Chapter Six:
After eight and a half hours, the flight finally lands. Claire slept, but she doesn't know if she'd really classify it as sleep.
When she did manage to drift off, she was plagued with images of Jamie and Frank's faces, both pleading with her to love them.
She now is not only mentally exhausted, but she's physically exhausted, too, her eyes burning with the need for more than an hour or two of slumber.
Frank had already agreed to pick them up from Hartsfield-Jackson before they left, so as they're waiting to deboard the plane, she quietly reminds the girls not to say anything to him about Jamie, and she wonders if the girls can actually do it. She hopes so.
God, this is so hard. Not only does she feel guilty about being with Frank when she now knows Jamie is alive, she's consumed with this overwhelming sense of guilt over asking the girls to lie.
She knows it's not a lie, per se, more just having a secret, but it makes her feel uncomfortable, a sick feeling in her stomach. Her gut is twisted, a sensation as if it's tying itself into a knot that will never be undone.
The girls both adore Frank, and asking them to do this is really unfair, but she has no choice. Frank cannot know Jamie is alive, not for any selfish reason, but for the safety of her husband's life. She trusts Frank implicitly, but this is just too big, too much. If Frank were to find out, it could get Jamie killed for real this time, and she'd never forgive herself for that.
As they ascend up the escalator, both girls gripping her hands, they spot Frank. He's standing just outside baggage claim with all the other people, a sign in his hand that reads Welcome home, girls! with a big heart drawn on the poster.
She smiles despite herself. He really is sweet, and the girls rush over to him, both squealing and hugging him in excitement.
"Hello, darlings!" he croons, laughing and hugging them both to his legs. He peppers kisses to the tops of their heads, smiling up at Claire as she approaches.
He has these smile lines around his mouth that she always found attractive, and they deepen when he looks her way. Oddly enough, a sense of calm washes over her at seeing him. Like everything in life is back to normal now that they're on their home turf.
He's comfort. She knows this routine; this is their new normal, and she has to admit that it's nice to see him.
When she finally gets to him, he wraps her in a warm hug, the mixture of his laundry detergent and cologne washing over her, and she almost wants to cry. She's missed him, and the emotions of the last few days are catching up to her. She wants to cry to someone, have someone who isn't Jamie or John or Hector listen to what she's going through… but she can't, and the reality of it all crashes back into her mind like a freight train crashing into a brick wall.
Frank kisses her, his lips warm and wet against hers. It's odd, really, kissing him with the knowledge of Jamie being alive in her mind, but she kisses him back, whispering that she missed him.
"You'll have to tell me all about Spain in the car, yes?" he asks, looking between all three girls. "I want to hear every detail!"
The girls are teeming with excitement, both bouncing on their heels as they nod and start rambling about different things they did, while Claire sends up a silent prayer to whoever might be listening that they both remember not to say anything about Jamie.
Wrapping one arm around her shoulder as he takes Bree's hand, and Faith holding Claire's, they walk to baggage claim and locate their items, the girls still chattering on.
"And we got to see the inside of a palace!" Faith exclaims, taking her suitcase once Claire grabs it from the carousel.
"You did?!" Frank asks, full of excitement, even though Claire had already told him of their trip to the palace on the phone the other night.
She grins listening to him animatedly converse with the girls, Brianna jumping up and down beside Frank and tugging on his sleeve. "I ran through the halls and pretended I was a princess!"
Frank beams, tapping the end of her nose, "Well that's because you are a princess, darling."
Brianna's eyes grow wide, looking around Frank and up to Claire. Her eyes then land on Faith who is smiling just as wide, saying if Brianna is a princess, then she is too, and the girls dissolve into a fit of laughter as they once again pretend to be royalty.
Once they pick up the rest of their bags, Frank helps them carry everything to the car and load up before setting off for home. They live about twenty-five minutes outside of Atlanta, and with it being a Friday afternoon, she knows it'll take longer to get there, which worries her. She's missed Frank, but she honestly wants to get home and send him away so she doesn't have to be on edge at every moment, afraid one of the girls will mention Daddy by accident.
