"Good morning, Vale. It's ten thirty-six in this great kingdom and the heat wave of summer is upon us! It's already seventy-two degrees in Vineyard, eighty-four in the desert, and it'll be damn close to one hundred in the city. Best thing you pasty little weirdos can do is stay inside, crank up the AC, and stream some movies. For you beautiful people out there, I'll see you at the beach." a radio DJ declared to his masses over the airwaves, radiating out from a handheld radio in the sand.
The beaches were packed with blankets, umbrellas, and people soaking in the intense rays of the sun. The warf splitting the beach teamed with those seeking entertainment, the sidewalks and shops along them bustling with business. On the far end of the beach heading out of the city, where the crowd was lighter, Yang lay on her towel, napping peacefully in the sun in white bikini that complimented her complexion, as well as showed off her endowment, sunglasses shielding her eyes. She finally stirred awake, stretching and yawning before rolling onto her stomach, propping up on her elbows and crossing her ankles in the air behind her. She took notice to an attractive, muscular man standing before her, his skin bronzed and leaving little to the imagination with his speedo, and his wavy brunette hair tied in a man bun behind him. Yang smirked as she took her glasses off her face, looking up with a sudden scowl as she screamed, "What the fuck are you looking at?!"
The man was taken aback by her burst of rage, looking at the ground in embarrassment and wandered off down the beach, Yang muttering to herself, "Fuckin' animals, all of you fuckers. Girl can't even feel safe in the big city. Now that I put a dickhead in his place, let's take care of these horrible tanlines."
Still stewing in her anger, Yang undid the back string of her bikini top, no sooner did she lay back down than did her scroll ring out for her. Yang growled as she propped herself back up, yelling at her scroll, "This better be good! I don't get much time off as the CEO of a booming business, so make it quick."
"Well, excuse me, I was only the heir to a company that had more gross income than every other company in the top ten combined. You have every right to be pissed off." Weiss sarcastically replied.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite facetious friend! Weiss, my formless female, what brings the pleasure of your voice gracing my scroll on my day off?"
"Glad we could get on the same page so quickly. You remember how I said I'd be getting in touch with someone for the next stage of our plan? Well, you're the one Yang, and that time is today."
"Oh, you really know how to get me hot even with this heatwave bearing down on us, Weiss. If it weren't for the fact I'm on a beach right now...eh, fuck it, where's that vibrator?"
"Okay, ew, first of all. Second, we have to handle Signal Security, and the opportunity to cripple them has shown its face today..."
"GODDAMMIT, WEISS," Yang bellowed, "I'm already wet enough to drown a toddler in the half of the bikini I'm currently still wearing, enough with the teasing! Give mama what she wants!"
"I have no idea how I have any sense of decency left between you and Ruby being my only acquaintances. If it's what you need, the FIB still have no idea I bugged their internal web browser and I've got the news we've been waiting on. Signal has a cargo plane taking off from Fort Ironwood with a huge cache of weapons in a few hours. You need to get on that plane and get rid of everyone on-board, destroy the tracking device in the cockpit, and crash it somewhere they can't recover it."
"OOOOOH, WEISS," Yang mockingly moaned, laughing as she continued, "So, what's the plan to get my ass on that plane?"
"That's the problem. We've only got two options to get this done. Plan A: Storm the base, board the plane, and take it that way."
"Yeah, that's a good one, Weiss. Let's just get into a military base, for one, steal a gigantic plane, and put it in the ocean before I get shot down. Genius. What's Plan B, just out of curiosity?"
"You're going to have to find a way to get it in the air. This is an unaccompanied mission for them, no jets to stop you. Procedure dictates that, if they're caught with their pants down, open the hatch and open fire on anything following them. So you'd have to get something small enough to not get on their radar and fit in that opening, at least enough to storm the plane once you jump out."
"Finally, you prove your worth, Weiss! Meet me at a shitty little airstrip north of the desert, can't miss it once you get north of the lake and take a left."
"I'm terrified and anxious to see what your idea is. Do this for me, Yang, and I can pull the few strings I have in this city to sweeten this deal for you."
