Emily's POV
"I thought it would have stopped by now," I whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if the words had left my mouth.
My thoughts were now spoken out loud, jumbled in question of what appeared to be a dream but most certainly was another nightmare. That didn't matter. She would always hear me, my voice and my thoughts. She claims we are the same, a future yet to come. I couldn't believe it to be true; I didn't want it to be, and a seeing her with my own eyes made me fear to think of how I could have ended up this way.
"Why would you think that? This is only the beginning," Her voice, though holding its echo, sounded as if she were standing right behind me.
Each night it was getting harder to tell if I had really woken up or if I was only left with false awakenings. There was no hiding from it anymore, no running away, only waiting patiently in the dark letting my own voice taunt me until I would wake up. There seemed to be a pattern I understood as these dreams were reoccurring, always the same...always horrifying.
"Why are you scared?"
My stomach sank as I heard my own voice fill my ears, her words filled with disappointment as I showed a sign of weakness. She didn't like that. She wanted me to be someone I'm not, someone strong.
"I just want to wake up...please."
Again my words were faint, my eyes still remaining shut tightly in fear that I would have to face myself again.
"First, you must see what you could become," her voice taunted, the echo filling my ears, "Don't be afraid, open your eyes."
As the echo left, so did the silence. In its replacement was the sound of the jungle, creatures I was familiar with, the thick humidity engulfing around the never-ending sea of green trees, tangled with climbing moss and hanging vines. I opened my eyes to see exactly what I had pictured, but there was something that seemed off, something was out of place.
In the distance, I instantly caught sight of a fire set ablaze bringing light to the darkness of the jungle. I could only see a speck of its flames, the smallest flicker like a candle almost burnt out. Curiously I lifted my feet across the ground. I knew I had only taken two steps ahead, having no intention of getting up close to the burning light but it had pulled forward, a stretch in time, quickly moving ahead in the distance that everything became a blur until I was standing before it. The flames effortlessly danced along the ground, ruthlessly tearing up the trees bringing them down several at a time, the crackling and snapping of wood following shortly after. I was sure that if this weren't a dream I would have been burned by now standing this close to the flames.
Dragging my feet back behind me, I managed to move a safe distance away from the raging fire that continued to burn out of control. The golden flames were almost entrancing, what could hold its own energy and warmth could also be the key to destruction, a fire so small in place like Neverland could wipe out the entire island, burn it to ash if it was left untamed, uncontrolled, but this fire was not set on its own, it held a direct path with a purpose to destroy what lies before it and it's tamer was soon caught in the midst of the burning flames, a dark figure, a person who had not been standing there before. They stood still, their chest rising and falling; breathing in the flames as together they moved as one, a whole body, a part of them. She lifted her head, dark frayed loose strands of hair swiftly moving across her face, features stilled under her hood, the worn out material of her cloak moving with the wind that whipped at the flames but never caught light. I had seen her eyes before, but confronting them still left my legs stiff in their solid stance, the orbs glowing brightly, unlike any person they were abnormal, mirroring the shades of the sun-filled flames.
She wasn't standing alone.
My eyes filled, blurring with a painful sting until they were forced to stray, coating my cheeks as I stared at the boy who was lying lifeless in her arms. His eyes were ghost-like, staring out to the distance holding no remaining life inside, his skin coated below his neck in a dark red, sinking into the material and staining his clothes, while his legs were limp against the ground, flames washing over them, but again, never catching light. She held him, arms around him almost protectively but there was no emotion held behind her glowing eyes, her featured stilled as if she wasn't supposed to be there, instead, waiting for me to take her place, see it through her eyes...my own eyes. But how could I watch my best friend die? How could I bear the thought that I could have been the one responsible?
"W-Will..." I whispered, hearing my own broken voice fill my ears, but I wasn't the only one.
She snapped her head in my direction, instantly taking my breath away as those piercing flamed eyes met with mine. I could only watch as she let Will slip through her fingers, his limp body hitting the ground with a thud causing something in my chest to rip apart. Her eyes never left mine as she walked over him, her cloak brushing over his still body bringing the flames over him, the fire now catching light to his blood-stained clothes, burning away at the material causing a rusted salt to fill the heated air, taking over my senses, my stomach turning at the smell.
The flames followed her as she walked in my direction now completely burying Will's body until I could no longer see him. They grew stronger, higher, breathing in sync with her, a living light of destruction in her control and she wanted to use it to get to me. I thought the worst, my mind spiralling with outcomes that only led me to join Will in those flames. She was getting closer and I couldn't move, I felt helpless in my own mind, my own nightmares that seemed so real. I thought I should give up, that there was nothing I could possibly do...that's when I heard Fin's voice find its way back to me, circling in my mind as he spoke loud and clear. I remember what he had told me, I remember the pain in his eyes as he made sure I heard him, that I listened to his warning.
"P-Please, please don't hurt Will..."
I didn't want to.
It wasn't me...it was her.
I would never do that to him!
"This isn't real!" I shouted over the crackling of branches she snapped under her bare feet, the last of my tears leaving my eyes, "You're not real, so stop doing this to me!"
"Oh really, I'm not real?" She challenged, a grin rising to her lips, the anger remaining permanently settled in her eyes, "Then how do you suppose I do this?"
My face fell as she moved her hand out in front of her bringing forth a wave of flames that moved at her command, the burning heat reaching my feet and this time I could feel it. The fire burned at my skin, leaving a stinging patch around my ankles, my legs instantly stumbling back to avoid the fire. She let out a low chuckle in amusement as I continued to move away from her. I couldn't turn my back and run, she wouldn't let me. She wanted me to face her, see what she could do...what she wanted me to do.