While in the car, the girls continue telling Frank about the royal palace, the zoo, all the parks they saw, and the foods they ate.
"The pal… paletta?" Bree's face scrunches up. "Is that how I say it, Mama?"
"Paella."
Brianna nods, "Yeah, that! It was so good!"
Claire smiles to herself, listening as Faith pipes in, adding that she loved the churros best.
"Oh, yeah!" Brianna says, snapping her fingers as if just remembering the dessert they couldn't get enough of. "We gotta learn to make those! Frank, do you know how?"
Frank chuckles, looking at the girls from his rearview mirror. "I don't, but I'm sure I can learn. We can make them one day after school, how about that?"
Faith and Brianna's eyes grow wide, cheering in the backseat at the news, and Claire smiles, reaching to run her fingers along Frank's arm as he continues to drive, silently thanking him for being so wonderful with her children.
The girls tell him more about the zoo, and Claire's hand freezes on Frank's arm, knowing it was their first activity with Jamie. She goes still, her breath barely coming out as she worries her lip, especially when Faith claims once more that she wants to study zoology—a term Jamie taught her—because the animals were so fascinating. Claire doesn't think she'll actually stick with that, knowing Faith was so into it because of Jamie and his love for animals, but she'll let her figure that out as time goes on.
Claire's breathing returns to normal when Faith finishes her story with no mention of her father, and her hand continues it's path along Frank's arm.
He looks over at her, obviously noticing her momentary pause. He glances down as her hand, then over to her, before looking back at the girls again briefly.
"Sounds like you three had a great time!"
Frank smiles over at Claire once more, taking her hand. She intertwines their fingers, albeit hesitantly, smiling softly at him as the radio plays quietly. They get stuck in a bit of traffic on the interstate, and when the car goes silent, Frank looks in his rearview mirror, chuckling under his breath.
"They've both fallen asleep," he says, jutting his chin toward the back of his SUV.
Claire looks over her shoulder, eyes sinking closed in relief that she can relax a little. "We're all exhausted," she admits. "I didn't sleep well on the flight."
"Really?"
She shakes her head, thumb rubbing the back of his hand, and she's struck with how normal this feels.
"Well maybe you'll sleep better tonight, love," he says softly, telling her that he'd already prepared dinner, just needs to pop it in the oven to warm it back up.
Smiling, she thanks him, thankful she gave him a key years ago to make it easier, and before she can fight it any longer, her eyes close, drifting off to sleep for the next half hour.
{*********************}
Once they arrive home, Claire sighs out in relief.
It's good to be home.
She and Frank unload the girls, Brianna curling into Frank's neck, unwilling to wake up long enough to walk inside.
Faith wakes up, helping roll her suitcase inside while Frank gets Brianna's.
It's only five o'clock, but they're all starving, their bodies still on Madrid time.
They leave their suitcases at the foot of the stairs, all piling into the kitchen when Frank tells the girls that he's cooked dinner. He gently shakes Bree awake so that she can go sit at the table, her little head falling against her folded arms as soon as she sits down.
Grinning, he makes his way in, preheating the oven. After a few minutes, he pops the chicken and vegetables in, the aroma soon filling the kitchen.
Claire and the girls, Brianna now more awake, sit around the table, munching on some grapes and pineapple until the food is ready. The girls are still going on about the royal palace, and Claire bemusedly wonders if they'll ever stop talking about it.
They enjoy a nice family dinner, Frank filling them in on what he did while they were away. "Dreadfully boring stuff, I'm afraid," he says with a grin, "graded papers, went to a friend's house and watched some telly."
"Did anyone fail?" Faith asks, grinning.
Frank laughs, shaking his head and informing her that he didn't have any interesting stories this time of failing students begging for extensions or extra credit. Faith always loves to laugh at those. "Sadly, my dear, everyone did their work this time, and did it quite well, actually."
