(Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters)
This chapter was suggested by Diana, who wonderfully reminded me that JJ's mom was in this! So I decided to write one on her.
Oh, and of course I will be addressing the big reveal from last time.
Also, I have around 10 more spaces for prompts and suggestions so please feel free to send me them if you want to see something in future chapters.
Aaron opened his mouth to reply to the small boy but all his tongue could only form botched stutters of what seemed to have been words. He glanced at his phone, his mouth closing and his hand coming up to touch his lips as he did while JJ just stared at Spencer.
The boy in question had his head cocked to the side, swaying awkwardly as he waited for an answer.
"Diana..." JJ mumbled, her voice cracking as she looked at Spencer for any sort of reaction. The boy just looked up into her eyes and his face fell into concern.
"What's w'ong, Mommy?" he asked.
"I'm not-... she's-" JJ shook her head and turned to look at Aaron for help. He gaped at her blankly, shaking his head little.
"Not what?"
"Nothing, buddy. Come here," Aaron said, finally breaking the wall of pure disbelief that had suddenly built up.
Spencer smiled and hitched his rabbit up in his arms as he hurried down the hall, going straight past JJ in the threshold. She just watched Spencer as he got to Aaron and he helped the toddler up onto the couch and then into his lap. Aaron wrapped his arms around Spencer's middle and after a moment he pressed a kiss to the back of the boy's head. Spencer swiveled around so he was sat sideways on Aaron and able to look up at him.
"There's something we need to talk about, bud," Aaron mumbled. Spencer just stared at Aaron with his big eyes, his hands twisting his bunny around in nervous curiosity.
JJ sat down beside them, her eyes blazing into the side of Aaron's face. "Aaron," she hissed, pulling his gaze from Spencer to her. She swallowed nervously. "Are you sure?"
"He should know," Aaron said and Spencer nodded seriously.
"I s'ould know."
Aaron smiled, giving JJ one last reassuring look before turning his focus on Spencer.
"Spencer, you know you have another mommy, right?"
Spencer pursed his lips together thoughtfully and nodded. "But she tan't loot aftew me," he said in a serious voice and Aaron nodded.
Aaron tucked his hands under each other as he pulled Spencer closer to him. "And that we... you're adopted... you know that we adopted you?"
"Uh-huh! But I don't wememew my othew mommy and daddy. Only you!" Spencer punctuated the sentence with a warm hug around Aaron's chest that made the elder swallow both in anxiety and because it made his churning insides rise, a nasty taste of lingering sickness in his mouth. It was great to be held so highly in a child's mind but this was still Spencer, and his mother shouldn't have been forgotten.
"Well-... well, there's something we have to tell you."
Hotch glanced at JJ and she turned away, her eyes glimmering. He took a deep breath and gently pulled Spencer's arms from around him so he could look into his eyes.
"It's your biological mother, Spencer. Her names... Diana... that's her name. Buddy, she died."
Aaron stared down at Spencer's face as a confused expression crossed it. JJ looked over briefly and for a second she saw heartbreaking grief cross Spencer's face. He sobbed suddenly, burying his face into Aaron's shirt but before her fiancé could comfort him, he pulled back and wiped his face.
He shook his head, his lip poking out sadly. "I didn't know hew," he whispered sadly.
JJ and Aaron's eyes met sadly.
"We know, buddy. But she was your real mommy."
Spencer pressed his face into Aaron's chest, his eyes searching blankly ahead of him as he tried hard to remember.
"B-but I feel lite I know hew... why tan't I wemembew!"
Aaron held onto the boy as he broke down into tears. He whined in frustration, asking 'why' over and over.
JJ didn't sleep well that night. Spencer refused to go to bed or let Aaron go and they both fell asleep on the couch by the time JJ had Henry settled.
