She grasped his hands stopping him at the last moment.
She couldn't let him destroy the drawing…for some reason, she couldn't.
The paper wrinkled. Their hands laced.
There was shock from them both and stillness. Caroline's eyes widened. She shouldn't have done that. Touching him…but he was warm where she had expected him to be cold.
…So warm…
It felt as if a current flowed through him into her. She looked down at their hands. She would fare better if she held a grenade…Why couldn't she move her hands back?
The sound of the paper further twisting snapped her back into reality. Caroline withdrew her hands back and stepped back ashamed for her reaction.
Klaus smiled fondly and approached her again this time carefully as if he was afraid she would either vanish in front of his eyes like a ghost or she would flee from him like a crazy person and then very gently placed the drawing back on her hands.
Caroline looked up at him, speechless and unable to even move.
Klaus said nothing. He only left and Caroline felt as if her legs could barely support her weight. She rushed to the door and closed it making sure to lock it.
She watched the crumpled drawing in her hands and for some reason, she hugged it feeling as if she was falling and that small piece of paper was the only thing that could ground her.
.
.
Klaus Mikaelson heard the lock turning just as he walked away from Caroline Forbes' dressing room.
He stopped moving and closed his eyes.
He flexed and uncurled his fingers before he looked down at his hands. They tingled.
He had never felt this kind of adrenaline before.
One touch was enough.
Caroline was like his guns. A straight bullet to the heart.
Aimed at him.
At first, he had been certain it was only a matter of time before she would give in. At first he believed she had only been playing hard to get but the resolve in her eyes told him differently now. He knew of her past that defined her thanks to Kol but he only had to look at her to truly know of her strength and the metal that laid beneath her fragile beauty that was only magnified by her hostility.
Her constant rejection irked him but a part of him was filled with pride for the way she handled herself. It was refreshing to meet someone so brave and fearless. Someone so beautiful that couldn't be bought or forced into submission.
Caroline was a breath of fresh air. A game he loved playing.
She had been his muse for the last weeks and a challenge.
Only tonight he realized she was far more than that.
It was right then and in that moment when he decided he would keep her.
And once he did…he would not let her go.
Klaus let out a small breath careful not to wake Caroline as he rose from the bed and left their bedroom.
He had gotten used to the lack of sleep. Usually he would battle it by working till day would break through the night and sunlight would bleed through the darkness but this night he would not lock himself in his study.
Tonight he had another destination.
It wasn't long until he found himself in the gardens. Past the darkness and the guards and all the memories, he had from this dreadful place that used to be his mother's sanctuary.
He didn't feel the chill of the night. Instead, he was drawn to the cooing of the birds. Their feathers seemed luminous in the darkness, bathed in the moonlight behind the intricate bars of their prison.
For some reason the beautiful birds were awake. As if they were waiting for him. As if they knew.
He stepped up the stone steps and the smell of the roses taunted his nostrils as he slowly approached the cage with the hummingbirds that stirred.
He observed them until his eyes completely adjusted to every detail that was painted in their bright and soft colors.
Klaus Mikaelson never bothered truly watching them before. They had been Esther's fixation after all. Not his. And yet he still wore his mother's necklace. She had given him wings in metal but she had let Mikael break his. So he kept the bird necklace and used it as a reminder of her that he carried in his whole life. A reminder of her failures. A reminder of how he was her bastard and how he had stayed in the cage she had created for him long before he broke the chains that held him down. Esther's betrayals had marked him and yet despite having taken her life her memory still lingered and defined him. He trapped Esther's memory, her very spirit, in the gardens along with her bones and sometimes he felt as if her ghost haunted the grounds.
It was time to let her go but deep down Klaus didn't know whom he truly meant by that. His mother was dead and gone. Esther Mikaelson had taught him of hate and possession. She had taught him fear and agony and a longing for the love she would never truly give him as she allowed Mikael to abuse him ever since he remembered himself. Esther taught him so many things. She taught him how to be selfish and hateful and how to trap what he wanted. How to own what he craved and to bend what he yearned to his will. How to trap until the one trapped would be himself.
She taught him that and more.
But she had never taught him how to love.
She had never taught him how to let go.
Klaus Mikaelson tugged at the necklace he wore and he didn't hesitate.
'Some birds were not meant to be caged.'
The leather cord snapped and he dropped the necklace at his feet. He stepped on it crushing it under his heel just as he opened the doors of the birdcage and freed his mother's birds. He watched them fly away wondering if they would ever return to the safety they knew or would vanish forever.
Deep down Klaus knew that by dawn they'd be just a memory just like Esther was.
Klaus Mikaelson left the empty cage back behind him and went back to the only sanctuary he had ever known.
Caroline was sleeping soundly between the tangled sheets. Her hair glistened over the pillow and he smiled fondly.
He went and sat on the armchair that was set at the right side of the bed and gathered his notebook and pencil from the small table next to the chair.
The scratching noises of the pencil filled the room soothing his soul like a lullaby as he sketched Caroline's sleeping form on the paper. Each sketch depicted genuine beauty. One he wanted to commit to memory forever.
And when he finally settled back in the bed and gathered Caroline in his arms he did not become tormented by the lack of sleep. This time he cherished every second of wakefulness he had with Caroline in his arms.
For he knew that now that he opened them he could not close them again. He wouldn't. The doors of the cage were wide open and it was only a matter of time before he would have one more memory to haunt him.
The doors of Loup Noir opened for him and when he entered again the whole place was finally remodeled.
Caroline's voice was an echo from the newly set stage and like a wave filled in the empty space. His eyes followed the sound and soon enough he spotted her in the center of the dimly lit elevated stage of Loup Noir.
She was sitting on a high chair playing the guitar and setting the pace for the other musicians that accompanied her. She was singing and checking the new sound systems.
The bar was empty but the grand opening was only but a few weeks away. Loup Noir would finally invite people again after the shooting and this project has been Caroline's baby. Lately, she was spending more time here than anywhere else and for the past days she was spending endless long and exhausting hours with her rehearsals. She wanted everything to be perfect and she acted as if this was a place she truly wanted to be. As if she had no recollection of the horror that had transpired in this very ground.
She had changed the decoration of the entire place. She had completely renovated it.
The stage was now set in the exact spot where Stefan had died.
Not that he would point that out to her because he knew that despite how Caroline acted this had been intentional.
She would never forget. She would never forgive. And the stage would be set on bones and death. He didn't miss the symbolism.
He stared at Caroline's posture. She was tense. She wore a black shirt and black jeans and her hair was trapped in a messy ponytail and she looked so small behind guitar but she didn't seem to mind the weight or the noise from the cleaning crew that still worked on the tables and the floors. It was a commotion that did not distract her at all.
He looked around and was at least pleased to see that his men were still following his orders and not even a fly could enter the club or the streets around it without him knowing it.
He took his eyes away from Caroline and inspected the changes.
The club was built back up again. From ruin to glory and yet he could still smell the blood and the dust. He could still feel Caroline's body underneath his after the bomb exploded. He had covered her with his own body and for a few seconds, he had believed he had been too late and she was lying dead under him.
Klaus shook his head.
If it was up to him he would raze this damn place to the ground but Caroline had insisted to rebuild and restore. As if she could cover the ugly with fancy colors and pretend that the past hadn't happened. That she could forget and move on and so he had indulged her. At this point he was ready to lay the world at her feet should she ask.
….Oh but our love keeps coming on strong
Steal away….mmm mmm….
He turned his attention back to her and smiled. He smiled when she smiled and right now there was a faint smile on her lips as she enjoyed bringing the lyrics of the song to life.
He truly had become a lovesick fool.
He went from believing love to be the greatest weakness to be wholly devoted to Caroline and obeying her every wish and whim and truth was that he didn't even mind.
All he wanted was to see her happy and truth was that there were moments like this when he could still get a few glimpses of carefree happiness in her. Those were the moments that gave him pause and took some of the weight he carried on his shoulders away.
It was when Caroline sang and forgot the world when her light returned. It was still there and she was only holding it back. But music ran in her blood as death ran in his.
Music was truly the window to her soul.
….That's where we always meet…Hiding in shadows where we don't belong
….Living in darkness to hide our wrong…
But that window now didn't show him all the light he wanted to see.
It should have alarmed him sooner. Even her music betrayed what he now knew.
