-Lena-
Lena woke to the sound of a helicopter's propellers. She was being carried in a line of stretchers by DEO agents. She saw Alex climb into a helicopter leaning over a stretcher with a red cape hanging over the edge.
The agent behind her said. "We will be providing transport to Luthor Memorial Hospital Ms Luthor."
"No." She said with steel in her tone.
"That is unacceptable. I have to stay with -Supergirl, wherever she's going." She sat up mind scrambling for leverage and played the first card that came to mind. "Unless you believe your superior would appreciate you losing your only link to intel on project Cadmus."
The Luthor warned off any further objections from the government agents around her with glares and thinly veiled threats.
As the field medic picked shards of kryptonite out of her back, she composed a statement, every detail of the experience pushing forward her spiral into guilt and self-loathing.
When she did encounter the DEO director, a broadly muscled black man with a gravelly voice, she handed him the document. Without glancing at it the man looked deep into her eyes, unblinking for several moments before nodding his consent and escorting her personally to the medical clinic.
Lena moved to enter when she saw Dr. Danvers leave, not ready to confront the woman Kara had described as infinitely kind. Walking into the bright room, she felt overpowered by the complexity of her emotions. She saw Kara laying there in Supergirl's suit.
The usually lively fearless woman looked so broken.
The cuts and bruises on her face were still visible evidence of her mother's work. But before they had changed Kara into a fresh suit, Lena had seen the medical sutures her mother had made closing long cuts that would have served no medical purpose Lena was aware of. The nurse had just come in to take out her IV after having finished the second round of transfusions.
She felt so stupid. This was exactly what Kara was afraid would happen to Lena if she told her about her identity. That Lena would be tortured for information, forced by one of her enemies to give her away or killed out of loyalty.
She wasn't upset with Kara anymore, though part of her still had questions and doubts. It was more that she felt so deeply flawed and inferior next to this brave selfless compassionate person. The combination of Kara and Supergirl into one person made her feel like she was so good that Lena didn't deserve to be in the same room as her.
Lena Luthor felt like that kryptonite-laced weapon that had poisoned Kara in her sleep. Too dangerous to get close to, good intentions or no. She felt her mind reflexively grasping at any reason to force herself away from the woman.
Kate was wrong. It was Lena's demons that had gotten to Supergirl, not the other way around. This was her fault. Maybe Kara was right not to tell her. Maybe the girl was safer not being connected to a Luthor at all.
Lena took out the necklace she'd found on the floor. At first, she'd thought the pendant was just a large gem, but looking into its depths, Lena saw the crest. The one Supergirl had told her belonged to the house of El.
Touching her own necklace, the one a four-year-old Lena had begged her real mother to get her on her birthday, recognizing the letter 'L' from her name. Lena wished that she could be more like her sweet kind Irish mother. The one that held Lena and sang her Celtic lullabies.
Kara deserved someone who could comfort her with words, who didn't stiffen reflexively into an embrace. Someone as warm and loving and gentle as she was.
Securing the clasp around the blonde's neck, Lena reached down to take her hand and kissed it before resettling it over the gem.
Tears flowing down her face she turned to leave before noticing Alex, leaning against the door frame, hand resting over her stomach.
Feeling guilt lurch at her again, Lena asked softly, "H-How are they doing?"
Alex nodded smiling appreciatively, "Fetal heartrates are stable, and no complications yet. We'll know in the next few weeks. Thank you, Lena for everything you did." She sighed looking down at Kara. "There's something that she's been wanting to tell you. With everything you two have been through, well I'd rather this be my fault than hers."
"Alex, I know," Lena admitted.
"Damn it, I always told her glasses were a stupid disguise," Alex grumbled.
"I haven't known that long," Lena said narrowing her eyes.
"She's wanted to tell you for months. I had to yank her out of the air twice last week to stop her," Alex said. "She's never really told anyone before, not since she became Supergirl. She doesn't want to be the reason why people get hurt."
"It seems like knowing me might be more dangerous," Lena commented bitterly.