"Well that's not as fun!" Brianna laughs, stabbing her last bite of chicken.
Frank ruffles her hair, picking up his fork and smiling across the table at Claire.
She smiles back, enjoying the food before her and glad the subject has transferred from their trip to Frank's work. There's less fear of Jamie being brought up that way, and she sighs to herself, listening as he tells her daughters about how he went to the grocery store and bought cinnamon raisin bread.
"You did?" Brianna asks around a bite of green beans, "But you never buy yummy stuff like that!"
Frank laughs, then takes a sip of water. "Mm," he says, wiping his mouth with a napkin, "But I know how much you girls love it, and when I saw it, I thought of you." He smiles, adding with a wink, "I've had it everyday for breakfast since you've been gone."
Faith and Brianna giggle, while Claire smiles at the three of them, soaking up this moment before she sends Frank away.
{************************}
After dinner, the girls take their luggage upstairs to their bedrooms, leaving Claire and Frank alone downstairs.
She stands awkwardly at the foot of the stairs, tucking her hands into her back pocket. "Well," she starts, clearing her throat. The evening has been fine, peaceful even, but she's tired and wants to be alone to try and figure things out. She grimaces, knowing Frank probably wants to spend some time alone with her, but she looks at him instead and says, "I'm actually really tired, Frank. I think it might be best if you head home."
"O-oh," he stammers, looking hurt. His brows scrunch just briefly, recovering quickly, but Claire can see his confusion. He nods, smiling reassuringly. "Alright."
God, she feels like a monster, but she just needs to be alone right now. She feels like her mind is going to explode if she has to continue this fake-niceness she's been putting on all throughout dinner.
She has feelings for Frank, loves him, even, despite the revelation of those feelings being relatively new, and not being able to tell him about Jamie makes her head hurt more than any hangover she's ever had.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, saying again how exhausted she is. "I just want to unpack, soak in the tub and then crawl into bed. I'll text you later, though."
Frank smiles softly, understanding like always, though she can see the hurt in his eyes. He steps closer, pulling her into her arms. He presses a kiss to her lips, one that she lets herself sink into for just a moment before pulling away and smiling awkwardly up at him.
"Have a good soak," he grins, winking as he steps away. "Maybe drink a glass of red while you're in there and really relax. Remember you have that face mask you bought the other week still, I guarantee you've been too busy to use it."
Chuckling softly, she nods, because he's right. He knows her so well.
Before he can open the front door, she hastens her steps, joining him in the threshold. "Thank you for today," she says, "and for everything."
He gives her an odd look, and she knows she must sound like a lunatic, so before he can ask, she kisses him once more, this one more soundly.
Breaking the embrace, Frank smiles that warm smile at her, saying he'll call her in the morning and leaves.
With a heavy sigh, she trudges up the stairs.
She pads down the hall, peeking into Faith's room. She's there, dancing around her room as music softly plays from her iPad. The eldest redhead is slowly pulling items from her luggage, tossing the dirty clothes into the hamper in her closet, and dutifully hanging up the clean stuff.
Claire smiles, glad to see Faith is making some progress. It's always been her belief that as soon as you arrive from a trip, go ahead and unpack, otherwise it'll take you weeks to do so.
"Need any help?" she asks, laughing when Faith jumps in surprise.
The little girl holds a hand over her obviously racing heat, but giggles, saying she's almost done.
"Okay," she smiles, "bath time soon and then we can all crawl into bed early."
"Sounds good, Mama!"
With that, Claire steps across the hall, peering into Brianna's room.
Shaking her head, she can't help but laugh. Brianna has dumped her suitcase all out in the middle of the floor, dirty and clean clothes mixed together. Bree is sprawled out on her bed, playing with the little flamenco dancer doll they'd picked up one day on their trip.
"What are you doing, darling?"
"Just playin'!"
"I see that," she chuckles. "What about all the clothes?" Claire gestures toward the pile on the floor, and Brianna at least has the decency to look sheepish about it, her ears growing pink like Jamie's do when he's in trouble.