Even her songs had lately taken a darker turn. The pieces she chose were not what she would usually sing. It troubled him. These little details troubled him and so he went to the bar and when one of the people working behind the bar served him a glass of bourbon he felt as if he was swallowing acid and the only remedy to take away the burn was Caroline's divine voice.
It had been her voice that had drawn him to her in the first place.
That magical sound. That throaty cadence that enchanted him body and soul.
She had been his siren and she still was and her voice both soothed the ache and both ignited the agony.
How he had wanted her.
How he still wanted her.
So just like he used to do when she had been turning him down over and over again he sat in the distance and watched her as if she was his unachievable dream he was doomed to chase for eternity.
Maybe this should have been better. If she had never accepted him. If she had stood firm and had never let him in. If he hadn't been the bastard to prey on her weakness and fear. Maybe it would hurt less.
Maybe.
…Steal away to the dark end of the street…You and me..They gonna find us, they gonna find us
They gonna find us love someday…You and me, at the dark end of the street…
Caroline cleared throat.
"That last note was too high. Let us take it from there again," she said to the pianist and the man nodded. Her pianist's fingers stroked the keys as hers moved on the strings of her guitar.
Klaus licked his lips. Those beautiful pristine long fingers of hers. The way they produced music mesmerized him as much as they did when she held his face in them and gently tamed the monster inside him.
He longed for her touch.
…When the daylight should come around…And by chance we're both in town
…I want you to walk on by...
...Please meet, just walk, walk on by…
He longed for her.
...
Chicago
October 2013
He hadn't felt panic for years and yet today he did.
There had been a passing moment when he had truly panicked. It was irrational but there were times when he felt as if Caroline would vanish from his life as easily as she came into it.
So when he had returned to his home, still elated at the thought that Caroline would wait for him and he could have dinner with her and enjoy their banter and her reluctance to his compliments and his attempts to woo her, only to find that she was nowhere to be found he had felt the kind of insecurity that threatened to turn to rage.
Maybe she had changed her mind. Maybe she had decided to break their deal and escape not just Logan's threat but him too.
Logically he knew it would be impossible for Caroline to leave his mansion without knowing where she went. His home was heavily guarded. No one went in or out without his knowledge. There were guards, dogs in every corner. Cameras, fences and high walls everywhere.
Besides his men had direct orders to never let Caroline out of their eyes. She could go nowhere without his permission and even though he had been lenient to allow her to move around in the city at will and go wherever she wanted whenever she wanted he had been adamant to always take Stefan with her and the security he had chosen for her. If for some reason it was dangerous for her to go out he would inform her since he also had many enemies but for now she could go anywhere she wanted as long as she followed his rules or what he believed to be common sense.
Very soon he would introduce her to his circle as his woman. He didn't intend to hide her in as if she was his dirty little secret. He wanted to have her by his side. He wanted to make it known to everyone she belonged to him. He wanted to feel everyone's envy at owning such a beauty.
Of course, he would have to make sure everyone would believe she was nothing more than a sidepiece of no true importance rather than make her a beautiful invaluable trophy for him to parade around. It would be safer for her. She would not attract the wrong attention that way and no one would think to use her as a weakness against him.
He knew Caroline would hate the label of the mistress but it had been part of the deal she had agreed upon and even though he gave her time to adjust very soon he would start taking her to Loup Noir and then she would sing only for him. Everyone would learn that she was his favorite and no one would dare lay a hand on her. She would both be important enough for others not to touch but she would also look as unimportant as needed for others not to bother with her and think of using her as leverage.
Still…she could still potentially make a beautiful bait and Logan Fell was still out there. As were many morons that thought they could have what he had. Caroline's safety was of paramount importance to him so it made sense to have his men protect her at all costs.
It was for her own safety after all. This was why she had come to him in the first place. For protection. So he gave it to her and when she had protested that Stefan and his men felt more like her jailers rather than bodyguards he had only shrugged telling her that this was what she had wanted from him and that a deal was a deal and he was only keeping his end of it so she should now keep hers. And so she had.
Until tonight.
Until she was nowhere to be found and he knew that even though it was almost impossible for her to ran away he also knew that Caroline was smart and determined. He would not put it past her to have been able to fool everyone here and ran away under their noses.
If this was what had happened he would bury them all for their incompetence. He had made it clear that Caroline Forbes was their priority now. Her life was above everyone else's and he had to always know where she was. He had to know with whom she talked, who she saw, what she did. He wanted to know everything.
If she had run away he would put their heads on pikes!
As for her…there was nowhere she would be able to hide!
In that moment he knew he would turn the whole world upside down to find her and Logan Fell would become a fond memory for her. No one betrayed him. No one left him.
He hated to admit that what he feared the most was the idea that she could be in danger and he wouldn't be able to reach her in time.
He hated the fact that he felt lonely. More lonely than ever before. Now that he had her light in his life he could not return to his darkness.
It was only but a few weeks since she had brought Caroline to Chicago but he counted these weeks as the happiest of his entire life. They gave him energy and purpose and even though Caroline still kept the distance between them she now belonged to him. They read poetry together. They ate breakfast and dinner together. And he could relish in her beauty and warmth.
It would be too much of a cruel torture for that to be ripped away from him now. Not after all the time he had tried to make her give him a chance and maybe the way he got his chance was not ideal but it was still a chance. He didn't deserve Caroline but he had her and he didn't care for what was right or wrong so hell be damned he would keep her. She had accepted his deal. She belonged to him now.
His mind went to a thousand places each bleaker than the one before and darker to the point of madness until Stefan informed him that Caroline had gone to the one place no one was allowed to go.
He had frozen at that before he flinched.
Stefan almost cowered in front of him as did most of the personnel that was brave enough to stand behind Stefan.
No one was allowed to go there but he had also given explicit orders to everyone in the mansion that Caroline was to have free reign to his house. They had to respect her as they respected him. They had to give her everything she wanted, when she wanted it, as she wanted it. She was free to go anywhere she wanted and they had to always obey her commands and heed her requests as long as she was not endangering her life. Her jailors as Caroline called them were not only there to protect her, follow her and report to him. They were there to also serve her. To treat her like a Queen and to please her in any way she wanted. He wanted her to be as comfortable as luxury could make a person and to move around to his home in any way she wanted until she would feel it like her own.
So when Stefan had told him a few days ago that Caroline had taken a liking to his gardens he had been relieved to know that there were parts of his house that made her feel comfortable.
He had never thought she would find her way past the rose gate.
It was supposed to be locked but Rebekah always went there and just to spite him always left the gates wide open.
Caroline must have found her way there and given his orders no one had stopped Caroline from going there or even told her it was not allowed.
He turned around leaving Stefan and the terrified servants and guards behind him.
He had to reinforce the rose gate and make sure that not even Rebekah would be able to get there anymore. No matter the tantrums his sister would throw. He should have torn that place to the ground instead of turning it to a mausoleum because in truth this was what it was.
This would be the one and only place Caroline would not be allowed to enter. Why did she have to go there?
To go to the place he had buried Esther's bones?
He sighed and shook his head. She didn't know. This wasn't her fault. It was his.
And yet all thoughts vanished when he walked past the rose gate and listened to soft music and the chirping of Esther's birds.
When Klaus walked further into his mother's rose garden and reached the pergola with the birdcages he halted mid-stride.
There she was. Caroline.
At the bench where Esther used to sit. Between his mother's luxuriantly planted flowers.
At the place where he had the only fond memories of his mother. The only place where Esther Mikaelson had ever cared for him. Far away from Mikael's accusing and prying eyes. Far away from his father's abuse. There, where she held him and sang him lullabies when he was only but a child. Where she gave him his bird necklace and made him love her hummingbirds.
There in between the marble pillars with the vines and the roses wrapped around them was where Caroline was now sitting.
She had carried her guitar with her. She watched the birds and sang.
And all the poison he had inside evaporated and he only stared at her.
He didn't dare step outside the shadows. He stood underneath the leafy tunnel and let Caroline's beauty wash over him.
And instead of happiness and accomplishment, he felt…sad.
Caroline looked just as lovely and just as lonely as his mother used to do a long time ago.
Klaus realized that maybe this was why Caroline had found her place in this haunting place. Loneliness always called to loneliness even if it was nothing but an echo.
He would have to do better with Caroline. He would have to find a way to make her happy. To make her laugh.
This didn't have to be a prison for her and he would have to find a way to prove this to her. He would never gain her heart otherwise.
