Author's Note: Hi Everyone. Sorry for the wait for this chapter. I've been busy with work and haven't had much time to work on this fanfic ;_;. They've put me into the Admin office for this week so I spend all day answering phones, stuffing envelops and doing odd jobs here and there.
I miss moving computers and setting them up for users. Give me that over talking to people over the phone any old day!

With this chapter we're back with Bilbo and a slightly older Frodo. Think of this chapter as sort of being the calm before the storm. At least that was how I thought of it as I was writing this chapter :D

Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter Nineteen

The Worries of a Mother

Bilbo was not in a good mood, not one little bit.

"Where are you, you rascal!" She hissed as she moved through the cornfield, her annoyance and motherly fears rising several more notches when she received no reply from her wayward son.

"Frodo Thorin Baggins! Come back here this instant!" She all but yelled. It was growing quite dark and while she knew that she and her child were perfectly safe within the Shire, she had been, for some reason, on edge for almost a week now.

Why she had thought taking a walk with her son through a cornfield was a good idea was beyond her. She knew before they had even entered the field her rascal of a son would pull such a stunt as this and lo and behold he had.

"Frodo!" She jumped when she heard the screeching of birds over head, frowning because this would be the time of day for birds to settle down for the night, not take flight… unless, something had disturbed them.

She swallowed nervously and ploughed on through the cornfield, calling her son and silently begging that he would appear soon so that they could return to the safety of Brandy Hall.

Listen to you; she scolded herself, getting more paranoid with each passing season!

"Frodo! Come here right now! We're going to be late for dinner, young man!" She came to a fork in the path that she had been walking along in the field and felt a growing sense of dread.

Why wasn't he responding to her? He wasn't even in his teens yet and he had already become rebellious. Not in a nasty way that some hobbit youngster could become, but that lad was simply so curious about his world that he wandered off on a wimp and usually did not want to come back simply because his mother was calling him to do so. Oh, his curiosity and wanders-lust was going to get him into all kinds of trouble.

"FRODO THORIN BAGGINS!" She was yelling now and her feet had broken into a run as panic stirred relentlessly within her gut.

Why was she feeling so terrified all of the sudden? Why was she feeling as if something bad was just on the horizon? Why…

She was knocked clean off her feet by something small and solid moving at a tremendous speed. She rolled over on the path so that her wayward child was now sitting on her belly.

"Frodo…" She started to snap but stopped when she looked into her child's face her heart pounding madly within her ribs. She pushed herself up on to her elbows to get a better look at her child in the fading light.

"Yes Mama?" her son leant in closer and when she blinked her son's face was peering back at her from his mess of black curls, his brilliant blue eyes wide and apologetic.

"What have I told you about running off on your own, young man?" Bilbo reprimed as she forced her heart to return to its normal speed as she rolled her child off her belly so that he now stood beside her as she pulled herself to her feet and wiped down her clothes.

"Not to?" Her son was kicking the ground with his toes, his head bowed and arms tucked behind his back.

"And what did you do?"

"Ran off on my own." The boy muttered.

"May I ask why you disobeyed my very clear instructions of not wandering off on one's own?" Her son shook his head and Bilbo sighed, rubbing her face.

"Let's just return to Brandy Hall. I'll think of your punishment when we get home."

"Yes Mama." Frodo mumbled and Bilbo sighed again before cuddling her son close, kissing the top of his black curls.

"I just worry about you, so much." She whispered into his curls, "I love you more than my life. You are my life, darling boy and it scares me when you pull stunts like this."

"I'm sorry Mama." Frodo whispered as he hugged her tightly back, "I love you too."

"I love you most. Now come on, let's get back to Brandy Hall, they're all probably wondering where we are."

Hand in hand mother and son walked back the way they had come through the cornfield.

"Mama?"

"Hmmm?" Bilbo asked as she breathed a deep sigh of relief as they exited the cornfield and could see the lights of Brandy Hall in the distance.

"Do you ever feel like you're being watched?"

"What?" Bilbo forgot her relief as she looked down at her son sharply. The lad blushed and looked uncomfortable. Bilbo forced herself to become calm before asking, "Why do you ask, darling boy?"

"I don't know," the boy shrugged, "it's just a feeling that I get sometimes, that someone is watching me. It makes the hair on my feet and on the back of my neck stand up straight."

Bilbo swallowed as her son described the exact same feelings that she had been feeling for the past week.

"It's nothing darling." Bilbo lied, though was she actually lying when she herself wasn't sure if it were true?

Hobbits weren't known to get feeling such as the ones her son and herself were experiencing. Yes, there were some who could tell when it was going to rain due to a prickly sensation in their feet hairs, but no hobbit that Bilbo knew of received feelings such as these.

