Chapter 39
Weeks would pass by.
The lessons did indeed get harder and harder for Itadori, but there was a problem. He is stuck on one of the memories being shown to him. He hasn't been able to make it all the way through it either. After all, it was the memory of when Sukuna took over his body after eating so many fingers. He killed thousands of people, and then, took out a whole section of the city on a whim. Yuuji had struggled to watch it all, but he still remembers when he regained control of himself, and Sukuna told him to take a good look.
He knew there were people in the area that got vaporized, he knew there were innocent lives lost in that moment he couldn't control Sukuna. All that damage was done by his hands… because he allowed such a terrible being to do it.
BLECH!
He was physically ill once more over the memories he was forced to watch.
"I can't, I just can't!" Yuuji protested. "I can't watch this, WHY am I to observe this?!" he demanded of Kitsune.
She had remained firm in her training, she refused to gloss over any moment of Sukuna's life when he was within Yuuji, but this was one of the toughest memories he had to recall.
"You have to see it through, and understand why I am showing you this. I cannot tell you the answer, you have to figure it out yourself!" she stated. "Sit down, and watch it again," she ordered.
"I can't, I'm going to be sick again!" he protested. He has thrown up each and every time he watches the memory, he shakes his head to it all. "Kitsune… I can't, please…" he begged of her. "It just shows me, despite who I save… Sukuna takes away 100 fold!" he protested. "These people died… because he had control of my body!"
"These people died for he had consumed most of his original power back," she said in a correcting tone. "These deaths are not your fault…"
"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!" he demanded. "He used THESE hands to do it!"
Tears wielded up in his eyes, he refused to continue any farther with this. "I… I just can't."
She sighed aloud. "We will continue to train in a day. You will see this through, young master. And know I am not doing this out of spite. I am doing this for the good of us all."
He snapped awake.
Sadly, he has been waking up to his own mess as of late. Ever since Kitsune insisted on him learning all about Sukuna and how he fights, he is forced to see what terrible things he has done thanks to him being a 'demon vessel'. He cleared the vomit from his shirt and then got everything ready to wash again.
Nobara and Fushiguro looked on with concern as he cleaned everything up again. They were disgusted the first time it happened, but it's been a few days now. They are worried.
He wouldn't tell them.
He refuses to burden his friends with his troubles, after all, this fight to come is between him and Sukuna, no one else.
They went to class as usual. Their lessons done for the day and there was even time for a mission. "We have been receiving news about a wondering curse here. He's been tearing people apart…"
Yuuji then recalled the man Sukuna severed in half on a whim.
"BLECH!" Yuuji was sick off to the side.
His friends froze as he tried to shrug it off. "You've been sick an awful lot as of late. Are you okay?" Nobara asked.
He kept silent. "It's not something you should know." He said meekly.
"Yuuji…" Gojo sensei said in a warning tone. "We spoke of this too! You don't have to hold everything in."
He turned away from his friends. "It's not something I want to share!" he said. "It's what Sukuna did with my body when he got control of it… it's what happened when I blacked out! It's… it's… it's all because of me…" he dropped to his knees. The tears fell from his eyes. "I have tried to save people, as many as I can… but when I see these memories of Sukuna… everything I did was canceled out. For every life I saved, he took a thousand! How is that fair? How can I believe I made a difference when he has done that?"
Silence befell them.
Itadori wept but slowly stood up again. The tears stopped as he grew rather angry. He vanished as a loud crack was heard!
The curse they were hunting… just got impaled by Yuuji effortlessly.
He dropped it off to the side of the road and allowed it to decay. "Itadori…" Gojo said gently yet in a firm voice. "Not every life can be saved… not every action can be controlled or is life fair to those who do no wrong and try to live as best as possible. The world is cruel, but because there are people like you, it can be tolerable." He approached his student. His hands went on his shoulders as he said. "You have endured so much, and you don't realize, despite the lives lost… millions more would have been taken had it not been for you."
"What do you mean?" he demanded. "Sensei…"
"A demon vessel is one in a million." Fushiguro began to say. "As such, to this day until now… there has been no report or anything written about a demon vessel that managed to suppress the demon they obtain."
Gojo sensei nodded. "It's all true," he said to Yuuji. "You have been able to keep him in check, the loss of lives are great, but millions more would have been gone in the blink of an eye, if you couldn't have done what you did."