"I don't need to be bribed, Weiss, but a little incentive never hurt anyone. I'll see you in a bit."
The call ended, Yang set her scroll down and reached to her mid back, trying fruitlessly to retie the strings of her top. Growing ever frustrated, Yang declared, "Fuck it," and slung the top over her shoulder, leaving her towel as she headed for her truck. In her path, she caught the attention of the man from earlier and, presumably, his girlfriend, a short, thin woman with her hair in similar fashion to his, a skin-tight blue one-piece covering her body. They stared in awe for much different reasons at Yang as she strolled past them, the brawler confronting them as she shouted, "What, neither of you ever seen a pair of tits before, huh?! Well, by the looks of it," she paused, looking over the woman, "you guys haven't."
The woman's jaw practically hit the floor, her companion trying to stifle his laughter in vain as Yang headed for her truck once more. Slamming the door behind her, she struggled to start the engine, cursing and stomping the floor before it finally did. She sped out of the parking lot, cutting off a car that screeched to a stop and blew its horn at her. Paying it little mind other than to instinctively flip it off, she whipped onto the highway and sped off towards Fort Ironwood, heading for home to make a quick change.
A thin, elderly man in overalls looked over his rusted, barely functioning crop duster. His thinning, wiry white hair covered by a straw hat, his boots caked in mud, and face and teeth worn from decades of drug abuse and hard labor. Finding little wrong with the craft on the exterior, he turned to exit the hanger when he found a hot blonde thing in her Hunter uniform, back and one cocked leg propped against the open door of the hanger. The man gulped nervously, murmuring to himself, "I must be on that good shit again."
The woman smiled playfully at him, strutting towards him before caressing his face with the back of her gloved hand, the man's eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head with delight. This was no trip. The woman leaned in close to him, the farmer reciprocating the action as he anticipated a kiss. Instead, she whispered in his ear, "I need a favor."
Serving only to tease the already enticed farmer, he eagerly obliged with a hoarse, "A-anything you want, doll."
Her circled around his chest, slowly going down his abdomen before she gently grabbed his groin. Suddenly, she clamped down with tremendous force, the man squealing in agony as as the pressure only persisted. The man fear his testicles would burst at any moment, not in the way he was accustomed too, and was offered a way out as Yang ordered, "I hate to have a guy by the balls but I don't have the time or patience to deal with any bullshit. I need that plane, no questions asked. It won't be coming back and, if I find the police looking for me, you won't be going anywhere again without blowing into a straw. You don't know how it went missing if they look for it. Like I said, if you even breathe a word of who I am, I'll rip your balls out and feed them to you by force. Got it!"
The man whined and nodded vigorously, allowed to breathe again as Yang released him, shoving him as she screamed, "RUN! Now, before I just kill you and take your shit!"
Taking her orders, the farmer beelined it out of the hanger, nearly running into an elegantly dressed woman with long white hair tied in a pony at the side of her head. The woman looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and concern, saying to herself, "Good God, what'd she do to the poor soul?"
Weiss rounded the corner into the hanger to find Yang looking over the craft, being met by her booming voice as soon as the brawler spotted her, "Weiss, so glad to see you," Yang charged towards her, lifting her up in a spine-cracking embrace before dropping her to continue, "I almost couldn't be fucked with to change into this but then, I thought, why not keep the trend going of the good old days of fucking over the man."
"Well, I'm glad you're making more responsible decisions. Progress." Weiss jibed.
"Lick my clit."
"And, just like that, we're back to square one."
"Whatever, princess. This thing'll do the job if they haven't taken off yet. How much time do we have?"
"About sixteen if they're sticking to schedule, think you can cross the kingdom in that time?"
"Honey, I flew to this fucking shithole in Ol' Faithful, a duster no better for ware than his piece of shit, in a day. Of course I can."
"Good. Now, like I said, be prepared for them to open fire when you get to close. Just keep your head down."
"Mhm, yeah." Yang replied, climbing into the seat and beginning her pre-flight routine.
