Three weeks, six hunts, and too many side-eye looks from Dean to count. We had just gotten back to the bunker from the last hunt, each of us showered and ready for the next adventure when Sam knocked on my door. "Hey, what are you up to today?" he asked as he leaned against the door frame.
"You're looking at it," I said, laying back down on the bed and tossing a rubber band ball in the air and catching it before it landed on my face.
"Alright," Sam chuckled, "You interested in some reading?" he asked, looking behind him out into the hallway before looking back at me.
"You have a hunt already that we need to research?" I asked, hopping off of the bed in a flash and making my way over to him.
"Whoa, whoa, slow your roll, Velma," Sam said, holding his hand out to stop me. "I was thinking about our talks in the car and as much as I love to play twenty questions with you about my life, I figured I'd let you read it yourself. Or well, some of it," he said, shrugging a shoulder before reaching behind him in the hallway and handing me a large canvas bag.
"What's this? Journals?" I asked before grabbing the bag. He handed the bag to me and my arm nearly fell off from the weight of it. "Jesus Christ, what the hell is in here?" I asked as I knelt down to the bag on the floor and opened it up. There were stacks of books called in it, all with different titles.
"I'll answer all the questions you want after you finish all of those," Sam said before he walked away.
"Are you kidding me?" I asked as I stalked down the hallway after him.
"Nope," he replied as he kept walking and headed into the library.
"It'll take me a decade to finish those," I said, leaning against the opposite side of the table he had sat at.
"Then you better get started. Looks like I'll have a while before I have to play twenty questions with you again," he laughed and I laughed as well. "Hold on, you got a little..." he trailed off as he stood up and leaned over the table. He reached out and picked at something on my cheek. "Got it," he smiled, holding his finger out to show me an eyelash.
"Get a room," Dean mumbled as he walked through the room to grab a book off the shelf.
"Just ignore him," Sam rolled his eyes, "Make a wish."
Closing my eyes, I willed myself to think of something I wished for, only one thing coming to mind as I puffed out a blow. "Thanks," I smiled at Sam before he sat back down in his chair and grabbed the book he intended on reading. I turned, looking for Dean in the room to find out what the hell I had done to him, but he was gone. I walked down the hallway and his door was open, he was sitting on his bed, ankles crossed, back against the headboard, book in his lap, and his brows furrowed together in concentration. "What the hell is your problem?" I said as I took a step in the doorway.
"Excuse me?" Dean said, putting a candy bar wrapper in the book to mark the spot he had left off.
"Did I do something to piss you off? You've been short with me and giving me dagger eyes for weeks," I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest and trying to stand as though I was the bravest woman in the world.
"It's nothing," Dean grumbled as he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up.
"Sure doesn't seem like nothing," I scoffed.
"Could say the same thing about you and my little brother," he retorted sharply.
"What?" I was completely thrown for a loop with that. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You two are damn near attached at the hip, you're sharing a bed with him when on hunts, and now he's grooming you like a damn gorilla," he growled out, running his hands over his face and turning to look at the wall with his hands on his hips.
"Are you," I paused, trying to control the smile widening on my face.
"Am I what?" he snorted turning to look at me, hands still perched on his hips.
"Jealous?" I breathed.
Dean laughed, like whole heartedly laughed and it caught me off guard. "Me, jealous? Pfft." he spat.
"Then what is it," I asked, putting my hands on my hips to match his stance. "What has your feathers so ruffled that you can't even look me in the eyes right now?" Dean's face fell, his jaw clenching as he worked up the balls to latch his eyes to mine. "Are you upset I'm getting closer to him than I am with you?"
"Look, if you want a ticket to the pony show I'm not gonna stop you," he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not everyone can handle a stallion."
"And there he is," I chuckled as I turned in the doorway to walk away.
"Who?" Dean asked, taking a step towards me.
"That cocky son of a bitch I met at the bar a month ago," I smiled before walking back to my room.
The creak of the door nearly had me jumping out of my skin as Sam's head popped through the crack in the door. "Holy fucking Hell, Legs," I breathed out as I clutched at my chest, trying to calm my erratically beating heart. "You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry," Sam chuckled before opening the door the rest of the way. "Jesus, Jay," he said as he looked around the room at the collection of coffee cups I had gathered over the night. "Have you slept?"
"An hour here...thirty minutes there," I shrugged before picking up the book I had dropped in my lap.
"Book six already huh?" Sam asked as he sat down at the foot of my bed.
"Yep. Remind me to oil that door," I said as I looked up over the book to him. "It creaked and my brain went into overdrive thinking the Hookman was coming to get my ass," I chuckled. Sam laughed his ass off, throwing himself backwards on the bed and laying across my feet.