"Whatever it is you want me to become, it won't happen. I will never become someone like you!"
"Must we keep going in circles?" She sighed, "You're like a dog biting its own tail. When are you going to understand that I am you?"
Hearing my own voice made me question whether what she says could be true, but seeing what she has done, the torment she has made me watch her put others through is beyond anything I could imagine. She insists I will become her that it will come to pass in the future, but I won't let it.
"This is just another nightmare. I just need to wait-"
"Wait?" She repeated, her head slightly tilting, faking her own curiosity, "For what? This to be over?"
I kept my silence which only caused her eyes to narrow.
"The only way for this to end is when you accept who you really are. Until then, I'll be here waiting, but we are running out of time so if you can't make up your mind, I'll have to visit you outside your dreams."
No...
"Emily."
I stopped in my tracks, already knowing who the voice belonged to. I turned around even though she continued to walk closer, to my surprise, finally, I was able to have control of myself. Pan remained in his fixed state, his expression calm as he ignored the burning fire behind me, a sigh escaping his lips as his eyes met mine.
"You won't let me inside your head but you let her instead? It's good to see you're always making the right choices," Pan said sarcastically while I was left in a panic knowing that a blazing fire was about to reach my feet.
"You don't understand, I'm not dreaming, this is real this is-" I stopped myself short as Pan impaled his hand straight through my chest.
My lips parted as I hesitantly looked down to see Pan retrieving his hand back, his arm fading in smoke as it left my body, forming back to normal as it rested by his side.
"Knowing how stubborn you are, I think that was enough for you to realise that this isn't real."
Maybe Pan was right, maybe this wasn't real...but that doesn't explain why I can feel my legs burning. I don't understand what she wants from me, why she keeps doing this to me, why she keeps hurting the people I care about most. How can I look at her and believe that is what I will become. I won't let it happen, I wouldn't let myself be turned into a monster.
"Pan, make this stop," I demanded as I heard her laughter echo through the trees behind me.
"This isn't my doing, it's yours. It's up to you to get yourself out of here." Pan said, his voice hinting no sympathy.
"I've tried! I can't do it! She won't let me-"
"No, you're not letting yourself," Pan interrupted sternly, "This is your nightmare, you created it and you can wake yourself up."
My nightmare?
Why would I keep doing this to myself?
I slowly turned around trying to contain my thoughts as I faced the burning flames. The heat definitely felt real. It burned away whatever it touched creating a thick smoke to rise into the air, engulfing my lungs leaving only short breaths to escape my lips. She stood within them but I couldn't look into her eyes, I already saw a mirrored image of them in the flames, the anger burning as they moved closer...as she moved closer.
It's not real...
I held my breath, my legs remaining stiff as I watched the fire move along the ground, burning the green undergrowth in a second until finally it quickly reached my feet, wrapping around my legs and continued on burning the ground behind me. I stared down at the fire, my chest rising and falling quickly as I breathed in the smoke-filled air. It was chocking my lungs, closing up the airways, but that didn't seem to matter since I couldn't feel any pain. The flames...were cold.
"See, you should listen to me more often," Pan said over my shoulder, his voice cut clear, not in the slightest bit affected by the smoke.
I turned back around to Pan, my attention as always focused on his forest green eyes that looked almost as if they were glowing, capturing the reflection of the fire burning at our feet...and that is where my eyes fell to.
"What's wrong?" Pan asked, taking a step closer.
"I'm still here," I mumbled, lifting my head. "Why haven't I woken up?"
I watched his eyes flicker behind me for a moment and I knew the reason.
"I told you, I can't do it," I said quietly, "It never works."
I heard another branch snap loudly under her feet, this time sending my stomach turning in a knot as the nerves I had tried to ignore forced their way back. I knew she was behind me, I knew I had to face her eventually as that was how every nightmare finally ended. I would have to stare into those piercing angered eyes and cower under her threatening tone; she wouldn't let me wake up until the message had sunk in until I understood that she was going to keep coming back until I accept we are the same. I thought this wouldn't be any different, but I was wrong.
I felt a pair of hands place gently against my arms and looked into his green eyes, they were focused on me, on my reaction, his attention never averting for a second. It was enough to keep me still, as just a glance was all it took. But then I read his eyes; vibrant, controlled, attentive, just like hers...just like mine, and suddenly that fear was directed to Pan as I often forgot who was standing in front of me. Someone who's voice was calm yet threatening, eyes holding more complex emotions contrasted against his fixed expression, hinting no fear or discomfort in the worst of situations that anyone else would be forced to snap in their right mind.
It was Pan who I could never come to understand completely. I never knew what he could be planning, whether he could turn from a simple boy with mischievous intentions to becoming someone that is willing to kill others in order to maintain control. It was all Pan, and that was what scared me, especially when the words that came out of his mouth next only proved the unknowing changes he can make.
"Can you trust me?"
When I kept silent he only scoffed, a grin settling on his face, probably already expecting my response.
"Now here I am going out of my way to help you and you still won't change."
"I didn't ask for your help," I muttered.
"You didn't have to," Pan said simply, his tone clearly suggesting it was obvious enough.
This made my fists curl.
"I am not the nicest person, far from it actually, but doesn't that make things more thrilling? Not knowing what will happen next..." Pan smirked, lifting my chin with the tips of his fingers, "And you make it all the more interesting."
