Author note: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry this chapter has been so long coming, I feel I need to explain a little bit. Quite often in the three and a half years (really?!) I've been writing this so far, I've had to put it on hold for a couple of weeks/months for new jobs, illness, moving house, there was even a huge breakup after five years together just a few chapters in that I didn't mention. At those times I haven't had time or sometimes just don't feel like writing. Sad to say I've recently been through another really heart-breaking separation from my partner of three years and, given the stage of the story I'm at, the last thing I wanted to write about was Keren finally getting over someone and moving on, as I'm not in that space at all! I'm crap at being single but am kind of determined this time to be on my own rather than settle, ya'll know how it is. The past couple of weeks I have started to feel a bit more human and found that actually writing has helped hugely. Kind of bad timing with this chapter but hey ho. Ok, personal drama over ;)

Thank you as always for the lovely reviews, and again I'm so sorry to have kept you guys waiting. Hi to all new followers and favs, I promise I'm not normally this emotional lol. Keren is back and also a lot emotionally stronger. I do have to say, whatever is happening in my personal life, this story was all planned right from the start, so there are no personal feels going into this story, it's just weirdly been predicting my life a little bit! I hope you enjoy this chapter as Keren spends her last night in Lorien. x

Chapter Ten - The dance of farewell

Dancing had always agreed with Keren. Even surrounded by the most graceful of elves, her comparative lack of stature made her all the more light on her feet, and she amused them all greatly with her ability to spin, jump and pick up new steps. She assumed their interaction with humans must surely be nil if they thought her graceful, but then of course she could not see herself. She was never short of partners either, for she was quite the novelty, although there were many elves who thought themselves far above socialising with her. Most mornings she slept very late, as the elves seemingly did not tire, and their evenings of merriment always continued as she excused herself and headed for bed. Some nights many of them gathered together, although Keren was unable to say how often this was. More often there were quiet nights spent with smaller groups, and almost always there was Haldir, when he wasn't patrolling, and always there was Legolas. She learnt many elven songs and dances, sat in a dreamy state listening to long lays of the past, almost all utterly new to her. Still she struggled with the odd word, but let the language flow over her, the speaker's voice painting the pictures of the story. Very often she had awoken in her own bed after nodding off against a tree, or on a springy hillock of soft grass. Days were spent walking, or reading, or talking quietly. In Minas Tirith she would have tired of it all, but in Lorien it was different. Never had she been so relaxed, so aware of the beauty in the world.

But a time came when Galadriel summoned her once more, and she knew her time in the Golden Wood must come to an end. Sadness washed over her, for she had been hiding in this perfect land, and now it was time to enter reality once more.

"But your reality will be much different when you leave us," the Lady said. "For you are different. Things that once would have caused a storm within you will now be merely a ripple across the surface, lasting but moments. You have grown much - and you know within your heart that nothing can hurt you now, not truly. You may shake a little, but your roots are strong. You have left Keren behind and are now, if you choose to be, Ciraen. But you need not share this name with others, simply carry it in your heart if you wish, knowing that secretly you are changed."

Keren smiled. "I will never get used to how elves can read thoughts."

The Lady smiled in return. "I am fairly sure you have already. So few of the race of men in this age spend as much time with us as you have. You are dear to us, and will always have my blessing and my protection for as long as I can give it, even once the sea has parted us."

"But…"

"How is of no concern to you, but remember the guide that we have in common. The Lady of the Stars is watching over both of us. Think of her whenever you feel alone and she will help you. Use Tinúnil, for that is the tool that was granted to you to help you connect with her."

Keren took the small crystal out of its pouch and held it fondly.

"Thank you for gifting this to my mother" she said. "It has brought me so much comfort, even though it could not help her. I think I will keep it secret a little longer, until I know what my next step is once I am home."

Galadriel nodded. "You will know when the right time will be to speak of it. Myself and Haldir alone know the whole truth, and you can trust us with it unto death. Such things are not to be thrown around lightly."

The Lady stepped towards Keren and gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"You have a place in my heart Keren, and there is one more thing I would give to you before we part, for part we must. Tomorrow is favourable for you to begin your journey home. The weather is still fine and there is no trouble on river or road."

Keren sighed softly, foreseeing her long journey ahead.

"You will of course have friends with you," the Lady said, "but the road will seem long at times. I have new clothes laid out for you, lighter and hardier. But those are for practicality, not a gift as such. This is what I would give you, for no purpose other than to show my love."

She held up a ring, a simple band of silver, unpolished so that rough etchings still remained on the surface.

"It may not look like much," the Lady conceded. "But it is precious to me, as are you. And it seems right that you should have it to remember me by."