He felt a little better, but not by a whole lot.
They were prepared to go back to the dorms, when Yuuji paused. He turned and saw Kitsune lingering behind them. "Not right now," he said gently.
"This cannot wait," she insisted. "Gojo…"
He nodded to her and waved off Yuuji. "I would be listening to her as much as me." He said in a warning tone.
Yuuji sighed as he approached Kitsune. "Are we training now? Why?" Suddenly she took out her fan, with a flip of the wrist it turned from white to black, and then everything went dark before his eyes.
Light suddenly appeared out of nowhere, but he was surrounded by people he hasn't met. But then, some faces began to appear that he knew very well.
The people killed by Sukuna when he possessed him.
They surrounded him from all angles, the thousands of lives lost to the demonic sorcerer. He feared they would want their retribution…
He began to tremble, falling to his knees he bowed before them all. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry!" he wept.
He didn't know how long he was on the ground like that, but he was forced to sit up when someone slapped him in the back of the head! "Why are you on your knees for boy!"
He suddenly sat up, but… why was he here?
"Grandfather?" he asked.
SMACK!
"OW!"
"That's for being stupid!" he said. Yuuji paused, yeah. He had that coming…
"Grandfather… I have done terrible things to people… those around you here, died because I ate a cursed object, it woke…"
SMACK!
"OW!" he protested again.
"Just because I am dead, doesn't mean I don't look out over you!"
He froze. His grandfather knew everything?
He lowered his head shamefully. "I couldn't keep my promise… I couldn't honor your final words…"
"Do I need to smack you again?" he demanded. "You didn't do any of that, those actions were not yours!" He turned to those in the room. "Did my grandson kill you?"
They shook their heads no.
There were two teenage girls lingering near by, he could sense what faint curse energy came off their spirits. "We should have known better than to trust Sukuna… his awakening that brought our deaths and some of those around you, was our doing." Said one with black hair.
"Listen to us, you have to stop him!" said the blond. "If you don't, you will mourn the dead too soon, for we will be the few of the many yet to come."
He heard those around them agree, Sukuna has to be stopped, he has to be the one to do it…
Yuuji has to see what has been done, what he has to do… what he will need to endure.
The room appeared to have gone dark once more, yet still standing before him was his grandfather. His hand gently came on to his shoulder. "Grandfather…" he said meekly. "Am I still the same grandson you left behind?"
A smirk came over him. "No, my grandson was a boy when I left him, he has since become a man." He patted his shoulders. "Now, go stop this son of a bitch,"
#
His head snapped forward.
Yuuji found himself before Kitsune once more in the soul space where they train. "Now, do you feel better?" she asked.
"A… A little, I mean, was that a dream?" he asked.
She covered a giggle. "Since when has any of this been a dream for you?"
"Good point, but then how…"
"A favor, it's all I could do to get you to focus again. I don't wish to burden your heart with these memories. But they must be shown so you can better understand and prepare yourself." She said gently. "We don't have much time…"
"Let's start," he said confidently.
She appeared startled to how serious he was, but she nodded to him. "Indeed, let's begin…"
#
He endured it. He had to endure it. If not, more people will end up dying because of Sukuna.
The images were not easy to see, nor simple to digest. Yuuji however kept his eyes on Sukuna in the memories, watching his hand movements, but knew there was more it than that. Yet the more he watched, the more he began to remember Aoi and his lessons when it came to clapping.
The timing of it all!
He sat back realizing that with the hand gestures, he has to time the strikes too! They can strike faster than he can move. His angles of physical blows, the position of his feet… he needed to know it all.
"Again Kitsune, please," he said for the fourth time that night.
She was stunned, but did as he asked.
He saw the whole thing six times. He knows Sukuna's hand movements, his angles and footwork. He will go over it again tomorrow night, but for the moment. He feels he has accomplished enough. "That is all for now, are you okay young master?" she asked gently.
"I think so… I really hope so…" he said offhandedly.
He woke that morning without an incident. His bed was clean and so was he. He sighed with relief, but his mind was going over everything once more. "I have to know his every move… I need to get a lot stronger!" he said with great determination.
Getting dressed for the day, he ate a quick meal before setting off to find Gojo sensei.
Today, he wants to battle him seriously.