I turned my head to the side causing his fingers to slip. He only chuckled, bringing back his hand before looking at me with a changed expression.
"We all have our demons, they lurk inside of us. Some are worse than others and some are undiscovered yet, like yours. You see, I keep mine under control, they stay within me and act accordingly when I want them to, but you..." Pan paused as his eyes shifted behind me, "Well, you have seen what happens when you let them out and they get out of control. It's a choice Emily, and eventually, it will be up to you to choose."
"If it's a choice, why are you choosing to be bad?"
I was hoping he could give me a reason behind all his torment, but how could I expect Pan to not be...Pan.
"Bad?" Pan chuckled, "I see it more as entertaining."
I scoffed at his answer.
"You're crazy, you know that?"
"Mm perhaps, but it's more fun that way," He smirked as his eyes darted behind me for a second, "Speaking of fun"
It was only now that I felt that bundle in my stomach twist as I watched Pan look over my shoulder. I knew the both of them were waiting for me to turn around but I couldn't. I had to wake up. I couldn't face her again. I couldn't give her what she wanted.
"Pan, stop this, I don't care what you have to do, just get me out of here!"
"Oh, so now you're admitting you want my help?" Pan grinned.
"I'm not admitting to anything," I said through gritted teeth.
"You're stubbornness never ceases to amaze me," Pan said sarcastically, holding a blank expression as he moved closer towards me.
I couldn't blink by the time his hand had reached my neck, his fingers holding onto the black string before pulling it up, lifting the stone that had remained hidden beneath my top. It was enough to make me flinch away at his actions but my feet kept their stance as I knew she was standing waiting for me. I could only glare up at Pan, as per usual, I would never know what could happen next, which was only proven as Pan held the stone for no more than a few seconds, waiting until it began glowing before releasing it. He stood back looking at me with a rather fond yet stiff expression.
"I see you kept it on," Pan grinned, "Smart girl."
"What have you done?" I asked quickly, my eyes squinting down at the stone that was almost blinding.
"I have no intention of hurting you," I watched as his eyes trailed behind me before they met with mine once more, "but she can and she will."
"Why is she doing this?" I asked quickly as Pan began to take a few steps back.
Pan raised a brow as he moved back with the flames.
"That's a question you should be asking yourself, Emily. Why are you doing this?"
After the words had left his mouth, Pan disappeared, his voice left in a whisper while everything around me returned back to how it was. The flames I was standing in began to burn my legs, the heat of the smoke continued to tear at my lungs once more and her footsteps...my footsteps had reached a stop behind me as if everything had been frozen in place until Pan was gone.
The stone was still glowing, now much brighter than before that I could no longer look down at it. A sharp whistling sound came from the stone around my neck. I quickly grabbed hold of it to throw it away but as soon as I touched it, I woke up. The fire was gone, so was the jungle and she was no longer with me. I quickly sat up from my bed, my heart racing and my clothes damp with sweat. This is how I have been waking up each day but this time was worse, far beyond compare with the other nights, especially since Pan was there.
It was just a nightmare...
The stone was still glowing, only now losing the light that almost blinded me before. I quickly grabbed hold of it, removing it from my neck and threw it across my hut, watching as it hit the bamboo-lined wall before dropping to the floor. A chiming sound echoed in the room as the stone made contact with the floorboards.
I stared at it from my bed, the brightness emanating now dimming to its original form, but the uneasy feeling remained. For the first time, there was something that was able to be carried from the nightmare to my own waking-consciousness, the glowing stone, a warning, a realisation that it could be real.
"The only way for this to end is when you accept who you really are. Until then, I'll be here waiting, but we are running out of time so if you can't make up your mind, I'll have to visit you outside your dreams..."
"It can't be real...she can't be real," I whispered to myself as I stared at the stone. "How could it be possible?"
The constant thoughts lingered in my head. I had questions I couldn't find the answer to, I couldn't find them here...not here.
I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep, my eyes heavy in exhaustion but before they could shut I stood to my feet, pulling myself awake. I couldn't go back to sleep, no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much I needed to, I couldn't...not after what she said and certainly not after seeing Pan there too. There was a coursing thought that I have tried to ignore until now but I still couldn't help but wonder if Pan was doing this, if this was just another trick he was playing, another one of his games, but if it was, why did he end up helping me wake up?
"I have no intention of hurting you, but she can and she will..."
I shook my thoughts away, lifting my feet up and slowly managing to change out of my sweat-filled clothes before dragging myself to the door of my hut. I pulled it open, my eyes adjusting to the morning light to see campus empty, not a lost boy in sight until I reached the gravel path. Then I could see only one boy, one in particular that I did not know to be the same as the others, one with hidden intentions who I wasn't sure I could trust yet, more to prove my point as I watched him walk out of Pan's hut, shoving his hand quickly beneath his cloak, eyes peeled as they scanned campus to see if anyone was watching, then stopping swiftly, not in any sign of distress as they met mine.
Will's POV
I moved between the last of the group of boys as they began walking to the training area, my eyes set on what I thought was someone moving through the trees into the line of jungle, no path to follow yet they set their pace knowingly, not breaking a step as they continued on. I stood on my own, the campus now silenced from the boys' endless chatter and footsteps. I thought I saw Baelfire set off for the jungle after we were given instructions to begin training, but I was wrong. Now at a clear glance, it wasn't him, it was Pan.
"Hey Will, you know the training area's this way, right?" Ben's voice called.