"I can assure you, he's not coming back," Sam said as he stared at the ceiling. "Well, I'll let you get back to it," he said, sitting back up and slapping his knees before standing. "Text me if you need any supplies," he smiled before walking back out of my room.
"Holy mother of God," I breathed out as I reached the middle of the twelfth book, Route 666. "Is this classified as Erotica?"
"Did I hear Erotica in this Casa?" Dean chuckled with a shit eating grin on his face. I jumped at his voice and quickly stuffed the book, open to the page I was on, under my pillow. "I was just walking by and heard what you said," he said as his face relaxed, "You watching porn in here without me?"
"Porn? W-What?" I stuttered, shuffling on the bed to set up against the headboard as he walked closer.
"Then what are you doing in here," he asked as he walked up to the edge of the bed next to me.
"No-Nothing," I mumbled under my breath, finding it hard to look him in the eyes.
"Then what's got you so flushed?" he breathed out as he bent over to look me in the eye.
"Ummm, I'm fine." The words came out almost like a breath as my eyes connected with his and he pouted his lips slightly, his eyebrows rising just a fraction before he lifted a knee on the bed and started to lean forward toward my face.
"Oh, I can see you are fine, sweetheart," he nearly cooed and I scrambled, wiggling my body away from the headboard and trying to melt into my mattress to escape his closeness. My head had just hit my pillow and he was not letting up, as his body hovered over my own. He moved to the side of my head, his lips just barely missing my cheek before whispering in my ear, "Well, let me tell you...You aren't as slick as you think, darlin'." And then he was gone, standing up from the bed with the book in his hand. "Oh, sweetheart," he chuckled as he looked over the pages I had the book opened to and I prayed to God that he'd open a hole under my bed and suck me straight to hell just so I could escape this moment. "Oh sweet Jackie Daniels," he breathed out, "If you want to quit reading and experience the real thing," he paused, handing the book back to me, "You know where to find me," he added, giving me a wink. I could barely breathe as my heart raced in my chest and my face was on fire with a blush so hard I was afraid my skin might melt off. Dean stopped in the doorway, turning a little bit to face me as I sat up in my bed. "I may not be twenty-six anymore, but I can guarantee the movie we could make together would damn sure be better than the book," he smirked before walking back out of the room without a single glance back at me.
It took me a few minutes before I was able to get my wits about me again and decided it was the perfect time to take a break. I had been holed up in my room for close to four days and it was definitely time for some fresh air. I decided to take the rest of the day off from reading and headed to the shower to get refreshed. After my shower, I put on my red bikini, knowing exactly what I wanted to do. I threw on my cut off jean short and a white t-shirt and headed for the garage. I had gotten to know the area pretty well in the three weeks we had been coming and going from here and I had found a lake less than an hour away and in the heat of summer a swim sounded just right.
The drive had felt freeing and had given me time to sort out the feelings I had pulsing through me thanks to Dean. I pulled off onto a dirt road that led around the lake, stopping when I had found the perfect clearing. My phone pinged with a message from Sam asking where I went and I shot him a text back explaining that I needed some time away from the bunker and would be back in a few hours. I tossed my phone on the seat beside me before pulling off my t-shirt and stepping out of the car to pull off my shorts. The lake was beautiful in the bright light of day, the coastline of the other side off in the distance. I was alone for the first time in what seemed like forever and where it felt almost freeing, it felt lonely at the same time. The boys had ruined me with the feeling of camaraderie and for the first time ever I had wished I wasn't alone to bask in the beauty of the world. Shaking off that feeling I jumped into the lake and swam for a while before getting out and grabbing a towel from my trunk and laying out on the hood of Diane to sunbathe.
After leaving the lake I decided to grab some groceries to make dinner for the boys. While walking back out to the car I noticed how much I had neglected Diane. She was filthy, bugs were covering her front end, dirt splattered behind the wheel wells, and even bird shit on her roof. "I'm so sorry girl," I cooed as I climbed into the driver's seat after loading the groceries in the back seat. I pulled into the garage of the bunker and took the food inside to put them away in the kitchen and the place was almost completely silent. I could hear Sam listening to one of his podcasts in the library and what sounded like Scooby Doo off in the distance. I walked down the hall, finding the source of the talking dog, finding Dean and Jack sitting in what I assumed was the boys' Man Cave. Shaking my head, I grabbed my Bluetooth speaker from my bedroom and headed back to the garage to give Diane some much needed T.L.C. After linking my phone to the speaker I pulled Diane into the stall that was designed specifically for washing and took my time scrubbing her down. I was just about to finish soaping her up when I heard heavy boots on the steps of the garage. I could sense him as Dean watched me scrubbing the tail lights and decided now was a good time for some payback for the teasing he had given me earlier. Skynyrd's 'Simple Man' was just wrapping up and I knew the playlist like the back of my hand. The timing was right and the playlist agreed as Warrant's stripper anthem, 'Cherry Pie' came on. I pulled off the now soap covered white t-shirt and shook my ass as the song started. I tossed the shirt behind me and took off my shorts to keep from scratching my car up before grabbing the sponge I had been wiping Diane down with. I climbed up onto the trunk to wipe down the roof on my hands and knees and made a show as I continued shaking my ass in that position, scrubbing the roof. As the chorus came to a close I sat up on my heels, dabbing my neck with the sponge allowing the suds to flow down my body.
