"Ugh, look at all this!" Eggman shouted angrily, it had been 14 days since Team Sonic came to his lair and trashed his robots. Now his trash can was full of broken up robot parts.

"Those trash dunderheads," the doctor bellowed, "They were supposed to haul this mess off weeks ago. What should I do? Should I blow up this stuff?"

He got out a bazooka but Orbot and Cubot stepped in. "Rather than taking us out in a blaze of glory," Orbot suggested, "Maybe you should contact the government officials of the village and they could help?" Eggman put his weapon away, "You know. Good idea. I'll go talk to the mayor about this!

Mayor Plurbius Fink was in his office stamping bills into law when Eggman came walking in. "I have a trash problem," he said, "my trash was supposed to have been taken care of 2 weeks ago."

Mayor Fink looked through all his files until he found the trash collection bill.

"Today's your lucky day, Doctor Eggman." He said proudly, "This is an election year, I'll do you the favor of getting rid of your trash!"

Eggman was smiling gleefully as the garbage men hauled off his garbage, the job was taken care of and the mad scientist's problem was solved.

"Eggman, One. Trash collection, Zero." Eggman whooped.

He was about to blow a kazoo and go back into his lair when Fennec Guy, one of the trashmen, came walking up with a piece of paper in his hand. "Would you care to pay the fee now or by mail?"

Eggman was caught off guard, "WHAT? A fee? That's highway robbery. I'VE BEEN SCAMMED!"

"Seriously, are you going to pay the fee now or by mail?"

"I'm going to city hall."

Eggman returned to City Hall just as Mayor Fink was having a meeting with Professor Cluckins and Mr. Slate in his office. Eggman stormed into the office, shouting, "THIS IS A TRAVESTY AND AN OUTRAGE. You? Charging me for trash collection?."

The Mayor was smirking, "My dear Doctor Eggman, the amount of trash you had was above the limit. I could let you get a pass, but if you want me to give you a free pass THE next time your garbage problem happens, you're going to have to pay a small-time fee for your trash collection."

Mr. Slate chuckled, "I agree with the mayor, Doctor Eggman. If you fail, guess what is gonna happen? Not only will you be evicted from your lair, the office will foreclose on said evil lair too."

After returning to his lair, Eggman searched everywhere for a spot of money so he could pay Fink and save his home. It was tough as he was debating on what to do, he'd considered selling his particle accelerator which he'd made at summer camp years earlier.

"I don't think parting with it would be a great idea." Eggman decided. Orbot and Cubot stepped in to suggest another idea and gestured to an old machine, which had not been turned on in a while.

"Try selling your old Doomsday Device." Orbot said and looked at Cubot who was giving a nod, "Yeah, you have not used it since the whole fiasco with Dave the Intern." Eggman objected, "Uh, I don't know about that." Finally, an idea came to him, "I got it. I GOT IT! I'll turn my lair into a resort hotel!"

Orbot was caught off guard, "That's not gonna be easy, how are you gonna get people to stay in your evil lair for a while?"

Eggman was puzzled, "Yeah, that's not gonna be easy. I know. How about a sales pitch thing to help get people to stay here in my lair hotel?"

-Later-

Sonic and Amy were in Hedgehog Village with Sticks, Tails and Knuckles minding their own business when they caught sight of Orbot and Cubot up on a stage, Orbot at a speech podium and Cubot in a business uniform next to a cage of birds.

"Whoa, what the heck is going on?" Tails asked, hearing Cubot shout, "See the exotic birds we captured people, these creatures were not captured to lure you into a sales pitch."

Orbot smacked him, "Hey genius, don't clue them in."

"Attention everyone please, these birds are not birds. It's a pyramid scheme!"

"Cubot!"

"Darn, how stupid of me!"

Team Sonic walked up, having seen and heard enough of this "failed Eggman plan". "What's Eggman's scheme this time?" Sonic asked. "Doctor Eggman's turning his lair into a hotel resort in order to pay the mayor a one time fee to pay for trash collection." Orbot explained. Amy looked at Sonic and the others, "Lets go find out what the mad scientist is up too."

