Chapter 43:

"Severus," Tobias said breathlessly. "Severus!"

Rose was knelt beside Tobias's bed. "He's not here," she tried to say calmly.

Tobias was restless. His black eyes were wild as he searched the room for his son. Being a healer, Rose had seen many people on the brink of death. It would not be long now. Tobias could barely move, but Rose could feel the pressure of him pushing against death closing in on him.

"Severus." His voice was stained and gargling. His breathing was becoming impaired by fluid buildup in his lungs.

Rose grabbed Tobias's hand. It was cold, clammy, and limp. "Can you drink this?" she said, offering him a potion. "For the pain."

"I need Severus," he managed, ignoring her question.

"The potion will help," Rose pleaded with him.

Tobias squeezed Rose's fingers as firmly as he could. He gazed up at her with the same dark eyes as her husband. They were wide, full of tears and fear. "Please," he begged.

Rose nodded once. "I'll ask him," she said. "but I can't promise that-"

"Thank you," Tobias breathed.

Rose stood and stepped out of ear range, but not where Tobias could not see her. She could not bear to leave a dying man alone. Rose pulled out her mirror and peering into the glass empty of reflection. She took a deep breath. "Severus," she said clearly into the mirror.

Rose's voice issued from Severus's pocket. The classroom full of students stared up at him from over their cauldrons. Ephraim was among them; he immediately recognized his mother's voice. Severus met his son's eyes briefly. Hearing Rose call out to him sent a rush of nervous energy up his body. It had been so long since his wife had reached out to him. He longed to hear her voice issuing from his mirror. Yet he knew where she must be at that very moment and Severus was torn between wanting desperately to see Rose peering at him through the glass and wanting to throw the mirror across the room.

It had been nearly a week since they had been together in their home. Severus found himself imagining Rose speaking into the mirror, begging him for his forgiveness. But in this moment, Severus knew that that was not what was about to happen.

He reached into his pocket.

"What is it?" He spoke sternly into the mirror.

He saw Rose flinch at his cold words.

"Are you alone?" she asked. She had no concept of the time.

"No," Severus said, scowling back at her.

"Oh," she whispered, eyeing him pleadingly.

Severus sighed deeply and then looked up at his class. "Everyone, get out," he said roughly. "No class today."

From the other side of the mirror, Rose could hear the scrambling of Severus's students.

"You too, Ephraim," Severus said with less fierceness in his voice.

"Is mum alright?" Ephraim asked with wide eyes.

"Yes," Severus droned, "she's perfectly alright."

Rose could only look up at Severus's face, but she could see by how his eyes darkened that Ephraim was not doing as he was told. Their son often challenged Severus this way. They were so similar.

Severus's lips formed a thin line and he shook his head once before gazing back into the mirror. "What is so important that you had to interrupt me while I'm working?" Severus hissed at Rose.

The intimacy they shared only days ago seemed to be a distant memory.

Rose took in a deep breath before beginning. "Severus," she said firmly, "You father is dying."

Severus's face seemed to get significantly gaunter as he chewed the insides of his cheeks menacingly. "And?" he finally said drily with raised brows.

Rose glanced back at Tobias. He was staring at Rose expectantly; he did not hear Severus's harsh words.

Rose turned towards Severus's reflection again. She did not know how she could possibly convince him, so she decided not to. It wasn't her place to try. "Severus," her voice took on a gentle tone. She imagined Severus as a child, scared and alone. Who was she to decide anything for him? "I just want you to know that he's asking for you," Rose explained. "I don't know what's right or wrong in this situation. I will support your decision either way, knowing whatever you do is for the best." She sighed. "Unfortunately, there isn't much time for you to make up your mind. I lifted the enchantments; you can come find us…if that's what you want."

Severus peered into the mirror; his face was empty of all emotion.

'Don't hide from me,' Rose begged of him silently.

"Is that all you needed to tell me," Severus finally said distantly.

Rose pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Now I'm informed," Severus replied casually. He lowered the mirror and placed it back into his pocket.

Severus stared around his nearly empty classroom. He walked from behind his desk as if moving towards the door but stopped after only a few steps. He backed up and leaned against his desk.

Ephraim moved beside his father.

Severus tilted his head slightly to look over at Ephraim. Ephraim's brows were knit together; he appeared to be fighting with himself.

"Dad," Ephraim said under his breath after several minutes. "I think you should go."

"Do you?" Severus said in a flat tone, peering at the door. Ephraim was the only person in the world who could possibly give an opinion on this matter.

"If it was me," Ephraim said drily, "I would always wonder what he would say." Ephraim shrugged. "Even if nothing comes of it, what's the worst he could do anyway?"

