Shoutout to hiMe-iChi-uLqUI-gRim, tipipkd and Guest for guessing the morgue man in Chapter 15! I had to wait until now so I didn't spoil it, but I didn't forget! Title is from 'One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII' by Pablo Neruda bc I'm a sucker for a little Neruda in Ichihime fics
Rukia was initially not in the drafts for this story but I love her, and a couple of you seemed to be looking forward to seeing her, so if this chapter is a little longer than usual, we can attribute it to that, I guess.
As always, thank you for reading!
.
Yuzu's baby spoke now.
Granted, it was only short phrases or mostly calls to his mother, but he spoke. He didn't even exist, when Ichigo had just been incarcerated, but he sat on his mother's lap now, with tufts of ginger hair and newly learned phrases babbled – phrases that Ichigo hadn't been around to see, or teach, or listen to.
Yuzu Ito (née Kurosaki) herself had grown, the tired mother glow seemingly evident on her face. Karin, beside her, looked pretty much the same as before, if not her hair being a few inches longer. They'd spent all of the morning chatting, getting Ichigo acquainted with Yohei – Yuzu's son.
Now, as visitation nearly came to an end, Ichigo's temperament grew somber.
"Cheer up, Ichi-nii," Karin said, crossing her arms with a slight smirk, "We'll come see you next weekend, no need to go sour on us."
"Yeah," Yuzu chimed brightly, bobbing Yohei up and down on her lap as he grew restless. "And then maybe you can introduce us to this 'someone' you met."
Ichigo groaned. He should have known that sitting his sisters down and telling them of his new life developments – "I met someone" – would come with endless teasing and jeering. Hell, he wasn't even sure if they believed him. But they were here and they were the most important people in his life, so he took it in stride with only minor scowling. He hadn't been around to bully Yuzu's boyfriends, go to Karin's games, celebrate his nephew's first birthday or even his own graduation. So what little joys he could share, they were worth the mild teasing.
"Yeah, listen...about that," he started, glancing around at the guards before leaning closer. Yohei Ito looked up at him curiously, his mother and aunt having near identical expressions on their faces, as well. Ichigo sighed. "I'm not gonna be here."
Yuzu and Karin blinked. Yohei's attention moved on. The nuances of adulthood were lost on his little, active mind.
"Not gonna be here?" Yuzu echoed in confusion.
"Where the hell are you gonna go?" Karin demanded, raising her eyebrows. "It's not like you've got a packed schedule."
Ichigo bit his lip, then brought his hands up to his table. "Yuzu, Karin," he said slowly, "I want you both to know I'm really proud of you. This life you've built...it's incredible. It's complete. I don't want you to think you're missing out on something or waiting for something just because I'm here, alright? I want you to be happy."
It was something he had said repeatedly throughout his sentence, but knowing his sisters, he could tell there was always that sparkle of hope they carried around as they went around their normal lives. And if what he was doing was to be done, he had to extinguish it.
Karin looked dubious.
Yuzu, however, grew tearful. Her bottom lip trembled dangerously as she scrutinized Ichigo's face. "Onii-chan, why does this sound like a goodbye?"
"Because it probably is," Karin snapped, before turning to Ichigo harshly. "What the fuck are you upto, Ichi-nii?"
Ichigo groaned, then grabbed both his sisters' hands. "It's not important," he brushed off, ignoring their loud scoffs. "When the police get around to asking questions, I want you to tell them you came down here to cut off ties with me. That you have no idea what I was upto or how I was doing and you didn't care."
"Onii-chan–"
"You're breaking out, aren't you?" Karin hissed under her breath, narrowing her eyebrows at him. Ichigo was only slightly relieved that she had the tact not to blurt it out loud for the guards to hear.
He ignored both his sisters' outbursts, squeezing their hands to shush them. "Promise me you'll tell them what I told you."
Karin rolled her eyes. "You want us to lie to the police?"
"I want you to tell them what you know," Ichigo emphasized, "which is nothing."
Yuzu and Karin exchanged glances. Yohei played with a lint of dust on his finger.
"Onii-chan, if you're in trouble," Yuzu began, eyes glinting, but hands dutifully wiping her son's finger, "Tell us how to help. I don't know what I can do, but I'll figure it out."
Karin nodded in agreement.