Because he had her in his domain but he didn't truly have her. He knew she only stayed because of her fear over Logan Fell and the vilest parts of him felt gratitude. Because at least in this way he could still keep her close to him. And now that she had fallen into his clutches he would never let her go. Having her so close, inhaling her perfume, waking up to know he could see her and knowing that every night he could still see her again was a blessing. One he didn't know he would appreciate so much. Caroline was beautiful and she was his and he could now wait knowing that one way or another he would one day have more than just her presence.
But to do that he would have to tear down the walls that kept him at an arm's length. Their deal was only but a chance. He would have to fight for her. He would have to gain a real chance with her.
Caroline wanted him. There were parts of hers that wanted him. And one day he would sneak up in her heart and he would have her body and soul even if there were parts of her that he had to stifle. He knew she still desired freedom. He knew she still wanted unrestrained independence and he could give her everything but that.
He wanted her loyalty, her trust, her devotion…her love. He knew he was unable to return her love but he would give her everything else she asked of him. He could give her safety and passion and desire and the whole world. When she would accept him and when she would settle to this life he would show her the world. He would take her to places she had only imagined and dreamed of.
She would be far more than the mistress of the King. She would be his one and only. His one and only weakness. He would give her the keys of his Kingdom and he would give her as much power as he could give to anyone. If only she wanted it…if only she wanted him.
He decided to get out of his hiding spot and was careful not to startle Caroline.
He hated seeing her in this place but he realized he didn't have the heart to keep this place away from her if this was where she wanted to be.
This was her house after all too now. If this was where she wanted to be then so be it.
He frowned when he heard the lyrics of the old song Caroline was mumbling.
...
Songbird in a golden cage [2]
She'd prefer the blue
...
He stilled and listened more as Caroline played the guitar and he pressed his lips realizing how much he hated that song. It irritated him for some reason. As did this place. He truly wanted to take Caroline away from here and never look back.
...
How I crave the liquor of her song
She shall be my prisoner her life long
...
Caroline had noticed his presence as he came and sat by her side at the marble bench and he waited until her fingers stilled on the strings.
...
My songbird wants her freedom
...
He took out his jacket and gently placed it over her shoulders when he saw the shiver that ran through her body and yet Caroline didn't react. She kept watching Esther's birds in their cages with sadness and he felt as if she was miles away. She was closer than ever and yet so far away.
He followed her gaze curiously. The hummingbirds were cooing and Caroline was still lost in their sounds as if they sang to her in the same way she liked to sing.
"What's in your mind sweetheart?"
"Some birds are not meant to be caged," she only said.
She was so close and yet so far away and the longing he felt only grew bigger.
Klaus sat at the corner of the bar watching her. Like he used to do when he was chasing her and was trying to make her give him a chance. Like he used to do when she sat at Esther's garden and sang the same song over and over again and he pretended that it meant nothing when it had meant everything.
Caroline hadn't seen him entering the club and she was absorbed in her singing and it was okay. All he needed today was just one more song.
He lowered his head and remembered the song she used to sing when he had first brought her to his home.
She had seen right through him. She had seen right through his madness and his desire to put her in a gilded cage and pretend it was for her own good when in reality he had been nothing but selfish and treated her as if she was nothing but a possession.
...
My songbird wants her freedom…Now don't you think I know [2]
But I can't find it in myself
To let my songbird go
I just can't let her go
...
Those old lyrics mixed with the ones that Caroline now sang and Klaus raised his head and his eyes found her again.
No. Caroline was not his or anyone's possession.
It was the other way around and he had been too blind to see it. Caroline Forbes had managed to possess him entirely. She possessed his heart, his thoughts, his entire sense of self and redefined him in a way no other had been able to ever do.
So now the only thing he wanted was one more song.
Just one.
Caroline's voice filtered through his memories and thoughts, her melody a bullet straight to the heart.
…Oh, darling, please don't you cry…You and me, at the dark end of the street
…You and me.
This time her eyes found him and she smiled.
She sang at him. She sang for him.
This song belonged to him and this time it was not taken. It was not coerced or part of a deal.
This time it was freely given.
By the time they walked outside the club the night was chilly. Dark had fallen and some of the street lamps flickered.
The streets outside the club couldn't be safer. If anything this was the safest place in Chicago now. No one would dare cause any problems here anymore. It should be a soothing realization but instead Klaus felt as if this part of his domain had turned to an eerie ghost city.
Caroline's efforts to restore the club took time but she was almost done. Klaus didn't miss how she had created a web of impregnable security around the club for several blocks surrounding the area and even installed cameras everywhere. Not even Rebekah had gone to such lengths for her clubs in Detroit but Caroline gave those places a whole security makeover too.
It took him a while to realize that Caroline had created a shoot first ask questions later policy when it came to the safety of the establishments she considered herself responsible for. At this rate, she would eventually create a worst reputation when it came to being paranoid than the one he had. Not that it was unfounded. After the shooting Caroline had changed her tune when it came to the measures of protection she would have to take.
It saddened him a bit.
She used to be a far more free spirit. Now she was cautious.
She had become a dangerous combination. She was not without mercy but she was also ruthless. He wondered if she would be able to balance that dichotomy in the long run or it would end up tearing her apart.
Klaus discreetly placed his hand over his chest. Just there. In the inner pocket of his jacket. Two envelops. Practically weightless. And yet he felt as if the weight he carried was more than a ton. He could barely keep up.
Klaus felt his skin heating up despite the cold wind that embraced him and Caroline once they got out of Loup Noir.
His hand dropped to his side. It was about to rain he thought distractedly while Caroline kept talking about how much work they still had to do before the grand opening.
Klaus watched down when Caroline laced her fingers with his. Thanks to her he was not that unused to human comfort and the human touch but sometimes it still felt like a new thing for him.
He smiled when he felt the calluses on her fingers. She had spent so many hours playing with the strings of her guitar lately.
…
Chicago
October 2014
When Caroline entered Klaus' private parlor he was already sitting in one of the armchairs near the fireplace. He was engrossed in the book he was currently reading but Caroline could tell he knew she had gotten in the room despite how she had moved silently on her toes. She could never sneak up on him no matter how much she would try. He was always on alert. He always felt her. But she was also one of the few people he allowed to enter this place and she was glad to see him so at ease with her presence.
Truth was that she had started to love this place. It had become a sanctuary for her too. Here no prying eyes were watching. Here she was not the crime boss' kept woman. Here she was just Caroline and here the terrible Niklaus Mikaelson was not that terrible.
Seeing Klaus relaxed and comfortable was something she hadn't expected to like so much. Seeing him like this made her see him under another light. He looked almost normal. There were no lines of tension in his face. The dangerous smirks and the darkness of the cruel crime lord were gone. All that was left was the man underneath and she was starting to really like that guy.
She slowly walked closer and stood by his chair. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder trying to both annoy him and see what he was reading.
Which of course was a poem collection book.
From the sideways glance, she gave him she saw the amused hint of a smile that appeared on his lips at her shenanigans.
He said nothing as she leaned over more, her hair getting in his face, practically forcing him to stop reading.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by," [3] Caroline read out loud and Klaus finished Frost's poem for her, his eyes on her instead of the page.
"…And that has made all the difference."
Caroline turned her head slightly. Their lips were so close. The air electrified instantly. It was not uncomfortable. It was magnetic. Charged in ways that made her curl her toes in anticipation. Klaus' eyes burned and she did not mind the tension that arose between them at all. She loved seducing him. She loved when he sought her kisses. Flirting with Klaus was giving her as much pleasure as she was getting when he was chasing after her. It was more than foreplay. She loved seeing what turned him on, what made him tick. It made her feel powerful to know she held such power over him. She had never felt that way before. She was always the one falling for guys and not the other way around and now she felt coveted and appreciated.
Every woman should feel that way she thought.
She slanted closer intent on kissing him. Or at least so he thought because what she truly wanted was to snatch the book out of his hands.
And so she did making him narrow his eyes at her as she jumped up and put some distance between them holding the book as a stolen prize she wasn't planning on returning.
"Caroline-"
She beamed at him and he slowly rose from his chair.
"Love," he warned her and her brows rose provocatively.
"Yeah yeah," Caroline mocked him and hid the book behind her back making sure Klaus wouldn't be able to get it back, " you and your pretentious poetry and reading," she sassed with a roll of her eyes and Klaus' dimples made an appearance.
