A/N: I have views! Five views on this story! Compared to others, it does seem small, but I am ridiculously excited that somewhere between three and five people have found my Inuvember contribution. I hope it made them happy (or at least less bored). Here is Day 5, two days late. I usually like to let things sit for a week before the final edits so that the story can properly percolate in my mind, but I only left this one for an hour and I'm actually really proud of it! This is a reflection piece on Kaede's inner thoughts (which I seem to be better at than action or dialogue-heavy pieces). I hope to have my entries for days 6 and 7 up soon (7/Kikyō is already written, just needs some polishing) and to be fully caught up after skipping the Yashahime days. If anyone has a request for the free day (character or continuation of a previous chapter), please let me know in the comments. You're wish is (probably) my command!
Without further ado, please enjoy!
DAY 5
Kaede: Abandoned
Kaede sat beneath the Goshinboku where Inuyasha was sealed. It only happened a few days ago. The evening Kikyō died, Kaede slipped off to Onigumo's cave to tend to the bandit. She had never liked him; around Onigumo she always felt cold, anxious, and as though something was crawling across her skin. When he looked at her, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and her lungs refused to fill.
But he was a gravely injured man, one who could not even lift his own hand to feed himself, a man who only had one eye with which to gaze at them. Kikyō said they should feel pity for him. Kaede felt nothing but disgust.
Still, honor and responsibility bound her to fulfill Kikyō's duty, now that her sister was dead. Kaede entered the cave, holding her torch aloft, and walked to the place where Onigumo lay.
He wasn't there.
She dropped the food and water and frantically searched the cave for the bandit, quietly calling his name, yet afraid to hear an answer. If he could move from the place where he lay, what else could he do?
Not finding him, Kaede gathered up the things she dropped. It was then that she saw it. A patch of scorched earth, in the shape of a large spider. Right where Onigumo's back was supposed to be. She sat down to meditate, clearing her mind and trying to focus on her spiritual power as Kikyō had taught her. It took longer than usual, because Kaede was scared. Scared not only of what she might sense, but also of Onigumo returning. Finally, she succeeded in bringing her powers to the surface and opened her eyes, focusing on the energy in the air and the earth. The jaki of hundreds of lesser yōkai swirled in the air. Frightened, Kaede almost lost her grip on the reiki that allowed her to see this. The jaki all converged on one point, becoming one within the outline of a man that was not supposed to be able to move.
Kaede returned to the village without a word. She told no one of her discovery. What could she say? Whatever she said would surely send the villagers into a panic, and Kaede was supposed to be strong; now that Kikyō was gone, they turned to her for spiritual guidance. Besides, most of Kaede's conclusions were suspicions and guesses. The yōkai could have simply eaten Onigumo. While not unlikely, Kaede didn't think that was strictly what happened. She wished it had, she really did. Because Kaede's own theory terrified her.
Onigumo had always had his eye on Kikyō. He followed her with his gaze, heaped flattery and praise upon her, as well as sneaking in lewd comments. It started innocently enough - 'Kikyō-sama, one so divine such as yourself must surely have descended from the Heavens,' 'Kikyō-sama, surely one day you will make an excellent wife to an extremely lucky man,' 'Kikyō-sama, how I wish I could repay your kindness, but alas I have only my gratitude to offer,' - but soon crossed the line - 'Kikyō-sama, did you know that a celestial maiden can be bound to a mortal man if he takes her celestial robe for himself? I wonder what would happen if I could steal your celestial robes away?' 'Kikyō-sama, would that I could, I would whisk you away to become my wife and show you the pleasures that could be yours,' 'Kikyō-sama, last night I dreamed I was whole again and you were beneath me, calling out my name.' Even then, Kikyō admonished Kaede, saying they must pity him and that they had nothing to fear from a paralyzed man.
After their parents died, the priests and priestesses of a large shrine took pity on Kikyō and Kaede, sheltering the girls and training their spiritual gifts. Kaede usually escaped notice, as everyone focused on Kikyō's potential instead. While the priests and priestesses praised Kikyō's talent and pure heart, Kaede listened and learned. She recalled overhearing some of the adults whispering one night as they washed the dishes. Whispering of how a mortal man could become more - or less, depending on how one looked at it - for the price of his soul. Some demons gained power from the lesser demons they slew, absorbing their yōki into their own bodies. Weaker demons hunted in packs (if they could cooperate long enough to do so, instead of fighting and killing each other off instead). Some types of demons banded together and overpowered a host that would be strong enough to resist a few of them, but powerless against a horde. They whispered of the attempts of regular mortals and dark priests and priestesses alike in the past, of how they had opened themselves to the darkness and invited it in to devour their souls in exchange for power.
Kaede feared that was what Onigumo had done. His heart was already foul enough; all he needed to do was issue the invitation. The power he received in exchange for his soul would grant him an undamaged body and the ability to act on his words, as well as so much more. It would twist him further. It would make him powerful, whole, and to resist him could easily cost one's life.
Kikyō died of her wounds the day Inuyasha tried, and failed, to steal the Shikon Jewel. Three savage scratches across her back and shoulder. It could have been Inuyasha; he had at long last succumbed to the pull of the Sacred Jewel and his yōkai nature, taking it for his own. But even then, he hadn't killed or seriously injured anyone to get it. The temple was in flames and he evaded all attempts to recapture the Jewel with ease, but only Kikyō was dead.
Kaede knew Inuyasha was a half-demon, wild and untamed, but he had never tried to harm her or Kikyō. He had been almost… gentle. Afraid of causing harm. Closed off, but only to protect the kind and tender heart he had walled off and hidden away in order to survive. She had never felt afraid in his presence, or because of him. Not like she felt around Onigumo. She was wary, as one always should be when dealing with yōkai, but she grew less and less so the longer she knew Inuyasha. It must have been Onigumo who wounded Kikyō.
And so, Kaede sat beneath the Sacred Tree, looking up at Inuyasha. She was angry with him. Like Kikyō, and the parents before her whom she could not recall, he left her. In a few years, Kaede would have been old enough to either be given in marriage or to serve another village as a full-fledged priestess. But, right now, she was still a child. A child who had lost both her sister and the man who was to become her older brother. A child who was to take up the mantle of her sister and follow in her shadow.
"I should have told you about Onigumo," she spoke to the slumbering hanyō, even though he could not respond, "I should have told you the things he said."
If Inuyasha knew, then maybe Onigumo wouldn't have lived long enough to sell his soul and attack Kikyō. The thought of people being killed wasn't pleasant, but if Kaede had known what was to come she would have done it herself. Smothered Onigumo before he could do more harm. Before he could rip her tiny family apart.
"You were supposed to wait for sister Kikyō to bring the Jewel. You could have become human and married her and we all would have been happy. What went wrong?" Onigumo went wrong. Onigumo and the nature of all yōkai.
"I hate you," she whispered. And then Kaede's voice grew louder, more full of pain. "You weren't supposed to leave us! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" She screamed at him, crying bitter tears, shaking with grief and rage.
Why did people have to leave? First her parents. Now Kikyō and Inuyasha. She was alone again; alone and uncared for. Abandoned. She hated everything that took everyone away from her. Kaede hated the Shikon no Tama.