Chapter 33: Harry Potter

"Absolutely not," Severus told Rose as she followed him into his office.

"But why not?" Rose pushed, her arms were laden with several multicolored folders.

"Because I said no," Severus said roughly.

"Trouble in paradise?" a portrait of a bald wizard asked from his hanging place across from where they stood.

Severus glared at the painting before shutting the door.

"I really think it would make a difference," Rose practically begged. This conversation had begun all the way up on the fifth floor. Even now that they were in the dungeons, Severus refuses to provided Rose with a straight answer.

Severus turned his back on her and walked over to his desk. He began arranging papers on it, making everything appear messier.

It had been only a couple days since Rose and Severus had asked Ephraim to be their son. Rose was on an immediate rampage to make things official as soon as possible. It had proved to be frighteningly easy to be able to have Ephraim come live with them. There were not enough foster homes in general, even less, witches and wizards willing to house a child. With the aftermath of the war, many children were left parentless. After a few forms were filled out, Rose was planning Ephraim's bedroom arrangements.

Adoption proved to be much, much harder.

Rose moved over to Severus and placed her folders on his desk. She had a different color for all the different applications and forms. Rose had mistakenly thought it would be an easier process because Ephraim was already living with them. It was the contrary, however, since Ephraim was muggle-born and his nonmagical parents were still alive; the forms doubled. Severus and Rose would have to file for adoption in both the magical and nonmagical worlds. They would need personal statements, forms completed, a home inspection, background checks, and four letters of recommendation. The adoption would have to go through the wizarding court first and then a witch or wizard would assist them in completing the adoption with the muggles, which would certainly pass due to spells of forgery. To nonwizards, Severus and Rose have been unemployed their entire lives and their Hogsmeade address did not exist.

In only two and a half days, Rose had completed everything but the letter of recommendations. Those would have been done too if it had been in her control. She had taken time off work to get everything completed, which meant her showing up at Hogwarts in the middle of the day to ask Severus to do something for the cause.

Rose let out a frustrated sigh. "Ephraim is counting on us to get this done," Rose said firmly.

"Don't you think I'm aware of that," Severus returned, still staring down at his paperwork. "Haven't I signed every piece of parchment you've held under my nose? Haven't I stayed up late with you filling out every bloody application and form?"

"Yes, but-"

"No," Severus said flatly, straightening himself and looking at her.

"Professor McGonagall said she would write us a recommendation, my supervisor at St. Mungo's said she would." Rose ticked people off on her fingers. "Have you heard from Kingsley yet?"

"Not since you asked me last night?" Severus said drily.

Rose bit her lower lip in frustration.

"I'm sure the Minister of Magic has other pressing responsibilities," Severus said as he rolled his eyes at her.

"You were in the Order of the Phoenix with him," Rose said in a hard tone. "Surely he would do it."

Severus ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Perhaps," he sighed.

"If the fourth letter came from Harry Potter," Rose continued, "how could they refuse us."

Severus's eyes darkened. "How many times do I possibly have to tell you no before you'll listen?" His voice never went up in volume, but Rose could tell that Severus was really beginning to become angry with her.

"I just don't understand why!" Rose retorted. "Harry is lovely to you. For some reason," she added. "He checked on you so often in the Shrieking Shack. I know for a fact that he would write a letter for us. They couldn't tell us no. Ephraim would definitely be ours."

Severus was struggling to be patient with Rose, but he knew she was doing all of this for Ephraim's sake, so he tried his best to keep his voice level. "Will it take a brigade of people to prove that I can be trusted with a child?" Severus said in a forced calm.

Rose let her shoulders fall in defeat. "I don't think that," she told him.

Severus gave he a sharp look.

"I am nervous about your criminal record," she admitted.

"Perhaps if I am found to be an unfit parent," Severus told her coldly, "that would be an accurate assessment of me."

