He had managed to find a quiet part of the palace to gather his thoughts. Not too difficult given the sheer scale and vastness of the palace but quite difficult given the events. While the droid army had been deactivated there was still much to with regards to gathering up the living members of the Trade Federation, locating Anakin, contacting the Jedi Council and working with the Naboo forces to control the city. He was weary from the proceedings, his shoulder in pain from his hard landing he took during the battle and he still was coming to grips with the loss of his master. Qui Gon Jinn had been such an influence and huge part of his life but now he was gone. Brutally killed in front of his eyes by the Sith warrior and Obi Wan had been powerless to help him.
He gazed out of the large window to the view before him. It was night now and the city was beautiful, classical and grand in design but still Obi Wan found little pleasure in admiring it. He felt the weight of the recent events way on him. He had made a promise to his dying Master which he fully intend to keep. The Jedi Council had reacted badly to Qui Gon's decision and urging to train Anakin so he doubted that now they would welcome Obi Wan's desire to do the same.
Sensing a presence coming towards him Obi Wan turned to see Queen Amidala coming towards him still dressed in her guise of a handmaiden. He lowered his head in a bow before her. "Your Highness" he said politely.
"Master Kenobi" She stated. "I have been searching for you would you care to walk with me?" He nodded and they started walking slowly. Her guards staying a respectful distance behind them allowing them to have a private conversation.
"I am sorry for your loss Master Kenobi" Padme said. "Your Master Qui Gon was… a great man. I owe this victory to him. Without his and your intervention I would be at the mercy of the trade federation."
Obi Wan nodded numb to the praise. He was even too numb to correct her from calling him 'Master Kenobi'. He was no Jedi Master far from it. He was still a padawan technically. "We did as we were instructed… protecting you was our mission."
"I only knew him a short time and I must admit I found him rather difficult at times we were on Tatooine, but I will make sure he will remembered by all my people." Padme assured him. "And you too Obi Wan Kenobi. The Gungans and my leaders are planning a formal celebration of both our victory and of our new alliance. I fully intend to highlight Qui Gon Jinn's sacrifice during the celebrations." Padme couldn't help but grimace as those words came out. Here she was talking about a party or a festival and next to her was a young man grieving at the loss of his teacher. But she was unsure what to say. So rarely in her time as Queen had she ever come face to face with grief or loss. Her protectors and ministers had made sure that grief was not something she would ever face which made her all the more determined to overcome it and all the more awkward right now.
Obi Wan nodded but remained stoic. "Thank you for saying that your highness but we Jedi do not seek fame or such rewards."
Padme blinked almost embarrassed. "Of course, forgive me." She suddenly felt so uneasy. She had meetings with politicians, statesmen and other Royalty that were easier than this. "Have you spoken to Anakin about… what has happened?"
Obi Wan nodded slightly tiredly at her question recalling the conversation between himself and the young boy. "I have your Highness."
"Please Master Kenobi call me Padme." Padme interrupted him.
"Yes of course as you wish… Padme." He tired and she smiled faintly. "If you may as well call me Obi Wan for, I am not a jedi master… in fact nor am I even a knight." Padme nodded and motioned for him to continue. "I have spoken to Anakin and explained to him what has happened as best I could. He has taken it hard as to be expected. Master Qui Gon had a powerful impact on his life while I am just a stranger to him."
Padme nodded her heart going out to the small boy she met merely days before. He has been taken away from his mother and now this. "I have wanted to see him, but events have kept me busy. I plan on seeing him after speaking to you."
"He was asking after you so I am sure he would like that." Obi Wan stated and suspected that master Qui Gon was not the only person who had made an impact on young Anakin's life in the last few days. "Anakin got very upset earlier… I was at loss of what to say or do." Obi Wan confessed to the young queen.
"I am sure your presence was enough."
"I fear it was not or will not." Obi Wan admitted almost to himself rather than her. It was not too long ago that Obi Wan was arguing with his master about training the small boy to become a Jedi. Now he had promised to be his teacher and master.