The interior of Eggman's lair, during the transformation into the hotel, had changed. There were red carpets, couches and plants on tables and hangings over windows. Eggman himself was at a check in desk.

The lair was still white colored and the building structure was the same as usual. There were also still doors bearing the Eggman symbol that opened automatically.

The lair hotel, dubbed "Eggman Towers" had just opened and the first of the guests to arrived were none other than Captain Beaver, the wealthy seafarer, and the lovely/attractive Perci the Bandicoot and her twin sister Staci.

"Good morning, captain." Eggman greeted, "Welcome there, Perci. Staci!"

Beaver was calm and replied in his crisp British accent, "Morning, doctor. Is today's paper in? I am keen to read the cricket scores and see what is happening around this planet."

Perci and Staci gave a giggle. Eggman gave him a copy of the "Daily Eggstar Industries" newspaper which happened to be on the counter. Behind the mad doctor was a stack of room keys for many of the guests that would be staying in the hotel.

*Timeskip*

Eggman had changed the roof of his lair a bit to be a traditional tropical swimming pool area. Lawn chairs and umbrellas had been set up, even the pool was square wide with two medium sized white diving boards.

Eggman was serving drinks to everyone by the pool in their lawn chairs.

Sticks disappeared a while ago and Knuckles was busy playing with beach towels. Amy had changed into a red two piece bikini with a green and pink polka dotted skirt and was swimming in the pool.

Perci was in the water too, wearing a nice revealing gray one piece swimsuit, while Staci lounged next to Sonic, who was not interested in getting in the water and was only interested in getting some rays.

"Are we so cowardly around water, Sonic?" Staci was teasing, "I could teach you how to swim if you want?"

Sonic, wearing sunglasses, ignored her and shrugged off her advances, though Staci was wearing a gray blue bikini similar to Amy's.

Tails was kicking his feet in the pool and drinking some juice Eggman had given him, all while trying to make sure Amy and Perci's splashes didn't ruin his drink!

"Not a lot has happened!" Sonic shrugged, "Looks like Eggman was telling the truth, hmm." He had an idea. "OH EGGHEAD!" Eggman, who was standing nearby, looked at his archfoe.

"Yeah Sonic?"

"Bring me a Kaluky jookie with a pin umbrella in it."

"Oh boy." Eggman did as Sonic asked, making sure to give Staci a drink to. This relieved Sonic as she stopped trying to seduce him. However, Amy and Perci were watching the whole scene and were almost jealous, wanting to try and splash someone.

"Bet I can't make a big dive splash than you, Perci!" Amy sneered at the bandicoot, climbing out.

"Ha! That a challenge?" Perci put her hands on her slender hips, smirking. "I'm capable of anything too, 'babe'! I am an athletic female, just like you!"

"Alright." Amy got up on the diving board, "We'll see who has the best dive and who can make the best splash! If mine beats yours, I get a drink. You beat me. You can have a kaluky juky drink! Fair contest?" Perci got up on the second diving board and shook Amy's hand, "It's a deal."

Both girls looked at Sonic, who was watching with interest as he took a drink. Tails was curious too, but he was more concerned with finishing his own drink. Eggman, not taking things well, was face palming, but Staci had overheard and was placing bets on Perci to beat Amy in the diving competition!

"On the mark!" Amy shouted to Perci, "On three! One!" She started to bounce up and down on the diving board, getting higher with every bounce. "Two!" Perci was doing the same. "THREE!" Amy leaped with acrobatic ease off the diving board and landed in the pool with a splash.

Perci soon did an acrobatic leap and a twist in mid air, joining Amy in the water. Eggman nearly got splashed by pool water, but luckily he was quick and got out of the way!