"No, it wouldn't!" Rose exclaimed. "The people deciding this don't know us; they don't know you. What they see is all on paper." Rose crossed her arms tightly against her chest. "'Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel,' is not doing us any favors as well. I just don't see why asking Harry-"

"Rose," Severus snapped at her. He grabbed at the air in frustration and then took in a deep breath before continuing. "I need you to imagine something for me."

Rose narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay," she said roughly.

"When you were at school who was that one person that you absolutely despised?" Severus asked her.

Rose was quiet for a moment. As a school aged girl, she did not know what it was to despise anything. As a woman she had learned. She despised Lord Voldemort and even more so, she hated Karis Malfoy. The mere thought of that woman's piercing, cold eyes, on her slender face and her pale thin lips disgusted Rose to the point of making her want to vomit. Rose delighted in the insanity that followed Karis's stay in Azkaban. Her already weak mind could not take much of it. Now Karis was harmlessly senseless, locked up for her own safety, lost in her own dark world. Rose felt justified in the belief that Tiberius's sister got what she deserved after what she did to him. That was hatred.

Rose's brows knit together. "Well, I guess Melody Bradshaw used to tease me at school, because I was no mag born and didn't know a lot about the wizarding world. I certainly didn't like her," Rose offered.

"Fine," Severus returned, seeing that this analogy might not work on Rose. "Can you picture her clearly in your mind?"

"Yeah," Rose said, unimpressed by where this was going.

"What if Melody Bradshaw had a child with Tiberius?" Severus questioned. "How would you feel about that child?"

Rose's eyes darkened. It had come back to Lily again. Rose pressed her lips into a thin line. "I don't think Melody Bradshaw was really Tiberius's type," she said in a hard tone.

Severus picked up the anger in her voice. "Of course, you wouldn't understand," he said more to himself.

"Severus, you are married and will soon be a father," Rose shot back. "I would have hoped that Harry Potter's 'existence' wouldn't cause you so much distress anymore."

Rose looked away to glare at the far wall. 'She wouldn't understand?' Had she not lost someone she loved so deeply? Or was Severus implying that her love for Tiberius could not compare to his great love for Lily Potter. Where Lily was concerned, Rose felt like she couldn't push back unless she was to be the jealous wife. But she was jealous. She didn't think that she would ever stop being jealous and this made her incredibly sad. Sad that her husband could not even be civil to a teenager because he reminded him too much of a great love won by another.

Hadn't Severus won? Rose thought. He had won her. But the second-place prize was never what was coveted; It was just given to soften the blow of missing out on first.

Rose's angry look turned to grief. She unconsciously placed her hands on her belly.

"Rose," Severus said cautiously. She ignored him. He reached out two fingers to brush at her cheek. She flinched away from him. "I've made you angry with me."

"Yes," Rose answered in a low voice.

"And I've upset you."

Rose turned her eyes towards him, giving him a look that clearly said, 'what do you think.' She wanted so badly to storm out but forced herself to stay put. She promised Severus that she would not leave him in anger.

Severus could almost hear this thought process. "Thank you for not walking out." He sighed. "I can see how much you want to," he added bitterly.

"I promised I won't do that," Rose muttered.

"I know," Severus breathed. "You are good for your word." He reached out again and touched her shoulder, when she didn't pull away, he drew her into his chest.

Rose felt torn. Severus was always the one person she felt most comforted by, but it was difficult when he was the reason she needed to be comforted. She sighed into his chest. "I know what they say, you know," Rose said flatly.

"About what?" Severus said into her hair, feeling her body tense in his arms.

"About Harry Potter," Rose continued. "Everyone that knew his parents says that Harry looks exactly like James." Severus's body went ridged. "Except for his eyes. They say his eyes are precisely like Lily's." Rose could feel Severus's jaw shift against her head as he chewed his inner cheeks. Rose was not looking at Severus's face. She was not sure if she was making him angry or not. Regardless, he continued to keep a firm hold on her. "I suppose when you look at Harry Potter, all you see is the man who pulled Lily away from you. Yet on his face you find that constant reminder of exactly what you lost."