JJ woke up the next morning to find Spencer still tucked up under Aaron's arms. Aaron was breathing heavily his breath blowing Spencer's fringe as the boy scrunched his nose in his sleep. JJ grinned at the sight and stood by the door watching for a minute. The scene was disturbed by a chiming in JJ's pocket. She grabbed her phone as Aaron twisted on the couch, releasing a wide yawn.
He went to stretch when he felt something retraining his arms. He opened his eyes a little and saw little red cheeks in front of him. He chuckled sleepily and shifted his arm carefully from under the kid. Spencer whined and pressed himself closer to Aaron's chest. He dropped his hand into the boy's scruffy hair and glanced at the door.
JJ pulled her phone from her ear before looking up and smiling.
"Good morning. Comfy night?"
"Mmpf... who was that?" Aaron asked as JJ dropped her phone on the arm of the couch. She grimaced and entwined her fingers.
"My mother."
Aaron frowned.
"I might have forgotten that she was coming."
"Here!?" Aaron sat up, his eyes wide. JJ nodded sheepishly. "Today!?"
"Yes..."
"JJ! Didn't you think to tell me?"
JJ scowled. "I probably have told you, you just didn't listen. Besides, maybe it'll be good for Spencer to see her. He doesn't know what to feel right now."
Spencer heard his name and sat up on the couch. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at Aaron, his lips downturned.
"You okay, buddy?"
"Sad," Spencer muttered, falling back onto Aaron's chest and pulling his rabbit toward him. He felt Aaron's hands in his hair, pulling his tangled curls apart. "I-I don't know why," Spencer whispered. "I don't 'membew hew."
"It's alright. I know you're confused."
Spencer huffed and pulled himself upright again.
"Breakfast?" JJ asked, holding her hand out towards him and Spencer nodded, sliding off the couch and dragging his feet towards her.
Spencer went up to his room after breakfast, the action causing a worried exchange between JJ and Hotch.
The toddler walked slowly towards his bed and paused as he passed the bookcase. He glanced at the books lined inside and he cocked his head curiously at the large red book wedged right at the end.
He looked back at the doorway, checking to see if anyone had followed him. He turned back and trudged toward the book. He stopped and got heavily down to the floor, crossing his legs and staring at the book.
The small boy carefully reached forward and ran his finger down the broken spine. He felt a tingle of familiarity rise in him and a voice echoed in his head.
"Good choice, who will it be then? Come on, Spencer, you know the contents, pick one."
Spencer blinked as the voice dispersed and he gripped his nails around the book's spine and slowly slid it out.
The front was a plush red, well worn but intact. He dropped the book in his lap and opened the hardback cover, revealing the first page.
"Love poems," he mumbled to himself as he read quickly through the contents. "Sixty-seven."
"Beautiful choice. That's from me, I used to read this to you when I could cradle you in one arm."
Spencer blinked down at page sixty-seven as his biological mother's voice brimmed his mind. He stared at the words for a long moment until something splashed on the page, magnifying the word 'lost' in the middle of the poem.
He reached up gingerly and rubbed his eyes, finding them both wet. He smiled softly and started to read, another voice, a familiar one, reading with him in his head.
"You think he's okay?" Aaron sat anxiously on the couch, his eyes skimming the hallway for any movement on the stairs. JJ handed him his coffee before glancing up at the ceiling. She stood thoughtfully for a moment before shaking her head and sitting beside Aaron.
"I don't know. I'm not sure he remembers and he doesn't understand why." She sighed and took a deep sip of her coffee. She went to speak again when there was a knock at the front door. JJ coughed on her mouthful of coffee and set it down quickly.
"That's my mom," she said.
Aaron groaned and with his free hand he snatched up the blanket around his feet and tugged it up to his chin. "I'm still sick," he mumbled, clutching his warm mug and taking a sip.
JJ rolled her eyes and got up. She scowled playfully as she yanked the blanket down and Aaron yelled.
"Hey!"
"You know what she's like, sit up."