I almost broke character when I heard Dean groan, "Oh hot damn." I turned around, sliding down the back window on my ass until my feet hit the floor as the second verse came on. I grabbed the hose from the floor and hosed off the soap as I danced around Diane. As the chorus after the third verse came on and I had made one full pass around the car making sure all of the soap suds were gone, I turned the hose on myself. I hosed myself down completely, making sure I continued dancing and let my inner stripper go wild as I rubbed a hand over my breasts. After the song was over I dropped the sprayer and walked over to the spigot to turn off the water before turning the music off and grabbing my speaker and clothes. Dean stood there, jaw slack and eyes wide, at the top of the stairs. He didn't budge as I approached him.
"Now why don't you use all that drool to clean your dust bunny," I teased, smacking him on the ass as I walked by him and down the stairs. "Dinner will be ready in an hour, use your time wisely," I shouted back to him as I sauntered off feeling pretty damn good about myself.
"That was quite the show you put on earlier," Dean said as he walked into the kitchen.
"Thanks," I smiled at him over my shoulder as I finished making the mashed potatoes.
"Can I help with anything?" he breathed in my ear as he stood behind me, making chills run up my spine.
"You can get some plates for me," I answered as calmly as I could. "Does Cas eat?"
"He might," Dean shrugged as he walked over and got five plates and sat them on the counter. "If he don't eat it, I will," he smiled.
"Thanks," I smiled at him as I pulled the steaks from the oven where they were being kept warm.
"Holy shit," Dean nearly moaned. "This is like...real food."
"Ahhh, yeah," I looked at him puzzled. I didn't really know what he was talking about as we had cooked here before, staying away from fast food joints when we were home.
"No, I mean like, not pasta, not soup, not sandwiches, not pizza, not burgers, or hotdogs, but like a fancy ass, home cooked meal," he nearly drooled as I plated the steaks and put the rolls in the oven to warm while I plated the rest of the meal.
"Dean, when was the last time you had a home cooked meal?" I asked as I put a few scoops of mashed potatoes on each plate.
"Lisa," he whispered after taking a moment to think it over.
"Lisa?" I asked as I grabbed the pot of corn on the cob.
"She was...it's been a long time," he said, shaking his head before looking back up at me.
"Well, you are definitely in for a treat," I smiled at him, sensing he had remembered something that he had tried hard to forget.
"It smells great," he grinned.
He helped me take all of the loaded plates to the table after the rolls were done and yelled for the boys to come eat. Dinner was, for the most part, pretty quiet as everyone stuffed their faces. Sam was the first one finished, handing over what he hadn't eaten to Dean, who happily took it. Jack thanked me with a bright smile before leaving his plate on the table and taking off to go find Sam. Castiel picked at his food, explaining that he didn't have any need to eat, but didn't want to be rude since I had worked on making him a meal. By the end of the meal Dean had about two plates worth of food, his and then a mixture of what Sam and Cas gave to him. I finished my food, standing up and grabbing Jack's empty plate. "Here I'll take that," Dean said as he stood up from the table and reached out to the plates I was holding.
"You don't have to do that," I shook my head.
"Don't be silly, you cooked, I'll clean," he said, one corner of his mouth lifting slightly in a crooked smirk.
"If you insist," I said, lifting one shoulder in a slight shrug.
"I insist," his smirk grew wider and I couldn't help my smile from growing.
"Thank you," I nodded before handing over the plates.
"No, Thank you," he said, his eyes holding a look that said he was thanking me for much more than just the dinner before turning to take the plates to the sink. He turned around to find me still standing in the same place as I stewed over what he could possibly be thinking of. "Now get outta here and go finish your reading," he smirked cockily and I rolled my eyes knowing that the vulnerable moment was lost.
"How the hell does a series end like this?" I shouted angrily as I stomped my way down the hall to Sam's room. "What the hell, Legs!" That got Sam's attention.
"What?" he asked, sitting up straight in his chair. "Are you crying?"