"Ha! My dive was more epic than yours, Perci!" Amy said as she and Perci surfaced, "Take that!" Perci smirked, "No. MINE was more awesome! Lets see what our judges have to say about THAT!" They looked at Sonic who'd leaped out of his chair, whooping with excitment.

Tails was just drinking away. Sonic held up a chart with Amy's name on it and the number ten. Staci's Perci score was 7!

"D'awwww!" Perci groaned in defeat. Amy hugged her, "Okay, Perci. To make this fair, "We'll both get a drink! Come on!" The two climbed out of the water and dried off before Amy asked Eggman to give her and Perci a Kaluky Juky.

"Oh boy!" He did just that and the girls spent the rest of their time by the pool having a nice drink.

"Least your being nice to your hotel guests." Sonic called to Eggman, "That way, people will stay here if they want."

Eggman had to laugh nervously, keeping it together, "Uh about that Sonic. Once I've paid the mayor enough, I'm gonna have to kick all of you out of the hotel!"

"Hey, Eggman." Knuckles said in a Greek accent, walking up with towels around him like a Greek toga. "I'm gonna need three more towels!"

Eggman grunted, "Uh, you're using three too many already, Knucklehead! Jeeze, this is the main reason why I'm gonna do as I promised once my money is all good!"

That second, Mike the Ox came running up in a panic, "DOCTOR EGGMAN, YOU GOTTA HELP ME! MY PILLOWS HAVE GONE MISSING!"

Eggman was surprised, "Gone missing? How did that happen all of a sudden?"

-That exact moment-

"Nobody's gonna find old Sticks in here, eh? Ho ho!" Sticks chuckled to herself as she relaxed in her pillow-made fort she'd constructed in the lair's hallway. Her head was propped up against a purple pillow and her feet were resting atop a red pillow.

This felt very fun, for a crazy conspiracy nut of a badger. "Maybe I should someday make a Pillow Hotel for the Pillow People. But, uh, would that be stupid? What would my friends think if there was a Sticks' Cozzy Pillow Hotel? How would that go for me?"

-Mayor's office-

The mayor was playing with pencils and stamping bills into law when Eggman burst into the room with a pot of gold. "Alright, government goober! I got the money you want!" He growled, "It wasn't hard too. I turned my lair into a resort hotel to help along and its paid off."

Mayor Fink looked at Eggman with a sly and nervous grin, "A hotel huh? You know you might need a permit for that."

Eggman was horrified, "WHAT?"

Fink placed out two pieces of paper, "Would you care to pay for the permit and the unauthorized hotel management fee now or by mail?"

"Well this puts me back at square zero and square one." Eggman groaned.

"I surrender," he signed the permit and the fee.

"I knew you'd say that!"

-Two days later-

Eggman was humiliated over the events that had just transpired, the Mayor had made him sacrifice his funds and brought him back to square zero. He was now struggling to be nice to his hotel guests.

When Wild Cat came up, one of the guests just checking in after Tails' girlfriend Zooey, and asked to have a different room every night, Eggman's response at first was; "A DIFFERENT ROOM EVERY NIGHT? WHAT?! ARE YOU NUTS?" He changed it to, "Fine, have a different room. Afterwards, MAKE LIKE A TREE AND GET OUT OF HERE!"

Fastidious Beaver came up and complained to Eggman about his TV remote getting a bit dirty. "Maybe you're dirty too?" Eggman suggested, "GET OUT!"

Orbot calmed him down, "Be a bit nice to the guests, boss. That will help!" Eggman growled, "I don't have the money to pay the president, this is an outrage!"

Amy looked at him with sympathy, "Eggman, don't worry! Your work will pay off eventually!" Captain Beaver agreed, "Yes, ol chap. You will save your own lair, my face assures you that."

Just then, Cubot came racing up. "BOSS. I JUST OVERHEARD THE BIG NEWS WHILE IN THE VILLAGE. IT INVOLVES A SECRET REVIEWER!"