Ichigo felt his mouth warp into a bright smile, fake and reassuring as he ruffled their hair. "It's not your job to look out for me," he said, hoping his cheer was enough to convince them not to worry, "Hell, worry about oyaji. He's not getting any younger."
Yuzu laughed lightly, resting her hand on her son's head. Karin shook her head, but decided to let it go.
They moved onto other things – work, family, and friends. Underneath the flow of the conversation, the heavy undertones began dissipating. Things were familiar again, as familiar as it could get with the distance and the strain of the last few years. Once it was time to go, however, the tension slowly began seeping in again.
As the guard called out for the inmates to head back, Ichigo and his sisters stood up. Yuzu shifted Yohei onto one hip, before squeezing Ichigo with a tight side hug. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, then whispered, "I love you, onii-chan."
Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut, returning her hug and giving her son a small peck on his head. Then, Karin came around and tackled him with a full barrel-hug that lasted longer and harder than she would admit. And though she had grown, had changed, Ichigo would have liked to think her hands still remained the same. Tiny and sister-like on his back.
When she pulled apart, she muttered, "Will we ever see you again?"
"One day, maybe," Ichigo replied, knocking the top of her head with his chin. "If things blow over."
No promises, keeping their expectations down low like he'd been doing all this time, these last few years.
Karin nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. They glanced at Yuzu teaching Yohei how to say goodbye to his uncle. She looked back at him curiously. "Does she know?" she asked quietly. "Your lady friend?"
Ichigo met her gaze, then nodded.
She scoffed. "Must be some kinda friend, then," she commented, her voice low and scratchy.
Ichigo didn't say anything in reply.
Then, the time had come. His sisters began preparing to leave. When the guard called out again, they both threw themselves against him again in a big, bear hug.
"Relax," Ichigo said with a strained chuckle, giving them both a slight squeeze before pointedly letting go, "I'll be fine. Tell Dad I'm okay."
They nodded, then retreated back to where the other visitors were slowly exiting the room. Ichigo watched, feeling slightly relieved. Though the weight of his future actions had settled grimly on his chest, he'd sort of unloaded the baggage from the past.
All that was left now was to take the big leap.
x.x
"On the night of the 31st, you'll have to figure out how to escape your cell and enter ours," Ishida explained to Shinji, over the trays of food in between them, "The guards start count at cell #73 before moving upwards. Based on my calculations, it takes approximately two minutes for them to move from cell to cell. That's an hour we have to escape through our hole, head to the doctor's office, and start making our way down the pipe before the guards figure out something's amiss."
Ichigo whistled, trying to do the math in his head but failing. He was sure, once the actual escape set into motion, his hands-on approach would come to fruition.
"Right," Shinji folded his arms, "So that's...nine o' clock?"
Ishida nodded.
"Will your guy be able to meet us then?" Chad asked quietly, from his spot opposite Ichigo.
"Morgue loadin' and unloadin' usually happens at eight," Shinji remarked, rubbing his chin grimly, "but I can talk Kensei into delaying it by an hour."
Ichigo leaned forward. "What about after? Once the van exits the grounds?"
"Our initial plan was to travel along the sea wall on foot, ducking against the shadows every two minutes the searchlight came on," Ishida stated, ignoring Ichigo's shocked frown, "But now that we have the van, we're expecting Muguruma-san to drop us off at a nearby airstrip."
"Eh, Kensei will be a little hard to convince," Shinji mused, propping his head on his chin, "We've been friends for years and he's only willing to drop me as far as the byway."
"We'll figure that out," Ishida stated, with a thoughtless wave.
"What's at the airstrip?" Ichigo asked, through chews of gravy.
"Mizuro," Chad replied. When Ichigo raised his eyebrows, he elaborated further, "with a helicopter."
"Mm," Shinji remarked, dipping his peas in a copious amount of gravy, "A tropical holiday with the lads, then?"
"You're not coming with, Hirako-san," Ishida said immediately, glaring at him. "We agreed we would part ways once the van dropped us three," he gestured to himself, Chad and Ichigo, "off at the airstrip. We are not obligated to help you any further after that."
Shinji raised his hands placatingly, a tiny grin on his face, "I was just curious, Uryu, don't be a party-pooper," he admonished, then rolled his eyes, "Not like I wanna be stuck with you losers anyway. I've got bigger plans."