Severus slowly loosened his grip on her, and Rose eased her way out of his arms, feeling suddenly very cold.

They both leaned up against Severus's desk, looking ahead of them, lost in their own thoughts.

"I guess your feelings do make sense to me," Rose allowed in a mumble, still not looking towards him. "Even if I don't fully understand them myself."

Severus stared up at the ceiling and then threw a fleeting glance at Rose. "You're clever as always," Severus told Rose, his voice empty of emotion. "Except I don't see the man who pulled Lily away, I see the man I pushed her towards."

Rose blinked several times to keep tears from welling in her eyes.

Severus watched her out of his peripherals. "Ask Potter for the bloody reference," he told her bitterly.

Rose sighed and then shook her head. "No," she told him. "It bothers you. We will find someone else." She was frustrated with herself for bringing it up in the first place. She was so excited about finalizing the adoption, she did not stop to think how her request would make Severus feel. "Do you mind if I go home now?" Rose asked in a weary tone. "I'm not angry anymore. I promise."

Severus stared at her. She had been so excited when she walked into his office and he had destroyed that. "You don't need my permission to leave," he said guiltily.

Rose nodded and began walking towards the door.

"Rose," Severus said hurriedly, stepping in front of her. "Wait."

She looked up at him. She was beginning to tear up.

Severus carefully brushed her hair away from her face and lightly kissed her forehead. "I love you," he told her firmly.

She sent him a little sad smile. "I know you do," she said. "I love you too, Severus… so much, which doesn't make this situation any easier." She swallowed back some of her grief. "Quite to contrary, really."

He held his hand against her cheek. She leaned into it and pressed her lips against his palm before backing away from him and walking out the door.

XXX

Hours later when Severus and Ephraim walked through the door, Rose was playing her piano. A beautiful, mournful piece that Severus had never heard her play before. He could always gage how she was feeling based on the mood of her music. She stopped as she sensed them behind her.

Ephraim came up to her and gave her a tight hug, knowing something was amiss.

Rose smiled and placed a kiss into his hair. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah," Ephraim told her. "Did you?" He gave her a weighted look.

Rose nodded very unconvincingly.

Ephraim's brows knit together.

"Ephraim," Severus said. "Give me a moment to speak with Rose."

Ephraim looked towards his teacher and nodded once before retreating to his bedroom.

Severus sat on the piano bench beside Rose the opposite way so that they were facing each other.

Severus reached into his robes and pulled out a roll of parchment. He handed it to her.

Rose looked at him questionably.

"Well, read it then," Severus pushed.

Rose unrolled the paper and her eyes skimmed over the page, jumping to the signature at the bottom. She gazed up at Severus in amazement. "You asked him?"

"So, it would seem," Severus replied bitterly, eyeing the parchment with disgust.

"How did you get it so quickly?" Rose asked.

"He is always at the bloody school," Severus returned.

Rose was quiet for a moment as she read over the letter more carefully. A small smile touched her lips. "Did you read it?"

"No," Severus told her roughly.

Rose could hardly imagine how this exchange must have gone. She new that Severus would have had to put aside his pride in order to ask Harry Potter for anything.

As soon as Rose left, Severus begrudgingly wrote out a note to send to Harry Potter, but on his way to the owlery, there Potter was, walking in the corridor, hand in hand with the Weasley girl.

"Potter," Severus said.

Harry, who had not seen his former professor, halted. Both he and Ginny turned on the spot. Professor Snape was looking especially irritated about something as he approached.

"A word?" Severus said icily to Harry.

"Sure," Harry returned. He looked towards Ginny. "Meet you at Hagrid's?"

Ginny eyed Snape for a moment before nodding at Harry and walking off.

Severus was grimacing, unsure if he would be able to get the words out.

"Is there something wrong, Sir?" Harry asked.

"No," Severus said shortly, looking over Harry's head. They stood in silence awkwardly for a moment before Severus decided that he was going to have to say something. "My wife has a request of you, Potter," he began.

