Hylla wakes in cold sweat, tangled in her sheets. The Amazon queen shivers, rubbing her arms.
It's not real, she tells herself. It's not real. Just a nightmare.
Her breathing steadies as she rocks back and forth, hugging her knees.
He's gone. It can't hurt you now. You're safe. You're both safe.
She sighs. When will it stop?
The nightmares were less frequent now, but just as clear as ever. She shudders. It's that memory again, always the same visions. Seared in her mind, repeating over and over in her dreams.
She watches, again and again as he rages. Glowing, translucent. No longer quite human. A mania, a spirit of insanity. No longer her father.
She's helpless, trying to shield her sister. Reyna cowers behind her, ten years old and terrified.
Julian's yelling. "You are a Ramirez-Arellano!" he screams at her.
For the millionth time, Hylla watches as he glows brighter. Furious. The room is trashed already, tiles ripped out, furniture splintered in pieces. A chair lifts from the debris. It hurtles at her, and before she can react she's out cold.
Hylla digs her fingers into her skin. She tries to block out the memory. She can't. The mental recording continues.
The past-her wakes to sobbing. Her father is gone. Reyna is crying, a gold saber clutched in her hand. Imperial gold.
Hylla takes her in her arms as Reyna tells her, whimpering and hiccupping, what happened. It's not your fault, Hylla says. Reyna is inconsolable.
I killed him. I killed him, she cries. It's my fault.
All around them, ghosts gather. They whisper to them. Yes. Murderer. Traitor. You cannot flee your crime.
Reyna cries harder, tears pouring. Hylla glares at the spirits. Go, she thinks. Leave us.
They fade back, but they are not gone.
Hylla comes back to reality as the memory cuts off. She exhales. Just a memory. Ghosts. They cannot touch you now.
She lies back again, the visions vanquished. Stares at the ceiling. Everything is calm. Still. But she can't sleep. Her thoughts wander as she lies awake.
Years ago, she was a scared teenager, trying to keep Reyna safe. Running. Hiding. Anything to protect them. With Julian gone, his mania disintegrated, they were alone. Utterly alone. Two Roman demigods, left to fend for themselves.
They were taken in by Circe, working at her resort. There, Hylla stopped trying to hide. She wore flashy clothes and makeup, hoping for the sorceress's attention.
She had felt fake.
Then the island was destroyed. They were stranded again. Taken by pirates.
Hylla's hand went to the scar on her face.
She'd been so desperate just to stay alive. She'd fought for their freedom, and succeeded. Finally made use of her divine heritage.
Back on land, they survived on their own. Fighting monsters, finding food and shelter.
Finally they separated, for the first time in their lives. Reyna trained at Camp Jupiter with the other demigods, rising rapidly in their ranks.
Hylla had chosen to join the Amazons instead. She felt comfortable there. Like she could finally live her own life. No hiding and pretending, no longer responsible for anyone else. She later became their queen, but this time her burden was easier to carry. She was leading a team, a well-structured and powerful organization.
She felt powerful. She was in control at last.
But still the nightmares would not go away. She still woke hours before dawn, terrified that this would all disappear. That she would be back at the family villa, sixteen years old, frightened and helpless. The voices still whisper in her head at night.
Hylla clenches her teeth in frustration.
She doesn't want to end up like her father, bitter and obsessive. Fixated on the past, fading slowly until only the worst qualities remain. Unable to move on.
She twists her silver ring absently, tracing the crossed sword and torch. Bellona's symbol. Her mother's symbol. A thought begins to form.
Reyna won't like it, she knows. She would rather leave Puerto Rico behind forever. Her sister has built a new life with the Twelfth Legion in New Rome.
But Hylla isn't content with ignoring what happened. She wants- she needs- to understand, and come to terms with her past.
She makes her decision. She has to accept her heritage, however painful it will be.
She'll reclaim the house and the memories that come with it. Accept the past and move on. Live in the present. Let go of her lingering pain.
Dispel the ghosts- her own ghosts.
Permanently this time.