Severus nodded once.

There was a loud pop.

Both Tobias and Rose turned towards the sound.

"Severus," Rose said in disbelief.

Severus's face was blank as he peered at his wife and father. Rose sat on the edge of the bed where Tobias laid. Tobias stared up at Severus eagerly. The dying, broken man had never looked so pleased to see Severus in his life.

Rose jumped up from her seat. She whipped out her wand and produced a wooden chair beside the bed. "Severus." She held the back of the chair, offering it to him. Severus noticed how his father said nothing about the magic being performed in front of him.

Severus walked straight ahead until he stood right at the head of the bed. He ignored Rose but peered down at Tobias Snape from the end of his hooked nose. Tobias stared up at his son. His black eyes appeared too large. His face had obviously grown thin in a short amount of time by the way his grayish skin sagged away from the bones. He tried to lift his head but couldn't.

"Severus," Tobias said in a gargling, wet tone. His voice sounded like he was drowning. Severus was surprised to hear him speak at all for Tobias was already halfway to becoming a corpse.

"Why does he sound like that?" Severus asked Rose, turning his eyes to her. "It sounds…"

"I know," Rose answered. "The tumors in his lungs are inhibiting how his cells hold onto fluid." Rose knelt beside Tobias and placed a gentle hand on his forehead. "I don't think I can get you to drink anymore potions," she said more to herself. She flicked her wand and a long metal pole stood beside the bed. Rose quickly began working. She placed an IV in his arm and hung a bag of fluid from the pole that dripped slowly into Tobias's veins.

"What potion are you giving him?" Severus asked Rose.

"It's not a potion," Rose answered. "It's morphine."

"Severus," Tobias managed desperately.

Rose could see her husband retreating deeper within himself as his eyes became emptier. "Can you do anything about how he sounds?" Severus said in a demanding voice, refusing to look at his father again.

The rattle of death resonated in the room.

Rose shook her head. "I can only try to keep him comfortable."

Severus was staring intently at the far wall.

"Will you sit beside your father?" Rose asked hesitantly.

Severus's face darkened. "I don't know what I'm doing here," he hissed before forcefully pulling up the chair and sitting.

"Severus," Tobias spluttered, "I-" he couldn't finish. He coughed wetly. A pinkish tinged foam was dripping out of his mouth and nose. Rose jumped forth and began suctioning the fluid out with her wand.

"Severus," Tobias mouthed.

"Legilimens," Severus said, gripping his wand in his pocket.

Images sprang forth. He saw a dark-haired toddler playing on the floor with a toy train. The toddler held out the train in his little fist and then let go. The train was levitating. Tobias's hand reached out for the floating toy and then the scene became blurred and wavy. What happened next was not a real memory. Tobias took up the toy and then knelt to pull the little boy into his lap.

Severus blinked and Tobias's desperate face appeared in front of him again. "I'm sorry," he managed. Those were the last word that Tobias Snape ever spoke.

Severus could not begin to feel anything but numb as he sat in that wooden chair for hours waiting for his father to die. Severus had seen countless people die, many in gruesome ways but he had never seen how the body could completely betray a person and slowly shut down of its own accord.

Severus and Rose did not speak. Rose would push potions or muggle medications into Tobias's veins. Rose knelt on the floor and held Tobias's hand, occasionally whispering a few soft words. Tobias did not respond. His eyes were shut, and his breaths became farther and farther apart. It was horrible to listen to the rattling, raspy sound. More of that blood tinged foam streamed from the corners of his mouth and out his nose. Rose would carefully clean it away. Severus wondered if Tobias was screaming internally, a prisoner in his own failing body, that was slowly drowning itself. Severus did not want to use legilimency again to find out.

Rose was careful not to brush against Severus as she knelt beside his feet. Although, she would steal frequent looks at him. He ignored her every glance, transfixed by the dying man in front of them. Rose had no words of comfort nor could she even guess what Severus was feeling.

Finally, Tobias took a series of sharp, short breaths in which his head reflexively bowed and rose. He let out a final burst of life and his eyes slid open and stared emptily up at the ceiling.

With silent tears rolling down her cheeks, Rose leaned forward and closed Tobias's eyes with two fingers and then carefully draped the sheet over his face.

Rose swallowed hard and then turned towards her husband. Catching sight of Rose's welling eyes upon him, Severus stood from the chair abruptly and moved across the room, distancing himself from the corpse of his father.

Rose eyed Severus's ridged back. He had been so still for several hours, she forgot how fast he could move. She stood slowly and approached Severus cautiously.

"Severus," she whispered.

"He said he was sorry," Severus said indignantly, not facing Rose. "After year of…" he trailed off, unconsciously pulling at his hair. "AND he was sorry."