It started slowly. Leisurely. Their game of cat and mouse as they began moving in tandem circling his chair. Klaus tilted his head at her and she imitated his move in a challenge making his smile grow wider.
"Are you calling me a…snob sweetheart?"
Caroline grinned and was quick on her feet when he tried to grab her. He barely missed her when she leapt away and laughed at him. He had stealth but she was agile. She could keep this up for hours.
"Sure," she shrugged and when he tried to catch her again she chucked the book away.
Klaus looked horrified as the book made a couple of twirls in the air before it fell on the floor with the pages crinkling.
"No appreciation for the classics," he grumbled and Caroline stuck out her tongue at him.
Klaus actually tried to get to his precious book and she blocked his way with her body.
He eyed her from head to toe, slowly, making her shiver.
"Said the founder of our book club," she told him in a playful tone and she could see that despite the fact that he was undressing her with his eyes he was also trying not to laugh at her antics, "who would have thought," she dramatically lamented and placed her hand on her heart with flair, "Klaus Mikaelson…tormented poet slash artist slash mobster."
Klaus took a step forward. She took a step backward. A dance of sorts. She yelped when Klaus faster than she could predict got hold of her hand and twirled her around as if they were in the middle of a dance. Her body collided against his and she held on to his arms. She had to stretch her neck back to look into his eyes as he bent his whole body forward. She breathed in, he kept her close. It felt intense.
"You wound me," Klaus played along and Caroline chuckled happily. She loved it when he was in a good mood like this and the more she glimpsed at this side of him the more she was starting to fall for him.
"You'll live," she jested and Klaus's hand moved up until he wrapped a stray lock of her hair around his finger.
"You know love…I have killed people for less," he drawled and Caroline gave him a fake look of terror.
"You don't say!" she quipped and she knew she shouldn't be joking like this when in truth what Klaus said was true but somehow she couldn't help it.
Klaus' eyes lit up.
"Seriously," Caroline huffed exasperated, "no matter how much I like your 'classics' I…we…need a break. To unwind a bit."
Klaus arched his eyebrow intrigued.
"So if you are fed up with my pretentious poetry what do you propose?"
His voice was husky and filled with promises. She swallowed down hard. She swore that his voice was magic. Maybe it was the accent. Maybe it was the way his tone could drop down at least an octave.
Klaus could seduce the devil should he want it. And all it would take was that damn accent. That curl of his red lips.
And despite the fact that his voice right now was the definition of temptation she breathed deeply and pushed away the sinful thoughts and him with them. Just a bit to be able to think clearly.
She had other plans for tonight.
"Well," she slowly said, clearing her throat to release some of the tension she felt before she bit her lip, "tonight I say we mix our arts."
Klaus gave her a cautious look when she took his hand in hers and started observing his fingers and the structure of his palm.
"I am going to teach you," she proposed and then glanced at the guitar she had left in one of the corners of the room earlier today.
When Klaus realized what she intended to do his eyes popped open. He yanked his hand away and Caroline tried not to laugh at his horrified look.
"Absolutely not!" Klaus shut her down and he actually lifted his hands on the air in actual terror as he stepped back making her shake her head at the comical way he reacted.
Who would have thought!
He wasn't afraid when people aimed guns at him but this actually brought him actual dread.
"Come on now!" Caroline laughed and grabbed him by the arm and started pushing him closer to the guitar while he kept resisting.
"No!"
"I take your defense lessons like a soldier," Caroline complained and pushed him harder closer to the musical instrument, "Man up Klaus!"
"No."
His tone made his refusal sound more like 'Hell, NO!" to her ears and she stopped trying to force him.
She stood in front of him and put her hands on her waist. They stared at each other and Klaus wasn't backing down.
She sighed and pouted but he still held his ground.
So it was time to pull out the big guns Caroline thought and she gave him her sweetest look. The one she had realized he couldn't fight against. Whenever she used that one on him Klaus could never deny her anything.
"Please."
Klaus pressed his lips annoyed. Caroline could see that he knew what she was doing but that didn't stop her from turning the intensity of her gaze higher.
"No," Klaus grumbled but he was not so steady as before.
Caroline carefully approached him and ran her hands up and down his Henley. Klaus tensed and she started playing with one of his necklaces giving him a shy look.
"Pretty please?" she playfully asked him again and this time she even batted her eyelashes for him.
Klaus sighed and she smiled at him. He wasn't turning her down anymore.
"For me?" she tried again and Klaus' shoulders fell.
"I know what you are doing," he huffed and she arched her brow.
"Is it working?" she meaningfully asked and when his shoulders slumped she almost pumped her fist up in the air.
"No one finds out," he warned her with a dark look and Caroline let out a happy sound and hugged him.
"I mean it Caroline!" Klaus grunted.
"I promise!" she rushed to assure him and then jumped up and down in excitement clapping her hands making him roll his eyes as he completely gave in to her.
Caroline took him by the hand and despite his reluctance, he followed her.
He watched as Caroline took the guitar in her hands and seriously looked at him. He narrowed his eyes at her when he saw how she was trying not to laugh.
"So lesson one," she started seriously, "these are called strings."
Klaus clicked his tongue at her gibe.
"You are not funny, love."
Caroline only gave him a cheeky grin.
.
.
Days later
"No no!" Caroline yelled, "you are not allowed to break my guitar!"
Klaus actually growled! He growled at her.
"I'll buy you a new one!"
"That's not the point!" Caroline exclaimed incredulously and Klaus gave her an intimidating glare.
"You do understand I may need to shoot something after we are done here don't you?"
Caroline sighed looking upwards making a conscious effort to not roll her eyes at him. His murderous expression would have sent anyone running for their lives right about now but his frustration didn't scare her at all.
"Don't be dramatic!" she scoffed but then no matter how much she tried she couldn't help but cringe at one more of Klaus' efforts to play the tune she showed him.
Much to his credit, he kept trying. But he really was an impatient student and despite being an artist himself when it came to painting he couldn't even grasp the basics when it came to playing the guitar.
Klaus' hands dropped from the strings and he cursed. Caroline cleared her throat trying to not burst out laughing.
"I am hopeless," Klaus groaned and this was probably the first time Caroline saw him giving up. He was usually so persistent and suave but she had never seen him doing something he wasn't good at. Klaus was usually perfect at whatever he did and seeing him failing on something so mundane and normal made her Caroline laugh but was a laugh of joy and understanding.
"I wouldn't say that," she softly told him and kissed him.
"I would," Klaus muttered in a boyish tone and Caroline caressed the nape of his neck making sure to thread her fingers comfortingly around his hair.
She then turned serious, her gaze locking with his. He looked so human at that moment. Innocent even. He held nothing back. And Caroline felt something inside her melt. Maybe it was the obstacles she had created to keep herself from falling for him.
The only thing she knew was that when he was like this falling for him wasn't the worst thing that could happen to her.
When he was like this she could even… love him.
"No you are not," she whispered sincerely.
The abrupt change of her mood made Klaus watch her confused, "I have seen more sides of you," Caroline confessed and she was grateful that Klaus kept those sides for her and showed them to her. Sometimes she felt as if she was the only person in the world he shared these parts of his heart with. As if it was only her that could bring out his human side. But that side was there. Buried underneath all the hate and the cruelty and the murder. She wasn't using it as an excuse for what she was starting to feel for him. She knew who Klaus was. That would never change. But if there was still humanity inside him then he was still capable of love and anyone capable of love was capable of being saved, "there's still hope for you yet," she promised him and somehow she knew he needed to hear this from her.
Klaus went absolutely still. He didn't dare to even breathe.
And she only smiled at him. She encouraged him to open up. There was no need for any words between them in that moment.
So Caroline waited. She waited until he smiled too. It was a tentative smile but it was one of the best he had ever given her.
One she would cherish. No matter what would happen between them. No matter where their story would lead them. That smile she'd take with her.
"Well maybe not for the guitar though," Caroline teased pushing the offending instrument away from him and her heart soared at his carefree laughter.
...
Darling don't cry tonight for me...
We have to pay for the love we stole...it's a sin and you know it's wrong...
...Darling our love...our love will carry on...
...
Caroline kept talking about the club opening next week but Klaus barely heard her now. His steps slowed down till he stopped walking. He detached his hand from hers.
Caroline frowned when she realized Klaus had stopped walking.