"Now, once you blast your way through the guards on-board, get to the cockpit and smash an orange device in the dash of the plane. You're gonna have to dig for it but, once that's gone, they'll never find the plane on the seafloor in time to save everything in it."
"Whatever you say, sweety." Yang replied, flipping switches and securing herself in the plane.
"Yang, pay attention, dammit! This is important, at least try to act like you care."
"Well, what the fuck is the fun in that, Weiss?"
"You don't get how serious this is, do you!? This armory they're carrying could wipe us out in an instant when given to the soldiers they're destined for. They're bringing in even more mercenaries to fight us, Yang, that's why they're leaving the kingdom. By tomorrow we could all be dead. They've already got their most extensively trained soldiers guarding this plane. Don't think they're as big of pushovers as the cops or SWAT. And if you...if you died doing this, we'd be so badly disadvantaged. I'd honestly kill myself if we lost anyone, we can't afford to get careless any time soon." Weiss confided.
"Wow, you really no how to kill the mood, don't you," Yang jabbed, catching Weiss by surprise, "Seriously, I fucking got this. You keep your bitching up and I'll give you something to bitch about, you got that, you spoiled brat? And I'll make sure you double whatever the fuck favor it is you're doing for me. Are we clear?"
Weiss was left open-jawed with astonishment at what her accomplice said, smirking then as she said, "Glad to see you're ready as ever. Does the earpiece work?"
"I don't know, let's see," Yang said, pushing her finger to it, "Coming inside you, princess, which wouldn't be the first time."
"Alright, we're set. What's your gameplan to fight the best Fort Ironwood has to offer?"
"You see, my innocent little snowflake, I am going up against men. They pride themselves in being the dominant sex. Despite that, their inherit superiority granted them an immense Achilles heel. Do you know what that is?"
"Commitment? Alcohol? Sports? Violence?"
"All valid answers, but you overthink it, Weiss. Simply, when fighting a man, don't fight fair. My twat can take a beating, for a reasons ranging from what comes out of it to what goes in it. Their balls, however, can hardly handle a harsh poke."
"Well, I'm glad I've sent the Napoleon of our era to do battle. Good luck, Yang."
"Oh, cut the bullshit, we're killing precious time for my killing time."
With that, Yang flipped the final switch and the propellers began to spin. The plane lurched forward a few time before finding a rhythm in its roll. Yang turned left down the runway and gained momentum before taking to the skies. Yang's voice and static filled Weiss' ear, the brawler saying, "Holy fuck, Weiss, I can see my house from here."
"What did we just talk about?"
"Oh, loosen up, Weiss. God, I can't help but think all this pent up frustration is part daddy issues, part not getting enough dicking. Hell, if you were as loose as me, you could take the entire varsity football team."
"Oh, please, I get more offers and advances than I'd care to bore you with. All of them wealthy and much classier than the drunks, crystal heads, and shitty humans you let in like the Trojan Horse." Weiss scoffed.
"Oh, the heiress finally showing some spine, maybe we'll see that again when you kill your dad."
"Who said anything about doing that?"
"Oh, come one, Weiss! We know that's the endgame. We have to take care of all of our enemies, permanently, and you know that means everyone. Cardin, Roman, your dad, and your whole family for that matter. Anyone who poses a threat to us has to go."
"You know what, I'd much rather talk about my sex life than the prospect of murdering my whole family right about now."
"Maybe at our next sleepover but, for now, I'm coming up on the base, and the plane is just taking off."
"Be careful! If you go right over the base, they'll know something's up and scramble the jets!"
"That's the plan! Weiss, how fast do you think they can go?"
"Are you out of your mind!? They easily go ten times the speed of that shitty duster you're in!"
"Fantastic! And how long 'til they shoot the plane when I jack it? Oh, if I had a nickle..."
"Yang, I won't spill my heart to you again without chewing your ass out, don't go over the base!"
"Oh...sorry...we're...breaking up...can't...hear...bitch..." Yang stammered, making static noises in between each pause before muting her earpiece.