"But you have given me so much," Keren whispered. "You have given me a new life."

"Nay, Keren, you did that. I just gave you a choice, a challenge, which you were brave enough to face. Now please accept one more thing from me." She held out the ring, and Keren took it gently between her thumb and forefinger. It was heavy and solid, with no delicacy or danger of breaking. She loved it.

"I shall wear it always," she said, sliding it onto her index finger, to which the Lady only smiled. "Oh. It's too big for me."

"Here." The Lady offered her a matching silver chain, which Keren threaded through the ring, joined the clasp and hung around her neck.

"Thank you, thank you," she said. "I am so blessed to have been brought here."

The Lady did not shed a tear, but held Keren to her closely. "May our parting bring you more joy than your mother received when she stood here for the last time. I feel it will."

With a last brush of Keren's head she stepped away.

"Go now and prepare your things. There will be a farewell feast in your honour tonight, but you must be ready for an early start in the morning. You shall see me, but there will be no more time for talk. And so now we say farewell."

"Farewell," Keren said. "I hope the sea bears you safely to your new life."

"Ah, it is but a returning to an old life, but I, like you, am much changed since I left the shores of the West. We cannot go back to who we once were, for good or ill. Farewell, elf-friend."

Hours later, and Keren was on the way to being drunk, which she knew was highly foolish, as she would need to leave with the sunrise. But really, her last night with the elves, her last night drinking the sweet elvish wine of which she knew nothing in future could ever compare to, her last night dancing and singing and laughing with these magical folk, what else could she do? The nectar had been flowing merrily and all were eager to re-fill her cup when it became empty, for they would miss the funny, friendly human in their midst, and wanted to make the most of her entertainment-value on this her last night.

The Lord and Lady had joined in with the dancing on this occasion, which was very rare, and Keren felt such happiness in her heart at seeing them smile and laugh together. A love that was ages old, and yet fresh as two young sweethearts shyly courting. The thought made her turn to Haldir and Legolas, both alone, Haldir forever mourning a love that could not be, and Legolas - she still did not know. Was he happy? He seemed it. Now, truly, she was happier than she had ever been, and there was not a lover in sight. Faramir had begun to be an indifferent thought to her, flitting through her mind and out again like a leaf on the wind, almost inanimate. The thought of him touching Éowyn no longer made her want to turn herself inside out with jealousy. Although maybe it was just the wine making her so relaxed.

"Your cup is empty." Legolas appeared beside her.

"Yes, and I am wondering whether it should remain like that for the rest of the evening," Keren replied. "It's starting to go to my head."

"Well, if it helps, I remember the night at Edoras, even if you do not, where you were almost insensible, and you are a long way from that. I do not think you will need me to carry you to bed tonight."

"But what if I want you to?" she said without thinking, then gabbled hastily. "I mean so I don't have to leave the party alone. Of course. Not - not…"

"I believe if I am to carry you anywhere you need to be a good deal less functional than you are currently. If I start carrying you everywhere purely because of your laziness then - "

"I'm not lazy!" she said indignantly, as he smoothly poured more wine into her cup. "But I am concerned that if people keep doing this," she waved her now full cup around slightly, "then I will need to be carried. And I am trying my best to remain vertical tonight. We start a long journey tomorrow, at sunrise, and I think you all forget that sometimes I need sleep, however good a time I'm having."

"You have my solemn promise that if I see you getting anywhere near Edoras levels of drunkenness I will immediately remove you from all proceedings," Legolas said, and together they sat on the cool grass. "And when you wish to retire I will encourage all others to leave you be. For I know many will miss you - you will be busy with goodbyes tonight."

Keren looked around at the large group of elves that had gathered in the clearing. In one corner were the musicians, who mostly kept themselves to themselves, finding their happiness in playing for others. There were two singers, a male and a female, but Keren had learnt that anyone who wished to was welcome to start a song. A hush descended, something Keren had always wondered at, because no one ever announced that they were about to begin, and yet always after the elves collectively stopped talking a voice was raised in song. This time the voice was that of Galadriel herself. Keren held herself completely still as she listened to the lady's deep, gentle voice roll through the clearing.

Sí Tintallë Varda Oiolossëo

ve fanyar máryat Elentári ortanë

ar ilyë tier undulávë lumbulë;

ar sindanóriello caita mornië

i falmalinnar imbë met, ar hísië

untúpa Calaciryo míri oialë.

Sí vanwa ná, Rómello vanwa, Valimar?

Namárië! Nai hiruvalyë Valimar.

Na elyë hiruva. Namárië!