-Flashback-

"Big news, Diane!" Dixon said with a smirk, "Eggman's hotel is gonna get reviewed by a secret reviewer currently writing for Secret Review Magazine!"

Diane Ardvark cackled, "No joking! This is gonna make a difference!"

Little did they know that Cubot was watching behind the bushes until he moved to get out of the area, he made a rustling and that was when the two spotted him trying to get away...

-End Flashback-

Cubot and Eggman were discussing the story and the news when a regal looking heron arrived. He wore glasses and a black suit and pants. He was red colored and wore a bow tie around his neck which did look odd.

When our villain spotted Herron, he exclaimed while pushing aside Amy, who was about to ask for a hotel pin, "It's probably him! Look dignified, Orbot and Cubot!"

Redd Heron reached the front desk and Eggman shook his hand, "Welcome to Eggman Towers!"

Amy complained, "I wanted a hotel paper clip pin."

Eggman, trying to tell her off at first, gave the pink hedgehog a pink clip and she stepped aside.

"Reservation under Redd Heron." Redd Heron shook Eggman's hand, "I wish to relax here, its been a chaotic week. I do hope its quiet here."

Eggman nodded, "We try to create the most luxurious and relaxing tranquil scenery ever here in Eggman Towers."

Walrus Kid and Kid Monkey came racing through the lobby and knocked over stuff by accident.

"We do our best to be family friendly too, heh heh!" Eggman added.

Redd adjusted his glasses, "I am particular about my own accommodations. My own line of assurance adjusting work has been hundreds of hotels!"

Just then a small black cloaked figure came walking up. "Excuse me?" The figure asked.

Eggman got ticked, "HEY, I'M BUSY WITH AN IMPORTANT CUSTOMER AT THE MINUTE!" He looked back at Heron, "No more interruptions, I can promise you that my friend."

Lady Walrus came running up to the desk, "We're hungry and starving! I demand you stop and feed us at once!" Eggman looked surprised, "What? You demand?"

"I am paying good money to stay in this hotel and I demand good service!"

"Okay, fine. I'll feed you and everyone else and stop what I am doing until your children have been fed!"

-Later-

Eggman's living room had been turned into a dining room as tables and chairs were all set up with the silverware and the plates. There were four to six tables with 3 chairs.

The first table was occupied by Team Sonic, basically Sonic, Amy, Tails and Knuckles, the next was occupied by Perci and Staci and Cap'n Beaver, Madame Walrus and her children occupied the third and number four was occupied by Zooey.

The mysterious figure occupied the fifth and the last table was occupied by Red Herron. The seventh extra table was basically a food plate table.

Eggman scooped up some bread and meat in a pot and made his way to Red's table, ignoring Team Sonic, Zooey, Perci and her sister, the mystery figure, the 3 Walruses and Admiral Beaverton. He set the food down upon the plate in front of the heron and asked, "How is everything?"

Sonic thought his archfoe was talking to HIM, "Above average, probably mediocre!"

Eggman snapped, "NOT YOU, SONIC! HERON!"

Heron's response shocked Eggman, "Somewhat mediocre. If I was a reviewer and not an insurance adjuster, I'd give it 3 out of 10."

"You're not a reviewer?" Eggman asked.

Heron nodded, "Well, duh! Of course I'm not, but it does not change you are treating me with kindness." Eggman almost got mad, but he gained composure quickly, "Okay, um, maybe you have any idea WHO the reviewer is?"

Heron nodded, "Try asking that figure over there." He was gesturing to the dark cloaked figure at the other table. "AGH!" Eggman cried, the figure looked very bored. He quickly grabbed a tea kettle and ran over to the table.

"Care for a spot of tea?" Eggman asked

Amy protested, "HEY! WE'VE BEEN WAITING!"

Eggman yelled back, "HANG ON YOU HARPY PINK FREAK!"

"I'd love some tea." The figure replied, "But make it decaf, okay? I don't want to be all jittery today."

Eggman got curious, "Uh. Why?"

