Chapter 27: Nightmares
Author's note: This chapter contains quotes and paraphrasing from Deathly Hallows.
Voldemort raised his wand and pointed it directly at the slowly revolving figure suspended over the table, and gave it a tiny flick. The figure came to life with a groan and began to struggle against invisible bonds.
"Do you recognize our guest, Severus?" asked Voldemort.
Severus raised his eyes to the upside-down face, every muscle in his neck tightened, protesting against looking up, but he had to.
All of the deatheaters sitting around Severus were looking at the captive now, as though they had been given permission to show curiosity. As she revolved to face the firelight, the woman said in a cracked and terrified voice, "Severus! Help me!"
Her words rang in his ears, forever reverberating around his skull.
"Ah, yes," said Severus as the prisoner turned slowly away again.
"And you, Draco?" asked Voldemort, stroking the snake's snout with his wand-free hand. Draco shook his head jerkily. Draco's face was obviously terrified. Severus knew that the Dark Lord did not mind his followers' fear, yet it would be far easier on Draco if he learned to control it, if he could push it down deep inside, compressing it in his core; so that all he would feel is a numbing emptiness along with mild indigestion.
"But you would not have taken her classes," said Voldemort. "For those of you who do not know, we are joined here tonight by Charity Burbage who, until recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
There were small noises of comprehension around the table.
"Yes…Professor Burbage taught the children of witches and wizards all about Muggles…how they are not so different from us…"
One of the deatheaters spat on the floor.
Charity Burbage revolved to face Severus again.
"Severus…please…please…"
Severus looked straight ahead, not looking at her, pretending he could not hear her.
Severus felt the eyes of his fellow deatheaters crawling on him, waiting to see if he would break.
"Silence," said Voldemort, gagging Charity quiet with magic.
Charity was a kind woman, slightly younger than Severus. He had memories of her from when they were students at Hogwarts. She had been a Gryffindor. She had known Lily.
"Not content with corrupting and polluting the minds of Wizarding children," Voldemort continued, "last week Professor Burbage wrote an impassioned defense of Mudbloods in the Daily Prophet. Wizards, she says, must accept these thieves of their knowledge and magic. The dwindling of the purebloods is, says Professor Burgage, a most desired circumstance…she would have us all mate with Muggles…or, no doubt, werewolves…"
Nobody laughed. There was no mistaking the anger and contempt in Voldemort's voice.
For the third time, Charity Burbage revolved to face Severus. Tears were pouring from her eyes into her hair. Severus looked back at her, keeping his face impassive, focusing on compressing the knot in his stomach.
Charity revolved away from him again and Severus was able to breathe.
"Avada Kedavra," Voldemort said.
The flash of green light illuminated every corner of the room. Charity fell, with a resounding crash, onto the table below, which trembled and creaked, several of the deatheaters leapt back in their chairs. Draco fell out of his onto the floor.
Severus dared a final look at the face of Charity Burbage. The room seemed to have a vacuum effect, everyone but Severus was pulled away from the table.
There was nothing but cold silence surrounding Severus and the body of Charity Burbage.
The body was crumpled on the table, hair covering the woman's face.
Severus's ears began to ring. Something changed. The figure on the table changed. The hair covering the woman's face was no longer blonde but dark and wavy.
With wide eyes, Severus carefully brushed back the dark hair from the woman's face.
It was Rose, cold and broken.
"No," Severus cried. "NO!" he grabbed at Rose's limp body, pulling her off the hard table, cling to her, trying to warm her rapidly chilling form.
Severus fell to his knees with Rose cradled against his body. "No, no, no," he sobbed, rubbing his hand against her soft cheek.
Rose gasped, and her body came alive with a violent twitch.
Severus jump, almost losing his grip on her. How could she possibly still be alive. "Rose," Severus said desperately.
"Severus…" Rose said weakly.
"Yes," Severus said breathily, he almost laughed, filled with relief that Rose was talking to him.
But then Rose began to panic. She began to struggle in Severus's arms. Her brown eyes were large and scared. "Severus…Severus…" she shrieked.
"Rose," Severus cried out, "I'm here, Rose, I'm here."
"Severus! Help me!" she begged.
Severus sensed a presence behind him. He jerked his head to look back.
The Dark Lord stood there, his red eyes burning into Rose's flesh. The great snake was at his ankles. "Nagini," Voldemort hissed, "dinner!"
"NO!" Severus yelled, flinging himself over Rose to protect her. "NO!"
The scene went black.
Severus was yanked into consciousness. He gasped and was flung into a sitting position. The room was dark. He did not recognize his surroundings at first. He stared straight ahead, breathing rapidly.
He was in Rose's childhood bedroom.
He raised his hands to his cheeks. They were wet from tears.