Her eyes darted around trying to see if there was a reason as to why he stopped moving. They were alone outside the club. It was night. Their men were in the distance and the car was parked a few meters away. The driver was behind the wheel. There was no threat.
Caroline's brows bunched together and she stared at him questioningly. Wondering what was wrong. If he had forgotten something. Or remembered something.
Klaus looked at her. As if he was seeing her for the first time. As if he wanted to commit the way she looked under the dim light of the streetlamp in memory.
He kept his features expressionless.
"We can have as many grand openings you want Caroline. It won't change what happened that night," he simply said and took note of the way Caroline sucked in a breath.
They had agreed not to talk about the shooting ever again unless it was to remind their enemies why they should never cross them and what happened to those that did.
Klaus saw the way Caroline stiffened and how she immediately erected her walls. He had taught her that. How not to crack under pressure. How to keep her composure. And now her walls had risen high. High enough so no one would be able to enter into her mind and heart. So she would not be defenseless. So she would be safe. So she would not betray anything.
Only she should have known better. There was no such thing as safe. She chose to lead a life that flirted with death and death was never safe. Neither was life.
Klaus smiled and peered at the club behind them.
"You can tear this place down and built it back brick by brick," he pointed out with a deceptively soft voice before he turned his attention back to her.
He bestowed her an intense gaze that left her vulnerable under his scrutiny and he knew his next words would hurt her. He'd have to pour salt on her wounds. He would have to re-open them. They would not heal otherwise. He had to cut her open again. It was the only way for her to expel the poison out. She'd have to bleed. And burn. And hate. Anything would be better than what she had been doing. "Stefan won't come back to life. Kol will still be dead," he cruelly said and saw the way Caroline blanched before her cheeks turned red with anger and disbelief.
"What is this?" she bit out through clenched teeth and Klaus gave her an unforgiving smile. He prowled closer to her and Caroline tensed.
"Logan Fell will remain dead," he pushed more making Caroline cast him a warning glare. Telling him with her eyes to stop talking, "so will Vaughn," he added knowing that just Galen's name would set her off.
Caroline froze and Klaus waited. She took in a harsh breath and kept it in. Her gaze became a pool of darkness. An unspoken protest at what he was doing.
He stepped in front of her till his breath warmed her face.
"And none of what happened was your fault."
Caroline swallowed hard and the expression of her face turned venomous.
"Don't."
Her warning sounded like a threat. And Klaus knew that Caroline's threats were never empty. Not anymore.
"You've played hide and seek with the truth long enough Caroline," he admonished her, not giving her any room to deny this or defy him, "this game ends tonight."
Caroline's eyes turned to slits at the scathing finality of his statement.
"If this is one more of your stupid lessons-"
"This is me trying to help you," Klaus practically growled but when he grasped her arms his voice turned to a gentle plead, "let me."
Caroline detached her arms from his hold.
"You can't."
His tone was devoid of anything warm. It was cold. Sharp. Unfeeling.
Klaus ran his hand through his hair in a frustrated move. Her stubbornness that used to be one of her most enticing and challenging traits was now killing him. It was killing her.
"Why won't you even try sweetheart?"
"What do you think I've been doing the last months?" Caroline hissed at him. She looked offended and hurt but Klaus knew this to be a façade. One she had been perfecting for months.
"Losing yourself," he simply pointed out, "and I stood by letting it happen because this is who I am. Selfish. But I can't be that with you," he mumbled before he added slowly, "not you."
Caroline exhaled tiredly.
"Let's just go home," she proposed trying to pacify him and he gave her a spiteful chuckle that actually made her flinch.
"Home?" he laughed taunting her, "really?"
"Klaus-"
"Having nowhere else to go won't make this place your home," he mocked her and Caroline pursed her lips.
"This is what it's all about?" she exclaimed, "I didn't mean-"
"Don't lie."
His harsh order made her stop at once. His firm tone was one of pure intimidation and Klaus saw how Caroline faltered. She knew him. She knew he would not allow her to lie or manipulate the truth. He wouldn't allow her to lie by omission and dodge the subject either.
She was growing angrier and more frustrated by the moment.
He was pushing her to a dead end and there was no way out of that dark end but the truth. No matter how much she would resist or struggle against it. There was no other way out.
Caroline's vulnerable eyes almost made him give in.
He refused to do so. Caroline had a gentle heart. Allowing her to turn it to a block of ice would not be one of the sins he would commit in this life.
"Tell me the truth," he demanded. His voice was laced in menace. A clear indication that his patience was wearing thin but underneath it there was nothing but despair. It was creeping into his heart like a shadow. He had to get through her. He had to make her open up.
Caroline looked at the pavement. Her eyes were lost. It was as if the world started and ended at their feet.
"Tell me," Klaus insisted wanted to shake those terrible walls of her mind that locked him out.
"Caroline."
He only spelled out her name. It was an order.
It was pointless for her to deny him.
"It is my fault," Caroline finally cracked with a weak mutter and it was a good thing that all of Klaus' senses were focused on her because her whisper was so low that he had to strain his hearing to actually make out what she said.
Klaus waited. He waited for her to look up. To look at him. But Caroline stubbornly kept her head lowered and Klaus wondered if this was nothing else but a sign of shame.
"You can say it wasn't but it was," she mumbled, her voice faltering as if she was trying to breathe under pressure, "they used me against you. I was nothing but dead weight. And your brother died."
Caroline finally lifted her gaze and Klaus saw the pained look she gave him. It made him ache.
"Kol is dead because of me," she whispered, her shoulders slumping down under the weight of guilt.
"No love."
His voice was incredibly soft but Caroline only swallowed the knot that was blocking her throat's airway.
"You will hate me," she said with so much certainty and conviction that Klaus blinked in shock. "Sooner or later you will realize it's my fault and you'll hate me."
Klaus' lips twisted in anger at her words. He shook his head in incredulity. He couldn't believe she felt like this.
He moved closer to her but Caroline moved her head from right to left refusing to look at him as she stepped back trying to stop him reaching out to her.
He pushed through her absurd denial and her defenses.
His hands framed her face, almost aggressively, not allowing her to move away from him. He forced her to look at him.
"You listen to me," he implored her but his voice was steady and unyielding leaving no room for misinterpretation or doubt, "this isn't your fault. It never was," he fervently declared and then his tone turned dark, "this is my family's destiny, Caroline. Death will come to us all sooner or later," he solemnly adumbrated, "you entering my life did not cause this," he insisted with a somber voice before he gave her a bitter smile, "if anything it was the other way around."
Caroline remained silent. She didn't seem as if she believed him but she looked at him as if she wanted to believe him. She was trying to hold on to hope. Her eyes were big on her face. Their color became almost transparent. There was a battle raging inside her and Klaus was afraid of the outcome.
She looked down again and only stole a glance at him before she pushed his hands down and stepped back.
His hands fell to the sides as if he was trying to hold on to a shadow he couldn't touch or hold on to.
"I don't think this is the right place or time to talk about this," Caroline said creating a storm of hopelessness inside him.
He had done this. He had done this to her. This was his fault and Caroline had it the other way around. One day she would realize this was his fault and she would be the one to hate him. God, knew he hated himself.
Caroline turned around starting to walk away. He didn't move. The world started and ended in that moment. Everything led to this.
"When I told you I love you," he called after her, the words slipping out without restraint, "I meant it."
Caroline halted.
Time stopped.
Her back was still turned on him but he saw how she stiffened. Her shoulders tensed. She didn't move.
He knew this was the only way to hold on to her. He couldn't expect her to give him the truth if he wasn't ready to do the same. He couldn't expect her to be fearless and tore down her walls if he didn't do it first, "I still do."
Caroline turned around slowly. She watched him with wide eyes and this time he concealed nothing from her.
"I do," he repeated, not taking his eyes away from hers.
He loved her.
He opened his heart for her. Right there. Bare and vulnerable for the entire world to see. He had nothing left inside him to manipulate. All the coldness he had encased his heart in, through the black years of Mikael's and Esther's abuse and over his own journey of destruction and pain, started thawing. Caroline's light had melted the worst of his darkness away leaving only brutal sincerity and harsh honesty because his love was exactly that. Harsh and honest and true and he knew Caroline deserved better.
He would make sure she'd get it.
Caroline's lungs seized and that gave him the opportunity to saunter close to her.