"I'm selling vacuum cleaners!"

"SELLING VACCUM CLEANERS? Since when? IS THAT EVEN A THING? There's a reviewer here, there is supposed to be AND WHAT AM I DOING PROBABLY WASTING TIME WITH IMBICILES LIKE ALL OF YOU!"

Lady Walrus was outraged, "Well! I'd never. This is appalling!"

Amy stood up with her hands on her hips, smirking, "Most of all, the reviewer is right over here and letting you know that she is here. Guess who it is, Egghead? I happen to be the reviewer!"

Eggman was shocked, this was one thing he never saw coming. "Well, look at what happened!" He shouted, "This whole thing has been a fiasco. Time for the old standby and get something important done!"

He pressed a button and trapped every one of his guests within a force field...

Mayor Fink was napping in his office when the telephone rang, waking him up.

"Whoa!" Fink was startled at first but was able to pick up the phone to answer who was calling him. "City hall here!"

Eggman's threatening voice spoke on the other end, "I just took your villagers hostage. Get rid of my own fees and leave my lair and me off the hook OR I WILL GET RID OF THEM!"

Fink freaked, "Who's this? Hang on. Lemme go get my hostage negotiator's hat!"

He put down the phone and looked around for a "hostage negotiation hat".

Eggman quickly got impatient! He was about to decide upon what to do when a boomerang smacked his wrist controller and disabled the force field, it was Sticks and she'd come out of her hiding spot to help everyone escape and deal with the mad doctor.

Soon as the shield fell and Team Sonic got ready to fight, Eggman summoned his Scorpion Bots and Moto Bugs to attack.

The guests, specifically the villagers, screamed and ran for cover as Sonic and his friends bravely fought back. Amy used her hammer and martial arts, Tails used his wrench and flying abilities, Sonic used his speed and Knuckles used his towels as weapons along with his fists and brute force.

The battle was going smoothly and fairly until Sonic smacked a Scorpion Bot along with a Moto Bug...and knocked them into Eggman's old Doomsday Device! The machine sprung to life, whirring and humming as the countdown ticked away! "We're in trouble now!" Sonic and Eggman shouted...

KABOOOOOM! The explosion by the Doomsday Device devastated the lair and sent everyone flying high into the air; Team Sonic, Eggman, Admiral Beaverton, Perci and Staci, Zooey, the Walruses and, most of all, THE MYSTERY FIGURE! Not to mention Redd Heron too.

The Sonic Gang and most of the hotel guests started to fall, but the cloaked guy was the last to be up in the air. Desperate to slow his descent, he removed his cloak and turned it into a parachute, finally revealing to us that DB Platypus was the mystery figure and one of the hotel guests.

Everyone came crashing down to Earth in the ruins of Eggman's lair, thankfully they landed upon Sticks' pillow fort she built earlier. Knuckles used a towel to act like a parachute too while DB Platypus landed on his head, miraculously surviving. Everyone recovered from the fall and Eggman looked at the ruins and started to wail, "I'M RUINED!"

Redd Heron stepped in, "Not if Red Heron has something to say about it." Eggman looked surprised at first until the bird explained, "Even though there was misguided consumptions and plot contrivances, you were very nice to me. In return, I can provide you with an insurance settlement, rebuild your lair and pay your fines and fees on the behalf of good old Eggman Industries.

Eggman was happy, "Then everything will be back to normal!"

Days later, the lair was rebuilt and things did go back to normal. But Eggman, much to his dismay, found himself stuck with a surplus of trash consisting of what had been left of his lair! Instead of going to the government again, which would bring him back to his hotel plan, he decided to get rid of the trash himself.

Shooing Cubot and Orbot away, Eggman backed up and tossed a bomb at the dumpster. BOOM! The bomb exploded and all the trash was destroyed, what remained ended up in the ocean and some hit the lava and melted.

"Now we're really okay again." Eggman said with a satisfied evil smirk.

THE END!