"Like robbing a bank again?" Ichigo retorted, standing up to discard his tray.
Shinji made a face of mock horror. "And add to the nation's recidivism rate? I wouldn't dare!"
The other three chuckled, as Ishida and Chad got up to follow Ichigo out of the canteen. They stopped by the waste bin, dumping their discards in the trash. Once they began traipsing out of earshot and into the main courtyard, Ichigo turned to Chad and Ishida.
"We're not heading to Abuelo's?" Ichigo asked. As far as he was aware, Chad's grandfather lived at the edge of Tokyo's border, in a small residential unit. Though, that seemed to be a dangerous option, considering the police would most definitely search the city once they escaped.
Chad shook his head. "Hisaka," he replied quietly, looking around in caution as he lowered his head for them to hear, "Abuelo has a holiday house there."
Ishida nodded. "It's discrete," he explained, "Far from the mainland, low maintenance. Abuelo should be there, considering it was his ideal, erm, retirement home."
No one bothered to mention how that was the lighter term for 'the home he wanted to die in.' Ichigo felt a growing sense of dread in his belly, considering the event they had all planned for, had toiled and almost risked an organ for, was just around the corner.
"If we're leaving this weekend, I have to see Orihime," Ichigo said, rubbing the back of his neck. The prospect of saying goodbye to Orihime had been a blurred future, one that he hadn't prepared for in the slightest. But things were escalating, moving at a speed too rapid for him to process, and he realized the event he'd been pushing off had quite literally sprung one on him. "I'm gonna use the vent tonight."
"Absolutely not," Ishida said immediately, eyebrows knitted in stern warning. Before Ichigo could open his mouth, he prattled on, "There are guards at her door all through the night, Kurosaki. This isn't exactly like P.I. If you get caught, you're done for. If you don't show up in time for count, we're all done for."
"I have to see her, damn it," Ichigo snapped, eyes burning a slow, aching trail all the way to his throat.
He had to warn her. And he had to fucking say goodbye. Did Ishida not know how hard that was for him?
"Ichigo," Chad said solemnly, "If you get caught…"
"I won't," Ichigo said quickly, turning on his heel, "I swear. Fifteen minutes, that's all I'm going to take.
Ishida and Chad turned to each other with doubtful looks that were becoming more and more commonplace. They sighed in unison.
"Fine," Ishida said, shaking his head, "Fifteen minutes."
x.x
If there was a family Orihime loved more than the Teletubbies, it was the Abarais. She had spent all but an hour in their living room, looking onto a warm and modest family home, when she decided they were brilliant.
It didn't help that Renji's wife – Kuchiki Rukia – was so pretty.
"So you had to remove his entire spleen?" she asked, curling her legs on the settee they were both sharing. Her brilliantly violet eyes were wide with amusement, but also slightly glinting from the wine.
"What's a spleen?" Ichika murmured, from her place on the floor. Renji was sitting with her, though she didn't seem too entertained by his botched attempts at tiring her out so they could put her to bed. There was a guest at home and Ichika wanted in.
Orihime herself had to cut down on the alcohol, considering she had to return to the penitentiary soon, but she quite enjoyed sitting in the Abarais living room with Rukia.
"Uh-huh," she replied, sipping her apple juice delightfully, "It's honestly not that uncommon, though."
"The doc's probably seen worse," Renji said with a yawn, "Night of the riot, a guy came in with three remaining toes."
"Ewww," Ichika blurted, but softened into giggles when Renji brought his giant foot to rest in her lap. When he wriggled his toes, she hooted even louder, her sharp, barely-there teeth prodding out of her mouth.
"Gross, Renji," Rukia agreed, crinkling her nose.
"I think that's enough shop talk for tonight, babe," Renji said, tapping Rukia's knee as he stood up. "I've got all the imagery I need to fuel nightmares."
"Weak," Rukia scoffed, but her eyes were fond.
One thing Orihime had surmised pretty quickly was that Rukia was not a sociable or amicable person but when she did warm up to someone, she was a lot goofier than she put on. And watching the two parents together, Orihime felt a strange sense of tranquil. They were good together. Peaceful.