"Anakin told me that master Qui Gon was to seek the Jedi Council's approval to train him to become a Jedi." What will happen to Anakin now?"
"Before he died." Obi Wan struggled to say. "I promised master Qui Gon that I will train Anakin. I fully intend to keep that promise."
Padme sighed relief. At least Anakin was to be safe and discarded to the side. But still something was bothering her about this. Obi Wan was acting almost too emotionless for someone who had such a great loss. He was going though the motions and acting strong but to lose someone close to him must be tough for him. "Are you sure you are alright Obi Wan?" She asked him gently. "I have not known many Jedi and know little of your beliefs, but I understand this… loss must be incredibly sad for you."
"Jedi are taught to feel not the loss of one but the loss of many." Obi Wan explained. "When we use the force, we are connected to all living things. We are trained to value the many not the one. The needs of the many out weight the needs of the few."
"So what?! Master Qui Gon meant nothing to you?!" Padme asked him almost in shock stopping to stare at him.
"No of course not…" Obi Wan stated. He wasn't explaining this well. "I have been trained by master Qui Gon since I was a small boy younger even than Anakin. He taught me the ways of the force, he took me on missions, he… cared for me more than I can ever explain." Obi Wan took a deep breath gazing out at the view. "When I was younger a few years older than yourself your highness. I… had an experience that questioned my faith to the Jedi Order." Obi Wan closed his eyes recalling the year long events on the planet Mandalore protecting Duchess Satine Kryze from insurgents who were threatening her world. "I very nearly walked away from it all." He admitted remembering how his love for Satine. "But I chose to stay and follow the code of the Jedi Order. I believe knew the reasons surrounding my crisis of faith but chose never to speak to me about it nor inform the council. If they had known I could have been expelled. I owe him so much."
Padme considered his words as she studied the man before her. "Is that what makes you… slightly stiff?" She asked gently.
Obi turned to her and smirked. "I prefer by the book" she smiled back at him as by means of an apology. "But yes, to answer your question after those… events I vowed to work harder in my training so not to never disappoint my master again."
"You believe master Qui Gon was disappointed with you?" Padme enquired. "I thought you said he never spoke to you over the events?"
"While he spoke to me about it, I could tell that I disappointed him. Master Qui Gon took a great chance in deciding to train me. He persuaded Master Yoda to train me. He saw potential in me even though there were others who were stronger with the force." Obi Wan explained.
"So why be so cold over his death?" Padme asked him more gently this time.
"Because he died fighting for what he believed in." Obi Wan stated. "Master Qui Gon lived in the moment of the force. Always focused on here and now. Your cause was not to wait for the Senate but to stop your people's suffering now. It was a worthy cause and… a fitting death for my master."
Padme blinked back tears at that. While she was overjoyed at stopping the trade federation she had over just began to come to terms with the suffering and the destruction her people and cities had endured while she had escaped. She had been given a death toll report with numbers that almost seemed unbelievable to her before it was snatched away by one of her aides. She suspected that her own people were trying to shield her from the true cost of the trade federation's actions. She vowed that she would tour the medical camps and see the wounded. But still was grateful to hear others who believed that it a worthy cause.
"I promise that his death will not be in vain." Padme vowed to him. "We will build a stronger Naboo. One were the Gungans have the same rights as us."
"That would greatly honour my Master." Obi Wan smiled. "Qui Gon always saw the good in all living things no matter how small and insignificant… probably why we have picked up some waifs and strays along with this mission." Obi Wan joked referring to Jar Jar and Anakin.
Padme laughed at that. He looked more at ease than before. "It is late I have much to attend to tomorrow." She said and he smiled faintly. "One of my guards will show you to some quarters."
"Of course, my lady." Obi Wan bowed respectfully. Padme smiled again and departed. She was wise beyond her years and a good Queen to her people Obi Wan thought to himself. Taking one last look at the night sky he sighed. There was much to do tomorrow but it did not seem so daunting as it once was.
End.