Bree lets out a dramatic sigh when she realizes Claire isn't going to leave, and rolls off of the bed, hopping over to the pile of clothes. She starts rummaging through them, separating the clean from the dirty, but Claire stops her, saying it's all dirty now. "Just put it all in your hamper and we'll do laundry tomorrow."
"Okay! That's easy!"
Laughing, she tells Bree the same thing she told Faith—unpack, bath, early bedtime—and her little ball of energy agrees, but begs for a story, too, claiming she's not very tired since she slept on the plane and in the car.
"We'll see," she declares, stepping into the hallway to speak loud enough for both girls to hear. "I'm going to be in my room unpacking, then we'll get ready for bed."
"And a story!" Bree shouts.
"And a story…" she finally agrees, causing twin cheers to come from both rooms.
She walks into her bedroom, beyond tempted to just flop onto her bed and sleep for the next forty-eight hours, but she knows the girls would never let her live it down if she didn't unpack right away like they had to.
Making her way through her clothes and toiletries, Claire thinks over the trip. Aside from finding out her dead husband was actually alive and living in witness protection, it was actually a great vacation.
Spain was beautiful, and she'd taken plenty of pictures to look through later and post on social media.
She sends Geillis and Joe a quick text, letting them know she and the girls have made it home safely.
We're currently unpacking then sleeping for the next two days, I'm sure.
Joe responds first, saying he's glad and that he'll see her on Monday. I want to hear all about it and see all the pictures at work, LJ.
Then comes Geillis' response, asking, Did ye find a hot Spanish man to spend some time with?
Rolling her eyes, she reminds her friend that she has Frank, to which Geillis just sends back an eye rolling emoji, causing Claire to laugh.
She texts Murtagh, accompanying it with a picture she took of the girls on the aeroplane. Back home. We're exhausted but will call you tomorrow.
It's really all she can think to say, claiming jet lag will at least buy her a few days from her friends, and she's hoping from Murtagh, too.
Glad to hear it, lass. Will come by one day soon to see ye and my girls.
Smiling softly, she closes her phone, quickly finishing her unpacking.
Before long, she notices how quiet the house has grown, and after tucking her now empty suitcase into her closet, she goes to check on the girls.
She finds them cuddled together in Brianna's bed with Faith softly reading The Witches of Benevento series. They're up to book five, and she listens from the doorway as Faith reads about the annual boar hunt the eighteenth century children are going on, one little girl, Rosa, hoping to be the first girl ever to win the golden tusks.
Little stinkers, she should've known they wouldn't wait on her to start the book.
Grinning, she tiptoes in, kissing them both and putting away Bree's suitcase that is still laying in the middle of the floor—at least she put her clothes away, Claire thinks with a huffed laugh.
Seeing that the girls are settled for a while, Brianna's hand gently stroking through Faith's hair, Claire decides to be productive.
She goes into Brianna's closet, picking up the now full laundry basket. "I'm going to go start the laundry," she whispers, not wanting to interrupt the fascinating tale, and the girls both give her zoned out waves of acknowledgement.
With a smirk, she goes to Faith's room, dumping her hamper into Bree's, then making her way down the hall toward the laundry room.
Once faced with the washing machine, however, Claire decides that she's far too exhausted to start laundry, knowing that will also entail drying—and since Claire insists on hang drying their jeans, it's just too much work for right now.
She leaves the hamper in front of the washer, telling herself she will do it tomorrow even if it kills her, and heads back to Brianna's bedroom.
Her bathtub really is calling her name, her muscles aching from the long trip, but she also just wants to cuddle her babies and relax with them.
Cuddles win out, and Claire climbs into the bed, scooching the girls over so she can fit as well.
Faith and Brianna are in pajamas already, though she knows neither one bathed yet. They're bound to fall asleep before the story ends, so she gives up on the hopes of baths tonight, and she pushes thoughts away of germs crawling over their skin from the airports from her mind.