"I'm gonna haul this one off to b-e-d," Renji whispered to Rukia and Orihime, with a gleam in his eyes as he regarded Ichika. He nodded at Orihime as he bent down to pick her up, "We headin' back after, doc?"
"Oh, yes I think we should," Orihime said, setting her glass down on the table. "As much as I'd love to stick around, Kuchiki-san, we really should be clocking in for the night shift."
"Cool," Rukia shrugged, getting up. She took Orihime's empty glass from her and placed it in the kitchen sink, before beckoning Orihime to follow her, "I'll walk you to the door."
"Goodnight, Ichika-chan," Orihime cheered, bending a little to make direct eye contact with Ichika, from where she was nestled in Renji's arms. "I hope we get to hang out again."
Ichika's eyes widened. "And play with my new train set that you got me?"
Orihime laughed at the fact that she was already referring to Orihime's gift as hers. "Of course," she said with an extra serious nod, patting the top of Ichika's head. "We'll save all the civilians from the big bad monsters together, too."
Ichika nodded grimly, seeming satisfied with this proposition. Then, she tossed her head over her father's shoulder and impatiently bucked towards the inner corridors of their house, ready to settle for bed. Renji gave them a short wave and then took off towards the bedroom.
Orihime and Rukia, in the meanwhile, walked over to the front door together.
"So," Rukia started, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms, "What's it like, working with Renji?"
Orihime beamed. "He's very fun and very good at his job," she said promptly, tilting her head up to the corner, "So friendly, too. I'd definitely say he's my second favorite person at the penitentiary!"
Rukia shook her head, a short laugh spilling out of her. "Who's the first?"
Cripes! Orihime bit the inside of her cheek. She'd been doing so well all evening, holding back all the parts of herself that had been irrevocably touched by Ichigo, but it seemed she had taken it a little too easy.
Thankfully, she was saved from having to answer when Renji came back up to the front door. He was pinning his radio to his uniform sleeve, but he stopped in his tracks when he noticed both Rukia and Orihime were staring at him. "What?"
"Nothing!" Orihime squeaked, desperate to keep the conversation moving along. "Say, Kuchiki-san, Abarai-san, how did you two meet?"
It worked like a charm, because Renji wagged his eyebrows at Rukia, his tattoos bobbing up and down with them. "You wanna tell it or should I?"
Rukia rolled her eyes at him. "I was doing a piece on corruption and abuse at state centers, back when I was a rookie," she explained to Orihime, "Big doofus over here was working under my brother at the time, but we went out for a couple of drinks after and we kinda hit it off."
"You seem to conveniently leave out the part where your brother threatened to kill me after the first few dates," Renji cut in, grinning at Rukia's scowl. He noticed Orihime's confusion and his grin widened. "Big Bro Kuchiki was not happy his sister was poking her nose into his 'occupational affairs' and he was even more upset when he found out she'd snagged his lowly adjutant in the process."
"Don't say it like that!" Rukia hissed, elbowing him in the side. She turned to Orihime with an indignant and defensive look on her face. "Brother was simply doing his job and I was doing mine. Renji was just an unforeseen consequence."
"A very good-looking unforeseen consequence," Renji butted in, deeply enjoying Rukia's adamant scoff but pink cheeks.
"That sounds very dramatic," Orihime noted, with an amused smile.
"Tell me about it," Renji muttered, lightly bonking Rukia's head. Then, he nodded towards his patrol car, "Ready to go?"
"Yes!" Orihime bowed to Rukia, then gave her a wide grin. "Thank you for having me over, Kuchiki-san! I had a lot of fun."
Rukia grinned. "Swing by anytime, Dr. Inoue," she said, waving when Renji and Orihime stepped off into the lawn and towards his car.
Once they were at a considerable distance, Renji set his hands on his hips and regarded her with a small smile. "It was great havin' ya over, doc," he said with a nod. "Ichika, especially, is probably gonna have a blast wrecking that train over and over again in the coming weeks."
Orihime laughed. "Pretending to be Godzilla and rampaging a city is almost a rite of passage for adolescents, Abarai-san," she commented, slipping into the car as he unlocked the door handle on her side.
Oh? Renji remained rooted to his spot, a small frown forming on his face.
"Are you coming?" her voice called out, muffled from the closed car doors.