"No, no, no."
Severus's head turned toward the other bed in the room. Ephraim was tossing under the sheets.
Severus quickly wiped his eyes and stepped out of bed. He moved over to the boy and knelt beside him.
"No, please stop, please stop," Ephraim pleaded in his sleep. "Daddy stop, stop, STOP! NO!" His voice raised in pitch and volume. His back pushed into the mattress and he hands gripped at nothingness, forming defenseless fists.
"Ephraim," Severus said. "Ephraim." He grabbed the boy's shoulders and gave him a little shake. "Ephraim!"
Ephraim's eyes flung open. He stared at his professor in shock, not seeing him at all. He then began to struggle against Severus's hold on him. Severus let go at once.
"Ephraim." Severus said again in a calm, firm voice.
The boy's body became very still, yet he was breathing very fast. Severus could tell he had fully woken up now.
"Calm down," Severus instructed, "breathe. You're alright."
Ephraim gripped at the covers to steady himself.
"You're alright," Severus said again.
Ephraim's breathing began to slow to a normal rate. Severus reached for his wand and lit it.
The boy's face was ghostly white, and his eyes were haunted.
Ephraim slowly sat up in bed. "Professor," he stammered out. "I-I'm sorry."
Severus examined the child before shaking his head once. "You have done nothing wrong."
Ephraim shifted in the bed slightly and then quickly looked away from his professor, heat coloring his face.
"Would you like me to get Rose?" Severus offered.
Ephraim nodded down at the blankets, tears forming in his eyes.
Severus stood. He flicked his wand and the lights turned on in the room. Both he and Ephraim squinted against the stinging brightness, but Severus didn't want to leave the boy alone in the dark. "I will be back shortly," Severus said to Ephraim, who wouldn't lift his eyes.
Severus shut the door gently and walked down the hall, his lit wand in hand. He heard voices coming from the room Rose was supposed to be asleep in. Light flooded from under the crack in the door.
He knocked.
"Come in," came Rose's voice.
Severus stood in the doorway in the ugliest oversize, gray nightshirt Rose had every seen. Severus refused to borrow anything to sleep in. Instead he produced something by magic.
Rose was laying on top of the bed covers with her sister, Rachel. They were both smiling as if they had just heard a great joke.
Rose's smile fade, however, when she looked upon Severus. Something was clearly wrong. Severus's face looked clammy and gray. "Severus," she said, standing from the bed at once.
She moved towards him and placed her hand against his cheek. "Are you feeling well?" she asked. Severus's body relaxed slightly at her touch. He wondered if he looked comparable to Ephraim after emerging from his nightmare.
Severus desperately wanted to take Rose up into his arms after the images that had played behind his sleeping eyes.
"I'm fine," he told her.
Rose narrowed her eyes at him.
"Ephraim needs you," Severus said.
"Okay," Rose said with a nod. She looked back at her sister.
"I guess I should probably get to bed anyway," Rachel said as she slipped out the door and into another bedroom.
When Rachel was out of sight, Severus snatched up Rose's hand. "Come," he urged, squeezing her fingers tightly as he led her down the hall.
"He had a nightmare?" Rose asked.
"Yes," Severus said straightly as they stopped in front to the door.
"Severus," Rose said in a hushed voice. "Are you sure 'you're' okay?" Rose looked up at him with wide, concerned eyes.
Severus sighed and tucked a loose strand of hair back behind Rose's ear. "Yes," he said, producing a tight-lipped smile.
Rose still looked unconvinced.
Severus pulled her towards him and hugged her tightly, feeling some of the tension leave his body. "I promise," he whispered into her hair.
Rose nodded into his chest before he released her.
"Ephraim needs you," Severus reminded.
"Yes," Rose agreed before opening the bedroom door.
As soon as Ephraim laid eyes on Rose, his face broke and his silent tears erupted into sobs. Rose rushed to him and sat herself on the edge of the bed.
Ephraim instinctively opened his arms to her like a much younger child, needing to be held. Rose enveloped the child in her arms and rocked him slightly. "You're okay," Rose soothed. "You're safe, sweetheart." She threw a troubled looked at Severus from over Ephraim's shoulder. Severus still stood in the doorway unsure if his presence would make matters better or worse.
Rose and Severus had discussed at length how best to help Ephraim. No potion nor spell could heal these kinds of wounds, not really. The dreamless sleep potion only masked the trouble within.
Ephraim needed time, attention, and love, all of which Rose was more than happy to provide. He also needed professional help.
Rose promised herself that she would make Ephraim an appointment with a psychologist as soon as possible. It was rare for witches and wizards to seek mental health help because they could just make themselves forget passed trauma. It was even rarer to find a witch or wizard who specialized in psychology because it was a muggle trade. But magic could never erase that feeling of dread that takes root in the heart.