"It's nothing." She says again and forces herself to smile down at her son, "but how bout until these feelings go away completely, you keep close to me and not," her son started to blush once more as he predicted inside his head of what she was going to say next, "wander off."

"Yes Mama."

"A lot of "Yes Mama's" today, how bout actually doing what you're promising to do, hmmm?" she nudged her son playfully causing him to giggle.

"Race you to the front door." He yelled, letting go of her hand and taking off at a sprint towards the front door of Brandy Hall.

"You little cheat!" Bilbo cried laughing, breaking into a sprint herself. Her son squealed as she caught up to him, snagging him in her arms and placing kisses all over his face.

"MAMA! Let go!" he giggled and squirmed in her arms, trying his best to escape her embrace.

"Never!" Bilbo laughed and with her son still trapped against her, she walked them both through the front door of Brandy Hall much to the amusement of relatives who were standing by it, curious to see what all the commotions was outside.

Bilbo simply grinned widely at her Brandybuck relatives, still holding her prize close to her chest as she marched him to the closest washrooms to wash the dirt from his grubby paws.

Bilbo had always loved parties that were hosted by either one of her Took or Brandybuck relatives. A love that she had clearly passed on to her son, whom was laughing and dancing around with his many, many cousins from both Took and Brandybuck clans in the middle of the parties dance floor which was really on a large area of grass that was surrounded by tables and benches just outside of Brandyhall.

"Frodo seems to be enjoying himself." Bilbo looked around to smile at Eglantine Took nee Banks who had her latest addition to her family curled up in her arms.

"That he is." Bilbo beamed moving over on the bench she was sitting on at the edge of the dancing ring to allow the new mother of now three beautiful daughters to sit down beside her.

The two mothers smiled as they saw their children, Eglantine's eldest daughter and Frodo, dancing together. Frodo was taking great care to keep the little girl safe from the more robust moves of older cousins.

"He's very good with them, the little ones." Eglantine compliment as she settled her newborn daughter into a more comfortable position in her arms.

"He is. I'm very proud of him for being such a loving and patient older cousin." Bilbo said fondly, a motherly smile gracing her lips.

"Takes after his mother there, I do believe," Eglantine smiled and Bilbo blushed beneath her freckles.

"Yes, I suppose he does. I've always gotten on better with my younger cousins, but I'm sure your husband can tell you all about that." Bilbo replied with a small smile.

"He does." Eglantine agreed, "He tells me that some of his best childhood memories are of the days spent with you and Saradoc."

Bilbo shook her head laughing softly, smiling as she saw Saradoc son and currently only child run up to play with Frodo and Eglantine eldest daughter.

"I was so hoping that this little one would be a boy." Eglantine admitted softly, "I know how much Paladin and Saradoc hoped that they would have sons who would have the same friendship as they have."

"Eglantine," Bilbo said with a small laugh, "you are barely forty! You have a long time yet to give dear Paladin a son. Young Merry is barely more than a toddler, so there is no rush. Enjoy the time you have with your children, for each one is a blessing in themselves."

Eglantine smiled widely at Bilbo.

"You are very good at speaking exactly what one needs to hear. And you are right, I am still young yet and plenty of time to give Paladin the son and heir that he desires. Not," Eglantine added with a wide smile, "that he isn't delighted with our girls. I've never seen a man so wrapped around a six year old pinky, but dear Pearl, she only has to ask and Paladin will do everything in his power to give it to her." Eglantine laughed. "Same goes Pimpernal and, of course, little Pervinca here." the new mother smiled softly down at the sleeping babe in her arms and Bilbo felt the familiar itch she got whenever she was around a baby.

She crossed her arms across her chest, trying to fight the irritating itch of longing and to not think how she would never hold another baby of her very own ever again.

"Would you like to hold her?" Eglantine asked and Bilbo feared that the hobbit lass had read her thoughts. Though if she really had read Bilbo's mind, Bilbo very much doubted that dear, sweet Eglantine would want her holding her child at all.

Say no, say no, her brain hissed at her furiously, say no, say no! Save yourself the heartache.

But in most matters involving young children, Bilbo's heart overrode her logical brain and her arms were moving without her mind's consent as she took the babe from her mother.

"I'll be back in just a moment." Eglantine promised before she disappeared amongst the party-goers.