His knuckles grazed over her cheek and she closed her eyes letting out a soft sigh that made him smile. A long time ago giving her a love declaration would have resulted in a hostile rejection but now there were parts of her that craved it. That wanted his love. That wanted him. And he was tempted to let her have all that was left of him. But what was left of him wasn't enough.
"But love isn't enough," he told her making her snap her eyes open again, "it is not a remedy. It is not an excuse either."
He let her go and Caroline stumbled back feeling as if she was thrown completely off balance.
"I don't understand," she uttered confused.
Klaus Mikaelson loved her. He loved her.
And yet…it wasn't enough.
So he said.
His words were a contradiction. Klaus watched her lovingly. There was adoration in the way his eyes penetrated the shield she had created around her heart. But something violent was breaking down inside him. She could feel it. It was collapsing. And shattering. And Caroline was afraid of where that destruction would leave them.
Klaus was dismantling all of her expectations and what made their relationship work.
He loved her.
He loved her enough to tell her. To admit it. To let himself be vulnerable.
Klaus Mikaelson that believed love to be the greatest weakness for creatures like him loved her and was not afraid to tell her.
Deep down she always knew. From the first moment, he had said it she knew. But having him confess it now made her feel unsteady.
Why did this feel like condemnation instead of setting both of them free?
She didn't know what to make of this. What to make of him. Why was he doing this tonight? Why now?
Why couldn't he just be happy?
She had given him everything. He got what he wanted. She was going to stay by his side. Why was he ruining this?
'Why?' a little voice whispered in her head, 'because he loves you.'
Why did she feel as if his love was bringing ruination to them both?
She looked into his eyes and her body clenched.
She didn't understand but something told her to make this stop. She frantically tried to put an end to this but she knew deep down it was pointless.
"Klaus if you love me," she started as she felt panic coming in through every direction, "don't do this."
She didn't know what this was but all she knew was that she was being thrown from the scorching heat of his confession to the inhuman iciness of what seemed to be really painful. That pain was coming her way. He was directing that pain straight into her heart. Like a bullet. And she knew that all the pain she had tried so hard to avoid feeling would now crash her. And this was what Klaus wanted. To make her feel. To force her to grieve. To have her face her demons.
She couldn't do this.
She wouldn't survive this.
She hadn't survived it when her mother had died and now she felt as if she was drowning because Klaus believed her to be strong enough to face her deepest fears. He had made her strong. Only so to do this to her now and she knew that him telling her that he loved her wasn't meant to soften the blow.
It was the blow.
Klaus stared her with so much love and sympathy that it soaked through her skin straight into her bones.
She opened her mouth again. No voice came out and Klaus' eyes filled with understanding. They turned glossy with something that resembled pity and Caroline hated him in that moment.
So fucking much. She hated him and Klaus saw it.
The need to beg him evaporated. She snapped herself out of that self-enforced misery. She forced the old insecurities that had come rushing to the surface to vanish back to oblivion.
It took remarkable restraint but she put a leash on the despair she felt. She wouldn't fall apart. She wasn't like that anymore. She wouldn't crumble down for a guy even if that guy was Klaus.
"So this is it?" she asked him and something twisted in her stomach when she saw Klaus' eyes water.
"I should have never let it come to this," he confessed and Caroline nodded in bitter understanding.
"Caroline I am-"
Her gaze cut into him. Sharp. Violent.
"Don't dare say you are sorry."
Klaus exhaled slowly.
"I regret no moment I spent with you," Klaus said calmly but his hands had turned to fists. Now that he had admitted what he felt it was as if he couldn't stop. The dam had broken. Everything came out. The flood wouldn't be contained, "I didn't think I was capable of feeling this way but I don't regret falling for you. I'll never stop loving you," he vowed.
Caroline's heart turned over. This wasn't fair.
He took a step forward. She took a step back as if him coming near her was not acceptable.
"I know you don't want to hear this."
"Then don't say it."
"You came to me and I took advantage of your fear," Klaus sighed and the guilt Caroline saw in his gaze was overwhelming.
There was a time she would have given everything for Klaus to come to this realization. To have him feel this way. To acknowledge his mistakes. To try to change them.
This was the best version of him.
But now that it happened it was too late. It was the wrong time. The wrong place. The wrong everything.
"You kept me safe Klaus," Caroline absolved him but Klaus gave her a crooked smile filled with self-reproach and solemn understanding.
"By asking you to give yourself to me," he reminded her and Caroline barely stopped herself from flinching but Klaus saw right through her. This time when he tried to come closer she let him. "I am not a good man Caroline," he told her and his large hands framed her face. "You know this. A good man would not have asked anything in return."
Caroline stared at him for a long moment. There under the broken street lamp. Under the flickering lights. His frame was immersed between light and shadow.
"What does that make me?" Caroline murmured softly and this time she poured everything she felt into the way she looked at him, at the way she reached for his wrists to hold his touch on her face and never allow it to let her go, "for loving you then?"
Klaus closed his eyes. He let her love declaration wash over him. Caroline felt him tremble and held his hands tighter. It was as if her words were both the remedy and the poison. He needed those words. He needed to hear her say she felt as he did. She knew he did and a part of her had wanted to deprive him of that. But she couldn't.
When Klaus opened his eyes again Caroline saw how he wanted to keep her. To never let her go. That possessiveness in him promised there was no escape.
Only there was something even stronger than obsession and fear and possession in his eyes. Stronger, wiser, fierce. It battled with everything ugly he had inside him.
And won.
His touch was soft. Loving.
Klaus' fingers caressed her heated skin tenderly and then let her go, answering her question with a quiet voice.
"Good," he simply said and smiled wistfully.
"You asked me to care for you. To love you," Klaus reminded her and Caroline took in a deep breath realizing that this was him honoring her wish, "to put you first."
Above his crown. Above his Kingdom. Above everything he hated.
"But you can't," she realized sadly feeling empty.
That emptiness was growing leaving a hole. And it was only a matter of time for that hole to be filled again with everything she didn't want to feel but she couldn't stop the torrent of emotion. The pain. It felt like a punch in the gut.
It hurt.
Because she knew Klaus was now giving her a choice. A real choice. He was giving her the truth.
He was giving her what she had asked him to give her.
She wouldn't be able to stay after this. She wasn't so far gone to stay. No matter how much she wanted it to.
She could hear the slow pound of her heart in her ears.
Klaus looked defeated. It was a terrible thing to look at really. His shoulders had fallen. His face was drained of color but the blue of his eyes shone brighter than ever. It was like a dark stain over his pale features.
"I could try but it would not be enough," Klaus murmured and Caroline's anger returned with vengeance. It was as if he was telling her she was not worth fighting for. As if he wouldn't even put the effort for her. The man that always went to war was putting down his weapons losing the battle before he even gave it.
"I don't know if I am capable of giving you what you want," he accepted and Caroline watched him silently, "and even if I was you would still deserve better. Better than me," he softly said in a hushed tone.
"Fancy way of breaking up with me Klaus."
Her bitter response came with a hollow laugh and the sharp intake of breath Klaus' took told her she had not missed her mark. She could have simply called him a coward and it would have been the same.
"I-"
"You won't even try," she accused him in a lifeless voice and Klaus stared at her in a way as if he wanted to prove her wrong but he didn't.
She pressed her lips sourly.
The man that always put her first now called it quits. She wasn't his first choice anymore. She wasn't his priority. She wasn't enough.
Klaus pained look set the ache inside her ablaze and he sighed.
"This is me putting you first sweetheart," he tried to make her understand while also shutting down her insecurities firmly. It was as if he could hear her thoughts.
Caroline shook her head refusing to accept this but before she could walk away from him his hands dragged her close. She struggled to push him back but he held on to her and her body was not obeying as it should. She was seeking his comfort. His touch.
His hand went to her hair, his fingers tangling with her curls and he pushed her head back until she had no other choice than to face him. Than to lock her gaze with his.
And she hated what she saw in his eyes.
She hated the love and the care that she saw and she hated the fact that deep down she knew this wasn't Klaus being a coward. It was she that she was being one.
Because this was him being brave. Letting her go was going against every fiber of his being. It was going against all that that he was and against everything he believed in. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do. She knew it was and here he was. Doing it for her now that she couldn't do it herself.
"This is me setting you free," he told her and every word came out in a harsh whisper. It was devastation wrapped up in every word and it was him loving her enough to let her go.