The easiness between her and Severus had been forgotten months ago. Rose wanted so badly to hold on to him and tell him that she loved him, but Rose did not know if that was what Severus wanted anymore. He had told her he would always love her and would want to protect her, but did he want her protection and love in return? Had she betrayed him beyond redemption?

"I think he meant it," Rose said through a dry throat. "I don't think sorry is good enough, but I really believe that he meant it."

Severus turned towards her slowly.

"I'm sorry too," Rose breathed.

"Sorry for what specifically?" Severus asked coldly.

"Sorry that you were hurt by my actions."

Severus made a little errant noise. "But not sorry for your actions," he said.

"That depends," Rose said, "on the outcome for you. I know you're angry with me and I'm not sure if you will ever stop being angry with me."

Severus surveyed his wife for a long moment. For years, he had become a master at suppressing what he truly felt and often what he truly felt was unidentifiable amongst the knot of unexpressed emotions. And then came a young woman who painstakingly tried to loosen that knot inch by inch until Severus could tolerate a life in this world. Then before he knew what was happening, his life was not just tolerable; it was a happy life because of Rose. For her sake, Severus tried his best to pick apart the knot of feelings he created as he watched Tobias Snape dying. "I'm not angry with you anymore," Severus finally said in a monotone, "and," his voice took on an edge, "not with him either. But it makes me angry that I'm not angry. He deserves-"

"He deserves a lot of things," Rose interjected. "And he suffered. I can't judge if his suffering made up for all the wrong, but I do know that you don't deserve to feel angry or sad because of him. Severus, you deserve far better than to be tied to what he did to you."

"And you think I should forgive him?" Severus asked roughly. "Is that what will set this all right, Rose, my forgiveness?"

Rose dropped her eyes. "I can't possibly say if anything will set any of this right." She gazed at her husband tearfully. "I can't say if I helped you at all."

Severus glanced over at the body shrouded by the bedsheet. "He was sorry," Severus repeated, trying to make sense of it. He looked back at Rose. "The body?" It the deaths that Severus had witnessed the bodies had been left to be dealt with by others or transfigured to be hidden.

"Well," Rose said, "what I do at St. Mungo's is wash the body and wrap it up. That's what I would like to do for your father. Then I will can a muggle funeral home and they will come collect his body until he can be buried." Rose shook her head. "I'll take care of it all, you don't have to stay here a moment longer."

"No," Severus replied slowly. "I'll help you with him."

Rose was momentarily taken aback but quickly tried to wipe the surprise from her face. "Okay," she said. "I'll show you what to do."

Rose filled a basin with water and took up one washcloth and handed one to Severus. Severus stood over the body with wide eyes as Rose gently removed Tobias's clothing. His bowels and bladder had released as the body cleansed itself for death.

Rose looked up at Severus from where she was knelt. "We'll clean his face and then work our way down, okay?"

Severus nodded stiffly and then got on his knees beside his father's body. He wet his cloth and ran if over Tobias's forehead, remembering the creases that would appear there when he became enraged. Now there was no tension in his face, no air in his lungs to yell. Severus ran the cloth down the length of his arm and to his hand that would strike. Every muscle was limp now.

Severus and Rose took their time washing Tobias's body. Then Rose bandaged from his chin to the top of his head to prevent the jaw dropping once rigor mortis set in. Rose picked out clothing to redress the body before they wrapped the remains of Tobias Snape snuggly in a clean sheet.

Dying and death could be just as ugly and messy as life. However, there is something oddly comforting about the sight of a still body, packaged neatly, more peaceful than it could ever be in life.

Rose made a call. In no time a couple men came in with a trolley that looked as if to move heavy boxes. Tobias's body was secured to it and then carted away. Where he would ultimately be buried would have to be a discussion for another time.

Severus stared at the closed door. It was all over now. "Rose," he whispered into the room.

Rose appeared at his side.

He reached for her hand and held it tightly.

Rose squeezed her eyes closed briefly to keep her tears back.

"I'd like to go home with you," Severus told her in a strained tone.

Rose nodded with her lips pressed together. "I'd like that too," she breathed.

In one swift movement, Severus pulled Rose against his chest and encased her in his arms. He pressed his cheek against the top of her head. They both let out a sigh as if they could finally breathe properly again.

"I love you," Rose cried into his robes.

Silent tears spilled from Severus's eyes into Rose's hair. "And I love you," he said in a shaking voice.

Holding each one another, they disapparated home.

XXX

Dear Readers,

My story will soon come to an end. I hope to post the epilogue in the next week or so. Thank you so much for your support and reviews.

Sincerely,

Thora Jane