Part 4 – Gordon
"He's dead dad! Johnny is gone!" Alan's scream rang through the lounge and Gordon stumbled backwards when he heard it. Virgil slammed his hands down on the piano keys and stormed out. Tin-Tin held a hand to her mouth, her eyes welling up with tears. Grandma sat down on the couch and started softly weeping. Gordon heard a crash and turned and saw that his father had dropped his coffee cup. It had shattered against the floor. Jeff was hanging onto the desk, his face ashen and his eyes wide. Oh so now he cared? Now that Johnny was already dead and gone he cared about him?! Gordon turned around and fled the room and the house.
He ran out past the pool and up the path to the lookout point near the roundhouse. He heard his grandmother call out for him at one point but he ignored it. How could he not? His big brother was gone! John was dead! Gordon had known it could happen to one of them some day but… but not today and not to John. He was always… had always been the most cautious and careful of them all. Looking over all the data before he acted and thought twice… no thrice about safety measures. He was always the reliable one, even more so than Virgil and that was saying something.
Gordon's feet carried him forward and upward. It was that reliability in John that had made him the perfect candidate to help Gordon with his physiotherapy when he was learning how to walk again. John would challenge him, support him, let him went his frustrations on him and just… just always know what Gordon needed. John had always known exactly when something bothered one of them. One of the brothers would be hurting and he'd just materialize next to them… like magic. Rady to lend an ear and a hand. Not much of that materializing these days… but always a call. John was a mind reader… had been. Okay not really but close enough. Gordon had asked him about it once… during one harrowing session during his physiotherapy. John had just smiled at him and said:
"I know my brothers like I know my own mind."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Gordon had groaned and John had taken his hands and helped him stand, slowly but surely.
"It means exactly what I said", he had replied. "I know my brothers like I know my own mind, no one will ever be able to find anyone as loyal or as kind." He had wiped a tear from Gordon's cheek. "Gordy we've always been there for each other, all five of us. I know where I have you guys and you know where you have me. Where else would I be than at your side when you need me?"
But no one had been at John's side today… or this last week… this month… these months… year… years. John had been left to fend for his own so much it was a miracle he hadn't up and left them long ago. Which had led them to always underestimate their brother. Gordon remembered a terrifying rescue where he and Virgil had both been forced to stay aboard Two while John and Scott tried to rescue the people from below. Only problem was that the construction site was filled with chains and cables and they had come loose. Suddenly John had braced himself as a chain came towards him. Scott had pushed him out of the way, which had angered John and then their brother had grabbed onto said flailing chain and sailed up to the roof where the rescue victim had been trapped. He'd helped the victim up and had grabbed onto another chain, getting lifted down to the ground again. Gordon had been too scared to look and Jeff had tore John and new one over it. John had ignored that though, he'd just stood tall and had said that he had only done what his brothers would've done if they had thought of it. Which was true Scott and Gordon himself would probably have done just that. That it was John who had done it had terrified them all because it had been so unexpected. John always found… had always found ways to remind them that he was not as fragile, weak or green as they thought. Especially when put in his element. He had pulled of some of the most amazing maneuvers in Three that the brothers had been at a loss for words.
Gordon sighed. John had always been an underdog in a way. The rest of them had always been athletic and thrived in sports while John had been the academic type. Scott and Virgil under… had underestimated him constantly. John had been subject of bullying until he hit high school and… something had happened. Gordon wasn't sure what it was, but no one dared bullying him then. It might be that they thought it too cruel to bully a twelve-year old. Plus the fact that Virgil and Scott had both been there to keep an eye on him. They were so used to protecting their younger brothers that they forgot that their brothers were capable of defending and taking care of themselves. No on more so than John. While Scott and Virgil had always been close and Gordon and Alan were more like twins at times John had always been the odd one out. Which had never bothered him because he got to choose sides and he had always been the one you tried to get on your side. Gordon sniffled thinking of all the times they'd had water fights in the past or snowball fights. Or prank wars. At times John joined forces with Scott and Virgil… and that was very dangerous… had been very dangerous. At times he had joined forces with Gordon and Alan and then things had been hilarious. John was… had been a tactical genius. You did not want him on your bad side because if John was after revenge… boy were you in deep shit. John had once had Gordon running scared for a month after Gordon had pranked him. John always got you… had always gotten you back when you least expected it. Gordon sniffled louder. That would never happen again. He stumbled and fell over the last step up to the lookout point. He went down with a yelp and a cloud of dust.
Gordon didn't know how long he laid there, but when he hit the ground he started crying. He started sobbing and slamming his fist into the dust. This wasn't fair! How could this happen!? They had no warning! They got no alarm! Nothing to tell them there was trouble aboard the station! Gordon was hit with a horrified thought. Had John gotten a warning and had he tried to tell them about it? Had he reached out but had not been able to get through? Had he called out to them for a rescue that never came? Had he been conscious when the station blew up? Had… had he felt it? Gordon felt sick. What if John had felt it all? Gordon could not imagine what that would be like, but it made him feel sick. John didn't deserve to suffer like that! No one did but especially not John! Gordon got onto his knees and dry heaved. He could almost feel the smell of burning flesh and taste blood in his mouth. He knew what fried circuitry smelled like and he knew what burnt flesh smelt like. John did not deserve that fate! What if it had been worse though… what if… what if Five blew up due to meteor strikes? Had John been thrown out into the vacuum of space? Gordon had read about what could happen if on was blown out into space and he had asked the three astronauts in the family about it as well. It was not a pretty picture. Had that happened to John? Oh God! Gordon did throw up then.
"Gordon!" he heard someone yell and felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. Someone rubbed his back. "It's okay Gordy… I got you."
"It's not", Gordon sobbed.
"It's not what?"
"It's not okay", Gordon sobbed. "It's not okay Virgil!" Virgil felt Gordon pull him into a tight embrace and Gordon clung to him. "It's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay, it's not okay!"
"Y-you're right", Virgil got out through his own tears. "It really isn't."
"Why Johnny? Why?"
"I don't know."
"But we must find out", a quivering voice said behind them and they both looked up and saw Scott walking towards them slowly. Gordon was shocked. He'd not even heard Three return. Scott fell to his knees next to them and Gordon got hugged between his oldest two brothers. He shivered. Why was he cold? Sure the sun had set and the sky was darkening… but the weather was still warm. He felt Scott and Virgil tighten their hold on him and he had not felt as small as he did then for a very long time. He sniffled. Then a horrifying thought hit him.
"Where's Alan?!" he asked and looked up at Scott.
"I don't know", Scott replied. "I went looking for him but couldn't find him."
"So he's alone?!" Gordon asked and started squirming out of the hug. "We need to find him!"
"Gordy-"
"No!" Gordon got up. "Don't just sit there! We shouldn't be alone and least of all Alan!"
"What do you mean?" Virgil asked.
"He'll blame himself more than anyone else! Because… because he knows he should really be the one who was up there… he should have… he should have taken his tours and not make John do them! He'll… he'll think this is his fault!"
"You're right", Scott said and got up, pulling Virgil with him. "We need to find him before he does something drastic."
"Like what?" Virgil asked. A huge smoke cloud came from the hangars.
"Like that", Gordon said. "Come on." All three started running down the path. What had their brother done now?
Am I evil? Am I doing this on purpose? Why yes, yes I am.
TBC