Alex winced. "No Lena. It just happened to be your family this week. She only agrees to keep secrets from nearly everyone in her life because kidnappings, extortion, brain-eating murderous houseplants. It all comes with the Supergirl territory. I've worried about her every day since Clark brou-"
"Clark, Clark Kent?!" Lena's eye's widened rapidly recontextualizing the super-reporter's relationship with Lex in her mind. Thinking of her own super-reporter she commented bitterly, "It's no wonder you didn't want a Luthor around Kara. I thought it was just about Lex, but this makes sense."
"Yeah, he -um a friend of the family you know. Found Kara. Not- eh." Lena was giving Alex a withering look. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, -could you avoid talking to J'onn for a while?" Alex asked fingertips rubbing her forehead. "I think I've probably dug myself deep enough for today."
Standing up the pregnant DEO agent stretched and started backing out of the room. "Now that I think, about it, *yawn* I'm actually really exhausted. I should probably stay off my feet for the twins before Maggie straps me to a chair."
Alex paused when she reached the door, looking back at Lena seriously. "Will you stay here with her for me? She doesn't like waking up alone in these sun pods."
Lena smiled and settled back down in her chair next to Kara. The girl had never slept in front of her before. ~Probably to avoid taking off her glasses~ Lena guessed.
It was good for the young Luthor's mind to be able to see both of them in her features. Things her brain had ignored in one and emphasized in the other all coming together.
She was worried about what the coma meant after spending almost all of the last two days in Kara's room. In that time, she heard what she assumed to be the voice of Clark Kent, using his commanding austere Superman tones to intimidate the peasantry.
Superman apparently had flown off from Kara's rescue effort after he heard about Lex's escape from the Raft and reported back to the DEO to collaborate with the man hunt. When the frustrated hero had heard from Alex that the youngest Luthor was in the building he'd insisted the DEO hold Lena in containment.
Luckily for Lena, Agent Danvers didn't seem to be particularly impressed by it. The Luthor was a bit surprised at the fervent defense the young agent had given Lena. She'd very nearly sent the god-alien to bed without his dinner to think about what he'd said.
Lena had a sneaking suspicion that Kara had talked with Alex on her behalf; a lot of the arguments she made against Lena being another dangerous Luthor were the same ones the blonde had consoled her with after she had to testify at her brother's last appeal.
Kara's adoptive mother was just as kind as Kara had promised. After reassuring the worried CEO of the normal prognostic timeline for Kara's recovery based on her previous injuries, the doctor had hugged Lena tightly and thanked her for the part she played in helping her daughter escape.
While she redressed Lena's wounds, the woman told her about how often Kara had called, ecstatic about an adventure she had with Lena, or agonizing about something awkward she'd let slip during lunch. The older Danvers had a knowing look in her eye when she told Lena that Kara was having a hard time understanding her own feelings lately.
Excruciating as it was to wait for her eyes to open, the time had been important for Lena. She was able to work on reconciling her memories of the two girls in front of her. Sometimes she smiled and laughed out loud connecting some little moments to the other identity. She remembered Kara always stuttering when she said God and talking about flying to see her on a bus. Or when Supergirl wore one of Kara's shy sheepish expressions when she corrected an equation on Lena's whiteboard at home. Or a couple of brilliant moves Kara had made the day they had played chess. Lena maintained her undefeated title of course, but there were moments when Kara's expression held that fierce intensity. ~Wait.~
Feeling a spike of frustration, the young Luthor shot out of her chair exclaiming accusingly, "You better not have let me win!"
"Shhh ba-dum, ba-dum." Kara whispered out hoarsely. Still looking like she was asleep, the blonde girl moved to the side of the bed and pressing her ear against Lena's chest smiling contentedly.
Lena touched her hair with a trembling hand and the girl's eyes popped open in surprise.