…
Lord, I beg a gift I dare not claim [2]
…
His lips brushed against hers. Softly. Slowly. And Caroline knew this to be goodbye.
She let out a breath, a surge of a pained moan that wouldn't come. Not when his lips touched hers like that. Reverently. Delicately.
Her eyes fluttered and closed. She swallowed down deeply, arching her whole body against him. His fingers dug painfully in her hair.
Their closeness hurt her the most. This would be the last time they would be like that.
A shudder traveled down her spine, making her go numb when Klaus' hands moved over her back and brought her closer. He pressed her against his body and she reached for him in the same way he did.
Caroline pushed back every thought and gave in to emotion. If this was their farewell she would make it count. She poured her heart into it. Her very soul. If this was their last memory she'd make it so none of them would ever forget. She'd made it so this kiss would haunt them both.
She grabbed fists of his leather jacket, twisting the fabric in her hands making it groan in her fingers. Everything disappeared around them. The world stilled and they became the only axis in the madness. Their kiss became hungry. Desperate. Electric. They devoured each other with every stroke of the tongue, with every movement of their mouth, with every second of losing themselves in each other.
They sank deeper into that kiss, breathless, savoring the moment, sharing one breath.
This was goodbye.
And it lasted as forever would last. As a whole life of them together would last. All in a moment.
And then the hunger turned to a dull ache. It slowed down and they slowed down with it. Their lips stopped moving. Their bodies heaved until they stopped moving.
Klaus didn't move and she didn't move either. They kept their eyes closed making the moment stretch and expand.
She didn't want to let go.
Klaus reluctantly pulled back and when she opened her eyes she found him staring back at her. His eyes were shining. His lips were swollen. He was trying to breathe. To breathe her in.
His body tightened and his hands fell to the side when her fists unclenched and she let go of his jacket and him with it.
The stood there. Staring at each other. Their bodies only an inch away.
And it was her that took the first step back. One step.
One more.
Klaus looked as if he was made from stone. A statue rooted on the spot. Fighting a thousand battles in his mind and heart. Struggling to keep his word.
To let her go.
…
To let my songbird go
…
'He is really letting me go," Caroline realized and reality dawned on her.
This was really goodbye. After tonight she'd be on her own. Without him.
She'd be…free.
She'd have no one. No one but herself.
She'd be alone.
Her eyes filled with tears.
She had asked him this. And now she felt so utterly lost. So torn apart.
Her whole body hurt. Her heart hurt. She had to turn around and leave. To keep her dignity for as long as she had one.
"Caroline."
Her name in his lips felt like both her curse and her remedy.
And then he smiled a kind smile.
He smiled and her eyes filled with tears.
"There is a whole world waiting for you," he promised her.
Caroline gulped down trying to calm her frantic heart that kept beating faster and faster. Her anxiety was taking over. This moment was out of her control as was the future Klaus promised her now.
The world seemed huge and terrifying and she'd have to navigate it alone. She didn't know where to start. She didn't know what to do.
But Klaus' voice was soft and soothing and reminded her of all the things she had forgotten. It conquered her fears and Caroline remembered a time when she had wanted this. She had wanted to let go of Mystic Falls and Logan Fell's ghost. She had wanted to let go of her nightmares and the pain of losing her mother and travel.
She had wanted to re-invent herself. To sing and laugh and dance. To spread her wings and fly.
And when she did all that each flap of her wings brought her to Klaus and now she didn't know how to fly without him.
Or maybe she had spent so long in his gilded cage that she had become weary of the world outside the bars.
Or maybe she had become acquainted with the darkness of the world and now that darkness would still call for her and she'd be devoured by it without Klaus by her side. He had shown her the ropes. He had armed her. He was now letting her go to be both the hunter and the prey in this very big scary world.
Only now she could be scarier.
They both knew it. And the world was waiting to find it out too.
Klaus took one tentative step closer. One more. She let him even though now each step was taking them further apart rather than bringing them closer.
It felt bittersweet. They had shared their last kiss. They had shared their last moment.
They now counted time backward.
Klaus' eyes darkened.
"This life…this darkness," he warned her and Caroline stilled when she realized how transparent she was with him, "it is part of you now but you are much more than that."
Caroline gave him a measured look but it didn't deter Klaus that saw both the darkness and the light in her and through his eyes, she saw both too. It was as if she was trying to stand on two boats at once.
She was off balance and Klaus had been her anchor.
She didn't know where the scale would lean over now but Klaus seemed to have faith in her.
The darkness slowly faded from Klaus' gaze and now his eyes bathed her with all the things she had loved about him. With the honesty she craved. And with the way, he always looked at her as if she was the only thing that existed in the world.
"You are strong, beautiful. Full of light," he smiled gently while making her remember who she was and what she believed in before all of this ever happened; and then he turned serious again, "but this is still your choice to make. For yourself. You are not ignorant or naïve Caroline. You know where this leads. You know the price. I can't tell you which way to follow. This has to be on you."
His words spread inside her like embers that kept rising to flame. They warmed her from the inside out and burned all the anger and the pain and the sorrow.
It was in that moment she truly realized why Klaus was doing this and it broke her heart only to mend it again.
Sometimes it only took one look to see the truth. Sometimes it was not what the words said but what you saw in someone. If you truly looked.
Actions spoke louder than words and sometimes what was left unsaid was what mattered the most.
She held on to what he said but most of all she held on to the connection between them. It had grown strong and most of all honest and no matter how much she had tried to cover what she truly felt with distractions Klaus had seen what she had missed.
This was his last lesson.
She couldn't enter his world without standing tall on her own first. She couldn't live like this.
She couldn't become what she had tried to become for him or for what he owed to others.
This had to be her own choice and that had nothing to do with him or them.
Caroline let out the breath she was holding.
Klaus for the first time in their relationship understood what she used to know in her heart and what she had forgotten so now he reminded her just that.
Love was sacrifice.
And sometimes when one couldn't the other one would have to be the better half. To be selfless. To light the way.
And she had lost hers.
She couldn't be mad with him no matter how much she tried. How could she really be mad at him when this is all what she had ever wanted from him? For him to care for her enough to even let her go of it came down to it.
And now it came down to it.
She loved him too. She wanted him. But there was no middle ground in the life he was leading and in the life, she had stepped into.
It had become toxic. She had felt it too but ignored it. But Klaus never ignored anything. Never missed anything. She couldn't hide from him.
She had retreated into herself and lost herself in his lessons. She had tried to adapt to his world. To not care for the price she'd have to pay. She had tried to persevere in any way. To smile through the numbness she had forced herself into. She had believed it would have been enough to keep her going. She believed her smile would be enough to make Klaus look the other way.
Only it was a façade and Klaus saw right through it.
And he knew that the person she used to be when she had come to him asking for his protection would never accept this. And when he had offered his protection he had offered to protect that woman and not the shade she had become and this was what he was doing now.
This was his protection still. A tremendous gift.
Caroline watched him almost in awe and Klaus inclined his head giving her a knowing look.
There was an understanding between them now. It unburdened her heart.
Klaus was still putting her first. She was being his first choice. He was giving her what she needed.
It opened her eyes to the truth but most of all it unlocked her heart.
"Whatever choice you make Caroline... have no regrets," Klaus urged her and they both knew this was something she would have to face on her own, "but remember that now you are free. There is nothing holding you back," he gave her his word and no matter how much it hurt it also took the weight of the world off her shoulders. It replaced it with another kind. One that Caroline had to learn to live with now, "and… there is so much beauty in the world. Genuine beauty," he coaxed her, his voice a whispering vow of a thousand promises and dreams, "you deserve to have it all."
Caroline found herself smiling at that.
This was her chance for healing.
She couldn't do this with Klaus. She had to do it on her own.
And the way Klaus watched her now showed to her that he didn't see her as a broken thing he needed to fix. He saw her as a person he needed to set free so she'd find her own way.
If there was anyone that would fix her that was her.
Caroline finally nodded, silently giving him her word that she would do exactly that. There were no words that she needed to say for Klaus to understand and she saw the pain that reflected in his eyes.
He knew that now she would leave and would not look back either. Not until she would find herself away from him.
And maybe he should do the same too. He had changed too after all. She had changed him in the same way he had changed her.
A few years ago and he would have never let her go. He would have stifled her and would have dug his claws deep not caring if she'd wither and break standing by his side.