Just as she did so, the radio of her plane was jammed by the plane she chased, demanding, "Aircraft, you are flying over private airspace of the Vale Army. Turn around, ground yourself for detainment, or be prepared to be engaged."
"Oh, I'm just a lonely only farmer dusting my crops. What do you have against my people anyway? We're always the ones who enlist for you, I think I'm owed this time."
Yang continued to fly towards the plane, the hatch unlocked and slowly began to lower, the radio offering another warning, "Aircraft, identify yourself and your credentials, or you will be shot down!"
"I can't reveal my identity for the safety of the public. I do, however, have a strong piece for my credentials and, pardon my French, you're going to find that out when I ram my foot up your asses so hard you'll be eating through wired jaws! Fuck you!"
With that, Yang turned off the radio to her plane and sped towards the opening plane. As soon as it was lowered, a rocket sailed out and over her duster, Yang shouting, "Rockets?! That's not fair, you dicks, just wait 'til I get my hands on you!"
Bullets began to impact the body of the duster, smoking as another rocket flew just under her. "Fuck, hold on, old girl, we're almost there."
Yang gained more and more on the plane as the bullets and rockets peppered the air, finally within striking distance as she shouted, "Prepare to be boarded, assholes!"
The men firing at her screamed and threw themselves off the plane as she rammed into the opening, sheering the wings off but getting it in far enough to apply the brake. She hurled herself out of the plane, taking cover behind some ammo crates as a jeep struck her plane, both careening out of the plane and into the ocean. Yang's gauntlets deployed down her arms, uttering, "Showtime," before vaulting over the boxes.
Yang's advancement was halted as she was confronted by a man with an assault rifle pointed right at her. He swung the butt around to strike her, Yang ducking the blow and bringing her fist to her side. She lunged back up with a blazing uppercut to his groin, lifting him off the ground and racking him in pain. Yang snatched him by the ankles and swung the point of her foot into his chin, making him flop back onto his head. Dazed and unable to react, Yang brought her foot back and punted the man's crotch, sending him sliding into the before them with a crunch as his head punched through it. "Who's next?!" Yang called just before ducking their fire.
The group closed in on her location, the first man breaching to her side and firing where she was. However, he only managed to fire upon the ground, the brawler having vanished. The men looked around in confusion for where she'd gone, finding their answer as she shouted, "Yoohoo, boys! Nice rides you got here, let's take 'em for a spin!"
With that, Yang released the parking break on a jeep, sending it careening down at the men. Half of them managed to duck to cover but the rest met grisly ends. Two were struck by the front end, one going down to have a wheel crush him from crotch to skull, popping like a tube of toothpaste, while the other was carried on the hood. The last had his foot crushed by a tired, his flesh wrapping around the rear axle and dragging him off with the vehicle. The men rose just as Yang lept into the middle of them, grabbing the heads of both men on each side of her and slamming them together. The soldier before her drew his knife with an inverted grip, slicing for her neck but only cutting air as she ducked is swipe. She shot her fist out into his manhood, the fiery blast taking him off his feet and his fall was hastened as Yang grabbed the back of his head and slammed him face-first into her knee, the sickening crunch of his nose echoing over the engines and wind. Yang suddenly shot her fists out to her sides and clocked both men in the balls, blasting them into the walls and sliding to prone positions in agony.
The man before Yang pushed himself up tentatively to his knees, sheepishly aiming his gun up at her, only to have it ripped away. Yang aimed the gun down at him and shot him right in the manhood, the man rearing back and howling. Yang brought her fist back and threw a haymaker into his open mouth, her fist going into his maw and the subsequent blast blowing the back of his head off. Yang tossed the gun aside and kicked the corpse off her arm, turning and catching the arm of one of the soldiers who attempted to stab her. She wheeled his arm around behind her, making him stab his own ally in the neck behind her. Too shocked react, the soldier did nothing as she uppercut him in the jaw sending him flying into the ceiling with force. As he descended, Yang spun around and planted the flat of her heel into his cheek with a reverse roundhouse, sending him spiraling out of the plain. "Now, let's deal with that fucking pilot."