"Sorry, I thought I was just dreaming-, but I guess I've actually been eh- listening. I mean your heart beat it just sounds really nice. Like it's calm, or it was- but then it got all poundy. But that's not your fault obviously. I just wanted-"
Lena leaned down and kissed Kara on the forehead.
"Oh, Kara. I have no idea how it took me this long." Lena said stroking her blonde curls affectionately. Tears of relief gathered on her eyelashes and her voice came out in a rasp.
The blonde hero looked down at herself then mouthed Kara looking stricken. "I don't really remember everything, but how.. I guess that doesn't matter," she muttered then looked up at Lena with vulnerability in her eyes. "But, um. You d-, you don't sound mad."
"I'm not. I understand-"
Lena suddenly felt Kara's lips against hers and just as quickly the hero pulled away. Lena felt the withdrawal like a void.
"Um. Was that okay?" Kara stammered out nervously, "I mean. I don't know if you, like -just like her because-. Supergirl I mean. I don't know how you feel about-"
Lena responded by pulling the woman back against her. Her mind was flooded with feelings, relief, joy, guilt, desire. Maybe she didn't deserve this moment, but she had it, and she didn't want to think about anything but how much she needed to feel Kara alive under her hands.
She groaned into Kara's mouth when she felt the girl's tongue flick cautiously against her bottom lip. Lena deepened the kiss and it entered her mouth. She suckled at it playfully and felt Kara sag as her knees buckled. The blonde tripped backward to sit on the edge of the bed, and let out a low whine of discontentment at the separation pulling Lena's face back to her own and wrapping her legs around the woman's hips to keep her in place.
Her hands dug into Lena's dark hair as the determined CEO left trailing kisses down her neck. Kara in turn fumbled at Lena's back trying to free the silk shirt tucked into her skirt.
Pleased with her success once Lena was divested of a couple layers of silk, Kara gripped Lena's waist and lifted her onto the bed with a grunt of effort.
~Still so strong,~ Lena thought and raked her fingers ineffectively against the back of the hero's suit.
Sensing her frustration, the young hero eagerly made fast work of her top, granting access to the demanding CEO.
Seeing her body again, Lena pulled back her ferocity, but she still felt desperate to make the Kryptonian forget about it all for a little while longer.
Lena kissed Kara's lips with passion, then moved to her neck trailing her lips and tongue. Moistening her lips, she moved her body over Kara's bending over the girl's chest to –
"Lena, you should probably ke-, Oh God, my eyes! Mom, mom, don't come in here. I need your help with-, ov -over there," Lena heard Alex yell, voice trailing down the hallway.
Lena sat back on her heels with a pout.
She felt it replaced by a slow smile, amusement narrowly winning out over her frustrated sexual desires when she saw Kara hide her face under a pillow. Pulling the barrier down, Lena saw the girl's face was red as her cape. Kara kept one arm covering herself as she awkwardly grabbed for the stack of clothes laid out on her nightstand. Avoiding eye contact with the amused CEO she struggled to maintain her modesty as she wiggled into the shirt.
Lena rolled her eyes and hopped off the bed giving her a moments privacy until Kara made a noise indicating she was done.
Lena, not sure how confident she should be in Alex's stalling tactics, wanted to make sure that she wasn't alone in her sexual frustrations.
Turning back around the green-eyed woman pushed her dark disheveled hair up with one hand and bit a finger on the other, striking a pose she knew made an artful display of her cleavage she said, "Puis-je vous aider pour quoi que ce soit, mademoiselle?"
[translation- Can I help you with anything, miss?]
The blonde hero's mouth moved with no sound.
Laughing, Lena put her things back on and pushed the nurse's call light.
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Notes:
Yay! Angst level completed.
Got to say, I went through a lot of chocolate channeling all those angst feelings, but Danvers made it worth it for me in the end.
Next chapter will be a good feels Kara chapter.
If you can think of one, toss out your favorite not-curse word for Kara. So far I've used, golly, gee, dink, fuss-pot, shiznit and jerk-face. I feel like there are a lot of options, but something a little extra innocent would be appreciated. Thanks!