A moon after the Bloodclan battle, Cloudtail takes Princess to Brindleface's grave. His wounds are mostly healed, but Princess can't help but glance at the one wound at his neck, still stark against his white fur. She'd known that she'd be giving Cloudtail to a far more dangerous life than her own, of course. But she hadn't known the extent of its possibilities until she'd seen his state a half-moon after the battle.
They stop, and Cloudtail shifts a few blades of grass aside to reveal a small mound of earth. Winter's bite is still in the air, but a few flower buds are poking up from the dirt. Brindleface's resting place.
"Sandstorm said that Brindleface always liked this part of the forest," Cloudtail mews quietly. "She loved tulips. Fernpaw and I snuck off from training to get Brindleface some. She's the one who suggested carrying over some bulbs to plant here." They're silent after that.
—
Princess knows well that Cloudtail is the only one who visits this place on a regular basis. Sandstorm visits her mother's grave sporadically because she's now got an apprentice to train (Sorrelpaw is more than a pawful, the ginger tabby confides); Fernpaw and Ashpaw are getting ready to take their assessments.
"I don't visit her that often." One day, Fernpaw admits that to Princess. It's a quarter moon after the Bloodclan battle; Princess is visiting Thunderclan for a short while to check up on Cloudtail. "Brindleface, I mean. My mom. I thought that if I immersed myself in my duties, I'd forget her eventually. Just… maybe I'd be able to focus on other things more. But I just feel more guilty about it. "
Princess lets the gray apprentice lean on her shoulder. She listens while Fernpaw pours out what's inside her head - about how she misses Brindleface so much, how Fernpaw wants to move on but also wants to keep remembering her mother, about how Fernpaw never expected to lose Brindleface this quickly, how Fernpaw always felt like Brindleface was an anchor in her world, being the only parent that Fernpaw ever got to know. Fernpaw goes on to tell Princess how much guilt she feels about Brightheart and Swiftpaw, because she should've stopped them when they decided to sneak out in the middle of the night but she didn't and -
Fernpaw breaks off then, and Princess gives Fernpaw a comforting pat on the paw. Princess goes back to her Twoleg nest long after the sun has set that day.
The next day, Princess visits Thunderclan again and carefully asks Dustpelt to ask Longtail if Fernpaw can take a day off of her duties sometime soon and makes Cloudtail promise to take Fernpaw to Brindleface, even for a short while.
—
Ashpaw is more closed-off. Princess doesn't know him that well in comparison to Fernpaw, who opens up to the kittypet after several visits. Even though Princess does make an effort to converse with the speckled gray tom sometimes, Ashpaw tends to wander off with a flick of his tail after a few words.
Cloudtail tells Princess that Ashpaw's been struggling - being difficult, contrary. Arguing with Dustpelt and shutting out his family. (Fernpaw has told Princess that connecting to her brother is harder than it used to be.)
The best guess Princess can make is that Ashpaw is still grieving. He hasn't yet managed to get his closure, according to Frostfur. The white-furred queen sits by Princess, watching her nephew pad across the clearing, rabbit in his mouth.
"I see Brindleface in him in so many ways," Frostfur tells Princess. "He's fierce. And loyal. Brindleface was like that. She was so loyal to her family, too." The white molly curls her tail around her haunches. "Both Ashpaw and Fernpaw are like that. But I think Ashpaw's more so than his sister."
As the brown tabby sees Ashpaw nibble at his rabbit across the ThunderClan camp, Princess hopes that she might talk to him and listen to him properly. Someday.
—
Princess hears of Alderkit and Tulipkit some time after she listens to Fernpaw - first a snatch from Cloudtail and later a more detailed explanation from Frostfur. Two poor scraps who died before they even had a proper chance to live, Alderkit dying before Tulipkit's ultimate demise.
Winter - Leaf-bare - can be harsh in the outdoors.
Princess chooses not to probe deeper than that, but she decides to pay their small graves a visit one day.
—
That day, Princess and Cloudtail don't talk much. Even after a moon, the clans are still recovering slowly from the threat of Scourge, and so are the cats who lost loved ones and clanmates in, before, and after the fight.
Eventually, the sun starts to go down. Cloudtail's fur is outlined with gold as he tells Princess that he should go back - Brightheart will be waiting.
"Give her my love," Princess tells Cloudtail with a purr. The white tom gives a wave of his tail as he pads off to ThunderClan.
Princess knows she ought to go too - her housefolk will be anxious. But today, she feels like there's the need to say something. She should have told Brindleface this in real life but never got the chance to.
"Hello," Princess begins, "Brindleface. We haven't met, but I've heard a lot about you… from Cloudtail. And Fernpaw and Frostfur. And… ThunderClan. I've heard that you were a great mother, a wonderful clanmate, and a good cat. And from the way your kits and Cloudtail have grown, I think that all those things are true."
Princess exhales. "I wanted to thank you for taking care of my son," she says. "I heard that Alderkit and Tulipkit died just before Cloudtail ever came to the forest, and you must have been so devastated then! But you still took Cloudtail in and nursed him like he was your own. For that, I can never thank you enough."
A breeze whistles through the trees, shaking the buds slightly. Princess shivers (it's still a little cold), and goes on. "And I came here to say that I want to repay the favor. By taking care of Ashpaw and Fernpaw, I mean. I can never replace you - and I don't want you to be replaced by me - but I want to say that I will take care of them as they are my own. As you did Cloudtail."
She bows her head and touches her nose to the soil. "Rest now," she whispers. "I'll watch over them."