Dean knew as soon as he felt it and heard that sickening sound that it was all over. Sam threw that vermin off of him, and it took all Dean had to not have a meltdown.
"Dean, come on, let's get out of here, we gotta make sure those kids, are-"
"Sammy..." Dean shook. "I can't...you, you're gonna have to just, go on..."
Sam stared at Dean, seeing him standing with his back against the post, realizing with horror what happened.
"Dean?" He runs to his brother, too scared to look. "You're going to be fine..."
"Sammy..." Dean whispered.
"No, look at me..." Sam waits till Dean makes eye contact with him. "Just hold on, I'm going to get the first aid kit, call 911, and, and..." Sam runs off before Dean could speak, so he could not see the tears running down Sam's face.
"Oh..." It hurts to breathe, it hurts to stand, why is he moving so much. "Oh, God...Oh, God...son of bitch, this hurts..." Dean keeps trying to talk to himself, to keep himself going. This is not how I'm going out. Nope, I just got here!
He closed his eyes and prayed. A hand set down on his shoulder, and suddenly, he felt calmer.
"Back already?" Dean opens his eyes, and is shocked. "C-Cas?"
"Hello, Dean..." Cas was standing there, right in front of him. His eyes were so sorrowful, as if he were the one that got stabbed in the back. "Let me..." Dean shakes his head, but closes his eyes again, and takes a deep breath, bracing himself. Cas waits for his permission, and in a moment, he pulls Dean out of the longest nail Dean had ever had the pleasure of feeling in his life. He is gasping, it hurts so bad.
Dean grunts, grabbing onto the dirty trench coat like a life line, crying into Cas' shoulder. Cas places his hand over Dean's back where the wound was gushing out blood, and when heavenly light flowed out, the wound healed. Gasping for breath, Dean found it was finally easy to breathe again.
It was a miracle.
"Dean? I'm here! De-" Sam stops in the entryway of the barn with the first aid kit.
Cas looks over his shoulder, Dean still holding onto him.
"Cas?" Sam cries. "You're..."
"He's all right." Cas assures him. "Just a little shook up..."
Sam comes over to help Cas walk Dean out to Baby, and they set him on the ground, head resting against the cool metal of the car. Dean takes his time to breathe, and to tell his body that he was fine, but the shock was too much.
"I can't do it again...I just can't, I'm sorry, I can't..." Dean whines through tears. He is choking with sobs, and it breaks the others' hearts. "I'm done with it all...I just wanna go home..."
"Ok, ok, we can go home, right now, we're done..." Sam promises. "Can I have the keys?" Dean nods and motions for his pocket, and Sam gently reaches in to start the car.
"Come on, Dean." Cas helps Dean up and they move into the backseat, where lays Dean down, his head in Cas' lap. Sam drives them home, thanking Jack for another miracle.
Dean wakes up the next morning with a tear-stained face, but other than that, he felt fine. Something was off, though. The bed was weighted down more than usual. He turns his head to look at Cas sitting right next to him, fiddling with his phone.
"Dean?" Cas whispers. "Are you ok?"
"I think so..." Dean sits up. "I...feel completely normal, just..." Still scared...
"I'm so sorry I couldn't come sooner..." Cas apologizes. He still looks just as sad last night as he did now. "I was up in Heaven helping Jack rebuild everything, and, I heard your prayer, and, well...I'm so sorry..." Cas lets a tear fall. "You scared me..."
"It wasn't my fault...stupid vampires..." Dean mumbled.
"I know it wasn't." Cas confirmed. "You're safe now..."
"You're not leaving again, are you?" Dean asked. "Cause I can't go through that again either, you might as well just throw that damn nail back into me..."
"Dean, no, please..." Cas shook his head. "What's wrong?" He hugged Dean as he cried again. "I was just trying to protect you, but I wanted you to know that I do love you, more than anything..."
"Really?" Dean sniffed. He pulled back, and shyly laughed. "You weren't just saying that cause you were, um..."
"I love you, Dean." Cas said again. "I. Love. You."
Dean nodded, feeling that was about as sincere and upfront as he was going to get. "Thank-you...that's a relief..." At Cas' confused look, Dean takes Cas' hand. "Because...I love you, too..." Dean's heart is racing as he studies the look of shock and happiness and everything in between on the angel's face. "I've just been too scared to say it."
"Yeah?" Cas was so happy to hear, but part of him still doubted.
"Of course, I love you, Cas..." He takes a shaky breath. "But you gotta promise me something...don't leave me, ok? Please." He asked again.
"Yes, Dean, I promise..." Cas hugs him again. "I will always be here..."
"No, no, no, I mean, here, with me, physically. I need to see you to know you're here, ok? You've helped Jack, you've saved the world a million times over with us, can we just...slow the roll for a bit, yeah? I mean, who's going to look after Miracle? Sam? No, he's run off with Eileen who knows where, and-" Dean whistles, prompting Miracle to run up and jump onto the bed right into his lap. "You're a handful, aren't ya? I'm going to take good care of you, and so is Cas, right?" Dean turns the dog's face to Cas, who has to admit that it was hard to say no to two adorable faces now.
"That's right, Miracle..." He looks up at Dean. "I'm here to stay, and I'm going to take good care of you." He leans in for a kiss, and Dean had never felt better.