Part 3 – Virgil
Virgil felt as if he was walking through a nightmare, like he was just a robot doing what he was programmed to do. After Scott and Alan had told them John was gone and that Five had exploded he had turned and stormed out. He needed to get away from his father before he said something he knew he would regret… like Jeff would regret being so cruel to John. Oh God… Virgil had even told him he would! Earlier this day! Did… did that mean this was his fault? Virgil stopped walking and stared at his feet. He had said Jeff would regret his words and actions one day… because one day John would be gone. Oh God this was his fault. He had tempted fate and fate had listened. Oh God what had he done… this… this was his fault and now Johnny was... Something wet hit the carpet between his shoes. His eyes widened slightly and he raised his hand towards his face. He touched the skin underneath his eye and felt that it was wet. He stared at the wetness. What was happening? His head was hurting. Why? He was not sick or hurt so why was his head aching? He sniffled. Was he getting sick? More and more droplets hit the floor. Virgil wiped at his eyes with his sleeves and his chest started aching when he tried to breathe. His sleeve was soaked through. His legs felt like jelly.
He pushed the door in front of him open and slammed it closed behind him. He leaned against it and slowly started sinking down to the floor. His chest ached with each sob escaping… that's right. He wasn't sick... He was… crying. He hid his face in his knees and wept. This was unfair! Why? Why John of all people? He had never done anything to anyone! Why did he have to die!? It just wasn't fair! It should have been him! Him or Scott because they were the oldest! They should die first because you should die in order by age! John should not have died first! He should have been safe where he was! He shouldn't have been there! He should have been home with them! Christmas was a time for family after all and John was family! Not that Jeff acted like he was but he was! John should have been home with them so that Virgil could make sure he truly was okay and not just acting like it while looking like death warmed over!
Virgil looked up from his knees and his gaze landed on the desk where his sketchpad lay. Virgil got up on shaky legs and hurried over. He started flipping through the pages. He knew it was there somewhere. He knew it had to be! He kept flipping the pages until he found what he was looking for. When he did a quiet sob escaped him again. A tear fell down and hit the paper. Virgil loved sketching all his brothers but it was always difficult to get them to stay still… everyone except John. John could be still for hours if Virgil asked him to and even if Virgil didn't ask to. Like in the sketch he had just found. John was sitting on his bed, arm resting on the windowsill and his head resting in the hand of said arm. His other hand was holding a book open while John was looking out at the sky above. He had a tiny smile on his lips and his eyes were twinkling. Virgil had walked by and found him like that and the opportunity had just been too perfect. He hadn't sketched John in a while and now… now he never would again. He put the sketchpad down on his desk and walked backwards until he sank down on his bed. He looked out at the blue sky. That was so wrong… how could the sun be shining so brightly and warmly when Virgil's heart had been torn out? He heard someone knock on his door but ignored it. He didn't want to be near anyone right now… he wanted no in there. They would not understand. No one in the family could fully understand what he was feeling. Not even Scott knew what it felt like to finally have someone that depended on him for things.
Scott had always been there for as long as Virgil remembered. He was just one year older than Virgil after all. It had always been the two of them against the world and whenever Virgil got scared it was Scott he ran too. Scott was his big brother, he could do anything Virgil couldn't! Virgil had wanted that and when he was four he finally got his wish. He got a baby brother all of his own! When John was four Virgil was eight, John would hurry to him when he got scared. If it wasn't really bad of course because both of them ran to Scott then. Virgil sniffled and thought back to when he was a little kid. He and Scott had just come home from school and had greeted their mother and the babies in the kitchen. Virgil had noticed John was nowhere in site and had gone looking for him while Scott had been busy telling his mother all about his day. Virgil had been nine and John five so it should not be too hard to find the little boy. It had not been. Virgil had found him in the first place he had looked. John had been in the room the three oldest boys shared. He had been sitting on the floor doing something with pen and paper. Lots of scrunched up papers were around him and Virgil walked in and looked at them.
"Johnny what are you doing?" he had asked.
"Virgil!" John had screamed in glee and had flung his arms around Virgil and had snuggled close. Then he had started crying. Virgil had panicked at first but had then calmed down and had started to comfort his little brother. John had told him that a kid in his preschool class had taken his lunch and had made fun of his drawings.
"Ms. Simmons told us to draw spaceships and I tried to draw daddy's and Peter laughed and said my drawing was bad and that I was stupid and that I didn't know anything about rockets! Then… then everyone laughed at me and said Peter was right and said I lied when I said I do know space!"