Bilbo stared transfixed at the child in her arms, her heart thudding madly in her chest. It was silly, how worked up she got whenever she held a baby but it had been such a long time – or at least it felt like such a long time since she had held her boy like this – and she couldn't help but long for another child whenever she was near or had a baby in her arms. But of course another child of her very own would be impossible. The only way she would get another child running around her home in Bag End were if she was to adopt or foster one, as an unmarried mother, even with her more laid-back relatives fostering a child was very much out of the question and she had no close relatives with young children who were on their death beds. And even if she did, those children would never be allowed to be adopted by her.

She sighed heavily and forced those thoughts out of her head and instead simply enjoyed the feeling of holding a baby once more in her arms.

She was such a pretty little girl. Bilbo could see already that she would be taking after her Took of a father, much like her elder sisters did.

I wonder what our daughter would have looked like Thorin, if we had had the chance to make her. Would she take after you, like Frodo certainly has or would she be more like me? Either way, she would have been beautiful, the gem of your eye, I am sure.

Bilbo closed her eyes, fighting back infuriating tears.

Now why had she gone and thought that?!

She shook her head, forcing the thoughts and worse the images that the thoughts had conjured within her mind out or at least to far regions of her mind where she now stuck most of her thoughts about him and what she – they had lost.

She could not… would not think of such things, her heart shards could simply not bear to think of such things or they might just break what little remained of them.

"Mama?"

"Hello my heart. Having fun?" She smiled as she opened her eyes to see not just her son but Eglantine eldest daughter and Saradoc only son standing by him, their little heads tilted upwards to look at her.

Her son hopped onto the bench beside her and looked down at the baby in her arms.

"She is very small." Frodo commented, wiggling a finger in the palm of the sleeping baby's. He smiled when the baby's fingers closed around it.

"You were once this small." Bilbo told him smiling fondly at the memory of her darling boy being so small that she could carry him in one arm if she wished.

"As were you two." She added to the giggling youngsters.

"Was not!" Saradoc son complained before grinning teasingly at his cousin, "Pearl was though. She was as small a squirrel!"

"Was not!" Pearl said with a stamp of her tiny foot angrily, her tiny face scrunching up with the threat of thunderous tears, "Don't lie Merry! Lying is bad!"

Merry grinned at Frodo who was giggling quietly behind his hand

"Merry don't wind up your little cousin." Bilbo reprimed the little boy gently, who blushed and nodded.

"Now why aren't you lot all dancing and playing?" Bilbo asked cheerfully, "it's a party; you should all be out having fun, not hanging about boring old me."

"You're not boring Mama. Or old." Frodo said so firmly he caused her to laugh as he reminded her of Kili during the few moments she had seen the dwarf lad looking serious about anything.

"Will you be telling us a story soon, Auntie Bilbo?" Merry asked his grey eyes wide and hopeful.

"Maybe." Bilbo laughed ruffling the six year old curly brown hair.

"What are you lot doing?" twin voices asked and Bilbo winced at the unison shrieks of "Papa!" as Merry and Pearl flew at their respective fathers, easily being swung up into the arms of their papas.

Bilbo felt a sting in heart as she watched her favourite male cousins play with their children, her eyes flickering to her own child who had suddenly become very intent with playing with the little hands of tiny Pervinca.

This was one of the many problems of bringing Frodo to family gathering. He saw just how different he was from other youngsters his age. He had no father and he had no idea why.

Bilbo wished all the harder that her four dwarves could come and visit her and Frodo more often than they did. When her dwarves were visiting Frodo seemed to notice less the absence of a father figure, not when he had four uncles dotting upon him.

He never questioned her on why he had no father, but she knew he must wonder. How could he not? For a child as young as he was, he had an intelligent and inquisitive mind; of course the thought had come to him, plagued him even.

Bilbo felt guilt gnaw away at her gut. She wanted to protect her child, not cause him even more harm.

She ran her fingers through his dark curls, smiling softly as he curled his body up against hers. They stayed like this long after Eglantine had returned for her child and she, her husband, his best friend and their children had moved off to enjoy the celebrations, leaving mother and son to enjoy their time together.

"Mama?"

Bilbo opened her eyes to the darkness of the guest room that she and Frodo were staying in for the duration of their stay in Brandy Hall.

"Yes, sweetheart."

There was a short pause and Bilbo wondered if Frodo had simply called out her name simply to make sure that she was still there in the unfamiliar room with him.

"Mama, why don't I have a papa like everyone else?"

Bilbo's heart sank. Even though she knew her bright little lad had wondered why he no father in his life, she had hoped to wait until he's late teens, early tweens even before he started asking her questions about it.

Which is hardly fair, a voice that sounded very much like her mother retorted tartly. You are simply being a coward and it was wrong of you to leave him wondering for so long.