"Just go on without me," I shouted back, my eyes narrowing as I stared at the opening where Pan had entered.
"Alright, but if Pan catches you and you get your ass kicked again, I'm definitely saying I told you so!"
"Not if I catch him first," I mumbled under my breath, my feet already taking their strides into the uneven ground.
I tried to keep my vision ahead to ensure I wouldn't end up running into Pan but my eyes kept moving to the fallen branches; the vines that wrapped around them and all the dead leaves that scattered between that were ready to be crushed under my feet. I chose my path carefully, even though there was no path to follow, I made every attempt to avoid what could get me caught. It wasn't until I heard Pan's voice that I instantly hid behind the nearest tree, my back sealed against the rough outer layer of bark, listening carefully as I heard a voice responding to Pan, one I had never heard of before.
I contemplated whether I should risk getting seen by the two but as the unknown voice continued, my curiosity grew too much to ignore. I carefully turned around so that my front was now against the tree, waiting a moment before ever so slightly moving my head to the side enough to catch a glimpse of the pair. I saw who was not standing but floating in the air before Pan, one other than the shadow itself, the casted figure mirroring the darkness of the night sky, outlining the shape of a man with brightly rounded glowing eyes.
I have seen the shadow before as did the rest of the boys. We would watch it bring down the next lost boy from the highest skies to the drop off zone. That seemed to serve its only purpose, to bring the boys to the island under Pan's command. I always heard the other boys speak of the shadow bringing them to Neverland, that they remember distant memories of how the shadow had flown them to the island, but everything before that, who they were, was wiped clean, as if it never existed in the first place, as if it were meant to be forgotten. I was no different; I don't remember who I was or where I came from before Neverland. It seemed so long ago that I couldn't think of anything except my life here on the island, but there is one thing I haven't admitted to the other boys, something I seemed to have let go so easily...I don't remember the shadow bringing me to Neverland.
"The species went extinct," The shadow's voice claimed, holding a questionable manner as it stared down at the screecher at Pan's feet.
"They never did. I told the lost boys that to ensure they weren't afraid of them causing any more harm," Pan paused, his eyes narrowing down at the screechers that lay dead at his feet, "They kept breeding, their numbers growing each passing day and soon enough they were out of control. They took over the island, mostly the area around campus, making it unsafe, so like the rest, I trapped them on the far side of the island, using my magic to create a barrier around the dreamshade forest. What I can't understand is how they got out."
"Unless someone opened the barrier."
Pan's head instantly shot up, his cold gaze set on the shadow.
"That's impossible. The screechers are night-hunters; they will attack anything they can pull the flesh off of. No one will go near the barrier, not if they are trying to get themselves killed by what's inside or by me. I'm the only one that can open it and I can assure you, everyone knows that part of the island is off limits."
That was one thing Pan always made clear. No one, under no circumstances could go to the far side of the island. The dreamshade forest was the reason why. No lost boy has ever seen it, we have only heard horrifying stories of the monstrous creatures trapped inside the barrier. The forest itself has the deadliest poison running through every tree that grows, their branches covered by the sharpest thorns, dripping with the thick black substance that stood out ready to pierce the skin, injecting a fast-spreading poison that could kill anyone, no matter how powerful. If it reaches your heart, you're likely to die within a couple hours. The barrier Pan created surrounds every last root of the forest, keeping the poison from spreading to the rest of the island, but even still, no one would ever in their right mind go near there, you would be breaking Pan's rules and be asking to get yourself killed.
"This is the least of my concerns," Pan said dismissively.
I noticed his expression stiffen, his fists curling into his palms until his knuckles turned white. I don't think I've ever seen Pan so tense before.
"There's something wrong, it's getting worse," Pan exhaled in frustration.
"You're running out of time," The shadow's voice spoke swiftly causing my brows to furrow in confusion.
"I have enough time to manage for now."
"And what of the boy?" The shadow's eyes narrowed.
"Baelfire hasn't done much to what I had expected, but I'm not going to let him run around for long. Once I find out what I need to know, he will no longer have any use to me."
I knew Baelfire escaped the island. There was no way the pirates could have had him this whole time, not Baelifre, he's smarter than that. He came back to the island for a reason...one he didn't want anyone else knowing about, not even Pan. Now I just had to figure out why before Pan does, there's no telling what he will do to get the answers he needs, especially from a boy who had once been so loyal that escaping the island seemed to be the last thing any one of us would think Baelfire was capable of.
"I suppose you were intending to kill the boy?"
"No, he deserves something far worse for what he's done. I think he should keep the rest of the screechers company in the dreamshade forest once I'm done with him."
"Don't let him slip out of your reach again," the shadow spoke, its tone lowered as it moved back with the wind.
Hearing the shadow threatening Pan was terrifying. I had heard of the shadow many times, most of us believed that it did not speak, but hearing it now proved we were all wrong. Its figure kept an uneasy feeling resting in my stomach as I watched it remain conformed together despite being able to see the trees through it. I would only float above the ground, never able to stand alongside anyone else as it towered above, cut out in the shape of a man while holding an unknown presence behind those glowing eyes.
Pan didn't seem fazed at all, keeping his eyes fixed attentively on the shadow but I was drawn to the shadow's eyes even though they were gazing down at Pan. I couldn't look away until the figure abruptly turned to my direction so suddenly it completely caught me off guard. I was quick to hit my back against the trunk of the tree, my arms struck by my sides as I breathed heavily. That's all I could hear as the jungle fell quiet, nothing more than the wind brushing past the leaves of the highest branches around me. I could no longer hear the shadow or Pan, it was dead-silent.