"Of course you know space Johnny", Virgil had said. "Daddy say you know more than him!"
"Peter said I lie and he tore up my picture." John had sniffled. "Ms. Simmons thought I did it and got angry with me. I said it was Peter but she said I lied." John sniffled. "Mommy didn't believe me when I said it was Peter."
"Mom is just stressed about the babies", Virgil had assured.
"She said she'll tell daddy and that I am to stay in our room for causing a fight…"
"Causing a fight?"
"I hit Peter in the nose after he ruined my picture and he ran and told…" John sniffled and looked at his feet. Virgil had pulled John onto his lap and had cuddled with him.
"Tell you what Johnny", Virgil had said. "I'll teach you how to draw the bestest rocket ever!"
"Bestest isn't a word."
"Oh hush genius", Virgil had teased and had started tickling John who had started laughing. When Lucy had come to tell them it was dinner John and Virgil had drawn five very different rockets, one for each brother. While John had hurried off to wash up Virgil had told their mother what John had told him and she had told him to not believe everything his brother said. Virgil had been very angry with their mother and had talked to their father before she got a chance. Luckily their dad had believed John when John had told him what had happened. There had been a fight about it, Virgil remembered that but he also remembered Lucy apologizing to John. When they were in their room at night Virgil had felt John crawl into his bed and snuggling close. Virgil had smirked at Scott when the older boy looked over at them, looking a little jealous. Well Scott didn't have to be the hero all the time. Sometimes Virgil was the one to save his brother.
Just… not this time. Not when it had really mattered. John had been alone when the station exploded. He had faced that horror all alone. Virgil looked at the watch on his arm, the watch John and Brains had designed and John had gifted them. Maybe… maybe there was still hope. Maybe… if he just pressed the button. Virgil did just that… and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened. He sobbed harder and slammed his fist onto the bedside table, knocking over his digital photo frame. It fell to the floor and a song started playing. Virgil gasped and turned to stare at the recording. He saw himself behind the piano. It had been late, very late. A few years before IR had launched. It was Christmas Eve and he and John had been the only ones still awake. They were waiting for their father to come home. Scott and the other three were off camera, fast asleep and in Scott's case snoring. Virgil was sitting by the piano and playing a song. John sat next to him on the stool and he was singing. Virgil was the only on who knew that John could sing. Virgil picked the frame up and made sure it was not ruined and he turned up the volume and looked at himself and John perform. John's warm voice filled the room along with Virgil's soft piano-playing and the added-on string instruments and... Virgil thought it was a vibraphone.
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting tired and I need someone to rely on
Virgil sobbed at that. John had been getting tired and he had been relying on them, his family, to make sure he got home and got rest. John had not asked because Virgil as well as John had known that Jeff would have said no. But seeing John like that should have made their father see sense… why hadn't it?
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only they knew? John and Virgil had a place like that on the island. A little ways into the jungle they had discovered a peaceful glade where they would go together to just relax and get away from the craziness that was their family. If John was upset that would be the first place Virgil would look for him and vice versa. After harrowing rescues Virgil would go there and call John up so that they could talk in private. Now… they could never do that again.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need someone to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
'Cause this could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Virgil sobbed and hugged the frame tightly to his chest. He would never have that place again, not without John! He would never be able to call his brother up for a chat or pull him into a hug or… or draw him again or play music together or have John going over schematics for the 'birds with him because they could upgrade the computers together! Virgil sobbed and curled in on himself. His little brother was gone and was never coming back!
He heard Three return home but ignored it. Why did it matter? John was not onboard. Only Scott and Alan were. John would never be on that rocket again, would never come back from space! He was gone! And… and Virgil had not gotten to say goodbye! Whenever John or Alan went up to Five Virgil made sure to hug them and tell them he would miss them. This time they'd gotten a callout so Virgil had not been there when John had left. He'd not been allowed to say goodbye and now… and now he never would again! Did John think they didn't love him? Did he in his dying seconds think they had given up on him? No! No that could not be it! They had not given up on him! They would never give up on each other! Wait… wasn't that was Virgil was doing right now? He looked up. He had left Gordon all alone after the news hit the island! He flew up. He had to find him! He couldn't leave Gordon all alone! He threw the frame on the bed and it started the song again, he ignored it. He had to find Gordon!
Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the best :3 I do however feel the need to go hide in a very dark and very deep hole right in the middle of nowhere. Oh but I'll leave lots of tissues for you if you need them! *runs off*
I don't own the song!
TBC