"because i dropped your hand while dancing

left you out there standing

crestfallen on the landing

champagne problems"

Taylor Swift, Champagne Problems

Regina was struggling to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. She repeated to herself, the pangs in her chest growing sharper by the second. It wasn't supposed to end this way. Regina screamed into the void of her mind. Tears continued to stream down her face, her mascara running wild. She was standing outside the restaurant, leaning against the bricks; the crisp winter air sent chills down her spine. She felt as if something was suffocating her and the night air only made matters worse as she continued to relive the night in disbelief. The night shifted from a lovely dream to a horror-esque nightmare in a matter of seconds. It had begun with a surprise when they passed up Granny's diner and instead found themselves at Tony's, a fancy pasta place up the street - a place Regina rarely frequented (or had occasion to at least). She had been there once and found herself surrounded by sickening couples eating each other's food which was enough to make her want to destroy the place.

"What the hell am I doing?" Regina screamed into the night air. Living in such a small town had its advantages, one being everyone was usually home by eight and while this was good, the downside though meant everyone in town would know about the night in somewhat inaccurate detail faster than she could teleport herself home. The whispers began even as she was walking out of the restaurant. How incredibly effed up could she be to turn down perhaps the only proposal she may ever receive. What right had she to do so, especially being the evil queen and all. The town would be sent into a frenzy; wondering, gossiping about the evil queen stealing another heart and her carelessness with it. Regina was disgusted with the town, but more so with herself. She, in all honesty, couldn't pinpoint the reason for refusing Robin. For the last several months, the town made its opinions known. Robin deserves someone much better than an evil witch. Like the squeaking of mice, Regina wished on more than one occasion she was the ruthless monster the townspeople still believed she was just so she could do away with the people who refused to see anything other than evil in her.

Could this be it? Regina thought to herself. Regina hated being out of control almost as much as she hated the whispers. It would be so easy to convince herself that she made a mistake. That she really meant to accept the offer and that she was being stubborn or experiencing a common case of self-loathing; yet, as she dug deeper into her own confusing subconscious, she realized it was so much more than that. How she would love to run back in and accept, but she couldn't because no matter how much she loved Robin, she couldn't picture a future that involved waking up next to him every morning.

Sure, she had fun with Robin, it seemed like she had known him all her life despite only meeting him a few years ago and he played a major role in her development; he was the reason she had continued to search for her happiness. She loved his smile and the way he threw himself into everything with the utmost care and depth. He was always all-in and that was part of the problem. Always so determined to see the good in Regina, he hadn't realized he only accomplished pushing her away. All of her problems, her fears, her worries about her future seemed to be a problem Robin thought he could fix. Sometimes, she didn't need a fix, she just needed someone to listen and empathize with her and for some reason, Robin was determined to fix her, and to be honest, Regina didn't think she needed fixing. Just someone to tell her it was going to be okay. For all his virtues, Robin didn't seem to be a very good listener, and yet, because she was the evil queen, no one saw any of this. They only saw an ungrateful b*tch determined to make herself and those around her miserable.

It would be an understatement to say Robin's proposal came as a surprise. Along with being unexpected, it was very poorly timed as Regina had made the decision earlier that day to suggest they take a break during their dinner. After they placed their order, Robin asked if she would like to dance, soft music was playing overhead and there was a space to the side of the room for couples if desired. Regina had accepted and allowed herself to be led to the dance floor. Their hands fell into place, One of his at her waist and hers resting tentatively around his neck, their free hands intertwining. They were close and she leaned against him, breathing in the scent of his cologne and hoping to find some kind of spark they had once had and when she couldn't find one, she realized this would be their last dance.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she sought to conceal her emotions as the song faded out. Regina, overcome, dropped his hand and realized she had to regain her composure. She turned away from him, not wanting him to notice her sadness. A split second later, she turned back and found Robin was not standing where she had left him. No. He was kneeling. A small diamond caught the lights from overhead and cast them every which way.

"Regina," Robin began and she, with a pit in her stomach, felt, with full force, the eyes of those closest to them swivel toward her as she stood at a loss for words. He reached for her hand and continued, "You have made me perhaps the luckiest man alive. I want our lives to forever remain as blissfully happy as we are now. Will you, Regina Mills, marry me?" Regina gawked at him. She couldn't help it, nor could she help the shake of her head. The light in Robin's eyes seemed to flicker and Regina could no longer hide her feelings any longer. Fresh tears began to cloud her vision and she could feel her own heart break at the revelation.

Robin stood up, grabbing her other hand. "Regina?" He whispered, looking as if she had ripped his heart out and crushed it. She looked into his eyes, searching for understanding, and only found confusion. As much of a surprise this proposal was to her, he too believed this was only a formality. That they, as a couple, were ready to move forward with marriage.

Regina took in another shaky breath. Drying her eyes, she knew she couldn't go back into that restaurant. Instead, she pushed herself off the side of the building and began to walk home. She wasn't sure how she would ever be able to face Robin again, but she would deal with that when the day came. For now, Regina had to work on herself because as much as she hated to admit, amongst the shock and sadness of the night, there was a nugget of freedom deep in her soul that was now free to take flight. She was free to find her own happy ending, and while she didn't know what all that would entail, she knew it involved finding and accepting herself, and she, for perhaps the first time in a long time, took a step towards it.