JJ continued walking as Aaron huffed and sat back up and set his shirt straight. She glanced at the stairs before opening the door, wondering if Spencer was alright.
"Jennifer, I thought you were going to make me wait even longer. It's not warm out here you know."
JJ forced her lips up into a smile.
"Mum," she said and opened her arms. Sandy shrugged off her bag, leaving it by the coat stand and leaned into the embrace, tucking her hands into each other after going around JJ's waist.
"You really should get some more meat on your bones," Sandy grumbled as she pulled back and looked JJ up and down. She smiled softly as JJ shut the door.
"I eat plenty, mum."
"Cheetos?"
"Actually the kids have been stealing them."
Sandy clasped her mouth suddenly. "The children," she whispered. She pointed to her bag with a grin. "I hope they're here. I won't be staying long, perhaps 'till after dinner. I got them some things from my holiday."
JJ sighed as her mum haphazardly lifted her bag and rested it on her knee. She rummaged for a minute as JJ watched with a passive frown. "You didn't have to get them things, mum. I'm pretty sure Penelope spoils them enough."
"They can never have too much. Where are they? Henry? Jack, Spencer!?"
JJ grabbed her mum and with a firm guiding hand she led her into the living room.
"Mum," JJ hissed, glancing back at the hallway before looking at her mother. "I need to talk to you before-"
"Grandma!" Henry cheered as he ran into the living room. Sandy turned just as Henry ran into her and she patted the boy's back when he wrapped his arms around her knees.
"Here's one," Sandy said. "So." Sandy let go of Henry, keeping her hand on his back as she turned. "What are we doing today?"
JJ glanced at Aaron and they exchanged a look.
"Well," Aaron started but JJ took her mum by the arm.
"Mum, there's something I need to tell you first. Um, Henry, go watch TV, I'm just going to talk to grandma in the kitchen," said JJ, raising an eyebrow at Aaron and leading her mum toward the kitchen.
"Hey, Henry, I think I found a Spider-Man slime video earlier, come see." Hotch patter the couch and Henry eagerly joined him.
"What's going on, JJ?"
JJ pulled her mum into the kitchen, shutting the door behind them.
"It's..." JJ glanced at the ceiling, an image of Spencer wrapped up in his bed with tears in his eyes flashing in her mind. She sighed and took a seat, motioning for her mum to do the same. "We can't go anywhere right now. Spencer had some bad news."
Sandy nodded at JJ as she started up the stairs. "Are you sure, mum?"
"I'll talk to him."
Sandy looked back up the stairs and started up it again. When she got to the landing she found Jack's room first. The door was pulled to and a red 'J' hung from a thumbtack stuck into the door. Henry's door was the other side, a blue 'H' hanging from his door as well as several haphazardly placed stickers. Sandy walked past those doors, opting for the one closest to Henry's with a mustard coloured 'S' hanging from it. The door was shut so Sandy pressed her ear to it before calling out. "Spencer?"
She listened carefully and waited. There was a small noise on the inside but nothing more.
Sandy pressed her palm on the handle and listened once more. "It's grandma, I'm going to come in."
She pushed down on the handle and slowly opened the door. The light was on and the curtains were drawn. Sandy shifted her gaze down to the bed where Spencer was sat, a big red book in his tiny lap, his own gaze just pointed blankly at the book.
Sandy pushed the door ajar and took a step toward Spencer. She paused when her foot caught an obstruction.
"Oh, I believe this little fella is yours," she said, picking up the nearly tattered rabbit and waving it. She paused and looked at the rabbit's leg. "I might need to help this poor bunny out. His arm's nearly falling off."
Spencer raised his head a little and stared at the rabbit. His eyes were blank but his face was downturned.
"Don't get wid of him," he mumbled. Sandy stopped gaping at the rabbit and she smiled softly at Spencer. She handed him the rabbit and he tucked it under his arm along with a more put-together one.
"I bet he's special to you," she said, slowly lowering herself on the small space by Spencer. The bed was small but luckily Spencer was too and so Sandy squeezed in easily.