Hearing the commotion, the pilot had taken his pistol out, set the plane to autopilot and took aim at the hole above the ladder. He heard something climbing it, cocking the hammer back as it neared the top. Suddenly a hand shot up through the hole, a woman's terrified voice screaming bloody murder, "HELP! There's terrorists on the plane!"
The man lowered his gun and grabbed the hand, pulling the blonde up to reveal tears on her face and the top strap of her dress undone, her chest nearly billowing out of her top. She continued to babble hysterically, "They're killing everyone down there! They tried to do things to me but I got away. Please, don't let them touch me, they said they'd do unspeakable things to me!"
"Ma'am, you're safe, just stay behind me and radio for help." the pilot ordered, not taking his eye or aim off the ladder.
"Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!" Yang cheered, facing the man's back with a sadistic grin.
She cocked her leg back and sent it flying up between his legs, the forces taking him off his feet as he nearly tucked into a ball to cup himself. He did a half somersault before plummeting through the hole, Yang cupping her ear to listen to his scream before cringing as he slammed onto the metal below head-first with audible crunches and snaps. She turned to the control panel behind her, cracking her knuckles before throwing a fist into it. She jammed her arm up to the shoulder into it, fishing around for anything as she cursed and yelped to herself as the metal dragged across her skin. Finally, with an, "AH HA," she ripped the black box out of the console, crumpling it like a tin can between her hands.
She switched her earpiece back on and informed, "Weiss, the crew's taken care of and I smashed that shit like you said. Now what?"
"Get out of the plane, now. Is anyone following you?"
Suddenly the aircraft rocked with a boom and Yang was thrown about the cockpit, shouting, "I think I might have, why?"
Outside, a pair of fighter jets tailed the jet, one calling over the radio to the other, "We are authorized to dump the load on it. Fire what you got and let's head back to base, we'll track it down later today."
Back inside, Yang had to hold onto the pilot seat to prevent herself from being tossed about like a ragdoll after four explosions rocked the plane. "Yang, what's going on?" Weiss demanded.
"Mayday, mayday, we're goin' down with ship captain!" Yang cried.
"Yang, do not fuck with me right now!"
"I'm not, they're shooting me down. All according to plan."
"What plan, Yang?!"
No answer. "Yang?! Yang, goddammit, don't do this to me!"
Still nothing. "Yang?! YANG?!"
Same as before, no response. Weiss fell to her knees, covering her mouth as tears filled her eyes. What were they to do now? They may have crippled one of their strongest opponents but at what cost? They had never seen eye to eye and, indeed, were polar opposites. She could be rude, rash, and evil at times but, as much as she hated to admit it, Yang was not only an accomplice, but a friend. As an accomplice, though, her strength and resilience would have been invaluable. What were they to do now?
"Weiss? Weiss? Answer me, you stuck-up cunt!"
Weiss instantly lept to her feet, uncontrollable in her volume as emotion overtook her, shouting, "Yang?! You're alive!"
"You really are starting to piss me off with how little faith you have in me. I couldn't get out until this thing was clear underwater. I just surfaced, no sign of the jets so we're in the clear."
"Yang, I fucking love you so much right now!"
"What are you, fucking gay? Keep that shit to yourself."
"I'm so happy I don't even care. Signal has no new mercenaries, that means they don't have more to throw our way, and they're down God knows how many guns and untold amounts of ammunition."
"Yeah, I know, I'm kind of a big deal now. So, does this outdo Ruby's tank feat?"
"I'll leave that to you two, since you're both so level-headed and mature."
"Kiss my ass, snow queen."
"Never change, Yang. How far are you from the shore?"
"Oh, fuck me! That's the next problem...I'll call you when I get there..."
"Sounds good. I've already been working on something for you. I'll let you know as soon as you get to shore."