I waited, gnawing at my lip until finally settling my thoughts as I slowly looked past the tree I was hiding behind only to see that both the shadow and Pan were gone, vanished from where they were just standing. I pulled myself away from the tree, my feet stumbling back around the roots torn in and out of the ground while I was left staring at the opening in the jungle. I could only pull my attention away once I thought of the only thing I could do. Run.
How could I think it was that easy.
My first step was broken as a branch snapped beneath my feet causing the sudden noise to fill the jungle. I couldn't think of taking another step forward as a pair of hands seemed to have appeared out of thin air, their grip reaching straight for the collar of my shirt, angered breaths following soon behind. Their fists tightened around the thin material, pulling it around the back of my neck, and in the process, the force they used was enough to lift me off my feet. I fell backward, my back soon hitting the exact tree I had been hiding behind leaving a painful groan to escape my lips. He didn't give it a second thought as he held me there, back pressed against the tree as I finally met those sharp green eyes that were fuming in anger as they looked down on me.
I couldn't help but stay still, an uneasy sigh escaping my lips as I shut my eyes momentarily, dreading the thought that I was now going to face Pan...if it wasn't for that stupid branch. I noticed as his nostrils flared as he watched my movements, eyes narrowing as if he had just read my thoughts.
"Oh please, did you really think a branch gave you away?" Pan sneered through gritted teeth, "You should know me far better than that."
"You're right. I know enough to wait until everyone is out of sight if I don't want to be followed. It's the basics, Pan. You taught them to us but perhaps you forgot your own rules," I challenged.
A smirk curled through his lips yet his eyes stared daggers.
"You were always good at sneaking around and listening in to things you shouldn't, but you're also very good at getting yourself caught."
"Is there something you don't want me knowing about, Pan? Something the matter?" I teased mockingly remembering what he had told the shadow.
I know I was pushing his limits but I also know he is hiding something.
Pan's eyes flickered as he moved closer, his jaw clenched shut until he spoke.
"I'm going to let you in on a little secret," His tone would sound convincing enough to anyone else but I could hear the underlining threat that followed. It was only when he continued that my face fell at the unexpected turn. "While Emily was in my hut for those days after the test, we made a deal that I would leave you alone if she simply stopped the secrets and told me what I needed to hear."
I could feel my fists curling as I glared at Pan, repeating his words until I remembered what Emily had said.
"I know Pan will keep trying to get through to me...but at least he won't bother you anymore..."
And he hadn't...I was just too stupid to understand what she really meant at the time.
"She shouldn't have done that..." I mumbled to myself but that didn't stop an amused chuckle to fill my ears.
"Leave her out of your deals," I growled before raising my voice, "I told you I don't want her getting involved! I don't care what you do, even if you go after me instead, just leave her out of it!"
Pan grinned at my outburst, a light chuckle leaving his lips as he released his hands from me and adjusted my shirt, a look of understanding changing his expression. I knew Pan's attempt to 'care' was indeed a part of his charming persona, one that could fool anyone into thinking he was actually being nice, thoughtful...anything but himself, but he was right, I knew him far better than that.
"Oh, how noble of you," Pan chimed, the green flecks in his eyes glistening as he continued, "I think your attachment to this girl brings all the fun in using her against you. Trust me when I say I would rather beat up you then punish a girl."
"She may be a girl but we both know she can go up against you."
"Really? Well, perhaps you forgot who you're talking to because you would know better than anyone of how that would turn out."
Everyone knew that. Maybe no one is strong enough to go against Pan's magic, that much is clear, but Emily did something different, something no one has done before.
She is able to block Pan out of her head...
"Yes I do, but she's different. She is strong enough to get you out of her head. Now that's something we both know can put you on edge," My eyes narrowed as I let my anger over-take my words, "The control freak that you are just can't stand the thought of it."
My breath was cut off as Pan's hand wrapped around my neck, his grip tightening instantly, sending my hand straight to his wrist. His eyes set ablaze, his face stiff holding no intention of letting go. It caused our mutual hatred of each other to only grow stronger.
"You know, I can easily go back on that deal without a second thought but I'm going to make it easier for both of us since you clearly aren't getting it. Her dreams...the nightmares-"
"W-What do you k-know about!-"
"I don't. So your job is to be the good little friend of hers you are and find out for me," Pan growled as he let go of my throat, replacing it with his dagger giving me not even a second to breathe before he continued, "You're going to tell me exactly what she sees and don't even think about lying to me."
I let out careful breaths as Pan kept the pressure of the blade firm against my skin but that didn't stop me from holding back.
"What? Because you can't get back inside her head again, is that why? Your possessive side is showing a little too much, don't you think, Pan? You just can't handle not having control over everyone on this damn island."
Pan let out a light chuckle his eyes falling to the ground as he exhaled slowly. Once he regained his composure I knew I had really trialled his patience as I felt a slight sting at my neck, a warm familiar substance slowly falling down my skin shortly after. His eyes were focused on mine, never did he blink or look away causing me to fall trapped as I stared at his blown pupils, the bright green barely visible. I should be scared, I was sure there was a part of me that would still tremble in fear but I just couldn't feel it anymore.
"Believe me, William, it's a lot bigger than that. I've warned you about getting in trouble but you just keep pushing, you keep sneaking around doing stuff like this that you know will get you caught but that doesn't stop you. How much is it going to take for it to really sink in, how far will you go, until you push it too far?"