Spencer's eyes were on the book again, avoiding Sandy's gaze. He nodded, pulling Darwin closer as he tried to focus on the book again. He felt Sandy's mothering hands on his shoulder and although he twitched a little, but let his shoulders sag.
"It's not nice to lose something special to you," she said. She continued to watch Spencer as he lost his place in the book. He raised his eyes a little, still not meeting Sandy's. "Or someone," she continued and finally Spencer looked at her.
Sandy sighed and swooped an arm around Spencer.
"You know what happens when someone dies?"
Spencer blinked. Of course, he knew... at least he knew what happened to the body, but he had a feeling Sandy was talking about the soul.
Sandy smiled at Spencer's conflicted expression. "I know nobody actually knows but we all believe something. And I believe that when we die we just move onto something new. I'm not sure what Jay...- mummy has been teaching you, but I always believed that when someone dies they move on to something we can only dream of. And they visit from time to time, to see how we're doing."
Spencer frowned and looked down at the carpet as he thought of Sandy's belief.
"But... I-I... what if I tan't wemembew them? W-will they still visit me?" Spencer asked quietly, his voice croaking a little from his hours of silence. Sandy's smile fell sadly and she squeezed Spencer's shoulder.
"Of course she will. You may not remember but as a mother myself, our children are our worlds. We love you no matter what. Your mother loved you, and although you may not remember your time with her, you know deep down you love her just as much."
Spencer felt something warm bubble inside him. A face popped briefly into his head, her hair blonde and short, her lips thin, her expression strained but happy. He smiled suddenly and clung onto Sandy's hand.
"Did your mommy tell you that?"
Sandy grinned. "She did. You know, sometimes I can't remember my mother either. She passed away when I was seventeen," she said. Spencer's face fell and Sandy clutched him tighter when tears formed in his eyes.
"It's okay," she added. She reached down and brushed at Spencer's eyes. "I'm getting older now and I forget memories of her every day. But when I start to feel sad or angry at myself I just think that she's around me. I think that she's telling me it's alright. Because one day I'll meet her again. J-just... just like my first daughter."
Spencer pursed his lips and his shoulders slumped. Sandy squeezed one and leaned in close.
"It's okay to forget. We can't help it sometimes, you're still just a little boy, if you asked me about what I did as a girl I wouldn't be able to tell you a thing." Sandy winked and Spencer leaned against her. He hoped she was right.
Sandy didn't stay too long. She waited for Jack to get back from Haley's and with Aaron, she took the boys to the park.
Jack and Henry had been told about Spencer's mom and they pandered to him a little.
Sandy left after dinner and Spencer excused himself from the table.
JJ kept going back and forth upstairs to check on him until Jack and Henry also had to go to bed.
JJ stopped outside Spencer's bedroom door after pulling Henry's shut. She leaned on the handle and pushed it open just enough to see Spencer on his side, facing the wall.
JJ watched the child as he stared at the wall. She knew he wasn't sleeping. He shifted every few seconds, and his hands curled and twisted up in his rabbits at the same rate.
"Spence?"
JJ watched as Spencer slowly turned over, the sheets still up to his neck as he looked up at JJ. He smiled softly and pulled his rabbits up to his chin.
"You okay, sweetie?" she asked and Spencer nodded.
JJ simpered at the sight. "Alright, it's late so you should try and get some sleep."
Spencer nodded again and stretched out his legs. He nestled his head in the pillow, grinning when he felt the bulky outline of the red book under his head.
This chapter was so hard to write, as you can tell by the delay. I didn't want to have the whole chapter on Diana's death since Spencer doesn't remember but I don't feel like I wrote enough on it now... and I skipped through time a lot.
Next chapter I'll go off your prompts to write the funeral. But I'll get back to your ideas soon. Keep sending them.
Ah, anyway, thanks for reading.
Please review.
See you soon!