Renji snapped into movement, quickly sliding into the driver's seat. Once he clicked his seatbelt into place, he watched her from the corner of his eye as he adjusted the overhead mirror. "You a fan, Dr. Inoue?"
"Hmm?"
"Godzilla," he replied, ears straining cautiously despite his hands being steady as he revved up the engine.
"Big fan, Abarai-san!" Orihime cheered, pumping her hand victoriously in the air. "I love sci-fi, really, so Godzilla is just the tip of the iceberg."
"Huh." Renji exhaled, making a mental note to ask Iba if he'd noticed anything interesting about the previous week's movie night. Particularly of the Kurosaki kind.
"Is everything alright, Abarai-san?" Orihime asked. Her eyes were wide in the low light of the patrol car, innocent.
Renji sighed, feeling a little ball of dread drop in his stomach. On the outside, he shook his head. "Just tired, doc."
Whatever the kid had gotten herself into, Renji hoped she had the clarity to get herself out of it.
Or there would be hell to pay and Renji wasn't exactly sure by whom.
x.x
The blurred lights from somewhere behind the grates sharpened into focus when Ichigo came closer to the vent. Beyond the iron bars, he could see the idle shuffle of feet in the doctor's office. The faint smell of disinfectant pervaded his senses even from the low underground where he was standing.
He peered cautiously, trying to make out if the coast was clear. The retreating sound of footsteps relieved him, so he began digging his fingers into the corners of the vent to pull it off. There was a loud, unlodging sound that rang through his ears.
A loud gasp immediately followed.
"Everything alright, Dr. Inoue?" came a gruff voice that cleared up like it had come closer.
Iba. Shit!
Ichigo quickly sank back into the shadows, craning his head up just in time to see the back of Orihime's shoe slam into the metal forcefully with a 'clang!'
Ichigo winced, but got the message straight and clear. Wait.
"Everything's fine, Iba-san!" Orihime squealed, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Must be my imagination getting the best of me, again!"
"Alright," Iba mumbled, then yawned, "It's awfully late, isn't it?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes, letting out an impatient huff. Iba seemed awfully chatty today, which was really pushing on his already waning time.
"Oh, quite," Orihime agreed, however. "My sleep schedule is really off the charts these days, y'know..."
"Good lord, tell me about it."
Ichigo leaned up again. Through the grid work, all he could see were Orihime's flats and Iba's boots clicking against the tile floors. Despite the precarious situation, he felt a sudden urge to nip her ankle. He leaned forward, hiding in the space between her two calves.
"And it's fine most days, I really don't mind the work," Orihime was saying, "But Train Man was on the other day and I was upset I missed –"
Ichigo's tongue peeked out, the tip prodding her skin just so, turning her skin faintly wet.
"– it," she trailed off, her voice hitching as she seemingly caught his drift: hurry up. He heard her take a little breath, then her feet turned to Iba. "Anyway, Iba-san, I should probably block this area off for cleaning. It's a contamination zone right now and I wouldn't want you to catch something."
"Gotcha, doc," Iba remarked, his feet already stepping back. "I'll be right outside if you need me."
Ichigo waited a few more minutes until Iba's noises became completely muted. He watched the faint outline of a door closing, before Orihime's feet drew closer to the vent.
Ichigo yanked the vent off its hold, not holding his strength back this time. It came off easily, revealing a bright flood of light from the office. Ichigo blocked his eyes with one hand, staggering back. When his vision adjusted, he could see Orihime's knees bend towards him.
"Ichigo?" she whispered.
He quickly clambered through, trying not to bump into her as he made his way up. Once he was standing in her office, he dusted himself off and quickly began scrambling to place the vent covering back on its holding. Orihime rushed to his side to help him, keeping one eye on the door as they worked in unison.
Once it was back in place, Ichigo dusted his hands.
"Oh, I'm glad it was you," Orihime said, with a relieved sigh as she wiped the dust off her forehead.
Ichigo scowled. "You're saying you opened the vent to whoever licked you without knowing who it was?"
Orihime shrugged, like it was no big deal.