It was, of course, very wrong of her indeed. But it hurt to even think about Thorin, let alone try and talk about him to the son he didn't even know he had.

"You do have one dearest one." She spoke slowly and carefully, feeling the hole in her chest start to rip open a little.

"Then where is he?"

"Far away."

"Dead?" Bilbo bit down upon her bottom lip hard at the thought of Thorin being dead. It was an unbearable thought.

"No, not dead. Just far away."

"Why? Doesn't he want us?"

Oh, sweetheart, Bilbo moaned silently, feeling tears prick behind her eyes, you he will want with all his heart. It is me who he cast from his side forever and has banished from ever seeing him again on pains of death.

"Mama?"

"No, that's not it, darling."

"Then why isn't he here, with us?" Frodo demanded his young voice angry.

"He can't be sweetheart. He has duties and responsibilities that must come before us. He can't help that he can't be with us."

"What duties? What responsibilities? To who? And why are they more important than us? His family!" her little lad demanded frustration and hurt laced thickly in his young voice.

"His people, dear one." Bilbo sighed softly. "When you are older you will understand everything. When you are older you can go and meet him."

"What if I don't want to?"

"What?" Bilbo felt her heart shards constrict at her son's words.

"What if I don't want to meet him, my father? And why should I? Why should I when he thinks of his duty and responsibility above those who are his family."

"Oh Frodo." Bilbo whispered as she blinked back tears in the dark, "I wish I could make you belief that your father is so much more than that and that he would put you above his duty and responsibility in a heartbeat." If he only knew about you…

"Then why doesn't he?" Frodo grumbled before exclaiming, "And what about you, Mama? He has to put you above his duty and responsibility too."

"He might have, once, but now…" Bilbo shook her head. Her son was still far too young to know everything about his unusual family situation. "Please, dearest heart, know that when you and your father meet he will love you with all his heart. Just give him the chance to do so… please, for me?" Her request was met with silence and it made her heart shards wring and twist in pain.

She heard movement from the bed opposite hers and then a small body sliding underneath the covers of her own bed.

She wrapped her arms around her tiny son, tucking his head beneath her chin.

"How do you know, Mama?" Frodo asked in a small voice as he wrapped his arms around her neck, "How do you know he'll love me? What if he does not?"

"Than your uncles will beat him stupid." Bilbo replied sounding far more aggressive then she means to.

Frodo giggles at the thought of his usually quite friendly and gentle uncles beating anyone stupid before whispering

"They know my father?"

"Very well in fact." Bilbo assured her son, "and they will be with you when you are to meet him. As will Gandalf."

"Gandy, really?" the boy sounded brighter for a moment before his voice grew quiet and unsure once more, "but what about you, Mama? Won't you be with me too when I go to meet him?"

"I – I," Bilbo bit down upon her bottom lip, trying to think up a reason as to why she would not be with him when he finally met his father. Maybe when he was older she would tell him of her banishment but right now… "Of course I will be dear heart. We'll all go and meet your father together."

"Like one big family." Frodo mumbled softly a wistful note to his voice as he yawned loudly.

"Yes, one big family." Bilbo muttered as Frodo curled up against her chest and fell quickly into a deep sleep while his mother lay awake stewing over her life and what a mess it was still in.

Bilbo threw an arm over her eyes and tried to sleep and not dream of grand halls filled with treasure, of a dragon hissing cruel words that made her doubt her king's love for her, and of a King who broke her in so many ways that it was miracle that she had continued on living.

Only for her son. Only for their son.

Author's Note: Yes, I gave Frodo the middle name of Thorin. I don't know why, I don't even remember writing it, I just reread this chapter and went 'Oh, ok' and couldn't be bothered taking it out. It could be argued that Frodo might make the connection that Thorin is his dad because Bilbo gave him his name as his middle name because while Bilbo doesn't like talking about Thorin directly, Frodo still knows about him because Bilbo's (and the other four dwarves) told him bits and pieces of her adventure.
I like to think that he thinks, at the moment at least, that he has Thorin as a middle-name because his mama wants him to grow up to be a strong, loyal and honourable person, as he perceives Thorin to be. That's my thoughts and I'm sticking to them. Also as smart and perspectives as Frodo is, he's only ten - I don't know what ten years old is in hobbit years but think of him as being a over-intelligent seven year old.

I was wondering, and keep in mind that this won't be written for quite some time, but would any one be interested in reading about Bilbo's pregnancy/return trip to the Shire as well as Frodo's childhood? I want to write about it after I'm done with this fic but I'm just curious if any of you would be interested in reading about and if so, if you had any particular ideas about what you would like to read in it. Let me know :D