August 20, 2004

Evangeline's p.o.v

Mama's hands flew to her mouth to cover a sob. Her pretty hair was hiding her face but I could still see the tears that were falling.

Mama and Harry had been arguing. I got distracted by Kreacher's yummy snacks but I saw when they both stood up and their faces got red. I don't know what they said but it didn't look very nice at all.

We were still standing outside Harry's living room. My face scrunched up. Maybe I did hate Harry. Every time Harry came up Mama got this look on her face. But maybe this time they both upset each other. They were both angry today.

I grip my book tighter and pull on her hand. "Mama? Are you okay?"

"Too little, too late." Mama's shoulders hunched and the tears came faster. "Too little, too bloody late. Come on Evangeline we're done here."

I let Mama pull me after her but I can't help the pull on my magic that told me she was upset but it was something else. There was someone else crying for help too.

We sidestep the messes on the floor and Mama prepared to apparate us away. Just when I felt Mama get ready to make us leave I let go of her hand and watch her disappear on her own. Someone was crying and Mama always told me to follow my instincts. Whoever was crying needed my help.

I scramble back into the building and sweep inside as I follow my magic. Standing on tippy toes I look through the keyhole of the room we had been in. Harry was sitting on the couch and he was crying. Mama said that it was okay for both boys and girls to cry but Neville and grandpa never cried unless they were really really sad. I crack open the door and enter.

"Why are you crying?" I ask him. He might be a bad man who made Mama cry but Mama also said to be nice to sad people so I'll be nice for now.

"Evangeline! What are you doing here? Where's your mum?"

His face was still wet and his eyes puffy, like a bunny. "I let go of Mama's hand when she apparated. My magic felt sad."

"Your…magic?"

I nod. Happy that he understood. "It told me someone was sad so I stayed. Mama says my magic is sensibleh."

I walk up to Harry and wipe away his tears like Mama does to me. "Don't cry. You might be a bad man who makes Mama cry but no one should cry. Baba says it makes you ugly."

Harry grabbed my hands and pulled them away from his face. His hands weren't weird a bit odd like he didn't know what to do with them. "Then Baba is very smart Evangeline. Crying does make you ugly and I'm very sorry for making your mum cry."

"Then why did you do it? Why make Mama cry?"

Sadness entered Harry's eyes again and tears pooled in again. "I didn't mean to make her cry. Hermione was my world."

"Then why did you let her go?"

"Because I didn't know what I wanted."

"Why?"

"Because I was an immature git who didn't appreciate the one good thing he had. Because I wanted to "find" myself when that's all that Hermione knew. Harry Potter, not the Boy who Lived."

I jump into the seat next to him and hug my knees. "Mama loves Harry Potter. She writes letters to him all the time."

"She does?"

"Mhm. She never mails them but she's always happier when she's done. I read them once."

"What was it about?"

"Me and how I started walking. It was an old letter. I think I was one when she wrote it but I don't really know because I've been walking for-ever!"

"She wrote letters…" he murmured but I heard him.

"Many letters. Like this much." I show him with my arms how many letters Mama wrote to him. When he didn't look like he was going to answer I ask him my first question again. "Why are you crying?"

He sighed. "For many reasons. Your mum, you, me. For the time we lost, for everything that I missed-"

I interrupt him. "I'm smart but I'm not that smart. I don't understand, you're going in circles, Harry."

He looked at me. "You're right. I guess what I'm trying to say that I'm crying because we lost so much time and we can never get it back."

It was quiet between us for that moment. Harry didn't say anything, I didn't say anything, but it wasn't weird. It was but not that kind of weird, a good kind of weird. Harry wasn't so sad anymore.

"Do you think you could ever call me dad?"

I scrunch my nose. "No. It's just been me and Mama for the ages. I don't think of anyone as dad."

"Do you hate me, Evangeline?"

I look at my feet. "I-I don't hate you. Baba says life's too short to hate someone," my legs swing above the floor, "I'm sorry I said I did, I was mad."

Harry reached a hand towards me and slowly I grab it. "I'm sorry I left you and your mum alone Evangeline."

My legs stop moving. "Did you do it for a good reason?"

"…no but I'll try my best to redeem myself in your eyes."

I bite my lip. "It's okay. I forgive you."

The Floo vibrated on my wrist and I detached the charm and threw it on the floor. Instantly it roared to life and Uncle Neville stepped out. He sent me a smile. "There you are, Eva. We were worried."

"I was with Harry."

Uncle Nev barely gave Harry a look. "You should know better than to worry your mother like that Evangeline. Come, we're going back home."

Harry stood up. "Neville wait."

"What is it, Potter?"

But Harry wasn't looking at Uncle Nev. He was looking at me. "Do you want to meet again Evangeline? If your mother doesn't mind of course."

I shrug. "I think I'd like that. Goodbye o pai."*

There was a confused look on his face but he smiled anyway. "Bye ma bichette."**

Uncle Nev pulled me into the floo and we reappeared moments later in the Longbottom manor floo. I let go of Uncle Nev's hand and rush to Mama's side.