"I guess I'll just have to wait and find out," I daringly spoke.
Pan released his hold of me, pulling away the blade from my neck and I could see from the corner of my eyes that it was covered in blood. I kept my gaze only on Pan, attempting to ignore the stinging pain below my chin, watching him wipe the blade clean on my clothed shoulder.
"Yes you will, an adventure unlike any other," Pan said as he placed his dagger back in his belt.
I pushed myself away from the tree already feeling the bruises forming but as I did Pan raised a brow, his expression turning questionably.
"Oh, did you think we were finished?" Pan asked before a wicked grin spread across his face. "Don't you remember, Will? We have training."
I couldn't say anything as Pan made the both of us disappear. My stomach felt as if it had dropped to my feet, my head spinning for a moment until I blinked open my eyes to see myself bounded down to one of the targets, ropes suspending my wrists back behind the large wooden board. Pan stood before me with a look of satisfaction.
"This really does give a whole new meaning to target practice, don't you think, Will?" Pan chuckled.
Pan didn't give me any time to respond as he disappeared from in front of me. I soon found him by Felix's side where he stood lined up with my target. My eyes widened as I noticed his arrow had already been drawn, slipping through his fingers and in a split second hit the target. I felt the vibration move through the wood, my body strapped frozen against it as I tried to calm my breathing. I managed to pull myself out of the temporary shock as I felt Felix's arrow by the side of my head.
This isn't the first time this has happened to me but it looks like it won't be the last either. The only difference is none of the other boys knew what was going on. Felix even looked taken back as he broke out of his stance, unaware that I had been pinned here.
Pan's POV
"What a shame...it missed," I said dismissively, a smirk settling on my face as I watched Will heave against the target.
"Let's try not to miss our targets next time, shall we Felix?" I said, quickly capturing his attention was pulled away from Will as he turned to me.
"Yes, Pan."
Felix waited, his brows furrowing ever so slightly until I tilted my head in Will's direction. It didn't take another second as Felix understood my intentions straight away and took his stance again, drawing his arrow back. I watched as he focused immensely on the target that was still blocked by Will's body, his movements never changing. He didn't hesitate for a second, he only continued as if Will wasn't there at all, correcting his posture and pulling the bow's string back by the side of his chin.
I watched Felix's fingers slipping as they strained back ready to let go. Once the arrow was released I kept my eyes on it, using my magic at the last moment to release Will from the target. As he fell toward to the ground, the arrow just missed him hitting the exact bullseye where it would have pierced into Will's chest.
I grinned as Will's eyes met mine from across the grass field.
Ever try to follow me again and I'll shoot you myself, understand?
The look on Will's face was enough for me to know he won't try this again, and if he does, he'll know what to look forward to.
Emily's POV
It's all in my head...it's all in my head.
You're not really here...
"Haven't you figured it out by now? Wherever you go, I follow."
But you can't...I'm not...I'm not dreaming.
"No, you're not, so open your eyes."
Those last words of my own voice echoed in a whisper, shallow ringing in my ears following after until I snapped my eyes open causing her voice and the ringing to be silenced, cut off and replaced by footsteps and loud chatter of the lost boys around me. I was left struggling to piece together what I last remembered as I stood in the middle of the training area. All of the boys were here, training normally as if nothing was wrong.
Maybe there was nothing wrong, maybe this was all happening inside my head...but that doesn't explain why I don't remember how I got here.
"Emily? Are you alright?"
I turned to Baelfire who was standing beside me with my bow in his hand. I could see his confusion mirrored mine as he handed me my bow. It was enough to trigger my memory of seeing him walk out of Pan's hut back at campus...but that was just a moment ago.
"How did we get here?" I asked Baelfire whose brows furrowed as he placed an arrow to his own bow.
"What do you mean? We walked here," Baelfire chuckled but once he turned to me and noticed I was completely serious he seemed to be more worried than I was. "Do you not remember anything?"
"I'll be here waiting, but we are running out of time so if you can't make up your mind, I'll have to visit you outside your dreams..."
It's not possible.
She's just in my head.
My grip tightened around my bow as I tried to calm my irrational thoughts. If I just keep my mind focused on something else, I won't go daydreaming again...I won't see her again.
"I just need to get something off my mind," I said quietly to Baelfire, my lips sealing straight after.
Not another word or thought crossed my mind as I walked to the long line of targets, my surroundings seemed to have subsided as I blocked them out but I only noticed once I was standing before the target. I have to ignore her, if I don't she will only make things worse.
"I'll have to visit you outside your dreams..."
Why...why do I keep thinking about what she said? I had nothing to fear because I knew she wasn't real, I knew it was only happening inside my head. There was no other explanation...yet her voice, my own voice, still finds a way, taunting me to accept something that is impossible.
I won't let her.
I reached my hand back over my shoulder, my fingers brushing against the fletching until I pulled an arrow back, positioning it against my bow. I don't remember getting my quiver but I guess it just so happened to be there just as I happened to be here without realising it. I corrected my stance, now with enough confidence after many training sessions, I drew the arrow back my eyes focused on the target ahead, fingers curling steadily, soon extending as I slowly withdrew them from the arrow. I watched the arrow-head stab into the target and as it did so my skin ran cold, shivers trailing my skin causing the fine hairs to stand.
I couldn't blink as I stared at her from across the field, her splitting image was the same as mine but she was beyond different. Even from this distance away, the black veins that invaded her body were still spread across her skin like dead roots, clothes torn while her eyes were the most captivating of all, drawing you in, keeping you drained so you couldn't look away, the glowing pair watching your every move.