Now the man that stood against her was better than that. And he had to learn how to live without her too. He had to find a way to heal too. He had to face his fears too. His loneliness. His love for her when she would not be there.
She loved him too.
But love was not always enough. Not when it could so easily turn to poison for them both and at least they loved each other enough to not let that happen.
It remained an unspoken truth between them and it hurt. So much it hurt.
And maybe Klaus couldn't care for her more than the things he hated or the things that mattered to him when it came to his power but he cared enough to give her best chance and she cared enough to let him go too.
Because she had changed in ways that terrified her. If she stayed they'd end up being toxic for each other. It'd hurt more than anything should hurt. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.
Their timing was wrong it would seem. None of them had wanted to admit this but maybe they were not ready for each other. Or at least the people they had turned out to be were not.
But maybe. If they tried. If they both tried hard enough those they'd end up being somewhere along the way if they were lucky enough would have another chance. If the time was right. If they were meant to be. If their choices led them there. Perhaps. Maybe.
Until then she had to let him go too because she wasn't good for him either. Not like this. Not by losing herself and becoming half of who she was could be. She could not be dependent on him and building her character on him or any man for that matter. She couldn't be with him while changing so fundamentally when her moral compass had been for so long utterly without a true North and had broken in pieces.
She had to fix that and fix herself because if the broken pieces were not glued back together by herself she'd end up being something beyond repair. And one day Klaus would blame himself for her mistakes and maybe she'd end up blaming him too. None of them would be able to live this way.
They observed each other and Caroline looked around. She'd have to start somewhere. She'd have to put the past and Klaus behind her. For now.
She had endless possibilities ahead.
"One last thing love," Klaus said and Caroline felt the deep pain in the tone of his voice and watched him as he took out two envelopes from the inner pocket of his jacket.
Klaus extended his hand at her and waited for her to take them. She glanced down at what he was giving her before she glanced up at him furrowing.
Caroline slowly took Klaus' gifts and under his sharp observation she opened the first envelope and blinked.
There was a ticket there. An airplane ticket. He had booked her a flight for Europe. France.
She stared at him not knowing what to say when Klaus gestured at the other envelope she also held.
With shaking hands, she opened that one too.
Another ticket. That one for Virginia.
For Mystic Falls.
Caroline watched dazedly at the tickets.
"I always wanted to take you to the places you dreamed of…Rome, Paris…Tokyo," Klaus confessed and the enchanting timbre of his voice sent sweet shivers of anticipation running up and down her body. She would have liked that. For him to show her the world, "but my life kept me bound to Chicago for most of the time," he sighed regretfully, "and you were not ready," Klaus told her, his eyes filled with something bittersweet and so eloquent that Caroline could read in the way he looked at her a thousand desires of what they could have done and what they didn't. "At least you were not ready to go with me," Klaus carried on and Caroline lowered her head. He was right. She wasn't. For a long time the only thing she had wanted was to hide from the world and not explore it. She had wanted to escape her past and Logan and she had wanted to escape her pain. "And I never wanted those new firsts for you to be something tainted," Klaus admitted and Caroline felt gratitude at his confession. There was no accusation in his words. Only acceptance and maybe regret for all the things they had missed.
"You always said you wanted to go to Europe," Klaus recalled and gestured at the ticket in her hand. The one that had France as its destination and Caroline could hear in his tone how much he would have loved to take her there. It was a longing so palpable it made her dream of them together in the streets of Paris but then Klaus pointed at the other ticket she held and that dream deflated and left her feeling nostalgic, "and a part of you always wanted to return home."
The word home brushed over in her mind and sent tingles of homesickness in her for the first time in years.
She had never told him she had missed home and yet he knew there was a part of her that would always dream of her mom and her old life. Even if she had outgrown Mystic Falls her roots were still planted there and sometimes called her back.
And maybe she'd choose to go home or go in the opposite direction. Either way Klaus was giving her the option to decide knowing how this would be a new beginning for her.
One she couldn't have if she stayed by his side.
Klaus wanted her to grow. He wanted her to be all that she could be without him holding her back or drowning her in his darkness. He wanted her to find her own darkness or her own light. He didn't want her to settle. He wanted her to find herself. Who she truly was. And she couldn't do this with him. And she couldn't do it here either.
She had to let go of Chicago too.
Both tickets weighted a ton in her hands. Each a life-changing decision, a heavy burden, and the key to set her free.
Klaus approached her and as he towered above her his shadow fell over her. It was this comfort, this intimacy, she was going to miss the most.
"It is your choice. It will always be your choice," he told her before he lowered his head down and kissed her forehead.
She closed her eyes. She breathed him in.
And then he was gone.
When Caroline opened her eyes again Klaus had left her.
She saw his frame walking away, not looking back. She knew if he looked back he would cave in and would not let her go. She knew him not turning back meant that he loved her and would never forget her.
Caroline ached to call him back. To run to him. To tell him not to leave. She ached for one more look. One last look. But she said nothing. She didn't move.
She stood still watching Klaus put more distance between them until he turned around the corner and he disappeared from her eyes leaving her standing alone outside Loup Noir holding two tickets in her hand. Having to make a choice. Having two paths ahead. Him being the one she had to leave behind.
Caroline struggled to remain still. She felt her eyes burn. She held the tickets close almost hugging them and tried not to break down under the feeling of Klaus' absence.
It was then that a car came and slowly stopped in front of her.
Caroline raised her head and let out a deep breath as the driver went out of his seat and came to open the door for her waiting for her to get in.
It was one of Klaus' men and he didn't comment on the state she was in. He only patiently waited. He had a kind look and Caroline allowed the numbness she felt to take over. She allowed instinct to drive her and her body took over. Before she knew it she had stepped into the backseat of the car.
The man gently closed the door behind her and went to resume his place behind the wheel as Caroline stared at the two tickets she gently placed on her knees.
Her eyes blurred.
This was a new start. No matter where she would choose to go these tickets were nothing but a starting point.
Klaus' parting gift. One more choice she would have to make. The first of many.
Through the tears that would not spill she smiled. Klaus had given her his protection and even though her freedom wasn't his to give he was still setting her free.
And freedom was a scary overwhelming thing. One that made her feel panic and terror and dread and excitement and anticipation. Freedom was an adventure and she had to believe this couldn't be the end.
This had to be a new beginning.
Caroline frowned when she realized that one envelope was heavier than the other despite how she had taken the tickets out of both of them.
Caroline turned the torn paper over and something heavy fell on her palm.
She gasped when she realized Klaus had put inside the one envelope the diamond bracelet he had given her the night of his birthday. Right before the shooting.
The last time she wore the bracelet on her wrist was when Kol died.
The symbols of the bracelet called to life and death intertwined and Caroline ran her fingers over the infinity pattern. Each design made circles that promised eternity and Caroline realized that maybe this was what she could hold on to.
She would have to hold on to the good memories and the bad. To remember. To let both guide her. And to decide what she would have to keep and what to let go.
Caroline gripped the bracelet tight and remembered the night Klaus had clasped it around her wrist.
Back then she hadn't realized what it represented exactly. Now she could see but most of all feel it.
Some things were forever. Like the infinity circles of the bracelet. Like what Klaus felt for her and what she felt for him.
Maybe their timing had been wrong.
But maybe one day they'd both be in the right place.
Perhaps in a year or even a month or …however long, it'd take.
"Where to ma'am?"
Caroline fastened the bracelet around her wrist and looked at the tickets before she glanced up and saw the driver's questioning gaze looking at her through his rear-view mirror.
She studied the tickets again. They blurred before she forced her tears back till the letters stopped dancing and came to sharp focus.
She exhaled slowly, closed her eyes and clarity eventually came.
Truth was that she knew exactly where she wanted to go even though in the end, it didn't truly matter. The world was out there waiting for her and she had to start somewhere.
She was free.
And all that was now left were tears to not shed, the breath to hold on and a hoarse whisper to carry on.
"To the airport," she said to the driver.
...
We have to pay for the love we stole
It's a sin and we know it's wrong
Oh, darling, please don't you cry
You and me, at the dark end of the street
...
Song: Hozier's performance of James Carr's "The Dark End Of The Street"
References:
[1] : 'Songbird' by Fleetwood Mac
[2] : 'My Songbird' by Emmylou Harris
[3] : The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Author's Note: So...for everyone still being here for the story...it is time to wrap up.
The next and last chapter will be the epilogue of the story.