"That doesn't matter, what matters is you gave me twenty four fucking books to read and the son of a bitch just leaves it with Dean going to Hell?!" I bellowed.
"Well, you obviously know he survived it," Sam smiled as he stood up from his chair and walked across the room to a box on the floor. "Here," he said, handing me two big binders. "They weren't ever published, or were never published in paperback," he said running his hand through his hair.
"Then how'd you get them?" I asked, looking down at the two thick binders.
"Becky had them, put them on the internet, so she had the originals. Got them from Chuck," he shrugged.
"Who's Becky?" I wondered out loud.
"She's...a friend," he nodded before turning to sit back down in his chair.
I didn't ask any other questions, too eager to finish reading these damn books and understand the hunters a little better. I was only a handful of pages into the first binder when I decided I needed to make a food and drink run. Deciding I couldn't put the damn thing down, I read while I took my trip to the kitchen. As I entered I seen Dean making himself a sandwich. He looked up as I entered the room and gave me a nod of acknowledgement before going back to finish his task. It was hard to make eye contact with him as I sat down at the table to finish the page I was on, "You don't wanna read that page," Dean mumbled with a full mouth as he reached over to turn the page but it was too late, the damage to my heart had been done. I hadn't heard him sit down across from me, too engrossed in the words on the page that were littered with emotion as Dean finally admitted to Sam what he had gone through in his time in Hell. I looked up at Dean knowing he could see the tears in my eyes and he swallowed his food before reaching across the table to wipe the lone tear that had fallen past the barrier. "Please don't," he whispered, his eyes looking as broken as I felt.
"I'm so sorry you lived this," I said, looking down at the binder and then back at him, "Both of you."
"Then don't finish them," he said, a serious edge to his voice as he closed the binder in front of me. "The Winchester story will never end in a fairytale, Jackie," he paused, looking down at the table and shaking his head before looking back up at me. "The stuff in these books are not pretty, hell most of our life hasn't been."
"And you think mine has been?" I interrupted him. "Yeah, I've never been to Heaven or Hell, or died a hundred deaths. But I've lived a hunter's life and I know the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows."
"How did you get these anyway?" Dean asked, changing the subject rapidly.
"A friend," I answered him nonchalantly.
"Looks like ole Sammy Boy has stayed in contact with his ex-wife," Dean chuckled before standing up and throwing his paper plate in the trash before heading for the door.
"Wait, Sam was married to Becky?" I shouted out to his retreating form.
"Just keep on reading," Dean shouted back.
The knock on my door peaked my interest, wondering who it could be since Sam and Dean had left on a hunt a day ago. "Hello?" Jack's voice said through the door.
"Come on in," I shouted and the door opened hesitantly.
"Hey, I brought you some stuff," Jack said as he walked in with a few plastic bags.
"What is it?" I asked, setting the second binder I was reading off to the side and swinging my legs off of the bed.
"Redbull, Monster, beef jerky, and chips," he answered proudly as he handed me the bags.
"Thanks?" I was puzzled as to what had spurred this on. It was no secret I hadn't been sleeping much lately, or atleast not sleeping on a normal schedule, because I was binge reading the Winchester story. But I had no idea how Jack would know what to get, then it dawned on me that he had probably watched the boys during case research. Sugar free Redbull, that'd be Sam. Monster energy drink, beef jerky, and chips, standard Dean road trip fuel. "This is really thoughtful, Jack. Thank you," I smiled.
"Okay, good," he paused, looking around the room before looking back at me. "Umm, let me know if I can get you anything else," he smiled and I gave him a smile back before he walked out of the door and closed it behind him.
"Hey, Jay, We're back," Sam said as he stopped at my doorway. I was face down on my bed, head in my pillows, but quickly jumped off of the bed, running to Sam and jumping onto him so I could wrap my arms around his neck. "Whoa," Sam chuckled. "Missed you too." My tears continued to fall as the sobs wracked my body. "Wait, are you crying? I thought you were laughing," Sam said, worry in his tone. "Oh," he paused, "You got to the end?" I nodded my head, knowing he had seen the second binder on my bed, on the last page, 'The End'.
I pulled back, looking him in the eyes, "I'm so glad you got out," was the only thing I could mumble before the tears fell again.
"Me too," he sighed, putting his arm around my shoulder and leading me down the hall to the library where Dean had all the liquor stored on a rolling bar cart.
"I hope you are ready to play a round of Drunk Twenty Questions, Moose," I chuckled as I wiped at my tear stained face and sat on the couch.
"If I'm Moose you are definitely Natasha," Sam smirked as he handed me a tumbler full of amber liquid.
"Deal."