The song was in Quenya, which Keren was not familiar with, but she did not want to break the sad silence that followed the Lady's song to ask if Legolas knew any translation. For she knew it was sad, and she knew there was a message for her in it towards the end, for Galadriel's piercing eyes had met hers. She had caught Varda, the name of Elbereth, at the start, but other than that the meaning was lost on her. Once the Lady had taken her seat once more the silence ended, and folk began to murmur to each other. Haldir appeared beside Keren and Legolas.

"The Lady has asked if we would lead the next dance," he said to Keren, holding out his hand, "for it is to be a celebration of your time here."

Keren stood quickly, not feeling shy at all, so welcome had the elves made her feel over time, and took his arm. She downed the wine left in her cup, dropped the empty vessel at Legolas's feet whilst giving him a quick wink, and swept into the clearing.

The music started, fast and lively - this was not to be a sad dance of parting, but one of thankfulness and joy. A large group formed a circle of couples, arms entwined, with Haldir and Keren in the centre. All eyes were on her, but she was not concerned. Haldir held her hand and raised her arm above her head, whilst wrapping his other arm around her waist, so that they were facing each other. She knew this dance, loved it, and she was pleased that they had seen this and chosen it for her. Three partners each lady in the centre had, one by one, and once all three had had a turn a new lady took her place.

She and Haldir began to hop and skip round the centre of the ring, and when they had made a full circle they split apart and weaved through the couples around the edge, ducking under arms, leaping gracefully as the other dancers bowed and swayed. The dance picked up speed a little as Keren made her way all the way around the ring then back to the centre of the circle, where the Lord Celeborn was now waiting to meet her. She did feel a little nervous this time as she turned to face him and adopted the same starting position as she had with Haldir, but he was laughing and merry as all were. Round the circle with him she went, knowing that she would have one more new partner before it was her turn to join the ring and another lady would step out to take her place. When they split and danced separately around the outside she began to wonder who her third and final partner would be. The music grew faster still as she reached the centre of the circle for the last time, pipe and harp and drum ringing through the clearing, onlookers clapping and cheering. She wondered if perhaps it would be Rúmil or Orophin, but no, there waiting for her in the centre was the Mirkwood elf, her friend, holding his hand out to her and smiling.

She burst out laughing, but she could not say why. She felt strangely awkward and self-conscious, as if she had no right to be dancing with him, the most handsome elf there, and she a humble healer of the Houses. It was laughable to be sure. But still she found her way to his side, and he took her hand and raised her arm, and his free arm went around her waist, as Haldir's had done, as Celeborn's had done. Was it her imagination, or was he holding her tighter than they? Were their hands, held aloft, gently meeting rather than politely clasped, their fingers intertwining? She found she could not meet his eye, but still she was smiling, and sometimes giggling at the absurdity of it all. She had observed, disconnectedly, at their first meeting that he was about as handsome as an elf had promised to be, but now she was slowly realising that she was noticing that from a very personal viewpoint. They had danced together before, and she had laughed then, and felt his touch then, but this…

Together they spun and circled, arms looping and locking, as all others looked on. As they moved apart she took a deep breath, and as she turned away from him to dance around the circle she felt a little bereavement, for she had enjoyed being in his arms, and found she could not wait to be back there. But that was not to be, for her turn was over, and once she had completed her last circuit she must join the circle, and another lady would take her place. She was no longer really concentrating on what her feet and arms were doing, for she wanted to look across the circle and watch him dance, but she knew she must continue with the steps or the whole dance would be ruined. At last she came to a stop, reaching up high to tap the shoulder of the person she had chosen to go into the middle. Later she would be ashamed to realise that she did not even know who she had selected, for her head was spinning a little, and all she could really concentrate on was the feel of her hand being held within Legolas's firm grasp as they joined the ring of elves.

On the dance went, until Keren began to tire, and the musicians brought their playing to an end. All the time her hand was in his she felt a joy she had not felt before. She began to think back on all of their times together, and how, right from the start, she had found him both intriguing and alarming. Now they were friends, all alarm had gone, save for that night in the crystal caves, where he had acted so strangely. And as she grew to know him more the intrigue also grew, for she found she wanted to know more and more about him, never tiring of hearing about his life, but with him often giving so little away. She felt a jolt in her stomach when the realisation hit her that she had long thought about him when she was on her own, often, more as an object of wonder than as a person sometimes. Often she had had his face in her mind, as she had had Faramir's, but she always thought that was her fascination with elves causing that. Now she realised it was her fascination with this elf, this one elf in particular. Shame hit her, that she had allowed such base feelings to creep into their friendship built on trust and respect.