"Evangeline!"

"I'm sorry Mama!"

Mama wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in close. "Sunshine don't ever pull away from me again."

"Desculpe Mama."

Mama sighed and pulled away from me. "Why did you do it Sunshine?"

I shrug and put my hands on her shoulders. "He was sad Mama."

Mama opened her mouth to say something but then my stomach rumbled. I had skipped lunch! "Loly could you bring Evangeline her snacks please?"

"Loly bes happy too!"

Topsy grabbed my hand and pulled me to a couch where Loly had snacks waiting for me. Auntie Luna and Keelan entered the room and went to Mama's side.

"Hermione how was he?" Aunt Luna asked.

Mama laughed sadly. "He's remodeling Grimmauld. He says it's not because of Evangeline but…"

"You still think he did it for her." Auntie Luna huffs. " I don't see how that's a bad thing. You changed plenty of things about your life when you learned about Eva."

"He called her little doe."

I nibble my sandwich. Uncle Nev was talking about o pai. Yes, I gave Harry a nickname and he gave me one in return!

Mama gives a small smile. "James Potter was a stag animagus and Harry's Patronus is a deer."

My chest started feeling warm. I had been so mean to him but he still gave me a nickname that sort of ran in the family. My grandfather was a deer! O pai's patronus was a deer! Maybe I could be a deer too!

I was very happy with how things went today. I woke up surrounded by family had delicious snacks and now I was learning more about o pai! I always wanted a father who loved me but I never told mama. She would feel bad when I did.

"And o pai? That's what she called him." Silly Uncle Nev. It was simple.

"Pai sounds like dad. So maybe something along those lines? I'm not too sure about the language but it sounds like a romance language. Maybe Portuguese or Spanish if it even is a language at all." Mama is so smart! The smartest Mama in the world! "Evangeline has always been very compassionate. And I was such a witch to him!"

The sandwich became mush in my hands and the warm tingly feeling became cold. Mama was having one of her episodes.

"Hermione no-"

"I just went in and attacked him. I wanted so bad to hug him and breakdown in his arms but I-I couldn't! It hurts. It hurts so much. He cast me aside but it still hurts so much. I was so close to forgiving him but if I'd done that then I would end up hating him. Everything would be pushed aside and it would be like nothing had happened and that's not right. He wasn't there but how can I hate him for something I wanted so badly?"

None of the adults were paying any attention to me so I slip off the couch and head outside. Luna and Neville and Keelan were making things better, they were making it worse. Luna and Keelan were against mama and Neville wanted mama to forget the whole thing and move on.

It was time to call someone else.

I call Loly and wait for her to appear.

"Little Miss Eva bes calling Loly?"

"Yes, Loly." I was always to be respectful, even with the house elves. They took care of me after all as Mama said. "Loly can you find Draco and bring him here? I'm sure he can help mama!"

Loly brightened up. We both hated seeing mama sad. "Loly bes right back!" Loly popped away and I scrambled back into the sitting room. Instead of going back to my seat I climb mama's lap and hug her.

"It's okay Mama. No need to be sad. Harry is also sorry. I love you."

Her arms were warm around me. "I love you too sunshine."

"You lot rang?"

"Hi."

The adults all turned to Draco and Scorpius and I wave at them from my side.

"Draco what are you doing here?"

Draco shrugged and stepped further into the room. "A little elf told me you might need help. We needed some fresh air."

I giggle and wave them closer together. "Hi, Scorpius."

Keelan was frowning but he stepped aside as Draco plopped down on the couch and hugged Mama.

"I'm going to become an expert on calming you down right?"

Mum blubbered. "Shut up Malfoy I'm not up to your games."

Draco hummed. "Potter reminds you of the war and everything you've tried to forget."

"Yes," she whispered.

"You can't forget Granger. You can only accept it and move on."

"I can't Draco I bloody can't."

He looked through his pocket. "I couldn't either. So, I got help."

"Draco please."

"I'm serious Granger. I talked to a muggle therapist. It helped. It was either that or losing Astoria and Scorpius. Guess which I picked?"

"I do talk to people." Pause. "Does it really help?"

"I promise you. If it doesn't at least you can say you tried."

"Okay."

"Here." He gave her a card.

"Doctor McDouglas."

"She's the one I talked to. She's really good. And you can use my story so less work for you. We can go now if you want."

"Tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to cry."

"Tomorrow then."

Mama brushed my hair with her fingers. She started to sing.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You never know, dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away***

*O pai - Brazilian Portuguese for dad

**Ma bichette - french for my little doe

*** You are my sunshine - The song was first performed by Billy Davis and Charles Mitchell around 1938-39. It was first recorded by the musical group The Carters and then by the Pine Ridge Boys, both also in 1939 on the Decca Records label. It's been recorded by nearly fifty singers since then.