"Well, you never know," she explained, when he raised his brows. "I was on a conspiracy theory chatboard the other day and it said there had been a few sightings of a very Japanese variant of the Loch Ness monster around these parts." She gasped in alarm, making Ichigo's shoulders tense as well. "Oh no, I think I might have implied to Ichika-chan – I went to Abarai-san's house tonight, by the way. They have a very pretty place overlooking the bridge. Anyway, I might have told her we'll fight monsters together, but I shouldn't have encouraged that because mythical creatures are our friends and we should try to help them before we decide on attacking them." She looked imperiled. "Do you think I violated the Hippocratic Oath?"
Ichigo blinked, forgetting what he was here for for a moment. "Uh, I think that only applies to human beings, Orihime," he said slowly, his brain catching up and processing all parts of her rant.
It seemed Orihime's brain was catching up too, because she gasped loudly and dug her nails into his arm. "What are you doing here?!" she shrieked, yanking him out of view from the other inmates that were scheduled to a bed overnight. They hid behind a store closet that cloaked the view of the inside from the outside. "It's after hours!"
"I came to see you," he replied.
Her grip on his arm loosened, and she bit her lip worriedly. He had barely spoken, but she'd read him right-to-left yet again, like she could sense something was wrong.
He sighed. "Have you taken any leaves yet?"
Orihime slipped her hand from his elbow to intertwine it with his. He squeezed. She squeezed back, then shook her head.
"I need you to take the weekend off, then," he said gently, "Go home. Stay away from the clinic."
Orihime's eyes widened rapidly, then drew back again with her furrowed brows. "Is that when you're doing it?" she whispered, looking over her shoulder even though it was only the two of them in here.
Ichigo shook his head. "The less you know the better," he said grimly.
Orihime looked to the side for a long time. When she turned back to look at him, she appeared crestfallen.
"Is this goodbye for us?" she asked slowly, her efforts to keep her voice steady all but failing.
His chest tightened. "I don't know," he said honestly, running his hand up the softness of her wrist. The impending distance that would be – he could already feel it between them, cleaving his heart into two. Thinking of it made his stomach clench in the most painful way, so he tugged her to his chest to avoid the burn of it.
Orihime's hands came around his middle, her breath resorting into quick little hitches muffled into his shoulder. Ichigo pressed her head to his chest, tucking his own arms round her back as he squeezed his eyes shut. Her temple brushed against his jaw, and when her head pulled back to regard his, their cheeks were both wet.
"I don't know how to do this," he admitted faintly, cupping her cheeks in his large hands.
"Me neither," she whispered, her hand coming on top of his.
"I'm sorry," he said, pulling her back so he could smoothen the stray hair at the top of her head with his fingers.
For their past or their future? Orihime wondered.
"For getting you involved," he replied, like he could see the question written in her eyes. He braced his hands on either side of her, squeezing her upper arms. "If anything happens, seek out Abarai, alright? He'll help; he's fond of you."
Orihime's eyes, however, narrowed. She gently pulled his hands off her.
"I've lived on my own for practically forever, Ichigo," she said firmly. "I can take care of myself. I don't need to hide behind Abarai-san."
Ichigo sighed. "I wasn't trying to say you couldn't," he insisted, holding his arms open in case she would return there. He wanted her to, at least. He had fifteen minutes and he didn't want to waste it fighting. Especially when her pain and frustration was so evident in the words she used to cover them up. "I just want you to be happy, Orihime. Safe."
Orihime lunged into his arms again, clearly agreeing with him on not wasting time. "I was happy with you," she whispered, her nails digging a stinging trail into his back like she was afraid he'd disappear if he let her go.
He let out a breath, pulling her shoulder up to his mouth so he could kiss it. She smelled honey-sweet, fresh and dewy like home wrapped into something permanent. Something he'd be leaving behind. He squeezed her back tightly, pressing her flush against his chest. Her thumb came up to trace circles on his jaw, but he stalled her by kissing it.
He pulled back, scratching the back of his neck. "There's something else," he said, braving himself to meet her eyes. "If we never get to see each other again, Orihime, I want you to forget about me."
Orihime's eyes widened and he saw something falter within them.
"Well, maybe not forget about me," he said quickly, not liking the flood of tears building in her eyes, "but move on, I guess. Move on with your life...with someone else, if you have to."
Even as he was saying the words, his stomach plummeted at the thought of it. But it had to be done or he'd be holding her back from all the amazing things she could experience, with or without him.
God, this was hard.