"Do you girls want to take showers tonight?" she asks with a touch of hope in her voice when Faith finishes a chapter, even though she knows what the answer will be.
Her arm drapes over both their bellies as they shake their heads.
"I'm too tired, Mama," Brianna replies, Faith turning in Claire's embrace to face her.
"Me, too," she whispers, her breath huffing out onto the tip of Claire's nose. "We brushed our teeth, though."
"Well that's a start," Claire muses, smiling at them, and actually quite glad they'd had the foresight to at least do that. She'll make them bathe first thing in the morning.
She drags herself out of bed and next door to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and running it under the warm tap water. She wrings it out, taking it back to Brianna's room and washing the dirt off their feet quickly while Faith continues to read, trying not to giggle when Claire scrubs at the bottom of her foot.
Knowing Brianna will sleepily protest before long, she turns the washcloth over, running it rapidly over their arms before running to toss the cloth in the laundry room with everything else.
When she gets back, she crawls into the bed again and kisses Faith's cheek, settling more into the mattress to listen to the story. Faith hands her the book, however, begging her to read the next chapter for them.
Claire takes the book, turning the page and diving into Rosa's quest for the boar.
While she reads, her fingers trace soft patterns against Brianna's stomach. Faith is in the middle, her little hand tracing the same type of patterns to Claire's forearm that rests on her stomach.
Not even half-way through the chapter, both girls have fallen asleep so Claire slips a bookmark in and places the book on the bedside table, then stands. She picks up Faith, and with one skilled, motherly hand, pulls the blanket up over Bree's little body.
She tiptoes across the hall to Faith's room and places her in bed as well, pressing a kiss to her temple as she tucks the covers around her. "Goodnight, sweetheart," she whispers, turning out the light.
Once both girls are nestled into bed, Claire finally fills her large garden tub up with warm, bubbly water and sinks in.
Thoughts of that wine Frank mentioned come to mind, but that requires going all the way back downstairs, and that just isn't happening.
She does, however, put on the face mask that she's been wanting to use, and settles in for a relaxing bath.
Forgot the wine, but the mask is nice. Remind me to get another one next time I'm at the store!
Her gut twists at the text, guilt over how familiar things are with Frank tearing at her insides.
Will do, love. Glad you're able to get some alone time.
Ten minutes later, her muscles finally relaxed, Claire feels herself dozing off.
Before she can fall asleep in the tub, she drains the water and rinses the mask off of her face.
She wraps a fuzzy towel around her body, padding over to her vanity to apply moisturizer to her skin. While she's lotioning up her legs, she hears her phone go off with a text.
Glancing over, she sees it's from an unknown number, which she instantly knows is Jamie.
She washes her hands quickly, taking her phone and walking over to the king sized bed.
Just landed, it reads.
She types back a Good. How was the flight?, and he tells her it was fine.
Her stomach just about falls out when he asks, Can I come over?
Nerves swell in her belly. Chewing on her bottom lip, she thinks of Frank and how she'd sent him away tonight. Thinks of that hurt look in his eyes. Then she thinks of Jamie, and his beautiful blue eyes, how excited he looked every day in Spain to see them again. He's missed so much time with his family, doesn't she owe it to him to let him spend as much time as possible with them?
Even though the girls are asleep, he can at least peek in on them… She's well aware that she's just making excuses, just a reason for her to see him again, but, well, it's been years, and she thought he was dead, she deserves to spend as much time as possible with him before he goes back to North Carolina.
With a determined look in her eye, and before she can over think it even more, she types Sure and sends him the address.
{**********************}
Thanks so much for the support on the last chapter! I was worried people were going to be upset over Claire's struggle between Jamie and Frank, but everyone was super understanding! For anyone that might be losing faith, please be patient about the whole situation. Remember this is a JamiexClaire fic, and we know everything will work out in the end, but Claire needs a minute to figure things out. It's only been a few days for her, and it's a lot to process lol
I hope you enjoyed this one… please review! :)