This can't be real...she can't be here.
This was just another nightmare.
I took the skin of my forearm between my two fingers, pinching as hard as I could until I was forced to pull away. It allowed the nerves to finally settle in for good.
She was here.
"Of course I am. Are you really that surprised? I did say I was going to visit you, it would be rude if I didn't."
The distance between us didn't stop me from hearing her words. They were so clear she could have been standing right beside me, whispering them in my ear and I wouldn't know the difference.
"I am quite sorry but I told you we are running out of time," She apologised with a smile, "have you made up your mind yet?" She asked, her grin widening, "Maybe I should do it for you, make it a little easier for the both of us, hm?"
No.
"No?" She repeated, her grin instantly falling from her lips, her tone evidently changing.
I watched as she lifted her bare feet between the long strands of grass, her eyes remaining set with mine as she began to walk across the field. I turned my head quickly, my eyes scurrying to the boys around me to see if they had noticed her standing in the fields but they carried on training as if nothing was happening. They couldn't see her.
"Of course they can't. It's just you and me, Emily."
My hands remained tight around my bow, my sweaty palms only making it harder for me to maintain my hold on the carved wood. I had to get rid of her.
"You know what you want to do." She taunted.
I didn't hesitate to reach for another arrow, pulling it back against my bow and holding my stance as I watched her movements.
"Go on, take your best shot. Let me prove to you that there's no escaping me."
I released the arrow watching it fly past her, whipping her hair as it just missed her, leaving the arrow to pierce the target. A smirk curled through her lips, an amused chuckle soon followed as she looked back at the target where the arrowhead had hit the very edge.
"Oh, you're going to have to do a lot better than that."
I pulled another arrow back, faster this time. As I get go and watched it shoot through the field of grass I already had the next arrow lined up. I thought this was my one chance to make sense of things, that I could finally figure out if she was really here or if I was just losing my mind. I walked towards her as she kept still, arrows still flying in her direction but I couldn't hit her no matter how hard I tried.
"That's because you're weak," she spat.
I'm not weak!
"Really? Then how do you suppose I'm still here when you thought you defeated me in the test?"
What...
How could that be possible? I-I made it through the barrier, I finished the test...I defeated her...I know I did.
"No, you only believed you did. I can make you think anything is real, Emily. How do you think I'm standing here right now? You're the only one that can see me, no one else knows what's going on in here," She said, pointing her finger to her temple. "I can toy with your mind for as long as I want, that is until you finally accept that we are the same. But you won't, so I'll show you what's real."
Never had I been so close to staring myself in the eyes, a reflection that showed what I could become made me terrified of myself. She stood right before me, my eyes widening as her hand reached out for my neck, pushing me back, my stomach reacting to fall but instead, I hit the target instead, my arrows surrounding me as she pinned me there. It was then that my skin ran cold, my panted breaths were drawn back, caught in my throat, chest stilled as I felt her grip at my neck. For once her appearance was not what feared me most as I felt her touch my skin, hand warm to the touch, her presence had never been so clear until now.
She was really here, she was real...this nightmare was real.
My state of shock continued as she let go of me. I kept still against the target, not daring to move as I watched her grab my bow that had remained stiff in my hand, a sinister smirk playing at her lips while those glowing eyes grew brighter, never blinking, only staring down at me.
"Why don't we do some target practice, hm? That should show you. It is after all his favourite game."
I froze still as she reached behind my shoulder, pulling an arrow from my quiver, her eyes never leaving mine. I could see the anger that filled them; I had felt it so many times in the past but staring into my own eyes made me see it all back for myself...what I went through, it was all reflected in her...but for a different reason.
I knew she was playing a dangerous game; the only problem was I had no idea how to wake myself up from this one. If this is real, how could I wake up?
I watched her disappear snapping me out of her trance. It didn't take long to find her again, as she stood exactly where I first saw her on the other side of the field. I didn't have time to consider what I should do as she had already drawn the arrow back, her stance perfectly inline while I could only watch as the arrow was released, shooting straight for me and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
There was only one thing I could think of that might work. If this really was just another nightmare, if my mind was playing tricks on me...if she really isn't here then I just have to let the arrow hit me, and then I can finally wake up.
My thoughts enabled me to calmly close my eyes but just as they shut I felt an impact collide with the side of my body. I wasn't exactly sure what had happened until I opened my eyes, and then it was clear.
We moved only a small distance from the target, a pair of green eyes stared down at me in confusion, irritation coating his words as he released me.
"I thought I taught you better than that."
I looked past Pan to the target where the arrow had hit exactly where I was standing. That was when everything fell in place, the moment I finally knew she was here and that I wasn't dreaming. That only made me fear her even more.
"Mind telling me why you decided to stand in front of a target?" Pan asked but I could only stumble with my feet as I tried to turn around to the line of shooters. My breath hitching as she was no longer standing there.
"D-Did you see her?" I mumbled.
"Her?"
Pan sounded confused until I heard a frustrated breath escape his lips, his footsteps suddenly closing in on me. It wasn't long until he stood before me but I stuck staring where she stood just a couple seconds ago. Pan must have been talking, I didn't let myself hear what he was saying which must have made him lose whatever patience he had left.
"What did you see?" Pan said firmly.
There's no way I could tell Pan what I saw. He wouldn't believe me.
"Nothing."
I finally looked to Pan only to see his angered expression settle into the smallest amount of composure he had left.