"Ichigo," she said softly, reaching out to hold his hand. "It wouldn't be fair to whoever comes after you if I can't-if I can't love them like I love you. It's not fair to me either." She sighed. "I'd rather be faithful to my own happiness than unfaithful to someone who has no idea my heart is with someone else."
"Okay, okay. Like I said," Ichigo tried weakly to make a joke, "I'm not very good at this."
"I think you're doing okay, given the circumstances," she said softly, running her hand up the ridge of his collarbone. She rested her head on his shoulder and the forlorn look in her eyes was enough to throb dully behind his own breastbone. "How much time do we have?"
Ichigo glanced at Uryu's watch on his wrist and frowned. "Eleven minutes."
It was insufficient, but then again, anything less than an eternity with her would always come up short.
"What do you want to do?" he asked, pulling them to the floor so they could sit together unnoticed. She sank to the floor beside him, then leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Can you hold me?" she sniffed, wrapping her arms around his torso.
Ichigo returned her embrace wordlessly, cocooning her in his arms. He kissed the nape of her neck, burying his face in between her shoulder and her head.
"I love you, and I love them," he started heatedly, "and if I didn't have to choose–"
"I know," Orihime said gently. "I know, Ichigo." She pressed the flat of her hand against the back of his neck and released a shaky breath. When they pulled apart, his eyes were gentle, looking at her with a pang of regret and maybe, just a little bit of longing that pressed a hungry shudder down her spine.
"Kiss me?" she requested, eyes uncertain as they looked at each other.
Ichigo chuckled. "You don't have to ask," he remarked, tipping her chin towards his with the slight brush of his fingers.
He started at the corner of her mouth, a small peck, but she leaned into it willingly to press their lips together into a full kiss. He cupped the back of her head, tongue peeking out into the hot gap of their mouths to prod at hers. The kiss was salty, either from her tears or his, but it was gentle and tender. Oversaturated from the heaviness of the moment.
Orihime's arms locked around his shoulders, their kiss tilting until they were breathless and aching. When their chests ached for reprieve, Orihime rested her forehead on Ichigo's and closed her eyes, savouring the moment as long as she could.
"Ichigo," she mumbled quietly, as they finally pulled apart. "How will I know you're safe? Once you're out there?"
Ichigo blinked blearily, the words not yet making sense in his brain. Then, a tiny idea grew brighter. He stood up and approached her desk, pulling a sheet from under the paperweight. Shakily, he reached for a pen and began scrawling down an address.
He turned over his heel and handed the paper. "Here," he said. "I can't write to you if your mail is going to be under surveillance, so that's my lawyer. If we get out, I'll be sure to send something to you there."
"Okay," she whispered, a growing tension building in her belly. She stood up clumsily, then looked up at him with shining eyes.
It went without saying that they would miss each other terribly. Ichigo, for one, had quite liked that she could push past his epithets and his defences to see the man he liked to be – kind, honest, good. He would miss her in a feverish way that he knew would wear itself out eventually, but always press into his bones at the occasional memory of her.
And god, was she memorable.
"I should go," he said reluctantly, glancing at his watch. "It's almost time for count."
Orihime nodded, walking back to the vent with him. When they paused, she leaned on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I love you," she said, cupping his chin. "Be safe."
Ichigo couldn't swallow past the block in his throat, so he nodded. He crouched on his knees, dismantling the vent with shaky hands. When he stood up again, they stared at each other.
"We had it good," he said, reaching out for her hand so he could pull her closer. "Right?"
"We did," Orihime agreed, with a soft and dimpled smile. "Thank you."
Ichigo shook his head and kissed her nose. "Watch out for the Loch Ness," he said feebly, drawing out a small and shaky laugh from her.
He felt his own lips curve into a smile at the prospect of his last image of her being a smiling, happy one as opposed to a hurt, heartbroken one.
They didn't say goodbye – it felt all too inopportune to do so – but Ichigo leaned down one last time so she could kiss his forehead, then quickly slipped back into the vent.
And then he was gone into the shadows, just as quickly as he'd arrived.
.
Might be a while before the next chapter gets posted, considering I've got a couple of work-related things to finish up, but don't give up hope yet! I will finish this story and I will (probably) finish it faster if some of my ghost readers on here leave a favorite/review!,,,Wink-nudge,,,