"Uh okay," Harry replied with bewilderment.

Severus let out a breath as his face fell into a scowl. "We have a request of you," Severus corrected.

"What is it, Professor?" Harry asked.

"Rose and I are trying to adopt one of the students here," Severus explained. "In order to do that we need recommendations of our characters." Severus was hating every moment of this. "She thinks-" His scowl deepened. "We think-" Severus sighed. "We would like to ask you to write a letter of recommendation for us, stating that we would be fit parents."

"Oh," Harry said in surprise. He never could have imagined that Snape would be asking him to attest to him being a good father. Harry couldn't help but remember how awful Snape was to him as a child and how poorly he treated other students. What would it possible be like to have Snape as a father? Despite everything, Harry knew for a fact that Severus Snape was a good man and he thought that his mother would have wanted him to be happy.

"Well?" Severus said impatiently.

Harry smirked. "Of course, I will do it, Sir."

Severus looked Harry in the face for the first time during the conversation, for the first time since the night he thought he would die. Severus had been avoiding seeing Lily's eyes staring back at him, especially since he had met Rose.

"Thank you," Severus said under his breath.

A small smiled touched Harry's lips, suddenly there was more Lily in him than Severus had ever seen before. "You're welcome, Professor," he said. "Shall I finish it by the end of the day?"

Severus blinked hard and looked away again. "Yes, that would be sufficient," he told Harry before walking away without another word.

Rose read the letter for a second time and then looked up at Severus from over the parchment. "Do you want to know what Lily's son thinks of you?" Her voice was calm, not giving anything away.

Severus's brows knit together as he looked back at Rose. "Do I?" Severus asked her.

"Most of the letter discusses your accomplishments with the Order and how you helped aid Harry in his quest to defeat You-know-who." Rose took Severus's hand. "The last few lines say: Severus Snape demonstrates a great capacity for bravery but also a great capacity for love. I have no doubt that he would do anything to protect the wellbeing of any future children he will have. I give my full support in allowing this man to become a father."

Severus was speechless. Sometimes he felt like he was living in some parallel universe, where Potter was on his side, where he was married to a woman he loved, where he was happy.

"I know it must have been hard for you to ask Harry for this."

"It was," Severus agreed. "But it was for our family."

Rose fell forward and rested her head on his shoulder. Severus wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry about earlier," he said into her hair.

Rose pulled back so that she could look at him. "You don't have to apologize," she said somewhat bitterly.

"I made you cry," Severus said in a whisper.

"It wasn't really you," Rose admitted. "It was more my own insecurities."

"Your insecurities," Severus returned. He could never quite grasp how a woman as beautiful and intelligent as Rose could ever feel self-conscious about anything. "About…" He did not want to be the one to say it.

Rose nodded, not wanting to say it either.

"You know I don't see it that way," Severus hissed.

"I know," Rose breathed. "I know," she said again a bit louder, trying to convince herself.

Severus ran his hand through her hair. "Rose."

She nodded. She wondered if she would ever stop feeling so small compared to Lily.

Severus stared at her for a long moment, feeling unconvinced. He decided it was best not tp push the subject further. "Will you come here, please," he said instead, shrugging his arms open.

Rose smirked and allowed Severus to pull her close again. She tilted her chin to look up at him.

"May I kiss you, Mrs. Snape?" Severus said teasingly.

Rose looked off to the side as if considering her options. "I think that would be nice," she played.

"I was hoping you would be agreeable," Severus said before meeting his lips with hers.

When they parted again for air, Rose stared into Severus's dark eyes. "You are going to be a great father," she whispered.

Severus frowned. "I hope you're right," he said.

"You already are a great husband," she assured.

Severus gave her a small patronizing smile.

"It's true," Rose told him firmly. "You are better at this whole 'family man' thing than you think you are." Rose stole another kiss. "I'm very lucky to have you and our children will be too."