"Looks like I am going to have to call on a little friend after all."
Before I had a chance to question what Pan meant he grabbed hold of my arm, using his magic to make us disappear to the middle of the training area. I could hardly stand on my own two feet, that were still shaken from before while Pan on the other hand just let out an agitated huff before disappearing again.
Will's POV
I wiped the blood from my neck onto my sleeve, only to pause as I noticed a wide grin on Ben's face.
"You know, as much as I do admire you facing up against Pan..."
I rolled my eyes, "Please don't say-"
"I told you so?" Ben piped in. "Yeah, well...I told you so."
"Uh guys, I think Emily needs our help."
I've never seen Ben's reaction change so quickly. He could have snapped his neck turning it that fast.
"What! Where!?"
"Over there-" Ethan said but before he could finish his face twisted in pain, his hand reaching straight for his chest.
Ben had already taken off to notice anything but I was quickly at Ethan's side.
"You seriously can't keep ignoring this."
"I've m-managed so far."
I grabbed his arm and put it over my shoulder, "No you haven't."
"I'm fine. You should go over there-"
"Ethan, I'm not leaving you here in pain. Come on,"
I helped him walk over to Ben but as we got closer I furrowed my brows hearing Ben talking to Emily.
"What do you mean I'm not real? It's me, Ben."
Emily slowly lifted her head, her eyes hesitant to open but when they did she let out a sigh of relief.
"Ben?"
"Of course, who did you think it was?" Ben chuckled lightly, but his attention was soon focused on her, a look of concern plastered his face. "Emily, what's wrong?"
I couldn't help but notice her skin turning pale making the dark circles around her eyes more prominent. I know she hasn't been sleeping but this was different, she has been quieter than usual, her eyes remaining constantly focused on her surroundings as if she was scared something was coming after her.
Ethan brought me out of my thoughts as he hissed from beside me, his weight leaning on me more as the pain he felt got worse but I could tell he was trying not to draw any attention to himself, probably since Ben was standing right in front of him but it also didn't help that we were standing in the middle of the training area.
"Ben, bring Emily over here," I gestured to the trees that surrounded the open area away from the crowd of boys.
Ethan made an attempt to walk on his own once Ben had turned in our direction but I held his arm putting it back over my shoulder.
"Are you insane? You can hardly walk!" I tried to whisper but almost ended up shouting.
By that time Ben and Emily were ahead of us and Ethan settled on me helping him.
Why didn't he want Ben to know so badly? If anything keeping this from him is only going to make things worse when he finds out.
I carefully helped Ethan to the ground so he was seated against a tree then turned to Ben letting a short sigh escape my mouth knowing Ben is going to be pretty comfortable sitting with Emily. I knew something was wrong, something I could only think of that trailed back to the test. I couldn't ask Emily knowing that Ben will want every single detail and if it is what I think it Isi might not be able to find out at all.
"Ben, go help, Ethan."
Just as I was expecting he turned to me with narrowed eyes then found Ethan with a blank face.
"What do you mean help him? He's sitting down!"
"Ben, just help him, he-" I started but made contact with a burning glare from Ethan and struggled to find an excuse, "...he got injured...earlier...and he needs you to cheer him up?"
I didn't have to turn around to know Ethan was probably staring daggers into my back.
"What do you mean! He barely did anything!" Ben protested, standing to his feet, his voice rising higher with each word.
"Ben!"
"Alright fine!" Ben said as he stormed past me, "You demanding little- ugh!"
That went better than I expected...mostly.
Emily's POV
"Pan may have saved you but he knows you're weak."
I wanted to cover my ears but I knew it wouldn't make a difference.
"Don't think your friends can help you, they can't even see me," I heard my own voice whisper in my ears, "But what do you think they would do if they could see me? Do you really think they would still want to be friends with you?"
Just leave me alone.
"Emily?"
I opened my eyes after hearing Will's voice but they remained glued to the ground.
"I can't get her out of my head, Will. She won't go away."
"Who?"
"Me...my darkest fear," I said quietly.
"Emily, you faced your fear in the test-"
"Then how did I get through the barrier! How did I defeat her if I can still see her...if she's really here, how did I pass that test!" I couldn't help raise my voice.
I took a breath and tried to explain.
"I'm sorry, it's just, this isn't the same as the test, it's different, she's changed. She's a lot stronger than before and she's after something from me. She wants me to change."
"Change how?"
"He doesn't want the both of us, only the strongest will survive..."
"She is after something she despises and she thinks that once I give it up, we will become the same. It's as if she wants a part of me gone."
"What part?"
"The good part."
Baelfire's POV
I carefully turned back around the tree, facing away from Emily and Will.
The good part...
I'm almost out of time.
I have to leave...tonight.
Hey everyone, long time no see!
Sorry for the setback, I really needed some time to myself to clear my head for a bit. Thank you for waiting so patiently.
I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! There was a lot going on but the craziness has only just begun.
Emily's dreams are getting worse, do you think she will be able to finally let go of her darkest fear for good or will she fall trapped to her other self, giving in to her darkest desires?
Ethan's pain in his chest is getting worse. Will is struggling to help him and is afraid next time he does he might not be able to. Ethan's maintaining his secret for now, but how long do you think he can keep his past away from his closest friends?
Baelfire's almost out of time...but out of time for what?
Find out next chapter!
I'm curious, do you have a favourite Pan moment?
Leave a review if you enjoyed this chapter or if you have any predictions of what might happen next!
See you next chapter!
- zimbardo