As the music ended on a final resounding beat of the drum, the dancers broke apart, clapping and cheering. Many of the couples embraced, but she found herself snatching her hand away from his and standing still, not knowing where to turn. She was not one for blushing, but she felt red, and that was enough. She gave him a quick smile and curtsey, and walked quickly back to the edge of the glade with the pretence of needing to sit down after over-heating. Sitting cross-legged on the grass, she took in what had just happened. She had found another man attractive without thinking about Faramir once.

Not even another man, she thought. An elf. An elf!

She had experienced a kind of breakthrough, but she could not appreciate that at this time, for she was very, very confused. And embarrassed. How dare she think that way about her friend. All he had done was be kind to her when she needed. He had never once given her any suggestion of…

"Oh, this is laughable, you idiot," she muttered to her cup of wine, again refilled, sat on the grass waiting for her.

"Who is an idiot?" Haldir sat down gracefully next to her.

"No-one," she replied, taking a gulp of wine. "Well, me, for drinking so much."

"Did you enjoy the dance? They chose it just for you."

"Did they choose my partners too?" she mumbled.

He frowned a little.

"Yes. Were you not satisfied with them?"

Keren sighed.

"Something like that."

The wine was making her tongue far more free than it normally would be.

Haldir looked at her closely, and she boldly returned his gaze.

"Go on," she shrugged. "You can say it."

Haldir huffed in amusement.

"Would I be right in saying that perhaps you are finally forgetting the steward of Gondor?"

Keren swiftly looked down, the wine sending annoying tears to her eyes.

"Never entirely," she whispered. "But tonight… perhaps I am, a little bit."

She looked up to see Haldir looking pained.

"Then I urge you to be cautious. And I speak from my heart, with all the experience it holds when mortal and elf love."

"I - we - no, that's not - ," she stumbled. "For Eru's sake, Haldir, of course I don't love him. But I perhaps noticed tonight for the first time really, that he is…very handsome. Well, of course any fool can see he is handsome. But he is handsome…to me," she finished lamely.

"You will note that he has made himself scarce," her friend said pointedly.

"Yes, but surely that's nothing to do with me." She waited for him to answer, but instead watched an eyebrow slowly raise. "Oh, Haldir, do be serious. I am a mortal healer, and he is a prince of an elven kingdom. Ha, even saying that makes me cringe. He does not hold any feelings for me."

She actually found herself laughing again at the very idea, and the thought did not hurt her overmuch that he could not love her, for it was so ridiculous. It had never entered her head.

"Remember, dear heart, that I loved your mother," Haldir said quietly under her laughter.

Keren blinked awkwardly, her laugh dying quickly.

"Yes. Of course. I'm sorry."

Haldir nodded and stayed silent.

"I am sorry if - " Keren began, then steeled herself to continue. "I am sorry if my presence here has ever been painful to you. I know I do not much look like her, but I am a living reminder of the life she chose."

"The life I made her choose," Haldir replied, after a little while, and Keren laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"One thing only I will say," he went on. "Do not be so quick to doubt elves and our feelings. To most of us, you mortals are the superior race, for you have been blessed by Eru with the gift of true death, your spirit free to soar once it has left the earth. We are so often in awe of you, but your sometimes simple heads" - he nodded to the wine - "often cannot believe that. Your prince is my friend also. And I know when an elf, when a friend has…"

"Has what?" she wondered, the wine forgotten.

"Has made up their mind," he said into his cup.

Keren found her bed alone that night, for suddenly she had desired to tip the rest of her wine away and leave the celebrations. She bade Haldir and his brothers goodnight and slipped away quietly, having said all her merry goodbyes earlier in the evening. Legolas was still nowhere to be seen. On the slow walk back to her flet she felt her head was ten steps ahead of her. It was mainly the drink, of course, but no small part of it was Haldir's words to her. What could Legolas have made up his mind about? He could not have been insinuating that her friend…

She ordered her thoughts to stop going down that route as she climbed the ladder to bed. But once she was lying alone under the canopy of leaves and branches she felt she could not see or think clearly. She found herself climbing up into the higher boughs, knowing that anyone who saw her would immediately panic and order her down. But no one was there, and she was fearless on wine that night. Her head broke through the uppermost branches, and there was the carpet of stars above her, so familiar and yet now always so strange when she gazed upon them, for she could not fathom the history behind them, could not believe that there was a being looking down on her, a mouthpiece of whom she carried with her at all times. She asked no questions to the stars now, for she was afraid of the answers she might get, and was content to breathe deeply and gaze steadily upwards into the heavens, until her head grew a little clearer and she felt able to sleep. She had a long journey home ahead of her.