Weiss end went dead, Yang looking at the kingdom on the horizon, rearing back and letting out an echoing, "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
Yang dragged herself ashore, panting under the early evening sunset. Gasping for air on all fours, she finally managed to get to her feet, revealing she still had the hunk of metal that was once the black box in one hand. Her hair was plastered to her back, her eyes heavy and face loose with exhaustion. Before her was the couple she had confronted earlier, looking on with anxiety at her appearance. After several tense moments, Yang raised the smashed device and flung it at the man, nailing him in the face and knocking him out cold. She merely gave the woman a cold, dead look and she rose, running away screaming in terror. She strolled up towards a parking lot, first stopping to pull her boots off, then her socks, and letting out a satisfied, "Aaaaah," with each step of barefoot on hot sand. She loosed one of her arms from a sleeve and pulled up one the top, revealing her lack bra that merely wrapped around her back and barely held back her bust. Finally, as she reached her towel, she pushed down on her skirt and shimmied her hips, letting them slide to her ankles, showing off her matching, lacy black panties, before stepping out of them and flopping chest-first onto her towel. She let out a long, tired groan as she put her scroll to her ear, ringing twice before Weiss answered, "Well, I take it you made it ashore?"
"Of fucking course I did. You better have made this worth my while." Yang rebuffed, her voice deep and guttural with exhaustion.
"I did. You remember Ol' Faithful?"
"How could I forget?"
"Well, I have connections to the hanger at the Vineyard Airport. They've been keeping it in fairly good condition since there's a lengthy process for disassembling any aircraft. I managed to snatch it up just a few weeks before they were gonna scrap it. I'm having it toed privately to the airstrip in Sandy Shores as we speak."
"Weiss...I don't know what to say."
"It's alright, Yang, let it all out."
"No, I mean I literally don't know what to say. I'm very, very thankful you got me that. But I had to swim what felt like a hundred miles in full clothing with the twins trying to sink their mama. I'll express my gratitude when I'm a bit more lucid."
"Point taken. I'll have your truck dropped off for you at the parking lot on the far side of Valerian Beach heading out of the city."
"Sounds like a plan, I'm so close I could piss on that lot."
"Ah, I'm starting to grow more and more attached to Yangisms. Thanks again, Yang, we owe you so much more. But, for now, enjoy the rest of your day off. We may not have many more left in the coming days."
"Fuck off."
"As you wish, we'll be in touch." Weiss finished, ending the call.
Yang was almost instantly outcold, the radio DJ reporting once more with a much more panicked voice, "We have just received word a cargo plane was shot down while leaving Fort Ironwood. Reports say that the plane was forcefully boarded and the military had to go by procedure to shoot it down to protect the public. It is unknown who has survived, if there are any deaths, who or what was on-board, or who boarded it at this time as the military is not releasing many details..."
Man, it is so good to be back to updating! Hey, guys, DAM here once again. I hate to put my shit at the end of stories not named Death Battle so I'll keep this brief as I feel I need to address you guys.
I've had a VERY busy semester but I'm finally free for the next month to update. Note to self, don't take three 3000+ level courses in one semester. I'm so sorry I couldn't do it regularly and that all you got was a couple of shit-stirring DAM Ruins FanFiction updates. With my own epiphanies on my writing this semester, my love for constructive criticism, and strive to improve, I promise I will continue to provide the quality you've come to expect and always seek to improve where I'm lackluster. Feel free to tell me what I did write but don't hold back where this could improve and my other stories as well. I'm going to be much more critical of myself than I usually have been thanks to this semester of reflection I've had.
But, otherwise, everything this semester has been really good. My grades are fine, I'm more enthusiastic for my career path and being a writer than ever, I know what I need to do to improve my strengths as a writer and student, and I even managed to bag a girlfriend. I also returned to the Milwaukee Public Museum to speak to the US Fencing Team about the history of fencing weaponry. The curator also asked me to come back next year when the Weapons Exhibit I worked on opens to give tours for a few weeks.
Alright, enough of the personal shit, back to why you guys even acknowledge I exist. We have four more updates of GTA: Vale, then we shift to three updates of Death Battles (as I've already done two beforehand), and five of Vale between Worlds before we return to this story again. Thanks so much for your ongoing support in my absence, guys, I can't describe how much I appreciate it. Remember to leave a little love here, on my other stuff, and with my friends, and don't forget to cite your DAM sources!