Rose thought it would be worse, somehow, to feel so wrong yet have no memory or understanding of why.
Based on the look on Severus's face when Rose first mentioned psychology, Rose knew Severus felt that muggle methods of analyzing memories and feelings were a waste of time. However, Rose appreciated him holding his tongue when she suggested it for Ephraim. In return, Rose refrained from suggesting that Severus could benefit from counseling as well.
Ephraim was shaking with agonized cries in her arms. Rose had never seen Ephraim immediately after one of his nightmares. It was far worse than she thought. She stroked his hair gently. "Ephraim," she whispered, her heartbreaking, "I'm here. Professor Snape's here. You're safe."
Rose looked over at Severus again, desperation in her eyes. Severus closed the door and moved in closer. He stood behind Rose and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked terrified up at him, her eyes begging him to tell her how to fix this, but she did not know how well she was soothing this child.
Severus presumed that for the first time in his life, Ephraim was allowed to let his guard down, to feel that someone, Rose, could help relieve him of his burden, if only for a moment. For that's how Severus felt about being around Rose. Severus relished the feeling of relief and felt unbelievable guilt to share such a heavy load with the woman he loved so completely.
Rose kissed the top of Ephraim's head. Severus saw her blink several times as if to keep tears back herself.
Finally, Ephraim's sobs began to subside. He slowly pulled away from Rose and sat up straighter in bed. He stared ahead of him. Tears silently poured from his swollen eyes.
"I'm so sorry," Ephraim said in a shaking voice.
Rose grabbed his hand. Ephraim squeezed it back hard as if afraid of being pulled away from Rose.
"You have no reason to apologize," Rose assured him.
Ephraim turned towards her, yet he seemed to be struggling to meet her eyes and he certainly could not look at Professor Snape.
Rose brushed at Ephraim's wet cheeks with her free hand. "Come on," she said kindly, "lets get you cleaned up."
Ephraim blushed profusely but allowed Rose to help him into a standing position. His knees shook slightly, and he felt cold in his wet pants. "I'm sorry," he mumbled again.
"No harm done," Rose said, kissing his head again. She gently led him from the room, looking back at Severus, who gave her a little nod.
Severus took a seat on the bed that he was sleeping on and began massaging his temples. Ephraim's panicked cries for help burned in Severus's ears and scorched up his throat as if he had spoken them once.
Rose returned moments later. Severus looked up at her and Rose plopped herself down beside him with a long sigh, resting her head on Severus's shoulder. Severus wrapped his arm around her waist from behind, pulling Rose closer to him.
"How is he?" Severus asked.
He felt Rose shrug against him. "No idea," she replied miserably. "He's changing now. I told him we could watch the movie my parents bought him when he's done. He seemed to like that idea."
"He just doesn't want to be away from you," Severus pointed out.
"And I him," Rose replied. "I truly love that child." She whispered this more to herself than to Severus.
"Well it is clear that the feeling it mutual," Severus replied drily.
Rose pulled away slightly so that she could look Severus in the face. "And it is clear that Ephraim looks to you as a son would look to his father."
Severus's face grew suddenly very pale. "Rose," he warned.
Rose was about to reply, but at that moment the door creaked open and Ephraim peeked his head into the room. He sensed he was interrupting something by the serious looks on both Rose and his professor's faces.
"You can come in, Ephraim," Severus told him.
Ephraim took the least number of steps possible to be considered in the room. He was wearing another pair of Rose's father's pajama's that Rose had magically shrunk to fit him. His eyes flicked to the wet sheets on the bed. "I can clean up," he said in a small voice.
Severus pointed his wand at the bed and the sheets were stripped off the mattress and then they floated their way down to the laundry. "It's done," Severus said shortly.
Both Rose and Severus stood and moved toward Ephraim.
"Let's go watch your movie downstairs," Rose suggested leading him by a gentle hand on his shoulder. Severus followed closely behind, his mind buzzing with Rose's words.
Neither Ephraim nor Rose made it through the movie. It was only Severus who got stuck watching the ridiculous story about talking insects.
Ephraim was curled up against Rose's side and Rose had a protective arm around him, yet her sleeping head fell onto Severus's shoulder. Ephraim looked content in his sleep this time, safely beside Rose. Rose too, seemed completely at her ease. She even smiled a little in her sleep.
Severus smirked slightly. He didn't want to wake either Ephraim nor Rose by moving. So, he summoned a blanket to cover them all and he turned out the lights and shut off the television with his wand.
Severus slid his gaze over to the boy. Careful not to create too much movement, he reached out and pulled the blanket up to Ephraim's chin. Then Severus rested his head beside Rose's and fell asleep as well.